Latest news with #Engle
Cosmopolitan
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Cosmopolitan
Snail vibrator review: the dual stimulation sex toy is a must try
When I first got word that a new sex toy called the 'snail vibe' was the latest viral vibrator to make the rounds online, I immediately volunteered to review it for Cosmo. One byproduct of being a sex editor with access to pretty much any and every sex toy you could dream of is that you tend to get a little jaded — a bit, 'been there, done that', when it comes to supposedly new vibes in town. It takes a lot for any fresh toy on the market to feel like a truly unique addition to my pleasure chest (AKA, the cardboard boxes of sex toys upon sex toys stashed under my bed). But when I heard 'snail', I thought, 'Okay, weird! I'm in'. Once my new toy arrived and it was time to take the goods for a spin, I had some second thoughts. I cannot overstate how much this thing truly does look like a snail, and suddenly the idea of putting a snail inside me sounded… less than arousing. Still, I was determined to branch out of my go-to, wand-forward self-love routine. And, if nothing else, this snail vibe was certainly bringing some novelty to the table. Not to mention, this baby makes some pretty big promises, boasting dual stimulation with the power of a wand vibrator (which — okay, love) paired with the internal stim of a G-spot vibe. And so, I decided to buck up and shove that 🐌 up my 🐱, all so I could report back to you, dear, curious reader. Keep right on reading to hear all about how it went. But first…. 'The snail vibe is a combo vibe that offers deep penetration, clitoral, and G-spot stimulation in one,' explains sex and relationships psychotherapist Gigi Engle, resident intimacy expert at 3Fun. 'It uses two motors — one for internal and one for external stimulation, in combination with a dildo-like shaft.'' There are two main models of snail vibrators: the Gizi, a more compact and more overtly snail-like option, and the OG, which features a longer shaft (and, in the 'curve' model, a curved, more ergonomic handle — neat!). But they essentially both work the same way. 'You turn on the motors and insert the toy vaginally,' says Engle. 'The internal motor delivers internal stimulation and the external bit gives external clitoral stimulation to the clitoris.' Makes sense in theory, but when you first lay eyes on the snail vibe, it can seem a little confusing. Allow this viral (SFW!!) video to make it make sense. Ultimately, the snail vibe is similar to a rabbit vibrator in that it offers dual stimulation, but is unique in its signature (snail-like) 'slide and roll' technology. The toy touts itself as 'a revolutionary vibrator that brings together the impressive power of a wand, full length of a dildo, and dual stimulation of a rabbit vibrator', making it, as Engle notes, 'kind of a one-stop shop — in theory, at least'. So does it live up to the hype? Let's find out! When I say I've seen a lot of sex toys in my time, I mean it — so it takes a lot for me to be impressed by what they have to offer. A hint for any aspiring sex tech creators out there: any toy that comes with its own case immediately scores points in my book. Thankfully, both the Curve and the Gizi do! Each comes in its own hard metallic silver zip case, which has handy velcro tabs inside to hold the toy and charger in place, plus there's an instruction manual in there. I decided to unbox both at the same time for a true side by side (and because two toys is better than one, let's BFFR). Right off the bat, Curve was pretty intimidating — and it took me a good while of turning it around to figure out which end was which (probs could've consulted the instructions at that point). Eventually, I realised the loop end serves as a handle, while the end with the larger snail 'curve' unfolds as you push it inside you. The handle is also, thankfully, where the buttons are — two sets, including one to control the five patterns and five speeds for each motor, making it extremely intuitive to use. Meanwhile, Gizi is a more manageable size and I knew immediately which end I would be inserting — plus I was drawn to the super textured ribs on the external section, as I could only imagine how that would feel rubbing against my clit. Naturally, this got me excited to get started, so once I'd given the toys a good scrub with my favourite sex toy cleaner, I added a heavy-handed layer of water-based lube and it was time to get into it! Let me just start by saying that internal toys have never been my go-to. If I want something in me, what I really want is, frankly, dick. When it comes to getting off on my own, my trusty wand vibe is my go-to. (Currently obsessed with the rechargeable Le Wand, if you were wondering.) Still, the snail vibe's promise of delivering wand-like power both internally and externally certainly piqued my interest. I decided to ease into things with the Gizi — a smaller, more compact option that seemed more beginner-friendly. It also looked more distinctly snail-like, so I (wrongly) assumed this was the original model. Anyway, this little guy had me immediately… underwhelmed. I felt like there wasn't enough insertable length without the longer shaft/handle of (what I later realised is) the original version, and the 'slide and roll' motion was tricky to replicate without a handle, so I found the toy fell out of place easily. I quickly gave up and switched to the original snail toy. I have the 'curve' model, which features a slightly curved shaft and a nice little handle. Here's another bit of snail sex toy lore for you. It is not only snail-like in appearance, but, according to the internet hype, delivers a slow build… followed by a massive orgasm. Once again, as someone who knows exactly what I like and how to get it done quickly, I initially felt kind of impatient with the 'slow and steady wins the race' vibes this vibe was delivering. This wasn't helped by the fact that the clitoral