29-04-2025
Every 2025 Kentucky Derby horse name, ranked
Every 2025 Kentucky Derby horse name, ranked
The 2025 Kentucky Derby is coming later in the week, so you're probably searching for betting advice as we get ready for the horses to race at Churchill Downs.
But I'm going to be the bearer of some bad news: while we'll have some betting advice later this week, this isn't that post.
No, this is the post that we've done in the past seven years, in which we rank the thoroughbreds by the horse names, which will help all you casual bettors out there.
KENTUCKY DERBY MORNING LINE ODDS: Every horse's opening odds this week
What's the criteria? It's a very unscientific combination of originality, prestige and whether it sounds like the kind of name that shows how tough and resilient a horse is to win the Run for the Roses.
Let's go from worst to best:
20. Neoequos
I'm having trouble saying it out loud. Too many vowels.
19. Luxor Cafe
It sounds like one of those restaurants that's trying to be all fancy, but is, in fact, a tourist trap.
18. Tiztastic
Tiz not great.
17. Citizen Bull
This is not a cow race. This is a horse race. If it was Citizen Stallion, I'd bump it up a few spots.
16. Coal Battle
Too dependent on coal. Come back to me when it's Solar Battle.
15. Sandman
Too sleepy to win.
14. Owen Almighty
No Bruce or Evan Almighty?
13. Admire Daytona
Not the worst, but does sound like a bad marketing slogan for Daytona Beach.
12. Burnham Square
Makes me think of Bo Burnham, who is funny.
11. American Promise
There are better horse names on this list.
10. East Avenue
I grew up on a street with a name similar to this one. Personal bias counts here!
9. Rodriguez
Named for Sixto Rodriguez, the singer. That gets some points here.
8. Grande
Ariana Grande is good too.
7. Chunk of Gold
We're getting closer to "sounds like a good Kentucky Derby horse name."
6. Final Gambit
Same with this one. Very thoroughbred-y.
5. Flying Mohawk
Sounds more like a WWE finishing move, but whatever, this is a really good one.
4. Render Judgement
Great name from the horse owned by the late Toby Keith. Feels god-like.
3. Sovereignty
Royalty. So good.
2. Publisher
You'll see where I'm going with this in a sec.
1. Journalism
If there's a time we need journalism and publishers to finish at the top, it's now (see? Told you there's personal bias!).
