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Scottish Sun
18 hours ago
- Health
- Scottish Sun
The 9 life-saving questions to ask your partner, dad or brother NOW – without being accused of nagging
Read on for tips for navigating a defensive partner MAN ALIVE The 9 life-saving questions to ask your partner, dad or brother NOW – without being accused of nagging Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) FATHER'S Day is all about appreciating the men in our lives, whether they're husbands, dads or grandads. And the best present you can give them? 4 We have nine life-saving questions to ask the man in your life To talk about their health. Men are notorious for avoiding the GP – almost half feel under pressure to 'tough it out' when it comes to health worries, and one in three feel that speaking about their health issues threatens to make them look weak, according to the Office for National Statistics' Health Insight Survey of 1,000 men. But women can help nudge them. 'We get a lot of men saying they're coming in because their partner's told them to,' says Dr Rachel Ward, GP at Woodlands Medical Centre in Didcot. So, this Father's Day, take our quiz with your loved one to help turn their health around. 1. Are you exercising? Regular exercise is one of the best things you can do for your health – physically and mentally. 'People underestimate how much healthier you feel,' says Dr Ward. It can also improve sleep, eating habits and your sex life. WHAT NEXT? The NHS says you should do 150 minutes of moderate, or 75 minutes of vigorous, exercise a week. How women can give their man a health MOT Don't know where to start? 'A half-hour afternoon walk will transform your day,' says Dr Ward, who recommends doing this five times a week. 2. Have you checked your vitals? 'High blood pressure or cholesterol predisposes you to heart attack and stroke, but it is a silent disease – frequently, you won't have symptoms,' says Dr Ward. 'It's important to get blood pressure and cholesterol checked, because they can be doing damage, even though you're oblivious.' 4 It's important to keep your blood pressure in check WHAT NEXT? 'Pharmacists offer free blood pressure tests, and from age 40, you can have the NHS Health Check, which checks blood pressure and cholesterol, and for diabetes,' says Dr Ward 3. Have you had any ongoing pain? We all have a little pain here and there. 'If you had knee pain and you were older with some arthritis, it's less concerning,' says Dr Ward. 'But chronic pain is not good and affects mobility and mood. "You shouldn't just soldier on. Certain pains could relate to an underlying cancer.' For example, abdominal pain could be caused by pancreatic or bowel cancer. WHAT NEXT? If you have a new pain that's not going away, get it checked out by a GP. 4. Have you thought about stopping smoking? Newsflash – smoking is really bad for you. 'It's a huge risk factor for multiple cancers, but also heart disease and stroke,' says Dr Ward. It is bad for every organ system and it can kill you.' 4 Smoking is a huge risk factor for multiple cancers, but also heart disease and stroke WHAT NEXT? 'It's a really difficult thing to give up,' Dr Ward says. 'But you've got a much higher chance of being successful if you get help.' Local free NHS stop-smoking services are a great starting point. 5. Who do you talk to when you're overwhelmed? 'Men, especially older generations, are still not great at admitting to themselves when they're feeling overwhelmed,' says Dr Ward. 'Men are less likely to talk about it with mates than women are.' But it's vital that they do get talking – 75% of those who die by suicide in the UK are male.* WHAT NEXT? 'Thinking: 'Who is a person I can trust?' is a healthy conversation to have, even if you are feeling well,' says Dr Ward. Visit which runs free mental health sessions, and Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123. 6. Have you weighed yourself recently? Obesity is a key driver of diabetes and heart disease, according to the World Health Organisation. 'But people don't realise how much of a predisposing factor it is for cancer,' says Dr Ward. 'It has a massive impact on every aspect of health.' WHAT NEXT? Suggest the whole family look at creating healthier habits, such as daily walks or preparing meals together from scratch. GPs may be able to refer you to free NHS weight services. 