30-04-2025
‘The Killer Goldfish': The future of cinema, or just indie cosplay?
Anyone stumbling unawares into a screening of 'The Killer Goldfish' at K2, a dinky independent cinema in Tokyo's Shimokitazawa neighborhood, would be forgiven for assuming it's an archetypal midnight movie — one of those schlocky, low-budget productions made for cult infamy rather than commercial success.
Superficially, this loopy tale of murderous pets and esoteric evolutionary theory bears the hallmarks of a true outsider effort, complete with a no-name star and a single-screen theatrical release. But look closer and the figure at the helm isn't some aspiring auteur: It's Yukihiko Tsutsumi, a veteran director whose recent output includes mainstream fare such as 'First Love' (2021) and '12 Suicidal Teens' (2019).
There's nothing wrong with an established filmmaker going back to their roots, of course (as Tsutsumi himself did with black-and-white homelessness drama 'My House' in 2012). However, 'The Killer Goldfish' has a more ambitious goal in mind. It's the first feature produced by Super Sapienss, a project Tsutsumi started with fellow old-timers Katsuyuki Motohiro and Yuichi Sato with the aim of upending the Japanese film industry.
Tired of the ubiquitous 'production committee' system — with its timid preference for movies based on existing properties, starring the same actors you see in everything else — they're proposing an alternative model. Super Sapienss is conceived as a decentralized organization that handles the entire process, from creating original IP to distributing the finished film. ('The Killer Goldfish' has already appeared as an online manga series.)
It's a bold idea, even if the guys seizing control of the means of production are the ones who got us here in the first place. ('Bayside Shakedown', '20th Century Boys,' 'SPEC,' 'Strawberry Night' — need I go on?) Too bad 'The Killer Goldfish' is such a lousy movie.
It does at least deliver on the promise of its title, even if the piscine carnage is all cutaways and bad CGI. There's been a spate of mysterious murders where the victims are mostly middle-aged men. The police are flummoxed, but occult specialist Erika Tamaki (newcomer Erika Oka, game but a bit grating) quickly deduces that the killings are being perpetrated by angry goldfish — and someone else is pulling their fins.
The story quickly branches out to reveal an alternative history of human evolution, in which the Japanese people turn out to be descended from interbreeding between Neanderthals and Homo sapiens. Yosuke Kubozuka pops up as a handsome university professor, who explains how this led to the appearance of people with superhuman powers. Ever wondered what seventh-century mystic En no Gyoja has in common with postwar artist Taro Okamoto? Now you know.
The action is interspersed with bursts of psychedelic animation, clips from a 'Love Island'-style reality TV show and a balaclava-wearing YouTuber who provides a running commentary of sorts. We even get a couple of parkour-inspired action sequences, featuring a teleporting antagonist with an enormous ping-pong ball on his head (played by Kubozuka's son, Airu).
If this sounds like wacky fun, that's because it really should be, yet the outlandish concepts and discordant stylistic flourishes never cohere into an entertaining film. Only a brief appearance by Jiro Sato reaches the heights of sublime ridiculousness 'The Killer Goldfish' seemed to promise. Too often, it feels like Tsutsumi and his collaborators are just flinging ideas at the wall without checking what sticks. Evolution is a messy process, I guess.
