Latest news with #AmITheAsshole
Buzz Feed
10-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Buzz Feed
'My Fiancé's Mum Competes With Me For His Love – Was I Wrong To Call Her Out?'
Don't confuse a mother of boys with a 'boy mum' – a scroll on apps like TikTok will tell you they're not the same. The latter, arguably outdated, term, USA Today explains, has come to refer to a mother who gives preferential treatment to her son over her daughters or other people in her life and may have an 'obsession' with her 'boys' that seems to be related in whole or part to their offspring's gender. The hashtag is used both disparagingly to suggest a mother is centring themselves in their son's life and as an unironic self-identifier in posts like this one: 'A mother is a son's first true love, a son is a mother's last true love.' A viral skit which shows a 'boy mum' insulting their son's partner and attempting to take her place during a prom date highlights what many associate with the worst definitions of the term; 'She's going to wear white to [her daughter-in-law's] wedding day,' a top comment reads. Redditor u/EvelisseBloom seems to feel she's dealing with one such controversial archetype. So, we spoke to licensed sexologist, couples therapist, and author at Sofie Roos, about how to handle the situation. The original poster (OP) called her fiancé's mother out Posting to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here), the Redditor said that her beau's mother invited herslef to her and her fiance's four-year anniversary dinner and showed up in a long, white, wedding-like dress. The mother claimed this was because she 'wanted to feel pretty too,' OP said. The poster added that her would-be mother-in-law cut her off mid-sentence to talk about 'how when he was a baby he'd cry if she left the room and she used to sleep on the floor next to his crib.' She then reportedly turned to her son, stroked his face, and said, 'You'll always be my favourite boy. No one will ever love you like I do.' This outraged the Redditor, who replied: 'Do you hear yourself? You sound obsessed. He's your son, not your boyfriend.' This upset the mother, who said OP didn't understand mother-son bonds. Her fiancé isn't happy with her reaction either. Still, she says, she doesn't feel ready to 'compete with this woman forever' or feel 'second to someone who acts like she's his ex.' The experience can be exhausting Roos tells HuffPost UK that 'A mother who tries to compete with their son's partner is not as uncommon as most people think – and for the ones experiencing it, it's often very emotionally draining.' Though not every expression of motherly affection is a sign of perceived 'competition,' the therapist thinks that sometimes, insisting on the sanctity of a 'mother-son bond' is 'more about controlling, not letting go and not respecting personal boundaries'. 'The first step is to let your partner know how you're feeling and make them understand that this is really tough for you,' Roos continues. After that, they might speak to their parent on your behalf to establish some boundaries; you can also go to them directly and share your concerns. It's important, Roos adds, to consider that a parent might be feeling insecure about their role at transitional times like these. 'The key here is to make the parent understand that you're no threat to their role as a mother; they still are and will be mother to their son, but the role will change and take new directions,' she tells us. 'If you make them understand that you're no threat, it's easier for them to not see you as someone competing with the son's attention.' If all else fails, the therapist adds, try creating hard-and-fast rules like 'limiting what clothing they can wear by having a dress code ot by saying that you want no speeches.' She advises you to insist that if 'They have any ideas, they need to come to you with them beforehand so you can discuss it.'
Buzz Feed
30-04-2025
- Business
- Buzz Feed
"I Ghosted My Friend After She Asked To Split Her Birthday Bill. Was I Unfair?"
A 2024 Thortful report found that 71% of cash-strapped Brits have skipped a friend's birthday party because they simply can't afford it. And with the cozzie livs showing absolutely no signs of relenting in 2025, it doesn't seem like the trend will reverse any time soon. Which makes Redditor u/Quick_Aioli6466 ′s recent post to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here) seem even more unfair. The 30-year-old poster said she felt blindsided by her friend's seemingly self-serving (and misleading) birthday party payment plan. So, we spoke to Dr Pamela Walters, a consultant psychiatrist, about what's fair to ask of your guests financially. The original poster (OP) felt misled The Redditor said that a friend of hers ('Megan'), who owns a restaurant with her partner, 'Dave,' chose to hold her birthday in the couple's 'popular' venue. 'They invited about 40 people' to their restaurant, the woman added. 'They closed the restaurant for the night just for the event... it was a private party with only their intended guests.' At the beginning of the night, OP says Dave raised a toast to Megan and beseeched the guests to order 'whatever you want.' So she and multiple other guests were pretty surprised to receive bills the following day from the business owners, many of which ran into the hundreds. 'Everyone kind of assumed it was being hosted, or at the very least subsidised,' she continued. She reckons the hosting couple profited to the tune of about £3,750, which left her feeling 'icky' and suspicious of a 'cash grab.'
Buzz Feed
30-04-2025
- General
- Buzz Feed
'I Ghosted My Friend After She Asked To Split Her Birthday Bill. Was I Unfair?'
