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CNA
2 days ago
- Health
- CNA
A mother endured harrowing hallucinations due to postpartum psychosis – and says it was worth it for her child
Rainie Ang always knew she wanted to be a mother. She just never expected her motherhood journey to start so traumatically. Married at the age of 31, Ang took two years to conceive, undergoing fertility tests, using ovulation kits and taking Traditional Chinese Medicine. In September 2024, she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. 'I was overjoyed. I spent my days in hospital cuddling with him and watching him having hiccups,' she smiled. These tender beginnings were abruptly hijacked. After discharge, Ang quickly fell into a babycare and breastmilk-pumping routine. Unable to fall back to sleep, she clocked one to two hours of shuteye each night. Then, on the sixth day after giving birth, her world started to unravel. 'I felt like I was living outside of reality, in another dimension. It was as if this world that I'm living in is not real,' she told CNA Women. Once a happy-go-lucky person, she suddenly struggled to even make the most basic decisions, such as what time to bathe and how to have her confinement meals. 'I was having fishball beehoon and was given a fork-spoon, and chopsticks. I couldn't even make a decision on which one to use. I felt very confused,' she said. She asked her best friend – also a mum – if she had experienced anything similar. She hadn't. She told her mother-in-law about it and was advised to get more rest. But Ang simply couldn't. 'No matter how tired I was, I couldn't sleep at all,' she said. In this disoriented state, she continued her babycare routine the next day. 'I had zero supply of breast milk, but I had been educated that breast milk is better for the baby. So I was pumping every three hours. That afternoon, I pumped for 30 minutes and set a pretty high intensity because I wanted to try my best to produce something,' she recalled. The next thing Ang remembered, she was crying and screaming uncontrollably. 'I can't remember why I was screaming. But I remember I had some delusions. I thought that I couldn't see my husband and baby again because I was locked in the bedroom. I was screaming my husband's name and his phone number,' she recalled. Her husband, mother-in-law, father and sister tried to calm her down, but Ang did not stop screaming until the ambulance arrived an hour later. Ang had had a full-blown episode of postpartum psychosis, a rare but severe mental condition that can emerge shortly after childbirth. "I THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS GOING TO END" At that time, Ang and her family had not even heard of postpartum psychosis, which is a rare mental condition. Her father thought she was exhausted and overwhelmed by motherhood. While accompanying her to hospital in the ambulance, he urged her to engage a helper. UNDERSTANDING POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS Insights from Dr Anne-Marie Simons, consultant at the Institute of Mental Health. Postpartum psychosis is a severe form of mental illness that begins suddenly in the days and weeks after having a baby. Symptoms can include delusions, hallucinations, mania or severe confusion. It affects approximately one to two mothers per 1,000 births. While the exact cause is unknown, hormonal fluctuations and sleep deprivation are likely to be contributing factors. Some women who have postpartum psychosis have no previous history of mental illness. However, women who have a history of bipolar disorder or schizoaffective disorder, those who have had a previous episode of postpartum psychosis, or those with a close relative with postpartum psychosis are at higher risk for developing the condition. Timely treatment is crucial because the postpartum psychosis can progress rapidly over the course of hours or days, risking the health and the safety of both mother and baby. Patients require psychotropic medication, and in some cases, inpatient psychiatric care for close monitoring. With treatment, they usually make a full recovery in six to 12 months – longer in some cases. Note that postpartum psychosis should not be confused with postpartum depression, which is a serious mood disorder that can affect women after childbirth, and involves intense sadness, anxiety and tiredness. I was in disbelief that I was at IMH. 'They inserted a thick needle into my spine to extract eight bottles of liquid from my bone marrow to test for infection. It was very painful. Because they were not able to sedate me for this procedure, I was struggling. The nurses had to pin me down,' she recalled. Subsequently, Ang was sedated for further tests. Awake but immobile, she was pushed into the magnetic-resonance imaging (MRI) machine. 'I thought I was dead and I was in the incinerator. It was very scary,' she said. She awoke from this traumatic experience to find herself in a psychiatric ward at the general hospital. The blinds were drawn and she didn't know if it was morning or night. There, she stayed for a week, awaiting test results and grappling with ominous hallucinations. 'During the day, my husband, father and sister would visit me without fail, so my hallucinations were not so bad. But at night when there weren't any visitors and everything was quiet, the hallucinations were really bad. 'I saw black figures queuing up to enter the ward. I was afraid and asked the nurses who these people were,' she said. 'I also heard construction noise and car accidents, and thought the world was going to end.' 