Latest news with #Beano
The Herald Scotland
18-07-2025
- Entertainment
- The Herald Scotland
Meet the thriller writer who thought he was in a Beano adventure
The other day he was on a train when he assumed that he had slipped into an alternative reality; one governed by the rules of children's comic books. Liam concluded that he must be starring in an anarchic Bash Street Kids strip in the Beano, after he thought he heard over the Tannoy: 'Please be advised that peashooters are not permitted on trains.' Being a master of mystery fiction, he quickly solved the curious comic conundrum. 'Peashooters?' mused Liam. 'E-scooters!' Goldfish variations The Diary mentioned that most awe-inspiring of ferocious beasties, notorious for its starring role in a Spielberg movie… And, no, we weren't discussing E.T. We were talking about the great white shark, that toothy tearaway who picnicked on people in Jaws. Reader Chris Hanley proudly boasts that he's not intimidated by great whites. 'I looked them up in the dictionary,' he says, 'and was disappointed to discover that they're members of a species called the 'mackerel shark'. 'So it's just a mackerel, I thought. That's not much scarier than being chased through the salty brine by an oversize goldfish.' 'I was sort of hoping it was going to be champagne,' says ever-optimistic reader Chris Robertson (Image: Contributed) Roll with it Edinburgh-based stand-up comedian Jo Caulfield has been answering a questionnaire which asked: 'Which single battle do you think changed the course of history the most?' Most people would probably suggest the Battle of Hastings, Bannockburn, Agincourt or Waterloo. That's not the conclusion Jo arrives at, for she authoritatively says: 'Blur versus Oasis, AD 1995.' Blockhead Our correspondents are the fittest newspaper perusers in the land, possibly even the world. That's why we're not surprised when Grant Robertson from Falkirk announces: 'I got up this morning and ran around the block five times. Then I got tired, so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box.' Art attack The Diary has been praising the colourful mural of TV's Still Game gang that recently materialised on Paisley Road West. Alas, as we pointed out, not everyone is a fan of the image. On social media one harsh art critic states: 'To be fair, it looks not bad from a distance. If the distance is Paisley.' Another person has this pithy response: 'Game over.' Burnt offering Culinary expert Rose Bayley gets in touch with us to point out: 'Forgetting that you left Alphabetti Spaghetti on the stove could spell disaster.'
Irish Times
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Irish Times
Censorship was comical
Sir,– I was eight years old and it was 1954. The year that Seán Ó Faoláin was commenting on the powers that were and their criticism of crossroads dancing, V-necks, silk stockings and late dances. To this list of debauchery was added mixed bathing and advertisements for female underwear. And either close dancing or bikinis was a passport to hell. One Sunday my mother arrived home from first Mass, in Lacken, with news. READ MORE The curate, in a stentorian voice, had warned the congregation against 'turning over the pages of the rags of Fleet Street'. Despite her less than perfect eyesight my poor mother managed to decipher the small print on the back pages of my Beano and Dandy which showed that they were printed at DC Thompson's outpost in Fleet Street. Dennis the Menace and The Bash Street Kids weren't actually banned from the house but my father reckoned it was 'the thin end of the wedge'. My parents were unanimous in their belief that the relatively young curate was well qualified to set the moral compass for the youth of west Wicklow. And why wouldn't he; wasn't his father a guard in Bray? – Yours, etc, MATTIE LENNON, Blessington, Co Wicklow.
Wales Online
11-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Wales Online
Punctuation joke wins Beano competition
Punctuation joke wins Beano competition Youngsters from Year 5 at Riverley Primary School in Leyton, London, won the accolade, with their joke A joke about punctuation has been chosen as the funniest in a competition run by the Beano comic. Youngsters from Year 5 at Riverley Primary School in Leyton, London, won the accolade, with their joke: What do you call the fanciest punctuation? An a-posh-trophe. Their class teacher, Maisha Mahfuza, was also named Britain's Funniest teacher. The winners will be featured in this week's 4,290th edition of the Beano, drawn by renowned artist Nigel Parkinson A panel of the comic's expert gag makers narrowed down the wittiest submissions to their favourite 10 finalists, before handing the final decision to a public vote. Mike Stirling, director of mischief at the Beano, said: "As the only comic where kids are in charge, Beano continues to celebrate childhood in all its mischievous, screen-free glory. Article continues below "This annual competition is just one way Beano will power summer with pure fun, spotlighting the next generation of comedy geniuses. "This perfectly crafted joke is creative, mischievous and 100% funny. It had us laughing out loud." Ms Mahfuza said: "Seeing our class and joke featured in Beano was surreal. Britain's Funniest Class competition is a fantastic way to spark laughter, boost creativity and build confidence in children. Article continues below "Learning should always come with a healthy dose of fun, and how many people can say they've spread a good giggle beyond the classroom to the whole nation?" The winning school will receive the official Beano "Britain's Funniest Class" trophy, Gnasher Badges, and comic subscriptions for the whole class. Other jokes in the top 10 included: What's the cleverest school dinner? Maths potato; Why did the shark have stomachache? Because it ate a school dinner; What's the difference between Dennis and Gnasher? Dennis wears shorts and Gnasher pants; What's the opposite of a Dandelion? A BeanoTiger; and Why did the chicken cross the road? Be-CAAWWW-se.