A 2024 Thortful report found that 71% of cash-strapped Brits have skipped a friend's birthday party because they simply can't afford it. And with the cozzie livs showing absolutely no signs of relenting in 2025, it doesn't seem like the trend will reverse any time soon. Which makes Redditor u/Quick_Aioli6466 ′s recent post to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here) seem even more unfair. The 30-year-old poster said she felt blindsided by her friend's seemingly self-serving (and misleading) birthday party payment plan. So, we spoke to Dr Pamela Walters, a consultant psychiatrist, about what's fair to ask of your guests financially.
Buzz Feed
15-03-2025
- Business
- Buzz Feed
This Woman's Rich Boyfriend Said She Was "Lucky" He Loved Her, And The Internet Has THOUGHTS
Finances are already a major source of conflict in many relationships, but add in an income imbalance and a trust fund baby? Whew. Reddit user u/Remarkable_Cow2557 — who I'll call Rem — recently posted about just this in the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit. Here's the full story: "My boyfriend (24, male) and I (24, female) are moving in together in June. We have been together for 3.5 years. I have been in grad school for the past few years, have significant student loan debt, and will not have any steady income until September after I graduate and start my job. I have some money in savings, so I am planning to use that to survive and pay rent for the next few months." "He was trying to be helpful and help me create a budget but kept overstepping and making me feel stupid. I don't think this was his intention, but I felt very frustrated, and I told him to back off as I felt he just couldn't understand. For context, he makes a ton of money, has a trust fund, and a huge inheritance will be coming his way in a few years. He receives from his parents yearly THREE TIMES the amount I am trying to survive on for the next six months. So, financially, we are on different planets. He said something along the lines of: 'You're lucky I love you and am paying more for rent because it's not really equal.' (He is paying 2:1 based on his income, family money, and my debt, which we agreed on)." Rem admitted that she "kind of lost it on him" and said his advice is meaningless because he comes from so much privilege that he just doesn't understand what it's like. Apparently, he "took this the wrong way," storming out and telling her not to speak to him. Well! Lots of comments for this one, as you might imagine. Most people said that Rem is not the A-hole: "'You're lucky' and 'it's not really equal' are not phrases I'd want to hear from my SO. He might want to help you, but he's got a hell of a way of saying and showing it. You're definitely NTA. I'd be concerned, for future reference, that when you ARE able to work, your income still won't match his, and it will continue to be an 'it's not equal' type of relationship. That will be an issue." — u/mrsroperscaftan "I can only imagine how many times that comment is going to be thrown in her face when he's frustrated. OP, pump the brakes on moving in. He's already characterizing you as a burden and a mooch. He will continue to weaponize his financial position over you. That will only get worse. NTA." — u/TieNervous9815 "NTA. I come from privilege, not trust fund privilege, but my rock bottom will always be a bed, which is incredibly privileged. With my partners I've lived with, I have said they can pay what is equitable or what they were paying prior. If they want to do things to improve their life, like classes or hobbies, they could take it out of the rent money and pay less. If a breakup occurs, I let them pay no rent for the month (or two) until they find a place. A lot of people don't understand a financial disparity in a relationship and what that power dynamic can become." "Be careful with anyone who tells you that you should be grateful, especially when it's not something they worked for. He got lucky; he should feel happy to make your life a little lighter by sharing what was shared with him. It is by no merit of his own that he has abundance. TBH, this guy might fall onto my 'eat the rich' list with his behavior." — u/Noble_Hieronymous "'You're lucky I love you' is kind of gross, especially in an unbalanced financial dynamic. Like, get over yourself, pal. Do you really, honestly think your girlfriend is just as special as you are? Because it doesn't sound like it. NTA, OP. Your BF is just being a run-of-the-mill pampered kid who is accustomed to being praised for every semi-intelligent thing that comes out of his mouth. He was angry at you for not looking up to him in gratitude for his tone-deaf analysis and patronizing advice. Hopefully, he sees a more moderate perspective when he cools down." — u/Treefrog_Ninja However, quite a few thought everyone sucked here: "ESH, you more of TA than him. You say he was trying to help and wasn't intending to make you feel stupid. You have resentment that he's wealthy. It's not his fault; it just is. You say he makes good money, so he works and isn't a rich bum. He may be trying to offer you sound advice; often, wealthy people do understand investing because they have money to play with. Telling him he can't possibly understand and to back off is not a productive way to have a conversation. Him saying you're lucky he pays more also isn't helpful since it was what you agreed upon. You need to get the chip off your shoulder." — u/pieville31313 "You guys just have completely different experiences with money, and you're not wrong for your experience but he's also not wrong for having his experience. If his help comes from a loving place, then your response (your very valid response!) needs to