'There was a particular episode where I hallucinated that I gave birth to a baby girl. I saw myself delivering her. It felt very real to me. I thought that the nurses took away my baby, and asked them where my baby was,' she added. Some nights, Ang would simply lie awake, crying. FINDING HER WAY BACK TO REALITY Because doctors at the general hospital could not find any infection, Ang was transferred back to IMH a week later. She continued to hallucinate on her first night at IMH. 'I roomed with 20-plus patients and thought the other patients were toys,' she recalled. But after doctors adjusted her medication, she stopped hallucinating from the second day. She continued to have delusions of grandeur during her stay, however, imagining that she was held at IMH because she was a very important figure. Aside from that, Ang described her final two weeks of hospitalisation as 'uneventful'. She spent most of her time colouring, folding origami and making thousands of paper stars. Throughout her hospitalisation, the new mother was separated from her baby and missed him dearly. 'I just wanted to get well and just get home to see my baby,' she said. Finally, after three weeks of hospitalisation, Ang was discharged on Oct 7, 2024. She returned home just in time for a photo shoot she had previously arranged for her son. Rushing from a psychiatric hospital to a photo shoot was a surreal experience. 'I bathed, put on makeup and the photographer arrived one hour later,' she said, adding that the photographer explained that they could not wait any longer if they wanted to capture a newborn photo of her son. The photo shoot went well. Ang was also ecstatic to be home and reunited with her baby. 'I felt as if I had been given a second chance to live in reality,' she said. With mood stabilisers prescribed by her doctor, Ang's life has since returned to normal. Not wanting to dwell on her ordeal, she threw herself back into work almost immediately. She also cherishes motherhood like never before. Everyday activities like feeding her son, who is now 10 months old, changing his diaper and playing with him feel like a hard-fought victory. Having found her feet again, Ang told CNA Women she decided to share her story to raise awareness for postpartum psychosis and mental illness, so others don't feel alone in their journey. Asked if she has any regrets giving birth to her son, the doting mother replied without hesitation: 'No, I would go through the whole psychosis again to bring my son to this world. Because he is so precious.'
CNA
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- CNA
'Art should be for everyone': She started Senisini for youths to meet, create art and make new friends
The lights in the room are dim, but the walls burst with bright, vibrant colours, vivid shadows, and beautiful patterns – a montage of batik, tie-dye, shadow puppetry and more. I was at an art jamming session, or an art club, as Senisini calls it, and I was floored. Senisini means "art here" in Malay, and the ground-up organisation, founded by Iffah Syafiqah Yusof, provides a creative space for youths. A commercial analyst by day but an artist at heart, the 26-year-old Singaporean told CNA Women that Senisini began as a passion project with a few friends in August 2024. Whether it's doodling on her economics notes or filming random snippets of student life in London, England, where she did her master's degree, her hands are always moving, always itching to start something new. The art club I attended took place in March this year at Sultan Gate, situated next to the Ramadan bazaar at Kampong Glam. I tried to get a closer look at the artwork on the walls, but the room was packed. People were lying down, sitting on the floor, or standing by the walls. Everyone was creating something – from drawing slanted flowers with broken crayons to mixing clips on their phones to make a spontaneous reel. View this post on Instagram A post shared by @ There was no presentation, no central event, just people doing their own thing with materials provided by Senisini, such as newspaper clippings, cardboard, markers, crayons, and even a laptop to create their own PowerPoint slides. It was free-for-all artistic expression. When I spoke with some of the participants, I got the sense that while many of these people seemed like old friends, they had actually just met at the event. 'I didn't know her before this, we literally just met 10 minutes ago,' said Aisyah, 21, of the girl she was leaning against. 'We both came alone. She was next to me, we were drawing on the cardboard, and we wanted to use the same marker. It was funny.' Iffah smiled when I told her about the exchange. Fostering camaraderie among young people – something she has observed at the art clubs – is one of the reasons why she started the initiative. 'I've always been into the arts and drawing and creating something, and I know many others who are too. So we thought, why not start a space where people can do just that?' she said. ART JAMMING SESSIONS THAT ANYONE CAN JOIN Iffah describes Senisini as an initiative that aims to make art and creativity accessible to young people. Emphasis is placed on the word 'accessible', not just in terms of having different people try their hand at art, but also in making the experience welcoming, less intimidating, and, as Gen Z folks would say, no gatekeeping. Like the art club I attended, Senisini's programmes create a warm, open space where people can come and make art, regardless of talent. Their events are roving and part of the charm is the spontaneity – Senisini has had art jamming sessions in the middle of Haji Lane, in malls and shophouses, at HDB void decks, and even in restaurants. This idea of a welcoming, non-judgemental space to express oneself creatively began when Iffah was in London. 