Latest news with #FightingforourFriendships
USA Today
31-07-2025
- Entertainment
- USA Today
The 'Love Island' drama, allegations and when a friend group implodes
After JaNa Craig dumped fellow islander Kenny Rodriguez, the famous friend group of "Love Island USA" Season 6 took sides. Craig confirmed her relationship with Rodriguez was over, claiming the truth is more "disgusting" than any of the speculation that has flooded the internet. Rodriguez later replied via social media post that included "I release this chapter with no ill will." The sentiment wasn't shared by fellow islanders. Leah Kateb and Serena Page, and their respective partners, Miguel Harichi and Kordell Beckham, unfollowed Rodriguez on Instagram. Kateb alleged Rodriguez was racist. Olivia "Liv" Walker accused Rodriguez of chasing fame. Most of the cast of Peacock spinoff "Love Island: Beyond the Villa" are not following Rodriguez (who is on the show). USA TODAY reached out to Peacock for comment. The friend group will never be the same. Friends groups fizzle all the time. We move cities. Interest change. We replace half our friends every seven years. The door doesn't always shut forever. But sometimes a clean break is justified, according to Danielle Bayard Jackson, friendship educator and author of "Fighting for our Friendships." This is especially true in the case of allegations of toxic or abusive behavior, Jackson said. Even if that person extends goodwill, as Rodriguez did, we may need to step away to protect ourselves, as JaNa and the others did, she said. "We can recognize that a person feels remorseful and regretful of what they said, that a person was in a place of ignorance and unlearning certain ideas," Jackson said. "It doesn't absolve or protect you from the consequences that come with that." When friend groups fizzle A violation of trust can end a friend group, Jackson said. When foundational beliefs suddenly change, we feel emotionally and physically unsafe, Jackson said. Rescinding friendship isn't about punishment, though, Jackson said. "It's because 'I can't exist safely, freely, vulnerably and wholly with you.'" Jackson said she empathized with the "disillusionment" the islanders experience after trust is broken. "That is a psychological bending that can be really hard to navigate," Jackson said. 'Love Island USA' news: Cierra Ortega reveals if she will be at the 'Love Island: USA' reunion Friend groups should affirm how we want to be seen, Jackson said. For Craig, a Black woman with a highly visible platform, it's especially devastating that Rodriguez would threaten, rather than affirm, her identity, Jackson said. "I don't need you to be a Black person to be my friend," Jackson said of the role of race in friend groups. "But I need you to recognize that I am a Black woman." We don't always see this level of direct confrontation when a group member is accused of being dangerous, according to Jessica Calarco, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin. "Most will tend to continue the friendship," Calarco said. "This is because when someone close to us – or even similar to us – engages in violent or toxic behavior, we're less likely to blame them for their actions than we would be if we saw the same behavior from someone to whom we're not close." Gender factors, too: Friend groups can be a hugely instrumental for women escaping toxicity in a romantic relationship, according to Calarco. Meanwhile, for some men, friend groups can serve as a blanket defense, she said, with less liklihood of isolating individuals. This isn't always the case, but can often be direct confrontation doesn't occur. "If you think your friend did something terrible, you probably won't lobby to kick them out of the group unless you think that the rest of the group is already on your side," Calarco wrote. "Supporting friends through toxic breakups is also particularly hard for those who are also friends with the partner responsible for the abusive behavior, given the competing obligations involved." More: Why 'Love Island' star Kaylor Martin says she won't watch 'Beyond the Villa' As tempting as it is, don't pose ultimatums to friends, Jackson said. And don't assume friends will automatically be loyal – articulate what you want and let them act. Try saying: "If you can't do (insert behavior), I don't know how to stay friends." Forgiveness and unfriendly aren't mutally exclusive, Jackson said. "We can hold space and have empathy for someone who says they've grown," Jackson said. "In the same vein, we can choose not to be in relationships." Contributing: KiMi Robinson
USA Today
28-01-2025
- Entertainment
- USA Today
What makes a good friend? Follow this important 'golden rule'
What makes a good friend? Follow this important 'golden rule' Show Caption Hide Caption Comedian, influencer Sabrina Brier turns TikTok skits into audiobook Comedian and influencer Sabrina Brier chats exclusively with USA TODAY about her viral TikToks and new audiobook portraying friendships in New York. Sabrina Brier – who you know as that in-your-face, never-stops-talking "friend" from TikTok – has a new audiobook out now all about a friend group and how different personalities clash. It's fictional, but Brier, 30, draws from feelings she's had to make a compelling story. And it's evident she's had plenty of experience with friendship. "I have a lot of different kinds of friends," she explains. "I went to a camp, so I've got that whole community. I have a community from college, from home, and then of course you move to New York and then that just expands in a major way." Keeping up with all these friends, though, is harder than it looks. "Like any relationship, friendships are a two-way street," Carla Marie Manly, host of podcast "Imperfect Love" and author of "The Joy of Imperfect Love," previously told USA TODAY. "If both people aren't invested in making the relationship viable in the long run, the friendship will falter over time." Hmm: Online, people are complaining about 'avoidant discard': It's 'a more intimate' ghosting 'You might not see them for a year or two' Brier devoted all her time to her friends in her early 20s. That's changed as she's aged. "Something that's really important to me is I don't want to be the person who's old and hasn't kept up with any of my friends," she says. "I want to be friends with my friends forever. But sometimes part of that is having that understanding that you have a really good friend, you might not see them for a year or two and you're going to have to figure out how to FaceTime and then eventually figure out how to visit each other." Some people will stagnate in their lives and expect the same of their friendships. Others will grow and likely want something more. You might even harbor a lot of feelings for someone but still not want to devote that much time to them, or you just don't have any to give. That's OK. "If you find yourself losing interest, you still care for this person, but aren't as interested in those updates because it doesn't feel relevant to where you are, and you feel the engagement drop in that way, that could be a sign as well," Danielle Bayard Jackson, friendship educator and author of "Fighting for our Friendships," previously told USA TODAY. Did you see? Jake Shane's popularity skyrocketed overnight. So did his anxiety. 'The golden rule' of friendship Judging a friendship by how long it lasted, or the fact it didn't last forever, is not necessarily the best metric to use when thinking about your friends. Is a successful friendship one that never ends? Or one where you two really loved each other during the time you were together? Experts say friendship circles change over time, too. One study even found that we tend to replace half our friends every seven years. How do you know if a friendship is going to work out? Follow "the golden rule." "If someone is rooting for you and they want you to win in whatever way that means to you in your career, in your love life, in your happiness, I think that's really the true marker of what a good friend is," Brier says. "And not just say we don't make a million mistakes outside of that, but I think at the end of the day, if you can feel from that person, 'I love you and I want you to win,' those are the friendships I try to keep in my corner for sure."
