Latest news with #AmITheAsshole
Yahoo
23-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Woman offers pregnant sister hundreds of dollars to not use dream baby name
Sometimes, sisters don't want to share everything — especially baby names. In a recent post shared to the popular 'Am I The Asshole?' Reddit forum, a 30-year-old woman questioned if she was in the wrong for asking her sibling, who's about to have a baby, not to use her 'dream baby name.' The woman's sister, 27, is eight months pregnant with a baby girl. The Reddit user explained that while it's her dream to have children, she's not sure if she can carry them due to fertility issues. She was recently talking about baby names with her sister, who 'proudly said they chose' the name Isla for her baby girl because it's 'unique and special.' However, the 30-year-old said that she'd always wanted to name her child Isla, which her sister knew. 'I have been saying this since I was a teenager. Everyone in our family knows this,' she explained. 'So when she told me her name choice, I told her that she cannot use it because it has been my dream name forever. I explained that if she uses it, she will ruin my future experience if I ever get pregnant.' While the pregnant woman laughed at this conversation, she later realized her sister was being serious. The soon-to-be mother then told her older sibling: 'You might never have kids. I am literally about to give birth,' which the Reddit user thought was a 'cruel' comment. The 30-year-old also told her sibling that if she cared about her, she'd pick a different name. But the mother-to-be is firm on naming her child Isla, which has caused a divide between the family. However, the older sibling still wanted the name for her baby one day, so she offered to pay her sister a hefty sum to pick a different moniker. 'My parents think she should keep her name because she is the one having the baby, but some cousins agree with me that it is messed up for her to take the name she knows I have wanted for years,' the post continued. 'I even offered to pay her $500 to pick something else. She said I am being controlling and weird. She posted about it on Facebook, and now I am getting hate from strangers calling me unhinged.' In an update to her post, after receiving a lot of criticism in the comments, the Reddit user doubled down on wanting to keep the baby name for her future child. 'People saying 'you don't own a name' — technically true, but morally, I think family should respect each other's wishes. Second, things have escalated,' she wrote. 'My sister posted screenshots of our private messages on Facebook, calling me 'toxic' and 'controlling,' and now half the family is gossiping.' She said that if her sibling uses the baby name, she wouldn't be there when the soon-to-be-parent has a baby shower or even gives birth. The woman's sister 'laughed in [her] face' about this remark. However, the Reddit user said that she'll still name her daughter Isla, even if her sister uses that name for her soon-to-be-born baby. While the pregnant woman called this 'psychotic,' her older sister 'said it's called consistency.' The 30-year-old added that she's taking the next steps to have a child, explaining she's booked her first IVF consultation. She also noted that her fiancé agrees with her in this situation with her family, and he's even urging her to announce the baby name now on Instagram as one 'reserved for [their] daughter.' Many Reddit users in the comments encouraged the woman to let her pregnant sister use the name Isla for her baby. 'When you get pregnant, find a new, wonderful name you can use. Would I do what your sister did? No. It's hurtful. But you're making yourself look bad by throwing a fit about this,' a stranger wrote. 'Let it go and focus on your own life. When you eventually get pregnant, you'll have a wonderful experience regardless.' 'What your sister said was thoughtless and unkind, but you can't put 'dibs' on a name. Plus, there's nothing to stop you from calling your daughter Isla as well, or maybe changing it to something similar, e.g. Isla-Marie,' another wrote. 'I also think it's poor form that your sister has put it on Facebook. It is something that should be dealt with privately.'
Buzz Feed
10-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Buzz Feed
'My Fiancé's Mum Competes With Me For His Love – Was I Wrong To Call Her Out?'