'Every other Tuesday afternoon, I'd go to this space where I'd join a bunch of people, most of whom were strangers to me, and draw,' Iffah said. And she absolutely loved it. 'It was so chill. There were so many materials – markers, paper, cardboard, glitter, crayons, dried leaves – anything could be used to create something. After about two hours at that art club, I'd feel so refreshed, de-stressed and full of energy.' The only thing was, most of these sessions were accompanied by alcohol. Drinks were served throughout, and a lot of people would be drinking, which Iffah wasn't comfortable with. 'That's when I started thinking about the idea of running my own art club back home, in a way that people like me could also enjoy.' The seed of that idea stayed with her until mid-2024, when it began to bloom. The more she juggled the demands of her analyst job, the more she realised how much she needed to make time for her creative side. When she shared the idea of an art club with her friends, they were equally enthusiastic. 'I thought, fine, let's just start something and see where it goes,' Iffah said. The first Senisini art club was a humble table at the Muhammadiyah Welfare Home Charity Festival, a fundraising event for the boys from the home. Iffah gathered a few friends, brought along art supplies, and the boys joined in to create art with them at the table. 'I was so moved to see how the boys and their families were enjoying themselves,' Iffah said. 'I felt that art should be for everyone. Doesn't matter how good or bad you think you are, I want to make it possible for you to express yourself through art.' From there, Iffah went on to organise pop-up art jamming sessions at unassuming public spaces, including the open area next to Nur Fayidha Restaurant at Sultan Gate, 60 ALLEY Bakes & Coffee at Arab Street and The Ground Theatre at *SCAPE. At these sessions, similar to the charity festival, Iffah and her friends would bring boxes filled with art materials, lay down cardboard or large sheets of paper, and put up a sign that read 'MAKE ART 4 FREE', alongside other signs explaining what the initiative was about. Anyone is welcome to come and create pieces which they can either keep or add to Senisini's collage collections. 'People would be curious. They'd come, take photos, and most would even sit down and join us to create something. And suddenly, we're friends,' Iffah said. Doesn't matter how good or bad you think you are, I want to make it possible for you to express yourself through art. From there, more programme ideas began to emerge – all centred on creative expression. Senisini has since introduced a film club, with the most recent session held in early May at restaurant and event space Mahmud's Tandoor. The film club welcomes anyone: Budding videographers, TikTok or Instagram short-video hobbyists and seasoned film students. Anyone interested in storytelling through film or video is invited to share a work-in-progress, and the audience can offer feedback. Senisini also hosts 'Show & Tell' sessions. These are pop-up events at various venues where individuals or groups can register to present any form of artwork – be it a papier-mache project, a film presentation for school, a design concept for a job portfolio, or a photo essay. Some of these sessions have been done in collaboration with non-profits like Mercy Relief, raising funds for humanitarian crises such as the one in Gaza. The attendance at these events ranges from 10 to over 100. Anyone can join to present their artwork, Iffah said. 'As long as it's respectful and sensible, we're open. 'Art used to be seen as this lofty pursuit that only talented people could do. 'And I respect individual artists who hone their craft and work hard to create something beautiful, but there should also be space for people who just want to enjoy art for fun, for self-expression.' A CRAVING FOR IN-PERSON INTERACTIONS The desire to have in-person gatherings isn't exactly new. It aligns with many current trends, like joining running groups, book clubs, or singing with strangers. It reflects something deeper among young people today, Iffah said. 'There's definitely a craving for more in-person events, more interactions on the ground, more face-to-face communication away from the screens we spend so much time on. 'That's the thing about these in-person events, we may not have much in common, but when we sit down and create something together, we share a moment,' she said, just like the two girls I met at the art club. Iffah is especially grateful for the steady and spontaneous growth of the community. She is brimming with ideas for other types of 'random' art gatherings, such as drawing during museum trips or photography walks while skateboarding. Iffah noted that Senisini began less than a year ago, with a core team of full-time students and working adults. Yet, the platform has been growing steadily, with fortnightly events and multiple collaborations with other organisations. 'It's been nice to see people from literally anywhere come together to create something – anything,' Iffah said. 'I think the community's growth comes from how long the need has gone unmet, and it's lovely to see Senisini filling that gap in the local art community.'