also come from a loving place and not a place of insecurity or shame." "Also, the correct response to 'you're lucky I'm paying most of the rent' is 'you're lucky you have the money to do that. Most of our access to money is pure luck and circumstance.' As a fellow poor, I love when rich people act like other people are lucky to know them and their money, and they never think about how incredibly lucky they were to just be born at the right place, LOL. I also have the feeling that, even though he's paying twice as much as you are, it's still a significantly lower percentage of his income than your rent is to you." — u/bigalreads And some people even thought OP was the A-hole in this situation: "You say he has no idea but that he also earns more money and subsides your life. You also have no idea what it's like to financially support a partner who is in debt, has no steady income, and is assuming they'll magically have a job in a few months." — u/AngusLynch09 "YTA. It seems like you resent him for his money... or because he's genuinely trying to help. I never understood why people get so upset by hearing the truth. He's paying 2 to 1; it's an objective fact. Let's say you split it evenly — would you start resenting him more or less? He snapped at you; you snapped at him. It happens. Figure it out, or move on and find someone in a similar financial state if that would make you happier." — u/phatoriginal Have you ever dated someone from a different socioeconomic background? Did it work out, or did you break up? Why? Share your thoughts in the comments below or in this anonymous Google form. Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Buzz Feed
07-03-2025
- Entertainment
- Buzz Feed
This Woman's Mother-In-Law Is Saying She Needs Therapy For Being Upset About A Comment Her Fiancé Made About Her Body, And Here's Why People Are So Upset
Let's get into another juicy Am I The Asshole thread from Reddit. Today, user u/Upstairs_Garden2353 is wondering if she went too far in postponing her wedding. Here's why: So, u/Upstairs_Garden2353 recently explained that she has a noticeable scar on the side of her neck. The scar has been there for over six years, and no one has ever said anything negative to her about now. She shared, "My fiancé would make comments about my scar and make it seem as flirting, for instance, complaining he has kissed every part of my body, except my neck because of the scar, and how the scar 'looked like a kid messed up such a great art' (referring to my look), etc. I told him I didn't appreciate it, even if he was using the scar to be flirty with me, but he insisted he loved me anyway." However, just as the wedding was nearing, u/Upstairs_Garden2353 delayed it. "A few days ago, my fiancé and I and (my future) in-laws were talking about the wedding — about how we're going to finally be married. My fiancé laughed and said, 'I'm marrying you minus the scar.'" As you can imagine, she was taken aback by the comment. "I was stunned when he said that, especially in front of his family. I was upset, so I got up and walked out of the room. We had a big fight and he kept saying I was being a drama queen and that he said 'nothing wrong.'" Then, when u/Upstairs_Garden2353 told her fiancé she wanted to postpone the wedding because of his comment, she said he called her "crazy." Then his mom got involved: "His mom said that I'm obviously 'traumatized' by my scar because I would let it ruin my marriage with her son, and she suggested therapy. She told me that the scar was the issue, not her son, who loves me as I am and chose me to be his wife." Now u/Upstairs_Garden2353 is feeling "horrible" and wondering if she was right in delaying the wedding. "Am I overreacting? My girlfriends have previously said that my fiancé shouldn't even be bringing up the scar like that." Here is what the people of Reddit had to say in response to her question: "NTA. I want to marry you, but my scar does not." — u/NixKlappt-Reddit "The fact that they're making it sound like he's doing you a FAVOR by marrying you even though you have a scar is the HUGEST red flag. Who TF comments on someone's scars like that? For THIS LONG?!" — u/punkinbunz "He got his mom to gaslight you. I bet this isn't his only constant douche move in your relationship..." — u/Cute-Profession9983 "Rather than postpone it, I would call it off. Clearly, you deserve better than this jackass and his family." — u/FloMoJoeBlow "NTA. That's hurtful, disrespectful, and calling attention to something that is very much a part of you in a negative way. When you love someone, you do so not despite the things that make them unique but BECAUSE of those things. I'd venture to say that scar has shaped how you feel about yourself, the world, relationships, etc., and contributed to the woman you are today." — u/AdExpensive1624 "Why is he so OBSESSED with the scar? I would seriously think again about marrying this idiot." — u/Lucky-Effective-1564 "'He loves you anyway?' Fuck that. NTA, but you will be if you marry this sphincter. Dump his ass and his family. You can do SO much better than this shallow, abusive loser. Thank goodness this came to a head before you were legally entangled. In a couple of years, you can refer to this incident when somebody posts one of those 'What's the biggest bullet you ever dodged?' questions on Reddit." — u/onaplinth Well, I think it is unanimous that this guy needs to be dropped. We don't know if u/Upstairs_Garden2353 will cancel the wedding altogether but she did say this: "Thank you for your comments...I feel like he has let me down because he, of all people, shouldn't be commenting on my scar. I thought he meant well, but now? I feel like it's deliberate, but for what purpose? I have no idea."