portion of the vibrator didn't quite hit my C-spot, so I had to hold it in place while thrusting the toy inside me. But once I found the right rhythm and combo of speeds and patterns (the first pattern on a low speed at the G-spot end and faster patterns on the C-spot), I will say this sneaky little snail ultimately delivered. As someone who 'knows myself' quite well (in the Biblical sense), it takes a lot for a self-administered orgasm to genuinely shake me up. And honestly, this did really feel like a pretty unique, multi-orgasmic sensation. That said, as a self-proclaimed clit stim slut, I do feel like the external motor — while definitely powerful — failed to deliver the direct clitoral stimulation I'm used to. The roly, external part of the toy kept slipping out of place unless I literally held it down, which was kind of annoying. For me, personally, a snail vibrator is not going to be my new go-to. That said, the original version did deliver some pretty life-changing orgasms — even if the external portion of the vibe needed a little manual assistance. If you're going to invest, definitely go with the original (or the Curve) over the more compact Gizi. Overall, if you love dual stim and/or are interested in trying out something that feels truly off-book, go forth and give the snail vibe a whirl. Having championed sex positivity for the last several decades (and before you were born, in some cases!) we're proud to say that we know what we're talking about when it comes to all things pleasure. As trusted voices in the sex space, we not only receive the 411 on the latest sex tech on the market, but have tested enough to make us (dare we say?) experts in the sex toy space. With a team of sex editors and writers on hand, we take product testing very seriously, looking for features such as power, speed, battery life, vibration modes, and whether the toy works in the shower or bath (should wet play be your vibe). We also consult sex educators and sexologists for their advice on how to use a vibrator as best we can, and the toys suited to every body, gender, and sexuality. Don't believe us? Read our backlog of sex toy round-ups and sex tech reviews as evidence that we well and truly know what we're talking about. Kayla Kibbe (she/her) is the Associate Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan US, where she covers all things sex, love, dating and relationships. She lives in Astoria, Queens and probably won't stop talking about how great it is if you bring it up. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Time of India
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Time of India
What is 'submarining'? A toxic dating trend making a comeback. How to spot it before it hurts you
Imagine talking to someone, building a connection, sharing your time—and then, poof! They vanish. Weeks or months pass, and out of nowhere, they reappear in your messages like nothing happened. No apology. No explanation. Just a casual 'Hey, how have you been?' If that scenario sounds all too familiar, you may have just been submarined —and dating experts say it's on the rise. The Sinister Side of 'Submarining' Like its naval namesake, this dating trend involves someone disappearing beneath the surface and re-emerging unannounced. Unlike ghosting, which is final, submarining carries a sting of emotional manipulation . The person ghosts you and then resurfaces in your life without addressing their disappearance. No guilt. No remorse. Just vibes. The term has gained serious traction—Google searches for 'submarining in dating' have reportedly surged by 350% in the US over the past year. And while the act isn't new, experts say it reflects a troubling lack of accountability in modern dating culture . iStock Like its naval namesake, submarining dating trend involves someone disappearing beneath the surface and re-emerging unannounced. (Representational image: iStock) Why Do People Submarine? Experts Explain the Motive According to author Gigi Engle, the motivations behind submarining are rarely sincere. 'They want someone to talk to and make them feel good about themselves,' she said in a recent interview with Men's Health . 'It's pretty unlikely that it's because this person actually cares about you.' It often stems from insecurity, boredom, or a romantic fallback plan gone awry. Dating coach Jonathan Bennett suggests many submarine attempts come after other relationships fizzle out. 'Since they don't want to admit the truth, whatever that is, they resort to submarining instead—and hope you fall for it,' he explained. You Might Also Like: 'Floodlighting' is the new dating trend Gen Z can't stop talking about. But why is it a red flag experts are warning against? How to Handle It: Should You Let Them Surface Again? So what should you do if someone suddenly pops back into your life like a texting torpedo? Experts suggest proceeding with caution. 'You can respond however you see fit,' Engle noted. 'If you really want to give this person another chance, that's up to you. Just be aware that this is likely not going to end well.' Submarining, at its core, is a form of emotional breadcrumbing—dropping just enough attention to keep someone hopeful, without offering anything meaningful. And unless you're looking for déjà vu heartbreak, most experts advise swimming the other way. 'If you're feeling gutsy,' Engle added, 'you can reply to their submarine text and tell them that this is a lame thing to do. If they wanted to chat, they shouldn't have been so rude in the first place.' You Might Also Like: AI can help you improve your dating experience. Tinder is making the platform creep-proof In the murky waters of modern dating, submarining is a painful reminder that not everyone navigates relationships with honesty or respect. Recognizing the signs—and learning to value your emotional well-being—can help you steer clear of this emotionally draining trend. Because if they went underwater once, chances are, they'll do it again.