CNA
01-06-2025
- Entertainment
- CNA
8 best podcasts for women in Singapore: Top picks on career, motherhood, health, dating and love
The best thing about podcasts is that you can listen to them anywhere, anytime, as long as you have a device that plays them. While they can simply entertain or even introduce us to a whole genre we never knew we were interested in – hello, true crime podcasts – they can also inform. For women looking to find out more about health, parenting or career-related issues, here are eight local podcasts – all free – that delve into these topics. WHAT THE F: FROM INFERTILITY EXHAUSTION TO PEACE BY TINA PADIA Tina Padia launched the podcast in January because she had been through a four-year fertility journey and knows how it feels to be 'in that dark and lonely place where I sometimes felt completely helpless'. She describes What The F as 'a safe haven, a lifeline' for women going through fertility struggles. 'There is no judgement here or unwanted triggering advice around what you should and shouldn't be doing,' she told CNA Women. Padia is a certified and accredited life coach and fertility coach, and felt it was important to talk about the need for a more holistic, empathetic and compassionate approach to the emotional needs of women – and couples – going through fertility treatment. It's especially so in Singapore and Asia as fertility clinics and hospitals often don't provide this, she said. 'There isn't a podcast specifically for women affected by infertility in Singapore so I'm here to try and make sure no one else has to go through this journey feeling isolated, guilty or shameful about what they're going through or feeling,' she said. Episodes range from Padia talking about balancing work and fertility treatments, to healing after an unsuccessful IVF cycle and how to support someone undergoing fertility treatments. THE BIRTH OF A MOTHER BY CLARITY SINGAPORE Launched in April, this podcast by mental health charity Clarity Singapore was started to bring about awareness and education to mums about maternal mental health, such as what symptoms to look out for, knowing when to seek professional help, as well as what is considered normal and not normal. Cindy Khong, senior mental health counsellor at Clarity Singapore, said: 'It's also to encourage mothers to seek help and know that they do not need to journey alone in their struggles and pain, by improving access to information regarding perinatal experiences for them and their families. 'Plus, to instil hope and inspire help-seeking for families, and reduce the stigma surrounding maternal mental health by sharing personal experiences of mothers' real struggles,' added Khong, who also leads the charity's Clarity for Moms programme, which provides support for expecting and postnatal mums facing emotional challenges. The four episodes feature personal stories from mums who have experienced perinatal depression and anxiety, as well as expert advice from Dr Gillian Lim, a psychiatrist at the Institute of Mental Health. The team is currently going through feedback from the first run, to decide if more episodes will be made. Listen to The Birth Of A Mother here. THE FORTIES FORMULA BY AMANDA LIM AND JASMIN DHILLON Amanda Lim is a metabolic health coach while Jasmin Dhillon is a nutritional health coach. The wellness pros believed something was missing in the conventional health messaging given to 40-something women, so they wanted to connect with this group of women looking for a more nuanced approach. On the podcast, they chat with experts about perimenopause management, strength training in your forties, having a low sex drive, and makeup for mature skin. Dhillon revealed they have a younger audience too, who feel that the podcast is 'like a harbinger of what's to come, helping younger women make better decisions now to improve their future wellness lives'. 'Our content is for any woman looking to gather multiple perspectives, hear a wealth of different insights and potentially make significant lifestyle changes based on expert opinion and informed advice from a diversity of wellness professionals,' she added. Listen to The Forties Formula here. Catch new episodes every Thursday at 7am. MAKE IT WORK BY SARAH WONG Sarah Wong spent six years in Silicon Valley's fast-paced tech scene and experienced burnout upon returning to Singapore. The mother-of-two sought stories of working mums who redefined success on their own terms, making bold career shifts while prioritising what mattered most. 