How this 35-year-old woman adopted her foster daughter and built a forever family with her

CNA

04-05-2025

When asked how many children they want, most married couples might say one, two, or perhaps none.
But Nasrin Shah Beevi, 35, has raised six children – and she doesn't plan to stop there.
None of these children were born to her, however. They are her foster children, and have ranged from a baby to children in their tweens.
Nasrin, who's a counsellor, began her fostering journey in 2021, two years after marrying her husband, Nizamudheen Ishak, 52, an IT manager.
Though Nasrin loves all her foster children dearly, she knows that they are all only with her for a season. Placed in foster care due to abuse, neglect, abandonment, or because their parents are unable to care for them due to incarceration, illness, or death, most of them return to their biological families once the situation stabilises – usually within a few months to a few years.
But one girl stayed. Two years ago, around Mother's Day, Nasrin received news that she could adopt Nur (not her real name), a spirited three-year-old girl she had been fostering.
'I cried. It was like a Mother's Day gift to me,' she recalled.
In turns laughing and crying during our interview, Nasrin shares her incredible motherhood journey with CNA Women.
BECOMING A MUM OVERNIGHT
Nasrin was first told about Nur through a phone call. Days later, she and her husband made their way to a respite house – short-term accommodation typically for children in crises or whose carers need a brief reprieve. Balloon and lollipop in hand, she met three-and-a-half-year-old Nur for the first time.
The first thing that struck Nasrin was how small the child was. Part of this might have been genetic, but Nur also wasn't well-fed as a baby and toddler, Nasrin said.
'Nobody would believe she was three-and-a-half. They'd probably think she is barely two years old,' she remarked.
From the beginning, Nasrin was told the child would be available for adoption. However, the social worker wanted to observe how the girl adjusted under Nasrin and Nizamudheen's care.
The young girl was playing with another child and refused to even look at her fosterers. Later, when she followed the two strangers home, she silently held Nasrin's hand, not uttering a word.
For the next few days, Nur did not speak to Nasrin, responding to questions with non-verbal sounds. She was slightly more communicative with Nizamudheen, but still very reserved.
Nasrin had been told that Nur was more comfortable with men due to her history of neglect and abandonment, particularly with women. Nonetheless, she couldn't help wondering if she was doing something wrong.
Taking the rejection in her stride, Nasrin worked hard to win Nur's trust, caring for the child and carving out time to give her undivided attention.
Slowly but surely, the breakthrough came. Two weeks later, Nur began responding to Nasrin, and even called her 'mummy' for the first time.
'It was really beautiful when I was able to reach her, and she acknowledged my presence – embraced my existence,' Nasrin said.
A SECOND CHANCE AT CHILDHOOD
It's hard to believe the six-year-old Nur today was the neglected, withdrawn child Nasrin met at respite care. Today, she is chatty, opinionated, bursting with energy, and full of life.
'My cousins say that she'll be a good lawyer. She tries to negotiate everything to the best of her ability,' Nasrin chuckled. 'She's bright, intelligent, sociable, happy and mischievous – everybody adores her.'
Noticing the positive changes in Nur, the social worker initiated the adoption process. The day after Mother's Day in 2023, Nasrin and her husband received the joyful news that they could legally adopt her. In October 2024, the adoption was finalised – and Nur officially became their daughter.
The mother and daughter are very attached. 'I've never received this much love and attention from a child,' Nasrin said, choking up with tears.
'She jumps on you, cuddles you, hugs you and kisses you. Even though we don't share blood ties, she loves us so much. It's really beautiful,' Nasrin added. 'Every night, before we go to bed, we hug and kiss.'
The family enjoys cycling, reading, doing craft activities and travelling together. 'Every day is a precious memory,' Nasrin said.
LOVE THAT STEPS IN, WHEN FAMILY CAN'T
Watching Nur blossom has been a magical experience for Nasrin. It has also convinced her that a loving family can transform the life of a vulnerable child.
Nasrin told CNA Women that she has been drawn to fostering since she began working as a counsellor at a social service agency in her twenties, where she worked with many vulnerable children.
Her husband, an active volunteer working with offenders and ex-offenders, is also passionate about helping those in need. Hence, shortly after their marriage, the couple agreed to start their fostering journey, regardless of whether they have biological children.
'We didn't put pressure on each other to have a biological child. We will let nature take its course,' she said.
After adopting Nur, the couple, at Nur's request, also fostered a 13-month-old baby for a few months. Nur had been wishing for a little sister. This was the first baby Nasrin has fostered – her other foster children were between four and 10 years old.
While Nasrin bonded with the baby and found the experience meaningful, Nur had a harder time adjusting. The baby demanded much of Nasrin's attention, and Nur missed the one-on-one time they used to share. She also struggled with mum guilt.
Hence, the couple have decided to hold off fostering for now, and instead offer short-term respite care lasting a few days to children in need. They hope to continue fostering in a couple of years when Nur is ready and Nasrin has the bandwidth.
'We felt that with Nur's transition from foster to adopted child, it may be too soon for her to be an older sister. Hopefully, in a couple of years, when Nur is more mature, we will engage her in the decision-making (on whether to foster again),' Nasrin said.
Reflecting on the importance of stepping up to provide a temporary home and family for children in need, Nasrin poignantly recalled her first foster child, a four-year-old, in 2020.
'I will never be able to forget this experience. The social worker brought him from the hospital, so he was wearing hospital clothes and didn't have any home clothes.
'After we signed the fostering agreement, my husband and I brought him to a mall to get new clothes. He was a very fair-skinned boy and looked very different from us. As my husband and I held his hands, the public's eye was on us. I wondered how the child felt,' she added, tears welling in her eyes.
HERE FOR A SEASON, IN HER HEART FOREVER
One challenge of fostering is that the children come from diverse backgrounds. Every child is different, and depending on their age, are going through different transitions, Nasrin said.
Another challenge is that no matter how much you love the child, he or she will usually leave you in time, she said.
'Right from the start, I knew the fostering journey could end abruptly. It was what I had signed up for,' she said.
Even with adopted children, this may be the case, Nasrin added. As her adopted daughter grows older and begins asking questions about her biological mother, Nasrin is ready to support her if she ever decides to search for and return to her birth parents, she said.
'If that is her decision, we will walk the journey with her,' she said resolutely.
For Nasrin, it doesn't matter whether they came from her womb or through foster care – she loves her adopted daughter and foster children as her own. She said she would have adopted her other foster kids if reunification with their biological families hadn't been possible.
"My husband once told the social worker that he wants to take a family photo with all our foster children and hang it on the wall one day," Nasrin said, her voice full of warmth.
This unconventional family tree is a dream Nasrin holds close to her heart as well.