Latest news with #Colman'sMustard
Telegraph
13-04-2025
- Entertainment
- Telegraph
How posh are you really? Take my privilege test
Firstly, is your dog named after a Scottish river? Around a year ago, when I was considering getting a puppy, a nice lady called Gail Garbutt sent me her book Spot On: Good Names For Dogs. It lists hundreds of options, in various categories, and my favourite of all was the suggestion that you call your dog Oykel, Brora or Lossie. Picking one of these would definitely make you (and your dog) a bit privileged. Although there is also a Scottish river called Garry, which I didn't know before reading this book, and would slightly let the side down. Secondly, do you know that the Cresta Run is, in fact, not a run? Very privileged if so. Add on 100 bonus points to your score if you've actually done it. Do you have a very small, very old telly instead of a vast flat-screen? Privileged! Do you play charades three or more times a year, and sometimes have scrambled eggs for supper? I'm afraid you may be an enemy of the people if so. Do you have a tin of Colman's Mustard powder in your cupboard (probably you call it a larder or pantry), because you much prefer making it yourself, in an eggcup, rather than the ready-made stuff? Whoops, this is an absolute giveaway. I would imagine, if you do feel this way about Colman's Mustard, you may also still refer to Kenya as Keeenya? I once challenged a member of my family who referred to the country as such, whereupon he blinked at me, confused, and said 'What? It's just the same as still calling Zimbabwe Rhodesia.' If you happen to be in the Keeenya or even Rhodesia camp, I'm afraid that's quite a few privilege points. If you refer to the drawing room, and that's also where you open your Christmas presents but strictly after lunch (never before), then these mean you're similarly awful and entitled. Do you also have a downstairs loo which contains any of the following: a school team photo; a framed engagement or birth announcement; a photo of a relative on a horse; a Matt cartoon compendium; a well-thumbed pile of Country Life copies, dating back to the 1980s? Should you have all of these things, you might as well go straight to the nearest police station and hand yourself in. Do you believe that central heating, and certainly a house that's too warm, is slightly common? This has the whiff of privilege, as does any snobbery towards visitors' books. I've grown up being taught that it's enormously naff to leave comments in the visitors' book, and that you should simply write your name and your address. Sometimes, I look at the entry in the visitors' book before mine and think how lovely and cheerful it is that the previous guest wrote so eloquently and charmingly about the food and the comfort of the beds, and I forlornly wish I could bring myself to do the same. But the trouble is I'm been conditioned to believe that compliments like that in the visitors' book are infra dig and should be left for my thank-you letter. I'm so sorry. Forgive me, Father, and all that. Are you either alarmed by the sound of the Gay Gordons, or an enthusiastic participant? Westminster City Council would be appalled if you're the latter.
The Independent
20-03-2025
- Politics
- The Independent
If Labour is to beat Reform, we must show we are the party of British values
I grew up in a family built on British values, on service, duty and hard work. My grandfather hunted Nazi U-boats before becoming a Colman's Mustard salesman. My father dedicated his career to policing, while my mother cared for the vulnerable, ensuring dignity and respect for those in need. At 20, I joined the Intelligence Corps, serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, before tackling criminals with the National Crime Agency and later working in counterterrorism to defend Britain's democracy and security. British values are not abstract to me – they are what I have fought for. We defend these values not with slogans, but with action. That means rejecting the extremities of politics and focusing on what truly makes Britain great: democracy, the rule of law, respect, firmness, decency and opportunity. British values are mirrored by our Armed Forces, who embody discipline, professionalism and a commitment to protecting those who cannot defend themselves. Strength matters, but let's be clear; leadership without decency is weakness something we see at both ends of the extremes. True leadership is knowing when to stand firm and when to show diplomacy. It is understanding that decency is not a weakness but a necessity. For more than a century, these values have guided our democracy. Britain has always rejected extremism. When the far right threatened our democratic values in the 1930s, we defeated them. When the hard left rejected economic responsibility in the 1980s, we rejected them. Today, Britain again needs competence over ideology, fairness over division, and leadership over chaos. This is why mainstream, centrist politics has always won out in the end. Britain is not a country seduced by radicalism – it is a country that demands action, fairness and results. British values are rejected on the extremities. They thrive in and around the centre. At every turning point in history, when Britain has needed strong, responsible government, it has found it. And when leadership has required firmness with decency, we have seen it in action. One of the greatest examples of this leadership was Mo Mowlam's role in the Northern Ireland peace process. Facing a fragile ceasefire, she took the bold and risky decision to walk into the Maze Prison, persuading loyalist paramilitaries to stay in the peace talks. It was a courageous, unconventional move, but she won respect by listening, speaking plainly, and refusing to be intimidated. She proved that real leadership is not just about being tough – it is about being fair, firm and decent. The secretary of state for work and pensions, Liz Kendall, echoed this on Tuesday, saying: 'I am not interested in being tough. This is about real people with real lives.' Britain needs leaders who act – not just talk. Leaders who make the tough calls with the right values at heart. That is what Keir Starmer is delivering. Yet we have seen a breakdown in British values in parts of our parliament – disturbing and unacceptable. Nigel Farage has fawned over Putin, wrapping himself in our great flag while proving he is no patriot – just a political opportunist, forever waiting to see which way the wind blows. The Reform party's confusion over President Zelensky's decision not to hold elections while at war – just as Winston Churchill did – further exposes their abandonment of British values, which is sad to see on our precious green benches. But this betrayal does not stop with Reform. The Conservative Party has also turned its back on British values, joining Reform in voting against the Employment Rights Bill legislation that ensures fair pay and protections for workers, restoring balance in our economy so that those who contribute to Britain get the respect they deserve. They also voted against the Border Security, Asylum and Immigration Bill, which brings counter-terror powers into the fight to secure our borders. Labour's approach to immigration is another example of strength with decency - deporting record numbers who shouldn't be here while ensuring we help those in genuine need. Nowhere is the need for strong, responsible government clearer than in the NHS. This Labour government is delivering record investment and taking bold steps to fix the system, ripping up the bloated bureaucracy of NHS England. Sometimes you need to break eggs to make an omelette. The NHS is currently both overmanaged and poorly managed by an opaque and poorly co-ordinated bureaucracy. Reforming the NHS is clear; cut out duplication, have clearer management lines, cut staffing and admin costs. Taxpayers are paying more and getting less – this must change. Yet again, Nigel Farage abandons British values, pushing for an insurance-based system that would undermine our NHS – one of our greatest national institutions. Now is not the time for division or ideology. Britain needs leadership with decency, fairness with responsibility. Britain does not flinch in the face of challenges. And today, neither does this Labour government. That is why, once again, Britain will stand strong.
