Meet the thriller writer who thought he was in a Beano adventure
Liam concluded that he must be starring in an anarchic Bash Street Kids strip in the Beano, after he thought he heard over the Tannoy: 'Please be advised that peashooters are not permitted on trains.'
Being a master of mystery fiction, he quickly solved the curious comic conundrum.
'Peashooters?' mused Liam. 'E-scooters!'
Goldfish variations
The Diary mentioned that most awe-inspiring of ferocious beasties, notorious for its starring role in a Spielberg movie…
And, no, we weren't discussing E.T.
We were talking about the great white shark, that toothy tearaway who picnicked on people in Jaws.
Reader Chris Hanley proudly boasts that he's not intimidated by great whites.
'I looked them up in the dictionary,' he says, 'and was disappointed to discover that they're members of a species called the 'mackerel shark'.
'So it's just a mackerel, I thought. That's not much scarier than being chased through the salty brine by an oversize goldfish.'
'I was sort of hoping it was going to be champagne,' says ever-optimistic reader Chris Robertson (Image: Contributed) Roll with it
Edinburgh-based stand-up comedian Jo Caulfield has been answering a questionnaire which asked: 'Which single battle do you think changed the course of history the most?'
Most people would probably suggest the Battle of Hastings, Bannockburn, Agincourt or Waterloo.
That's not the conclusion Jo arrives at, for she authoritatively says: 'Blur versus Oasis, AD 1995.'
Blockhead
Our correspondents are the fittest newspaper perusers in the land, possibly even the world.
That's why we're not surprised when Grant Robertson from Falkirk announces: 'I got up this morning and ran around the block five times. Then I got tired, so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box.'
Art attack
The Diary has been praising the colourful mural of TV's Still Game gang that recently materialised on Paisley Road West.
Alas, as we pointed out, not everyone is a fan of the image.
On social media one harsh art critic states: 'To be fair, it looks not bad from a distance. If the distance is Paisley.'
Another person has this pithy response: 'Game over.'
Burnt offering
Culinary expert Rose Bayley gets in touch with us to point out: 'Forgetting that you left Alphabetti Spaghetti on the stove could spell disaster.'
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Daily Mail
35 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Jennifer Ellison reveals her dance studio in Liverpool has been broken into and her kids possessions have been stolen as she shares CCTV footage and offers cash reward
Jennifer Ellison has revealed her dance studio in Liverpool has been broken into, and many of her kids possessions have been stolen. The actress, 42, told her Instagram followers that her kids' iPads and bikes had been taken, along with laptops and other belongings. Jennifer shared CCTV footage of the male suspect, who broke in at 5am on Wednesday morning, and she has urged anyone with information to come forward. Jennifer wrote: 'Tell me who this rat is and where he is and I'll give you a huge cash reward!!! Broke into our studios at 5am took all my kids bikes laptops, iPad everything the RAT!' Jennifer later shared an update with her followers, and thanked one man who managed to get one of the stolen bikes back. MailOnline has contacted Jennifer's representatives for comment. Jennifer shared CCTV footage of the male suspect, who broke in at 5am on Wednesday morning, and she has urged anyone with information to come forward After stepping away from TV work, Jennifer opened her dance school, Jelli Studios. The studios has launched the careers of BGT success stories Boogie Storm and The Greatest Dancer. The website claims 'Jelli Studios provides elite intense Dance and Musical Theatre training for those wanting a long successful career in the Professional Industry of Performing Arts.' The former soap star has been married to her husband Rob Tickle for 15 years after tying the knot in October 2009. The couple share three sons. Jennifer and boxer Rob began dating in May 2008, and were engaged in October of that year while on holiday in the Maldives. The following year they were married, with the ceremony being performed in Mauritius on 10 October 2009. The couple, who live in Liverpool, share sons Bobby, 16, Harry, 12, and Charlie, 11. Jennifer also has two stepdaughters, Chloe and Sophie. Jennifer's youth was anything but peaceful, after she became involved with a Liverpool gangster named Anthony Richardson who was later jailed for a vicious sword attack. During her relationship with Tony, Jennifer feared for her life on more than one occasion, including one time when she was forced off the road by a rival gang. Jennifer explained how she was living 'parallel lives' during her early fame as a star of Liverpool-based Brookside, while also dating Tony, who was linked to