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Richard Hogan: Being connected all the time doesn't always help loneliness

Richard Hogan: Being connected all the time doesn't always help loneliness

Irish Examiner3 days ago
A study by the European Commission's Joint Research Centre found that Ireland has the highest rate of loneliness of all European countries.
For such a small country, it is surprising that we should have such a prevalence of loneliness among our population.
There have been a number of studies looking into loneliness. The World Health Organization recently said that teenage girls are the loneliest group in the world, and the Surgeon General in America classified loneliness as a new epidemic.
In this modern world of extreme individuality and technology, something is getting left behind — us.
Of course, you can be alone and feel like you're connected to everything, and then be at a party full of people and experience a profound sense of aching loneliness.
In my experience, loneliness refers to the lack of mattering in your life. If we feel like our social connections are not strong, and that people don't respect us or see us, we can feel incredibly lonely.
Every day, I hear young people tell me, in my clinic, that they feel irrelevant — like they don't even matter. They talk about themselves as if they are minor characters in a play.
The pain this is causing them is difficult to sit with. We must understand what is causing such loneliness.
Ireland has the second youngest population in Europe, with 60% of our population under 45 years of age. The median age in Ireland is 38.8.
These statistics are important if we want to figure out how to do better as a country and develop policies that are loneliness-sensitive.
I am currently carrying out a study into Gen Z, and my data so far has found that they are lonely, not going out socialising as much as previous generations, and are stuck on their phones.
Young men are telling me that they would not go over and chat to a girl they found attractive at a bar, for fear of seeming 'creepy'. A heavy reliance on dating apps has made meeting someone transactional.
If I looked at the following stats, I might swipe left: 'Loves Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, long walks, and doesn't care for cooking.' Yet, we are married and have three beautiful children.
The brutal accuracy with which we are trying to connect with each other does not allow for anyone different or interesting to come into our lives.
I'm seeing this in my research with Gen Z.
Another aspect of this loneliness issue in Ireland is how the Government attempts to address the trend. All the research shows us that loneliness damages both physical and mental health.
It can cause early death, cardiovascular issues, suicidality, depression, anxiety, and sleep disturbance. So, it is in the government's interest to fix this problem — and it should be achievable in such a small country.
The Government's policy of 'social prescribing' involves the provision of non-clinical community services. However, these services help individuals to manage their loneliness but don't deal with the root causes.
Rurality and the lack of transport and infrastructure in low-density areas is another serious issue.
We have people living in rural Ireland who are essentially cut off from their community. If our government is serious about tackling this issue, we need to address it as a matter of urgency.
We know that connecting to our community is vitally important for our health, and yet there are people in rural Ireland unable to go to the local shop because there is absolutely zero transport to bring them there.
I think when we analyse something like loneliness, we immediately think about teenagers and technology, and we forget about people who might be elderly, living in low-density areas, who have only the tramp of the milkman or postman to keep them company.
We must do better by people living in rural Ireland. We must invest in them.
Loneliness is something we all feel from time to time, but there is something happening in Ireland that is causing a profound sense of being alone.
I don't think we spend enough on private and public healthcare. Low expenditure in these domains, research shows, is linked with higher country-level loneliness. We must do better.
I also think we rely too heavily on commercial pathways — such as cafés and shopping malls — for teenagers to connect.
We do not provide them with enough places to go and socialise that are fun and healthy. They quite literally have nowhere to go.
With all this talk about who will be the next President of this great country, we need someone who understands the issues facing Ireland and who is strong enough to try and implement change by engaging with the government and advocating for those who do not have a voice in our society.
I sincerely hope it isn't some fading star looking to have their ego stroked, or a politician who thinks it might be a nice way to end their career. We need someone vibrant and strong, with a deep love for this country and its people.
Rural Ireland is such a beautiful place. It is what makes this country so special. But we have to do better by the people living there, so that they are connected and able to join their community. For such a small country, we are essentially one big community — we should be more connected to each other.
The Government must deliver on their Roadmap for Social Inclusion, but also start to invest in our people so they are not lonely.
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