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Toxic ‘submariner' daters resurface — like nothing ever happened: ‘Worse than ghosting'
First, they vanish into the dating deep. Then, months later, they're back in your DMs — like nothing ever happened. Welcome to the maddening world of 'submarining' — a toxic, resurfacing trend where ghosters pop up from your past, acting like their sudden radio silence was no biggie. 'They want someone to talk to and make them feel good about themselves,' Gigi Engle, certified sex coach and author of 'All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life,' previously told Men's Health. 'It's pretty unlikely that it's because this person actually cares about you.' They aren't exactly rare, either. Submariners — also known as 'zombie daters' — typically ghost without explanation, only to boomerang back into your life like nothing went wrong. Think: 'Hey, stranger' six months after you cried in your Uber home. 'People may choose to resurface for a lot of reasons, but more often than not, it's out of insecurity or boredom,' Engle said. Worse, they never acknowledge their vanishing act — no apology, no closure — just a creepy illusion that the last few months of your life didn't happen. According to Dr. Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., a psychology professor and relationship expert at it's not just flaky — it's prehistoric. 'Evolutionarily speaking, having 'backup mates' is a very common human mating strategy,' she told PureWow. 'Submariners often crave intimacy but are terrified of the vulnerability it requires,' she explained. 'A submariner wants to put somebody on the back burner so they can reach out to them later when they feel lonely.' However, experts warn: Don't bite when they breadcrumb. 'You've already grieved them for a while; just let them go and move on,' Engle advised. 'If someone is actually into you, they don't disappear out of nowhere.' Submarining joins a long list of bizarre and brutal dating behaviors swimming around the app era — ghosting, love-bombing, fizzing and, more recently, 'shallowing.' As The Post previously reported, 'shallowing' may sound like a harmless beach activity, but it's a rising sex trend involving playful 'outercourse' fun — and, yes, it's just as real as being haunted by your emotionally unavailable ex. Sexual wellness brand LELO even listed it as one of the top sex trends of 2024. In fact, a 2021 survey of more than 4,000 women — by Indiana University and intimacy site OMGYES — revealed that nearly 84% of U.S. women found increased pleasure from this intimate form of stimulation. While some are exploring shallow waters, others are diving deep into submarine-infested territory — and many are using tech to navigate both. 'It's important that anyone with questions about sex and pleasure can receive answers from trusted sources,' said Verena Singmann, spokesperson for sex-toy purveyor We-Vibe. 'Technology can be a helpful tool when it comes to sex and pleasure, but AI doesn't always know best when it comes to our sexual health and wellbeing.' Bottom line: When a former flame who ghosted you suddenly reemerges like they're starring in their own reboot, treat them like the shipwreck they are. They didn't just get 'busy.' They got bored — and experts say you deserve better than being someone's Plan B with Wi-Fi.