7. Do you pee easily? While getting up in the night to wee, hesitancy, reduced flow and dribbling are associated with ageing, Dr Ward warns: 'They can also be symptoms of prostate cancer,' which is the most common cancer in men in the UK. Other symptoms are feeling like the bladder has not fully emptied and blood in urine or semen. However, many men do not have symptoms, especially in the early stages of disease, so it is vital to be aware of the risk, which increases with age. 'If you have a family history and if you are black, you have increased risk,' says Dr Ward. Thankfully, caught early, the disease is manageable. WHAT NEXT? 'New or worsening symptoms should be a trigger to speak to your GP and get your prostate checked,' says Dr Ward, who adds that men should not feel embarrassed. 'Urinary and bowel symptoms are bread and butter for us.' Use the risk checker at Prostatecancer or talk to your GP. 8. How are things in the bedroom? Admittedly, this is probably one to ask your partner, rather than your dad! But sexual dysfunction is not something to be brushed off. 4 Sexual dysfunction can be a sign of prostate cancer, diabetes, or mental health problems 'It can be a sign of prostate cancer, diabetes, mental health problems and relationship issues,' says Dr Ward. It can also warn of heart health issues. WHAT NEXT? Men should always speak to their GP about erectile dysfunction. It can be caused by other medications, so a GP can consider alternatives, while Viagra is available over the counter in pharmacies. 9. How much are you drinking? There are huge health repercussions from excess drinking, says Dr Ward. 'It increases the risk of cancer, liver disease, cognitive impairment, mood and more.' The NHS-recommended limit is up to 14 units spread over one week, the equivalent of around six pints of average-strength beer. WHAT NEXT? If you are worried about a loved one's drinking, start with a chat about it. Avoid judgement and instead express concern, care and support. Encourage them to use resources such as the DrinkControl: Alcohol Tracker app, Alcohol Change UK, or to see their GP. Don't be a nag (but do get results) Sex therapist and head of clinical practice at Relate, Ammanda Major, shares her tips for navigating a defensive partner. Skip the guilt trip. 'Try speaking from a caring position instead,' says Ammanda. 'Avoid negative statements like: 'You never go to the doctor.'' Instead, invite conversation with caring language. 'Say: 'I really love you and I feel a bit concerned. "I wondered whether it'd be an idea to see the doctor. What do you think?' "Don't blame, and be curious about the responses.' Find a quiet moment to address the issue. 'Don't bring it up mid-row,' says Ammanda. Unlock even more award-winning articles as The Sun launches brand new membership programme - Sun Club.
The Irish Sun
18 hours ago
- Health
- The Irish Sun
The 9 life-saving questions to ask your partner, dad or brother NOW – without being accused of nagging
FATHER'S Day is all about appreciating the men in our lives, whether they're husbands, dads or grandads. And the best present you can give them? Advertisement 4 We have nine life-saving questions to ask the man in your life To talk about their health. Men are notorious for avoiding the GP – almost half feel under pressure to 'tough it out' when it comes to health worries, and one in three feel that speaking about their health issues threatens to make them look weak, according to the Office for National Statistics' Health Insight Survey of 1,000 men. But women can help nudge them. 'We get a lot of men saying they're coming in because their partner's told them to,' says Dr Rachel Ward, GP at Woodlands Medical Centre in Didcot. Advertisement READ MORE HEALTH NEWS So, this Father's Day, take our quiz with your loved one to help turn their health around. 1. Are you exercising? Regular exercise is one of the best things you can do for your health – physically and mentally. 'People underestimate how much healthier you feel,' says Dr Ward. It can also improve sleep, eating habits and your sex life. Advertisement Most read in Men's Health Exclusive WHAT NEXT? The NHS says you should do 150 minutes of moderate, or 75 minutes of vigorous, exercise a week. How women can give their man a health MOT Don't know where to start? 'A 2. Have you checked your vitals? ' Advertisement 'It's important to get blood pressure and 4 It's important to keep your blood pressure in check WHAT NEXT? 'Pharmacists offer free blood pressure tests, and from age 40, you can have the NHS Health Check, which checks blood pressure and cholesterol, and for diabetes,' says Dr Ward 3. Have you had any ongoing pain? We all have a little pain here and there. Advertisement 'If you had knee pain and you were older with some 'But chronic pain is not good and affects mobility and mood. "You shouldn't just soldier on. Certain pains could relate to an underlying cancer.' For example, abdominal pain could be caused by pancreatic or bowel cancer. Advertisement WHAT NEXT? If you have a new pain that's not going away, get it checked out by a GP. 4. Have you thought about stopping smoking? Newsflash – smoking is really bad for you. 