Don't confuse a mother of boys with a 'boy mum' – a scroll on apps like TikTok will tell you they're not the same. The latter, arguably outdated, term, USA Today explains, has come to refer to a mother who gives preferential treatment to her son over her daughters or other people in her life and may have an 'obsession' with her 'boys' that seems to be related in whole or part to their offspring's gender. The hashtag is used both disparagingly to suggest a mother is centring themselves in their son's life and as an unironic self-identifier in posts like this one: 'A mother is a son's first true love, a son is a mother's last true love.' A viral skit which shows a 'boy mum' insulting their son's partner and attempting to take her place during a prom date highlights what many associate with the worst definitions of the term; 'She's going to wear white to [her daughter-in-law's] wedding day,' a top comment reads. Redditor u/EvelisseBloom seems to feel she's dealing with one such controversial archetype. So, we spoke to licensed sexologist, couples therapist, and author at Sofie Roos, about how to handle the situation. The original poster (OP) called her fiancé's mother out Posting to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here), the Redditor said that her beau's mother invited herslef to her and her fiance's four-year anniversary dinner and showed up in a long, white, wedding-like dress. The mother claimed this was because she 'wanted to feel pretty too,' OP said. The poster added that her would-be mother-in-law cut her off mid-sentence to talk about 'how when he was a baby he'd cry if she left the room and she used to sleep on the floor next to his crib.' She then reportedly turned to her son, stroked his face, and said, 'You'll always be my favourite boy. No one will ever love you like I do.' This outraged the Redditor, who replied: 'Do you hear yourself? You sound obsessed. He's your son, not your boyfriend.' This upset the mother, who said OP didn't understand mother-son bonds. Her fiancé isn't happy with her reaction either. Still, she says, she doesn't feel ready to 'compete with this woman forever' or feel 'second to someone who acts like she's his ex.' The experience can be exhausting Roos tells HuffPost UK that 'A mother who tries to compete with their son's partner is not as uncommon as most people think – and for the ones experiencing it, it's often very emotionally draining.' Though not every expression of motherly affection is a sign of perceived 'competition,' the therapist thinks that sometimes, insisting on the sanctity of a 'mother-son bond' is 'more about controlling, not letting go and not respecting personal boundaries'. 'The first step is to let your partner know how you're feeling and make them understand that this is really tough for you,' Roos continues. After that, they might speak to their parent on your behalf to establish some boundaries; you can also go to them directly and share your concerns. It's important, Roos adds, to consider that a parent might be feeling insecure about their role at transitional times like these. 'The key here is to make the parent understand that you're no threat to their role as a mother; they still are and will be mother to their son, but the role will change and take new directions,' she tells us. 'If you make them understand that you're no threat, it's easier for them to not see you as someone competing with the son's attention.' If all else fails, the therapist adds, try creating hard-and-fast rules like 'limiting what clothing they can wear by having a dress code ot by saying that you want no speeches.' She advises you to insist that if 'They have any ideas, they need to come to you with them beforehand so you can discuss it.'
Buzz Feed
30-04-2025
- Business
- Buzz Feed
"I Ghosted My Friend After She Asked To Split Her Birthday Bill. Was I Unfair?"
A 2024 Thortful report found that 71% of cash-strapped Brits have skipped a friend's birthday party because they simply can't afford it. And with the cozzie livs showing absolutely no signs of relenting in 2025, it doesn't seem like the trend will reverse any time soon. Which makes Redditor u/Quick_Aioli6466 ′s recent post to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here) seem even more unfair. The 30-year-old poster said she felt blindsided by her friend's seemingly self-serving (and misleading) birthday party payment plan. So, we spoke to Dr Pamela Walters, a consultant psychiatrist, about what's fair to ask of your guests financially. The original poster (OP) felt misled The Redditor said that a friend of hers ('Megan'), who owns a restaurant with her partner, 'Dave,' chose to hold her birthday in the couple's 'popular' venue. 'They invited about 40 people' to their restaurant, the woman added. 'They closed the restaurant for the night just for the event... it was a private party with only their intended guests.' At the beginning of the night, OP says Dave raised a toast to Megan and beseeched the guests to order 'whatever you want.' So she and multiple other guests were pretty surprised to receive bills the following day from the business owners, many of which ran into the hundreds. 'Everyone kind of assumed it was being hosted, or at the very least subsidised,' she continued. She reckons the hosting couple profited to the tune of about £3,750, which left her feeling 'icky' and suspicious of a 'cash grab.'
Buzz Feed
30-04-2025
- General
- Buzz Feed
'I Ghosted My Friend After She Asked To Split Her Birthday Bill. Was I Unfair?'
A 2024 Thortful report found that 71% of cash-strapped Brits have skipped a friend's birthday party because they simply can't afford it. And with the cozzie livs showing absolutely no signs of relenting in 2025, it doesn't seem like the trend will reverse any time soon. Which makes Redditor u/Quick_Aioli6466 ′s recent post to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here) seem even more unfair. The 30-year-old poster said she felt blindsided by her friend's seemingly self-serving (and misleading) birthday party payment plan. So, we spoke to Dr Pamela Walters, a consultant psychiatrist, about what's fair to ask of your guests financially.