criminal underworld figures. Years after being beaten and abused by her ex-boyfriend, Jennifer revealed she has finally come to terms with her violent past and is grateful that she managed to escape a life which saw her home shot at. The Liverpool native now typically stays out of the spotlight, but did make a TV appearance in 2022 where she appeared on Celebrity SAS: Who Dares wins. Jennifer described it as the 'best therapy ever' as she came to terms with her past relationship during her experience on the programme. The actress met Tony when she was 16, they got together a year later and within 12 months they were engaged. Back in the late 90's at the height of her fame - Jennifer was dragged into the criminal underworld in her hometown of Liverpool. She found herself witness to violent incidents from fire-bombings to drive-by shootings and confessed that her cheating fiancé battered her during their six-year relationship. Tony was later jailed for eight years in 2011 after being convicted of a sword attack in Liverpool. During an episode of the Channel 4 hit - Jennifer broke down to Commando Jason 'Foxy' Fox admitting her life with Tony left her feeling worthless. The actress met Tony when she was 16, they got together a year later and within 12 months they were engaged (pictured in 2005) Reflecting on her traumatic past Jennifer told The Mirror: 'It was a volatile relationship and he was connected with this other world, this gangland world. 'For years and years I thought that life was normal and bad things like that happened to everyone because it happened in the world I was in. I was having nails in my letter box, going into hiding and fearing for your life walking down the street. That's not normal. 'I look back and think how it was so traumatic. It was so horrific what I was going through. I was such a young girl, I was a baby. 'I feel like opening up in the mirror room about that has put that part of my life to bed. It was like the best therapy session ever.' She described the experience as 'crazy' and it 'takes over your whole body.' She admitted she was left 'in awe' as she battled through the emotions and changed for the better while crediting the show for building her back up again. The relationship ended when Jennifer discovered Tony was cheating on her with John Terry's ex-girlfriend Shalimar Wimble, which she describes as her 'get out of jail free card'. Jennifer believes she has been left with PTSD after the traumatic seven years she spent with Tony, but is grateful for her life now.
BBC News
an hour ago
- BBC News
Oasis pics: 'The beauty and complexity of sibling relationships'
Photos of Liam and Noel Gallagher in the 1990s have gone on show in an open-air display in Wembley than 20 images have been installed in the north-west London location, including opposite Wembley Stadium and the OVO Arena Wembley - venues the Gallaghers have headlined throughout their Friday, the brothers are performing seven sold-out concerts at the stadium for the Oasis Live '25 reunion tour, which marks the end of an almost 16-year split between the Giambrone, who curated the show, said the photographs "reveal moments of humour, tension, closeness and trust", rather than "the usual narrative of conflict". Mr Giambrone added: "We hope the exhibition speaks not just to Oasis fans, but to anyone who understands the beauty and complexity of sibling relationships."The photographs were taken by British music photographer Kevin Cummins in 1994, before the release of their debut album Definitely became the biggest band in Britain between 1994 and 1997, and sold tens of millions of copies of their first three albums Definitely Maybe, (What's The Story) Morning Glory and Be Here exhibition features images from the band's first studio session at Sly Street Studio in February 1994, with Liam in a vintage jumper and Adidas tracksuit trousers. Other shots capture Noel alone in Amsterdam after the rest of the band was deported for fighting Chelsea fans on a ferry; and the Gallaghers leaping onto the back of a No.73 bus in central London. Cummins said that when Morning Glory was released in 1995, "we were all living in Oasis world". He added: "In every bar, shop, restaurant, football stadium, even the sound floating down the street through open windows, this album was the soundtrack to Britain for at least six months. "Here we are - back in Oasis world again."The exhibition is part of the Wembley Park Art Trail, which features large-scale works including the Swiftie Steps, a tribute to Taylor Swift; a mural dedicated to Lana Del Rey; and the Square of Fame, featuring the handprints of artists including Madonna, George Michael, The Who, Bryan Adams, Kylie Minogue and Dolly exhibition is free and runs until 30 September.
The Guardian
an hour ago
- The Guardian
Australian actor Rebel Wilson sued by production company behind her own film
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