Woman Says Her Husband Always Oversleeps, and It Might Destroy Their Marriage
A woman and her husband got into an "extremely bad' fight over his habitual oversleeping
Her husband has always had 'trouble' with mornings and often misses their shared commitments
Having vented about him on Reddit, the woman, 35, was encouraged by commenters to end the relationshipA woman got into an 'extremely bad' fight with her husband over his penchant for oversleeping, and now she thinks her marriage is 'over.'
The 35-year-old detailed her story on the popular 'Am I the A------?' Reddit forum. In her post, the woman explained that she and her 39-year-old husband have been together for 17 years, and he has 'always had trouble with mornings.'
'He'll set three to four alarms over the course of an hour-and-a-half, usually between 9 to 10 [in the morning], and sleep through all of them. He's super angry when he wakes up, whether I have a part in it or not,' she said, adding that they own a business together and that he will often 'sleep through their shared commitments' if she doesn't wake him up.
The original poster (OP) said that her husband is often 'out tinkering in his shop' — sometimes until 5 a.m. — and drinks many beers while doing so.
Recently, after a 'hard week,' the OP said that she and her husband agreed to spend an upcoming Sunday discussing their business and 'ongoing financial problems.' They planned to start the discussion at 10:30 a.m.
However, the OP said that 10:30 a.m. came and went, and her husband continued to sleep. She finally attempted to wake him at 11:15 a.m. and told him that it seemed as though he was 'avoiding' the things they needed to discuss that day.
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'This turns into a one-hour fight where he tells me that he meant to set his alarm [and] it must not have saved. He also tells me that he is tired and shouldn't have to wake up on a Sunday," she said.
She went on to reveal that 'the fighting got extremely bad' and left her 'sobbing' — so she packed her things and drove five hours to her parents.
'I think my marriage is over, and I keep thinking, 'Am I the a—--- for expecting him to keep his promise to wake up? Or am I just crazy for doing this 1,000-plus times?' ' she said at the end of her post.
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The vast majority of commenters told the woman that she is in no way at fault in the situation — and that she made the right decision to leave.
'NTA [not the a------],' said one person, adding, 'You do not need to be putting up with this treatment. He is the one staying up so late and drinking so he feels like s--- all the time and can't meet his commitments. Why should you accept literally any blame? This dude is not good.'
'NTA … you made a decision together to be up at a certain time on Sunday. He was then upset when you tried to hold him accountable to his commitment,' someone else said.
Another person said, 'NTA. He has a problem that he's not addressing. Whether it is drinking, sleep hygiene, insomnia, planning, or something else, it's his responsibility to manage it. At the very least, he should talk to his doctor.'
The same person added, 'As for leaving, I think you did the right thing. You can drive yourself crazy trying to make someone see logic or your [point of view] when they won't hear you. At some point, the only thing you can do is draw a line and then act in self-preservation. It's up to him to decide if he's going to let this be a wake-up call or not.'
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.
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