'Their insights were too valuable to keep to myself, so Make It Work was born. A podcast for ambitious mums navigating career and family on their terms,' Wong told CNA Women. Wong speaks to mums working in various fields and gets advice on topics such as parenting in a digital age, how to build your professional village and finding strength through vulnerability. She recommends her podcast for working mothers who are wondering if they can 'have it all' and are looking for inspiration, practical advice and a supportive community. 'It will especially resonate if you are considering or have made career shifts to better align with your family life,' she added. Wong also frequently shares episode highlights, curated parenting inspiration, advice and a dose of parent-life comedy on Make It Work's Instagram and TikTok accounts. JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR BY MARISSA TREW AND HANLI HOEFER Listen to two young, mixed-race women in Singapore discuss everything from mental health to sex positivity to pondering the answer to the age-old question – can men and women really be friends? It's an insight to the thoughts of young Asian women and their take on modern life. The two longtime friends chat candidly about topics relevant to women in their twenties and thirties. They also interview personalities from various fields, tackling issues such as sexual health, breast cancer and investing. The podcast kicked off in March 2020, with the last episode released in November 2024. There are 102 episodes to get through so strap in for a fun, informative ride with Melissa Trew and Hanli Hoefer. If you prefer to watch them in action, there are also some episodes on YouTube. Listen to Just So We're Clear here. WOMANKIND BY CNA WOMEN The CNA Women team started the Womankind podcast because they felt there was more about women's issues that could be explored beyond their digital stories. When you tune in to this podcast, it feels like you're part of a conversation with friends, with topics related directly to women, explored in a friendly and relatable manner by its hosts, Penelope Chan and Hidayah Salamat. There are eight episodes, which touch on a wide range of topics, from women's health to dating and motherhood. Find out why we dread women's health tests (that Pap smear), whether maternal instinct is a myth, how self-care for mums is crucial, why women are more prone to burnout, why we find it so hard to ask for help and how woman can achieve sexual equality between the sheets. Listen to Womankind here. CAN'T KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT BY NIXALINA WATSON Nixalina Watson brought her brand, Sex & London City, to Singapore in 2019, creating a digital platform called Sex & Singapore City. She's a writer by trade and this was a website that included sex, dating and love articles – what she was famed for in her native United Kingdom. A month after the website went live, she received an e-mail from a studio in Singapore, asking if she'd consider doing a podcast on the topics she writes about. This led to the launch of the Sex & Singapore City podcast and it became an immediate hit, topping Spotify charts and being included in the Louis Vuitton Singapore Travel Guide, among other accolades. 'I realised it was being listened to in 68 countries so I rebranded it to Can't Keep My Mouth Shut, and the rest, as they say, is history,' Watson said. Watson admitted she 'had zero intention to become a podcaster'. However, her brand of straight-talking chats about love, dating, sex and everything in between resonated with her audience 'who enjoy unfiltered, brutally honest conversational podcast episodes that leave you feeling inspired or sad, in fits of laughter or even simply life-focused – depending on the topic'. She has spoken about topics such as long-distance relationships, abusive relationships, egg freezing and dating apps. Listen to Can't Keep My Mouth Shut here. A new episode drops every Monday evening but Watson sometimes takes a break from recording, 'just to keep the creative juices flowing'. THE PARENTING REVIVAL PODCAST BY SHARANYA V As a marriage and early parenting coach, Sharanya helps families navigate the complexities of early parenthood. She launched the podcast as she recognised the challenges of balancing marriage, mental health and parenting. 'I aimed to offer practical strategies and real-life insights to help parents restore harmony and confidence in their family lives and overall wholesome happiness for everyone in the family,' she said. Parents of young children can get advice on issues such as parental guilt, your child's sleeping habits, the importance of empathy in relationships and how to better connect with your husband. 'This podcast is designed for parents, especially those with young children, who seek guidance on managing sleep deprivation, marital dynamics and parenting challenges,' Sharanya said. 'It's also beneficial for caregivers interested in fostering a balanced and fulfilling family environment.'
