5 days ago
People Who Dated Bad Boy Or Girl Share How They Changed
From Romeo & Juliet to Grease, dating the "bad" boy or girl has been seen as a rite of passage for young people for centuries. However, as these "rebels" mature, they sometimes become very different from the people they were as teenagers...
That's why, when I recently decided to ask members of the BuzzFeed Community who dated their high school's "bad boy" or "bad girl," to tell me how that person turned out as an adult, I received many comments that ranged from heartwarming to "What the hell?" Without further ado, here are 21 of their most enlightening responses:
"I was 17 when I became friends with the 19-year-old bad boy, whom I'll call 'Jesse', right after high school. He had been on his own since he was 15 and had a past history of stealing to make ends meet. He would also regularly get into fights, didn't have a license or a phone, lived in a camper in someone's backyard, and went from job to job. His only real prospect was being in a rock band."
"Around the time we became friends, I was privately struggling in an emotionally abusive three-year relationship with my boyfriend, whom I'll call 'Kyle.' Kyle was the epitome of a 'good guy' — charming, handsome, rich, and generally well-liked by Jesse. Jesse was the only person who saw through Kyle's 'nice guy' facade, and he made his opinions known. I was defensive and decided that Jesse must have feelings for me and was trying to drive Kyle and me apart, so I ended my friendship with him. But his opinions on Kyle bothered me for weeks because they were completely accurate. This eventually gave me the courage to break up with Kyle."
"I found my way back to Jesse about a month later and thought dating a bad boy for the summer might be a fun rebound. I'd hang out with him and his band, drink alcohol for the first time, and let his wild energy rub off on me. That wild summer turned into a wild year and then another. Thirteen years later, we're happily married."
"My husband of 27 years was the motorcycle riding, chain on the wallet wearing, anti-establishment punk in high school. I was the Bible-toting, prayer-group leading, honors student. He told me he was going to marry me the first week I met him in the middle of tenth grade."
"In high school, I briefly dated a girl known for shenanigans that usually resulted in her being suspended from school. They were all harmless pranks, but I suspect they were a nuisance for teachers or anyone with ears sensitive to creative swearing."
"Started dating a super cool guy who was three years older than me when I was a senior. I had known him prior, but our relationship was never romantic or inappropriate. We got married shortly after I graduated, and I got pregnant. We split up before I gave birth, as he had become addicted to drugs. His family was always very helpful with our daughter."
"He eventually became sober, and we not only co-parent beautifully, but we get along great. I adore his wife and his other child. He's even helped me move three times over the years. He's a great guy. We now share a grandson, as been so long since we were a couple that we almost think of each other like siblings at this point, weird as that sounds."—Anonymous
"The 'bad boy' I dated is now in a Christian rock band, proselytizing on social media about how God hates immigrants and members of the LGBTQ+ community. He claims to know what God thinks about the issues, because he and God are 'so tight.' I definitely dodged that bullet."
"We casually dated for four months, and it was wild, hot, heavy, and intense, yet sweet and romantic too. He was covered in tattoos from his ankles to his neckline."
"I started dating the 'bad boy' (he was 18 and I was 17) during my senior year of high school when he offered to give me guitar lessons in exchange for me teaching him how to play the piano. Unbeknownst to me at the time, he was on probation for underage drinking and doing community service. (He also did many other questionable things before we met, but was never caught)."
"He was really sweet to me at the beginning, but as our relationship continued, his true colors began to emerge. He had a terrible temper, so much so that he once threw a half-empty soda bottle that hit me in the ribs. That was the moment I decided to end our relationship and go 'no contact.'During our relationship, I always told him that if he didn't learn to control his temper and not fly into rages, he would be dead by the time he was 40. Sadly, I heard that he died from a heart attack two weeks before his fortieth I was in college, I went in the complete opposite direction and began dating a cop whom I've been happily married to for 26 years, and he and I have a 20-year-old daughter. (I never learned how to play guitar, though.)"—Anonymous, 45
"I went to high school with the typical rebel teen boy. He cut class, sold weed, was very intelligent, and in all the honors classes, but barely graduated due to poor attendance and grades. After graduation, we didn't talk or see each other because we barely talked at school."