Buzz Feed
15-03-2025
- Business
- Buzz Feed
This Woman's Rich Boyfriend Said She Was "Lucky" He Loved Her, And The Internet Has THOUGHTS
Finances are already a major source of conflict in many relationships, but add in an income imbalance and a trust fund baby? Whew. Reddit user u/Remarkable_Cow2557 — who I'll call Rem — recently posted about just this in the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit. Here's the full story: "My boyfriend (24, male) and I (24, female) are moving in together in June. We have been together for 3.5 years. I have been in grad school for the past few years, have significant student loan debt, and will not have any steady income until September after I graduate and start my job. I have some money in savings, so I am planning to use that to survive and pay rent for the next few months." "He was trying to be helpful and help me create a budget but kept overstepping and making me feel stupid. I don't think this was his intention, but I felt very frustrated, and I told him to back off as I felt he just couldn't understand. For context, he makes a ton of money, has a trust fund, and a huge inheritance will be coming his way in a few years. He receives from his parents yearly THREE TIMES the amount I am trying to survive on for the next six months. So, financially, we are on different planets. He said something along the lines of: 'You're lucky I love you and am paying more for rent because it's not really equal.' (He is paying 2:1 based on his income, family money, and my debt, which we agreed on)." Rem admitted that she "kind of lost it on him" and said his advice is meaningless because he comes from so much privilege that he just doesn't understand what it's like. Apparently, he "took this the wrong way," storming out and telling her not to speak to him. Well! Lots of comments for this one, as you might imagine. Most people said that Rem is not the A-hole: "'You're lucky' and 'it's not really equal' are not phrases I'd want to hear from my SO. He might want to help you, but he's got a hell of a way of saying and showing it. You're definitely NTA. I'd be concerned, for future reference, that when you ARE able to work, your income still won't match his, and it will continue to be an 'it's not equal' type of relationship. That will be an issue." — u/mrsroperscaftan "I can only imagine how many times that comment is going to be thrown in her face when he's frustrated. OP, pump the brakes on moving in. He's already characterizing you as a burden and a mooch. He will continue to weaponize his financial position over you. That will only get worse. NTA." — u/TieNervous9815 "NTA. I come from privilege, not trust fund privilege, but my rock bottom will always be a bed, which is incredibly privileged. With my partners I've lived with, I have said they can pay what is equitable or what they were paying prior. If they want to do things to improve their life, like classes or hobbies, they could take it out of the rent money and pay less. If a breakup occurs, I let them pay no rent for the month (or two) until they find a place. A lot of people don't understand a financial disparity in a relationship and what that power dynamic can become." "Be careful with anyone who tells you that you should be grateful, especially when it's not something they worked for. He got lucky; he should feel happy to make your life a little lighter by sharing what was shared with him. It is by no merit of his own that he has abundance. TBH, this guy might fall onto my 'eat the rich' list with his behavior." — u/Noble_Hieronymous "'You're lucky I love you' is kind of gross, especially in an unbalanced financial dynamic. Like, get over yourself, pal. Do you really, honestly think your girlfriend is just as special as you are? Because it doesn't sound like it. NTA, OP. Your BF is just being a run-of-the-mill pampered kid who is accustomed to being praised for every semi-intelligent thing that comes out of his mouth. He was angry at you for not looking up to him in gratitude for his tone-deaf analysis and patronizing advice. Hopefully, he sees a more moderate perspective when he cools down." — u/Treefrog_Ninja However, quite a few thought everyone sucked here: "ESH, you more of TA than him. You say he was trying to help and wasn't intending to make you feel stupid. You have resentment that he's wealthy. It's not his fault; it just is. You say he makes good money, so he works and isn't a rich bum. He may be trying to offer you sound advice; often, wealthy people do understand investing because they have money to play with. Telling him he can't possibly understand and to back off is not a productive way to have a conversation. Him saying you're lucky he pays more also isn't helpful since it was what you agreed upon. You need to get the chip off your shoulder." — u/pieville31313 "You guys just have completely different experiences with money, and you're not wrong for your experience but he's also not wrong for having his experience. If his help comes from a loving place, then your response (your very valid response!) needs to also come from a loving place and not a place of insecurity or shame." "Also, the correct response to 'you're lucky I'm paying most of the rent' is 'you're lucky you have the money to do that. Most of our access to money is pure luck and circumstance.' As a fellow poor, I love when rich people act like other people are lucky to know them and their money, and they never think about how incredibly lucky they were to just be born at the right place, LOL. I also have the feeling that, even though he's paying twice as much as you are, it's still a significantly lower percentage of his income than your rent is to you." — u/bigalreads And some people even thought OP was the A-hole in this situation: "You say he has no idea but that he also earns more money and subsides your life. You also have no idea what it's like to financially support a partner who is in debt, has no steady income, and is assuming they'll magically have a job in a few months." — u/AngusLynch09 "YTA. It seems like you resent him for his money... or because he's genuinely trying to help. I never understood why people get so upset by hearing the truth. He's paying 2 to 1; it's an objective fact. Let's say you split it evenly — would you start resenting him more or less? He snapped at you; you snapped at him. It happens. Figure it out, or move on and find someone in a similar financial state if that would make you happier." — u/phatoriginal Have you ever dated someone from a different socioeconomic background? Did it work out, or did you break up? Why? Share your thoughts in the comments below or in this anonymous Google form. Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
