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'Our maid raised me, now she needs my help, and I don't know where to start' — Redditor asks how he could help former helper
SINGAPORE: For nearly two decades, she was more than just a domestic helper. She was a steady presence, a caretaker, a cook, and a confidante. She raised three children in a household that often treated her poorly. She helped care for an elderly grandmother in her final years. When she left to return to Indonesia eight years ago, she took with her both fond memories and unspoken pain. Now, she wants to come back to Singapore. One of the children she helped raise is trying to return the kindness she once received, despite lingering guilt from years past. A quiet hero in a difficult home A Reddit user, whose name is withheld, shared his story in a heartfelt post that resonated with many. 'My family used to have this helper for about 18 years,' the post begins. 'She was really great, taking care of my siblings and me, and for some years, also my late grandma.' However, not all memories are positive. The poster acknowledged deep regrets over how his mother treated the helper, which damaged his relationship with his parent. 'I've always felt guilty because my mother treated her terribly,' he wrote. 'I had many heated arguments with my mother over her treatment, and we don't have a good relationship now, to say the least.' Notwithstanding the passage of years, the closeness between the former helper and the original poster stayed strong. They have kept in touch, and sporadically, the poster sends money to help—a symbol of gratefulness and perhaps an act of contrition. A humble request and a second chance Recently, the helper reached out with a hopeful request: She wants to return to Singapore to work again. 'She expressed that she'd like to try working in Singapore again as a helper and asked if I could help her,' the post read. 'But I don't know how to help her or where to look.' What followed was an outpouring of advice and support from fellow Redditors. The community steps in Suggestions arrived quickly and warmly. 'Talk to maid agencies, but make sure they don't cheat her,' one commenter advised, citing the harsh reality that many helpers fall victim to fraudulent go-betweens. Others saw opportunities beyond traditional domestic work. 'Maybe you can help sponsor her to take courses so she can come to Singapore and work as a hospice care nurse,' one Redditor suggested. 'This pays better than being a domestic helper.' Another highlighted the helper's unique strengths—a rare skill set that includes fluency in Chinese and some Hokkien, along with excellent cooking and eldercare experience. 'Her skills in Chinese, working with the elderly, and cooking would likely be in demand. Let me know the agency she signs with—I might be looking for someone for my grandma.' One netizen even expressed direct interest: 'Can you DM me? We're looking for a second helper. 40s is okay for us as long as she has good character and attributes.' From redemption to action The responses were more than just helpful; they showed how many families in Singapore are actively looking for compassionate, experienced domestic helpers, especially those who can bridge language and cultural gaps. One commenter offered practical advice: 'Your best bet is to ask around your social circles. If she speaks Chinese, many expat families would love a helper who can practice with their kids. You can also post on mom group sites.' More than a job—a legacy In a way, the poster's journey to help his former helper return to Singapore is about more than just logistics. It's about redemption. It's about someone trying to correct past wrongs. It's about giving back to someone who gave so much, and it's about providing an unsung hero—who once helped raise a family and comfort the dying—with the dignity and opportunity she deserves. Whether through an agency, personal connections, or a new career path in eldercare, the journey ahead may not be easy, but it's clear the former domestic helper won't be walking it alone.