CNA
04-05-2025
- General
- CNA
How this 35-year-old woman adopted her foster daughter and built a forever family with her
When asked how many children they want, most married couples might say one, two, or perhaps none. But Nasrin Shah Beevi, 35, has raised six children – and she doesn't plan to stop there. None of these children were born to her, however. They are her foster children, and have ranged from a baby to children in their tweens. Nasrin, who's a counsellor, began her fostering journey in 2021, two years after marrying her husband, Nizamudheen Ishak, 52, an IT manager. Though Nasrin loves all her foster children dearly, she knows that they are all only with her for a season. Placed in foster care due to abuse, neglect, abandonment, or because their parents are unable to care for them due to incarceration, illness, or death, most of them return to their biological families once the situation stabilises – usually within a few months to a few years. But one girl stayed. Two years ago, around Mother's Day, Nasrin received news that she could adopt Nur (not her real name), a spirited three-year-old girl she had been fostering. 'I cried. It was like a Mother's Day gift to me,' she recalled. In turns laughing and crying during our interview, Nasrin shares her incredible motherhood journey with CNA Women. BECOMING A MUM OVERNIGHT Nasrin was first told about Nur through a phone call. Days later, she and her husband made their way to a respite house – short-term accommodation typically for children in crises or whose carers need a brief reprieve. Balloon and lollipop in hand, she met three-and-a-half-year-old Nur for the first time. The first thing that struck Nasrin was how small the child was. Part of this might have been genetic, but Nur also wasn't well-fed as a baby and toddler, Nasrin said. 'Nobody would believe she was three-and-a-half. They'd probably think she is barely two years old,' she remarked. From the beginning, Nasrin was told the child would be available for adoption. However, the social worker wanted to observe how the girl adjusted under Nasrin and Nizamudheen's care. The young girl was playing with another child and refused to even look at her fosterers. Later, when she followed the two strangers home, she silently held Nasrin's hand, not uttering a word. For the next few days, Nur did not speak to Nasrin, responding to questions with non-verbal sounds. She was slightly more communicative with Nizamudheen, but still very reserved. Nasrin had been told that Nur was more comfortable with men due to her history of neglect and abandonment, particularly with women. Nonetheless, she couldn't help wondering if she was doing something wrong. Taking the rejection in her stride, Nasrin worked hard to win Nur's trust, caring for the child and carving out time to give her undivided attention. Slowly but surely, the breakthrough came. Two weeks later, Nur began responding to Nasrin, and even called her 'mummy' for the first time. 'It was really beautiful when I was able to reach her, and she acknowledged my presence – embraced my existence,' Nasrin said. A SECOND CHANCE AT CHILDHOOD It's hard to believe the six-year-old Nur today was the neglected, withdrawn child Nasrin met at respite care. Today, she is chatty, opinionated, bursting with energy, and full of life. 'My cousins say that she'll be a good lawyer. She tries to negotiate everything to the best of her ability,' Nasrin chuckled. 'She's bright, intelligent, sociable, happy and mischievous – everybody adores her.' Noticing the positive changes in Nur, the social worker initiated the adoption process. The day after Mother's Day in 2023, Nasrin and her husband received the joyful news that they could legally adopt her. In October 2024, the adoption was finalised – and Nur officially became their daughter. The mother and daughter are very attached. 'I've never received this much love and attention from a child,' Nasrin said, choking up with tears. 'She jumps on you, cuddles you, hugs you and kisses you. Even though we don't share blood ties, she loves us so much. It's really beautiful,' Nasrin added. 'Every night, before we go to bed, we hug and kiss.' The family enjoys cycling, reading, doing craft activities and travelling together. 'Every day is a precious memory,' Nasrin said. LOVE THAT STEPS IN, WHEN FAMILY CAN'T Watching Nur blossom has been a magical experience for Nasrin. It has also convinced her that a loving family can transform the life of a vulnerable child. Nasrin told CNA Women that she has been drawn to fostering since she began working as a counsellor at a social service agency in her twenties, where she worked with many vulnerable children. Her husband, an active volunteer working with offenders and ex-offenders, is also passionate about helping those in need. Hence, shortly after their marriage, the couple agreed to start their fostering journey, regardless of whether they have biological children. 'We didn't put pressure on each other to have a biological child. We will let nature take its course,' she said. After adopting Nur, the couple, at Nur's request, also fostered a 13-month-old baby for a few months. Nur had been wishing for a little sister. This was the first baby Nasrin has fostered – her other foster children were between four and 10 years old. While Nasrin bonded with the baby and found the experience meaningful, Nur had a harder time adjusting. The baby demanded much of Nasrin's attention, and Nur missed the one-on-one time they used to share. She also struggled with mum guilt. Hence, the couple have decided to hold off fostering for now, and instead offer short-term respite care lasting a few days to children in need. They hope to continue fostering in a couple of years when Nur is ready and Nasrin has the bandwidth. 