21-05-2025
Spectator Competition: Tubular belles
Competition 3400 invited you to write poems to mark YouTube's 20th birthday. This challenge drew a large, accomplished entry which was both amusing and informative. Alex Steelsmith's double dactylic submission was a strong contender for a place in the winning line-up, as were Bill Greenwell, Mike Morrison, Frank McDonald, David Silverman, Elizabeth Kay and Janine Beacham. But the John Lewis vouchers are awarded to those poems printed below.
I am the very model of a modern-day YouTuberist,
The cornucopia of its gifts creates for me a catalyst,
Since first I saw 'Me at the Zoo' my mood's been irrepressible
And now in all my waking hours I beam up what's accessible:
The medieval manuscripts and cheerful facts historical,
Like who beheaded what's-his-name, for YouTube is my oracle.
And Baby Shark Dance floats my boat, though hardly educational,
While Fenton! Fenton chasing deer will always be sensational.
The music choice is limitless, I fix myself a rendez-vous
With Handel oratorios and then Ed Sheeran's 'Shape of You'.
If anything is on the blink and proving unreliable
A video will show me how to make the damn thing viable.
For twenty years it's been my guide, I've 'liked' and 'shared' religiously
And through my online searching I have watched it grow prodigiously.
I say without a doubt, and my opinion is unprejudiced,
YouTube's the very model for a modern-day YouTuberist.
Sylvia Fairley