New York Post
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- New York Post
Toxic ‘submariner' daters resurface — like nothing ever happened: ‘Worse than ghosting'
First, they vanish into the dating deep. Then, months later, they're back in your DMs — like nothing ever happened. Welcome to the maddening world of 'submarining' — a toxic, resurfacing trend where ghosters pop up from your past, acting like their sudden radio silence was no biggie. Advertisement 4 Say hello to 'submarining' — the infuriating dating trend in which ghosters suddenly resurface like nothing ever happened. Mdv Edwards – 'They want someone to talk to and make them feel good about themselves,' Gigi Engle, certified sex coach and author of 'All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life,' previously told Men's Health. 'It's pretty unlikely that it's because this person actually cares about you.' Advertisement They aren't exactly rare, either. Submariners — also known as 'zombie daters' — typically ghost without explanation, only to boomerang back into your life like nothing went wrong. Think: 'Hey, stranger' six months after you cried in your Uber home. 4 Submariners — aka 'zombie daters' — vanish without warning, then suddenly pop back up in your DMs like their ghosting spree was totally chill. POOL/AFP via Getty Images 'People may choose to resurface for a lot of reasons, but more often than not, it's out of insecurity or boredom,' Engle said. Advertisement Worse, they never acknowledge their vanishing act — no apology, no closure — just a creepy illusion that the last few months of your life didn't happen. According to Dr. Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., a psychology professor and relationship expert at it's not just flaky — it's prehistoric. 'Evolutionarily speaking, having 'backup mates' is a very common human mating strategy,' she told PureWow. 'Submariners often crave intimacy but are terrified of the vulnerability it requires,' she explained. Advertisement 'A submariner wants to put somebody on the back burner so they can reach out to them later when they feel lonely.' However, experts warn: Don't bite when they breadcrumb. 4 Most submariners disappear without a trace, a ghostly gaslight that makes you question if those last few months even existed. Ester – 'You've already grieved them for a while; just let them go and move on,' Engle advised. 'If someone is actually into you, they don't disappear out of nowhere.' Submarining joins a long list of bizarre and brutal dating behaviors swimming around the app era — ghosting, love-bombing, fizzing and, more recently, 'shallowing.' As The Post previously reported, 'shallowing' may sound like a harmless beach activity, but it's a rising sex trend involving playful 'outercourse' fun — and, yes, it's just as real as being haunted by your emotionally unavailable ex. Advertisement Sexual wellness brand LELO even listed it as one of the top sex trends of 2024. In fact, a 2021 survey of more than 4,000 women — by Indiana University and intimacy site OMGYES — revealed that nearly 84% of U.S. women found increased pleasure from this intimate form of stimulation. While some are exploring shallow waters, others are diving deep into submarine-infested territory — and many are using tech to navigate both. 'It's important that anyone with questions about sex and pleasure can receive answers from trusted sources,' said Verena Singmann, spokesperson for sex-toy purveyor We-Vibe. Advertisement 'Technology can be a helpful tool when it comes to sex and pleasure, but AI doesn't always know best when it comes to our sexual health and wellbeing.' 4 Submarining is just the latest freaky fish in the toxic dating sea — right up there with ghosting, love-bombing, fizzing and the newest similarly named trend: 'shallowing.' kleberpicui – Bottom line: When a former flame who ghosted you suddenly reemerges like they're starring in their own reboot, treat them like the shipwreck they are. Advertisement They didn't just get 'busy.' They got bored — and experts say you deserve better than being someone's Plan B with Wi-Fi.
Cosmopolitan
23-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Cosmopolitan
Homemade sex toys — DIY sex toys to (safely) use at home
The idea of homemade sex toys and DIY sex toys can be kinda scary — especially if you've read some truly awful stories about people using household items during sex and suffering the consequences. And, TBF, some of these fears are justified: good quality sex toys need to be made from body-safe materials, so that you and your vulva are kept in tip top condition. But that doesn't mean DIY and homemade sex toys are totally out of the question. Stephanie Alys, sex expert and founder of MysteryVibe, explains there are some safe items you can fashion and use as sex toys. 'Recently we've seen the use of homemade sex toys and DIY sex toys rise, as people look for things to increase the intimacy and get sexy at home,' she says. 'Cucumbers, hair brushes, mobile phones… these are all things people have experimented with during masturbation. Firstly, I don't think any of us really want our mobile phone stuck inside us! Secondly — and most importantly — this is very dangerous. Inserting objects like this can upset the natural balances of your vagina and cause all sorts of infections.' That's not to say there aren't things at home that you can use to enhance your sex life. 'DIY toys can be especially fun for engaging in sensation play and kink,' says Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and resident intimacy expert at dating app, 3Fun. 