'We felt that with Nur's transition from foster to adopted child, it may be too soon for her to be an older sister. Hopefully, in a couple of years, when Nur is more mature, we will engage her in the decision-making (on whether to foster again),' Nasrin said. Reflecting on the importance of stepping up to provide a temporary home and family for children in need, Nasrin poignantly recalled her first foster child, a four-year-old, in 2020. 'I will never be able to forget this experience. The social worker brought him from the hospital, so he was wearing hospital clothes and didn't have any home clothes. 'After we signed the fostering agreement, my husband and I brought him to a mall to get new clothes. He was a very fair-skinned boy and looked very different from us. As my husband and I held his hands, the public's eye was on us. I wondered how the child felt,' she added, tears welling in her eyes. HERE FOR A SEASON, IN HER HEART FOREVER One challenge of fostering is that the children come from diverse backgrounds. Every child is different, and depending on their age, are going through different transitions, Nasrin said. Another challenge is that no matter how much you love the child, he or she will usually leave you in time, she said. 'Right from the start, I knew the fostering journey could end abruptly. It was what I had signed up for,' she said. Even with adopted children, this may be the case, Nasrin added. As her adopted daughter grows older and begins asking questions about her biological mother, Nasrin is ready to support her if she ever decides to search for and return to her birth parents, she said. 'If that is her decision, we will walk the journey with her,' she said resolutely. For Nasrin, it doesn't matter whether they came from her womb or through foster care – she loves her adopted daughter and foster children as her own. She said she would have adopted her other foster kids if reunification with their biological families hadn't been possible. "My husband once told the social worker that he wants to take a family photo with all our foster children and hang it on the wall one day," Nasrin said, her voice full of warmth. This unconventional family tree is a dream Nasrin holds close to her heart as well.
CNA
01-05-2025
- Entertainment
- CNA
From Suntec to Tampines: She's behind the Mak Besar bazaars that attract tens of thousands
If you love bazaars and find yourself drawn to the bright lights and row upon row of stalls selling everything from food to fashion, with the occasional live performance or celebrity appearance thrown in, you've likely come across a Mak Besar event. Since its debut in 2019, the events and marketing company has organised more than 15 large-scale consumer events, each featuring 100 to more than 200 retail, food and entertainment vendors, and attracting around 65,000 visitors per set-up. Singaporeans would have been to a Mak Besar bazaar at Suntec Singapore Convention and Exhibition Centre, Singapore EXPO, and the now-defunct Turf City, as well as at open spaces in Tampines and Lakeside. The company's name is a nod to the Malay term for a beloved 'big aunt' or 'big mama', and also happens to be the nickname given to its founder and managing director, Haryani Othman. The 46-year-old's background is as colourful as her bazaars. She's worn many hats – legal executive, television producer, comedian and now, bazaar boss – but at her core, she sees herself as 'a member of the community' who cares deeply about the people she works with, especially her Mak Besar vendors and staff. 'I love seeing others happy,' Haryani told CNA Women. 'Mak Besar allows me to create happy spaces where everyone can come together and have a great time.' BRINGING JOY TO OTHERS After graduating with a communications degree in 2003, Haryani carved out a name for herself in the local entertainment scene. She got her start in 2006 in Gemilang, a comedy variety show hosted by Najip Ali on Suria, the local Malay broadcast station. That led to acting opportunities, and before long, she became a familiar and versatile face on Malay-language television. Off-camera, Haryani wrote and produced over 20 television programmes, including collaborations with comedian Kumar. In 2011 and 2015, she won awards for her writing at Pesta Perdana, a local awards show honouring talents in the Malay television industry. 'I loved working on them all,' she said. 'I just really liked the idea of being a part of something that gave viewers what they were looking for when they were watching their favourite drama." Even while she was working in television production, Haryani was also dabbling in other fields, such as law. Having earned a law diploma in polytechnic before her communications degree, Haryani worked on ad-hoc legal projects in the early 2010s and even did business development for a law firm in 2018. Around the mid-2010s, she began dipping her toes into event management. 'I didn't really think running consumer shows was a sustainable career at that time. I had lots of friends who were bazaar vendors and organisers, so I just wanted to try it out and have fun along the way,' she said. Haryani started out doing marketing, but as it turned out, events management was the sum of everything she loved: Connecting with people, offering the opportunity for them to gather and creating platforms for business owners and collaborators. It became a way for her to work with her friends, support home-based businesses and small vendors in the Malay community, and offer Singaporeans something they could enjoy and look forward to. TAKING A RISK AND STARTING MAK BESAR By 2017, Haryani was channelling most of her energy into legal work and freelance events management. However, she had a falling out with an events company while working on a large project, and that marked a turning point for her. She realised that while she loved the industry, she sometimes found dealing with multiple stakeholders and managing expectations emotionally exhausting. 