29-01-2025
Indy's WWE Royal Rumble will be the greatest day of my life
Many parents talk about the fulfillment and joy they feel holding their child for the first time. The sense of relief and love that washes over, a feeling they never knew nor could expect. That sounds pretty good.
But have those people ever seen CM Punk lay the Go to Sleep on Drew McIntyre in front of 65,000 delirious members of the WWE universe during the Royal Rumble in Lucas Oil Stadium?
Though parenthood is beautiful and challenging, it is hardly unique. A lot of people have had kids, including, probably, your parents. Look how that turned out!
The Royal Rumble in Indianapolis is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see the greatest sports entertainers practice their craft at the highest level. People are going to jump off stuff, do body slams and probably throw someone through a table. Babies cannot and should not do that. Leave it to the pros, babies.
Time to come clean: I've never experienced the joys or the sorrows of parenthood. I have a cat who throws up on the couch sometimes. It's not comparable.
Briggs: WWE's Royal Rumble is scripted chaos at its best
However, I have gotten married. I've achieved some degree of professional and personal success. I've seen friends overcome hardship, my wife learn to walk after a surgery (it was for bunions, but still) and my cat not throw up on the couch. I have been lucky to see both the natural splendor of the Rocky Mountains and the transcendental beauty of Notre Dame Cathedral.
I have lived a full and very lucky life.
That said.
None of that will be able to touch the thrill of seeing John Cena run to the ring in a pair of ill-fitting jorts and doing the 'You Can't See Me' thing to Sami Zayn, probably. What if Rhea Ripley Rip Tides somebody like Dirty Dom into a big chicken nugget? What if new lucha superstar Penta (short for Pentagon Jr., honest to God) jumps off something super high and does a big flip? Can you imagine how exhilarating that will be?
I can. And I have.
In a few short days, I will be trembling with excitement inside of Lucas Oil Stadium. I will be transported by the buff men and women of WWE outside of myself, outside of the comparatively mundane existence that I've called life.
My only question, my only fear, is what will life look like on Sunday morning? After the confetti has fallen, after the ring is packed up, after the lights turn off and the Rumble has Royaled?
John Gallo lives on the Near Eastside with his wife and cat. He is on several nonprofit boards and spends his free time reading difficult novels.
This article originally appeared on Indianapolis Star: Will John Cena be at the Royal Rumble? Yes, and so will I. | Opinion