'A wooden spoon can be great for spanking, ice cubes can provide different temperatures on the body, and a t-shirt can make a great blindfold.' She continues: 'DIY kink toys can be an interesting and budget-friendly way to explore more expansive sex with your partner. If you find something you really like, you can always invest in gear later. For example, if that wooden spoon gets you going like a train engine, you can always go out and buy a flogger or paddle later.' But with any DIY toys, it's important to consider the materials you're using. 'Wood, plastic, cotton (clothing), or ice are all all safe to use on the skin and body,' explains Engle. 'Essentially, it's just about using common sense. DIY toys won't be body safe for internal use, so this is something to keep in mind when you're looking to use them.' If you're looking for more than external sensation play, then, it's important to stick to body-safe sex toys from reputable brands (FYI: not Shein). So, how can you tell which toys are body-safe? 'When shopping for sex toys you want a toy that is made from body-safe or medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, or stainless steel,' continues Engle. 'You also want to consider buying toys that are USB rechargeable and waterproof. These toys are generally better quality and will last you a long time. Consider what kind of sensations you're looking to explore: Clit stimulation? Penis stimulation? G-spot? Dual stimulation? Knowing what you're trying to achieve with the toy can lead the way for what you want to buy.' Okay, now that's all cleared up, below Alys shares seven household items that can be used safely in sex — just remember: external play only! 'Tease and titillate your partner with the soft, delicate touch of a feather,' Alys suggests. 'Using feathers during sex is a great way to build anticipation and leave your partner gasping for your touch. Trace your lover's body with the feather to heighten their sensations, leaving nerve-endings tingling from head-to-toe.' Alys also says that if it's more intense pleasure you're after, you can try using a vibrator while your partner teases your neck, nipples, and inner thighs with a feather. Temperature play can be a really fun way to try out new sensations and increase sensitivity. 'Use an ice cube during oral sex, to tease nipples and create light puddles you can both lick off each other's bodies,' says Alys. 'Start by sucking an ice cube, before taking it out and giving your partner oral sex. At the same time, you can use that same ice cube to trace along their inner thighs. This mixture of hot and cold can really blow their mind.' Don't forget to take it in turns because trust us, being on the receiving end is amazing. If you don't have an old tie knocking around, you could also try a ribbon or a piece of fabric to use as a blindfold. 'Shutting one of your senses naturally intensifies the others, which means you'll be extra receptive to your partner's touch,' Alys says. Blindfolds are a great way to explore power during sex, giving you both a chance to play the dominant role. For lots of us, not being able to see also reduces inhibitions, which means you'll be less focused on your 'O face' and more focused on every movement your partner makes. 'Start by kissing their neck before nibbling their nipples and licking every inch of their body,' continues Alys. 'The teasing will drive them wild.' This one might sound as cliché as using your electric toothbrush, but ye olde shower head is much safer. 'There's a reason why masturbating in the bath or shower is so popular. Firstly, you're already naked… you're wet and slippery, you're relaxed and you have some time to yourself,' Alys says. 'Take the shower head and press it against your clitoris starting from cold to warm. If you have a fancy shower head with different intensity settings — now's your chance to finally try them out.' If you have a waterproof vibrator, you can also use this alongside the shower head for double the sensations. BTW: if your shower head is a little on the old side and you're thinking of upgrading it, might we recommend Womanizer's Wave? This may look like your average shower head, but it's actually a discreetly disguised clitoral stimulator, with a few (strategically placed) jets to offer pinpoint pressure — and pleasure. Want to know more? You can read our full review here. A scarf is an item of many talents, apparently. 'Ask your partner to tie your wrists together, or to your headboard, and try your own power play scenario,' suggests Alys. 'With your hands (and even your feet) tied, you won't have any say in where your partner touches or squeezes. This will leave you feeling exhilarated, begging them for more.' Just be sure to establish your boundaries and safe words before you start playing. 'The flexible design of a spatula makes for a very handy spanking tool,' Alys says. 'Simply bend over your partner's lap, or ask them to bend over you, and bite your lip as you prepare for the satisfying sensation of the spatula spanking your bottom.' 'If you want to be extra naughty, try using your favourite vibrator at the same time. This combination of pleasurable pain and your pulsating clitoris will quickly become a new favourite.' Some food cupboard and fridge items that you may have can work really well incorporated into your sexual experimentation. 'Honey, whipped cream, and melted chocolate can give you a completely new experience and, although it's messy, it engages all of your five senses,' Alys says. 'Remember that too much sugar around your vagina can encourage yeast, so keep the food play centred around your lips, nipples, tongue, neck, belly button, toes — whatever you're into.'