'It was a dark period in my life. I still loved doing what I did, but I also began to wonder if I should continue events management, or if I should just go back to what had always worked for me – law and media,' she reflected. By that time, Haryani and her close friends – married couple Firdaus 'Fid' Faisal and Lina Liyana Samsi – had already earned a small reputation in the events scene. The three were known to be reliable freelancers and were trusted to deliver. 'We didn't have a name then, but people in the space knew who we were,' said Haryani. 'They were telling us not to give up, to keep going, some even encouraged us to start our own events company.' The encouragement struck her, but starting a business was no small decision, and Haryani was all too aware of the financial risks. 'I may not have kids, but I was a wife and I was supporting my parents alongside my sisters,' she said. 'Fid and Lina had five children to feed. It wasn't just my risk to take – it would affect all of us.' What solidified her resolve to take the leap was the support of people around her. Her parents and husband told her they were behind her decision to start an events business. People she had worked with on previous events even offered to work for free at her first few events, to help her get things off the ground. 'I felt so touched that they'd really do that for me – and they kept their word, they really did volunteer their time and energy for us for free,' Haryani said. In 2018, Haryani decided to take the plunge and roped in Fid and Lina – the latter suggested calling the company Mak Besar. It felt right – people trusted Mak Besar because they trusted Haryani's leadership, vision and heart. The company launched its first event a year later, Grand Bite at Grandstand, a food event at the now-defunct Turf City. For Haryani, the worries about costs, logistics and operations melted away as the crowds showed up and the vendors thrived. 'The people who worked for me for free – we got to pay all of them from what we earned, and more,' she beamed. Haryani knew she was building something bigger than herself – a business that supported not just her livelihood, but the many vendors and small businesses that depended on their events to thrive. 'The Malay community is full of entrepreneurs,' she said. 'Creative women selling their homemade products. Fathers who want more time with their children start businesses to involve them. Youths with bold ideas want to try it with their friends. I wanted to give all of them a platform.' But those early years were exhausting, Haryani said, and she juggled numerous tasks herself. 'I did the work of 10 people – marketing, liaising with celebrities, artistes, and their managers, live shows, accounting,' she said. 'Fid and Lina supported me, of course, but I did so much just to make sure the consumer show was a success – not just for me and my team, but for the vendors who had put their faith in us.' At the Grandstand Bazaar that year, there were about 100 food and retail vendors, and about 50,000 people came. Then the pandemic hit in early 2020, and annual Ramadan bazaars at Geylang Serai, Kampong Gelam and other heartland spots were cancelled. Haryani worried about her vendors. 'It felt like people were counting on us to help them make up the income they lost,' she said. 'So we went live on TikTok and Instagram, and we started an online e-commerce platform called Mak Besar Garage.' Vendors paid the company a small fee to be featured, and for Haryani to livestream herself trying out their products. 'The team rented a studio and I was on screen for 12 hours a day, selling everything from carpets and clothes to kueh, accessories, food, and even delivery services, from home-based businesses. 'I ate so much and tried on so many outfits live – it was exhausting! But we had hundreds of thousands of viewers, and the vendors were happy. They stopped losing money. They started seeing gains.' Musicians and dancers also went live on social media to entertain viewers watching from their homes. 'I read everyone's comments, so seeing people laughing in the comments and sending in all their sweet and supportive messages – that's what makes all the work worth it,' she said. View this post on Instagram A post shared by MakBesar (@makbesarsg) Now, six years in, Haryani finally has room to breathe. She currently leads Mak Besar's marketing arm, which has expanded to offer marketing services beyond events, while Lina and Fid manage sales, admin, operations and logistics. What started as a three-person hustle is now a team of about 10 full-time staff and 20 part-timers. This year, Mak Besar organised the Grand Market at Suntec in January and February, followed by the Ramadan Bazaar at Our Tampines Hub in March. Events are already lined up until November, and each edition has a unique theme. For instance, the upcoming bazaar in May is themed FUNWORLD, targeting families with young children and full of kids-centric activities like bouncy castles and youth performances. 'Some people may think Mak Besar is just another bazaar – the same old thing every other month,' she said. 'But to me, it's always changing because I'm always listening and observing. I want Mak Besar to reflect what the community wants at any given time.'