"The 'bad boy' was a terrible (and annoying) person. He was known for stealing, cheating, breaking hearts, and spitting gum at the teachers. In high school, he got a girl pregnant, refused to deal with it, and forced her to get an abortion."
"I married him. We met on a blind date when we were 15, but it didn't work out. We met again when we were 16/17 at a house party. Everyone was drinking, but I wasn't because I was on medication for seizures, so I basically sat in a corner wondering why I was even there."
"I married my bad boy. I met him just after high school. He was spontaneous, edgy, and got me outside my cautious comfort zone. We were very random and impulsive together, but all that changed when I had his kids."
"I have no idea what my 'bad boy' is up to these days. But while we were dating, he got my then-friend pregnant, and I broke up with him. I left town and pursued my dreams, but she got stuck there with the kid. Last I heard, she was finally getting her life on track, and he had left."
"Mine was addicted to alcohol and drugs when I met him. He was also annoying, reckless, and partied a lot, so I don't know what attracted me to him in the first place. We had an intense time, but it didn't work out because he couldn't commit to me."
"I went to the prom with the 'bad boy' when I was a freshman and he was a junior. My parents were pretty overprotective because of his history (the year before I met him, he stole a friend's car and took a joyride several states away). Anyway, when the school year ended, so did our relationship."
"We dated at 14 and again at 17. He had the reputation of a rebel, hung out with a crowd that got into trouble, and was even voted 'Class Rebel' senior year. But he wasn't a malicious person and got along with everyone. He was more of a 'wrong place at the wrong time' type of guy."
"My husband of 20 years was a certified bad boy. We didn't meet until after high school, but I've heard the stories about him running dice games in the halls, dealing in the parking lot, breaking into houses, and engaging in other behaviors that resulted in a few trips to rehab. After high school, it only got worse, and his run-ins with the justice system were very serious."
"By the time we met in our early 20s, he had been indicted and was awaiting trial and sentencing. Somehow, he was only sentenced to house arrest and thing about him is that he's never been a bad person, just a kid who made lots of ill-advised choices. He's incredible, and all of those experiences made him interesting and wildly empathetic."—Anonymous
"It hasn't been that long since we graduated, but I had a thing with the 'bad boy' new kid my senior year — weed, street racing, etc. He was kicked out of his house at 17. He always had to be in a relationship, and he'd cling to that person like his life depended on it, then completely shut them out without warning (me included)."
"I dated the 'bad boy' in high school— the one all my friends tried to warn me about. He was well known for using drugs, partying, and being with a lot of girls. He had also been arrested shortly before I met him."
"He wasn't exactly a 'bad boy' like a delinquent, but he was the class clown: We hit it off in middle school for a while until life started getting bad for me. He later went on to bully me because I had a low social status in the community and was showing signs of poverty at school. I had also developed a disability that affected my education, and he, along with his friends, bullied me to the point where I almost committed self-harm."
"He's a doctor now and is either engaged or married to a woman who resembles me (apparently he has a type), but she clearly takes better care of herself (fake tan, veneers, etc.) I'm now a disabled substitute teacher and married mother of two."—[deleted]
"I was convinced I was in love with him when we were in tenth grade, but my parents HATED him. We reconnected when I was in college, until one night when he left me a voicemail filled with vitriol because he couldn't reach me while I was out for a girls' night. That was enough for me, so I dropped him."
"I guess my high school 'bad' boy experience could be considered as the typical relationship of a good girl and a bad boy in reverse order, as he became the 'bad' version of himself after we broke up."
"There was always the potential threat of his environment causing him to steer in the wrong direction at any time; overcoming that early on seemed like the start of a successful journey to something positive, despite all that was against we broke up, he took it horribly, and I felt awful about it. Eventually, he rose above his anger and resentment by dating a girl I'd gone to school with since pre-k. Once they had established their commitment to each other, I thought nothing more of it and was happy for them both."
"Then a few years later, someone asked me when I'd seen him last. I couldn't remember. They proceeded to describe to me in vivid detail and with incredible accuracy a person I would no longer recognize if he'd walked up and spit in my face."
Did any of these stories surprise you? If you dated your high school's "bad" boy or girl, tell us how they turned out it in the comments or using the anonymous form below!
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, you can call SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) and find more resources here.