The Herald Scotland
11-06-2025
- Entertainment
- The Herald Scotland
Beano names funniest joke as primary school hits the mark
Their class teacher, Maisha Mahfuza, was also named Britain's Funniest teacher. The winners will be featured in this week's 4,290th edition of the Beano, drawn by renowned artist Nigel Parkinson. Read More: A panel of the comic's expert gag makers narrowed down the wittiest submissions to their favourite 10 finalists, before handing the final decision to a public vote. Mike Stirling, director of mischief at the Beano, said: 'As the only comic where kids are in charge, Beano continues to celebrate childhood in all its mischievous, screen-free glory. 'This annual competition is just one way Beano will power summer with pure fun, spotlighting the next generation of comedy geniuses. 'This perfectly crafted joke is creative, mischievous and 100% funny. It had us laughing out loud.' Ms Mahfuza said: 'Seeing our class and joke featured in Beano was surreal. Britain's Funniest Class competition is a fantastic way to spark laughter, boost creativity and build confidence in children. 'Learning should always come with a healthy dose of fun, and how many people can say they've spread a good giggle beyond the classroom to the whole nation?' The winning school will receive the official Beano 'Britain's Funniest Class' trophy, Gnasher Badges, and comic subscriptions for the whole class. Other jokes in the top 10 included: What's the cleverest school dinner? Maths potato Why did the shark have stomach ache? Because it ate a school dinner What's the difference between Dennis and Gnasher? Dennis wears shorts and Gnasher pants What's the opposite of a Dandelion? A BeanoTiger Why did the chicken cross the road? Be-CAAWWW-se.
STV News
11-06-2025
- Entertainment
- STV News
Punctuation joke wins Beano competition
A joke about punctuation has been chosen as the funniest in a competition run by the Beano comic. Youngsters from Year 5 at Riverley Primary School in Leyton, London, won the accolade, with their joke: What do you call the fanciest punctuation? An a-posh-trophe. Their class teacher, Maisha Mahfuza, was also named Britain's Funniest teacher. The winners will be featured in this week's 4,290th edition of the Beano, drawn by renowned artist Nigel Parkinson A panel of the comic's expert gag makers narrowed down the wittiest submissions to their favourite 10 finalists, before handing the final decision to a public vote. Mike Stirling, director of mischief at the Beano, said: 'As the only comic where kids are in charge, Beano continues to celebrate childhood in all its mischievous, screen-free glory. 'This annual competition is just one way Beano will power summer with pure fun, spotlighting the next generation of comedy geniuses. 'This perfectly crafted joke is creative, mischievous and 100% funny. It had us laughing out loud.' Ms Mahfuza said: 'Seeing our class and joke featured in Beano was surreal. Britain's Funniest Class competition is a fantastic way to spark laughter, boost creativity and build confidence in children. 'Learning should always come with a healthy dose of fun, and how many people can say they've spread a good giggle beyond the classroom to the whole nation?' The winning school will receive the official Beano 'Britain's Funniest Class' trophy, Gnasher Badges, and comic subscriptions for the whole class. Other jokes in the top 10 included: What's the cleverest school dinner? Maths potato; Why did the shark have stomachache? Because it ate a school dinner; What's the difference between Dennis and Gnasher? Dennis wears shorts and Gnasher pants; What's the opposite of a Dandelion? A BeanoTiger; and Why did the chicken cross the road? Be-CAAWWW-se. Get all the latest news from around the country Follow STV News Scan the QR code on your mobile device for all the latest news from around the country
