Latest news with #AnnieDuke
Forbes
a day ago
- General
- Forbes
5 Tips For When It Is Time To Quit
HAMBURG, GERMANY - NOVEMBER 10: A Team of nine women and one man set a world record of the longest ... More distance running in high heels on a treadmill in thirty minutes at Holmes Place on November 10, 2014 in Hamburg, Germany. (Photo by) Last fall, I attended a workshop and spotted a young woman wearing the most beautiful shawl. I asked her where she got it and she said, 'I made it myself.' When I asked her if I could pay her to make me one, she replied, 'It took me about 250 hours. It would be very expensive plus the materials.' She inspired me to take a lesson at a local craft store. After attending an initial 90-minute lesson, the instructor sent the class on our way to finish our scarves. Since I knew I was making mistakes, I returned to the store twice to have them set me straight and get me on the right track. But I didn't want to make a scarf. I wanted to make sweaters and shawls! A few weeks later I was having coffee with a friend in her 60s who showed me a photo of the sweater she made for her granddaughter. It was lovely. She told me she has been knitting since she learned at age eight. I told her my knitting story and realized, 'I don't have time to learn how to knit.' Knowing When To Walk Away It gave me peace to realize I don't have time to learn how to knit sweaters. I was reminded of the book 'Quit: The Power of Knowing When To Walk Away,' by Annie Duke, a former professional poker player. She talks at length about how society rewards being persistent and staying with something rather than quitting. Quitters are considered losers. Duke explains that we can reframe quitting as an opportunity to better use our time, energy, and focus. When we do so, we have the permission to move onto something else. Duke said she wrote 'Quit' because 'I think that the stopping things part of the equation is very neglected.' In contrast, Angela Duckworth wrote a popular book called 'Grit: The Passion and Power of argues in her book, 'Success is less about talent and more about a combination of passion and perseverance.' She calls this combination grit. Duckworth encourages readers to cultivate long-term dedication to their goals, overcome setbacks, and maintain a growth mindset to achieve excellence. The most important lesson from 'Grit' for me was the emphasis on having a growth mindset. Duckworth distinguishes between a growth mindset, which is focused on improving versus a fixed mindset focused on proving yourself and not making mistakes. Having a growth mindset is about improving yourself yet accepting those aspects that no longer serve you. But I decided my life runway is too short to learn how to knit sweaters. I was not enjoying the process – mainly because it was going to take me too long to learn the skills needed to accomplish my goal. Since I have other hobbies where I can apply a growth mindset such as photography, I could spend more time learning and improving. In fact, I signed up for a photography tour in Guatemala next fall. This allows me to use my equipment, practice my Spanish, and travel to a place that has been on my wish list for a long time. As Duke would say, stopping learning how to knit gives me an opportunity to better use my time and energy. Tips For Quitting The Right Things/How To Quit Like A Pro So I am not going to be a knitter. And I don't feel like a quitter. The key lessons from Duke's book reminds me: Carol Orsborn, a writer and expert on aging, tends to focus on wisdom, balance, and meaning rather than traditional notions of productivity. Her work often challenges the idea that productivity is about efficiency and output. Instead, she emphasizes the importance of intuition, personal fulfillment, and integrating work with a deeper sense of purpose—especially as people age. Orsborn encourages people to shift from a purely goal-oriented mindset to one that values reflection, life experience, and authenticity. She suggests that true productivity isn't just about doing more but about doing what truly matters. What are you doing now that does not bring you joy? What do you enjoy that you would like to spend more time doing? Now might be time to be a quitter!
Observer
3 days ago
- General
- Observer
The psychology of decision-making
A friend recently shared with me his experience helping his son make a critical decision: choosing a wife. The young man, after not meeting the woman of his dreams on his own, decided to consult his parents to recommend a future wife for him. He gave this mother a short list of preferences — age, employment and general lifestyle compatibility. The parents, while preferring that their son take full ownership of such a life-altering choice, were mindful that such a decision can be challenging, especially when the young man kept talking about the failed marriages of his friends. This situation reminded me of a book titled 'How to Decide' by Annie Duke. The author argues that most people don't have a specific method for making decisions; some simply go with their gut feeling, or use a pros and cons list, to decide on something. In reality, emotional decisions — like marriage — require both structure and self-awareness. One of the book's key messages is that every decision has a range of possible outcomes, such as good, bad, ugly, or anything in between. However, our perception of how that outcome was achieved changes in retrospect, so we often mistake a good outcome for a good decision. This is called 'resulting', which assumes that success means we chose well and failure means we didn't. But in reality, a thoughtful decision can lead to a poor outcome due to factors beyond our control, just as a reckless decision can, by chance, work out well. The young man's fear made him focus on failed relationships he'd seen, forgetting that those outcomes didn't necessarily mean the decisions behind them were wrong. Another important point the author emphasises is that uncertainty is part of every major decision. Rather than waiting for perfect clarity, which may never come, we must gather what information we can, define our values and then make the best choice possible under the circumstances. The young man had already taken a helpful step by listing his priorities. The next step is to rank them: Which qualities are essential and which are negotiable? What would he be willing to compromise on if other values were strongly met? The book also encourages the use of a 'decision group' — a small, trusted circle that can provide input, challenge assumptions and prevent emotional bias. The young man's parents acted in this capacity. Their role wasn't to decide for him, but to reflect back his own thoughts, provide perspective and help him avoid the trap of letting fear take charge of his life. Finally, the book reminds us that the best decisions don't promise certainty; they simply improve our odds. By thinking clearly, reflecting honestly and consulting wisely, we set ourselves up not for perfection, but for resilience, so we can live with our choices, regardless of the consequences. In my opinion, whether you are choosing a spouse, a job, or a new path in life, you will not be able to eliminate risks, but you can improve how you navigate them. And that, more than anything, is the mark of a wise decision-maker.