'It's a huge risk factor for multiple cancers, but also heart disease and stroke,' says Dr Ward. It is bad for every organ system and it can kill you.' 4 Smoking is a huge risk factor for multiple cancers, but also heart disease and stroke Advertisement WHAT NEXT? 'It's a really difficult thing to give up,' Dr Ward says. 'But you've got a much higher chance of being successful if you get help.' Local free NHS stop-smoking services are a great starting point. 5. Who do you talk to when you're overwhelmed? 'Men, especially older generations, are still not great at admitting to themselves when they're feeling overwhelmed,' says Dr Ward. Advertisement 'Men are less likely to talk about it with mates than women are.' But it's vital that they do get talking – 75% of those who die by suicide in the UK are male.* WHAT NEXT? 'Thinking: 'Who is a person I can trust?' is a healthy conversation to have, even if you are feeling well,' says Dr Ward. Visit which runs free mental health sessions, and Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123. Advertisement 6. Have you weighed yourself recently? Obesity is a key driver of diabetes and heart disease, according to the World Health Organisation. 'But people don't realise how much of a predisposing factor it is for cancer,' says Dr Ward. 'It has a massive impact on every aspect of health.' WHAT NEXT? Suggest the whole family look at creating healthier habits, such as daily walks or preparing meals together from scratch. Advertisement GPs may be able to refer you to free NHS weight services. 7. Do you pee easily? While Other symptoms are feeling like the bladder has not fully emptied and blood in urine or semen. However, many men do not have symptoms, especially in the early stages of disease, so it is vital to be aware of the risk, which increases with age. Advertisement 'If you have a family history and if you are black, you have increased risk,' says Dr Ward. Thankfully, caught early, the disease is manageable. WHAT NEXT? 'New or worsening symptoms should be a trigger to speak to your GP and get your prostate checked,' says Dr Ward, who adds that men should not feel embarrassed. 'Urinary and bowel symptoms are bread and butter for us.' Advertisement Use the risk checker at Prostatecancer or talk to your GP. 8. How are things in the bedroom? Admittedly, this is probably one to ask your partner, rather than your dad! But sexual dysfunction is not something to be brushed off. 4 Sexual dysfunction can be a sign of prostate cancer, diabetes, or mental health problems Advertisement 'It can be a sign of prostate cancer, diabetes, mental health problems and relationship issues,' says Dr Ward. It can also warn of heart health issues. WHAT NEXT? Men should always speak to their GP about erectile dysfunction. It can be caused by other medications, so a GP can consider alternatives, while Advertisement 9. How much are you drinking? There are huge health repercussions from excess drinking, says Dr Ward. 'It increases the risk of cancer, liver disease, cognitive impairment, mood and more.' The WHAT NEXT? If you are worried about a loved one's drinking, start with a chat about it. Advertisement Avoid judgement and instead express concern, care and support. Encourage them to use resources such as the DrinkControl: Alcohol Tracker app, Alcohol Change UK, or to see their GP. Don't be a nag (but do get results) Sex therapist and head of clinical practice at Relate, Ammanda Major, shares her tips for navigating a defensive partner. Skip the guilt trip. 'Try speaking from a caring position instead,' says Ammanda. Advertisement 'Avoid negative statements like: 'You never go to the doctor.'' Instead, invite conversation with caring language. 'Say: 'I really love you and I feel a bit concerned. "I wondered whether it'd be an idea to see the doctor. What do you think?' "Don't blame, and be curious about the responses.' Advertisement Find a quiet moment to address the issue. 'Don't bring it up mid-row,' says Ammanda. Unlock even more award-winning articles as The Sun launches brand new membership programme - Sun Club.
BBC News
22-04-2025
- Health
- BBC News
These men put off doctor's visits again and again. Then came a tipping point
Two years ago, Dan Somers started to experience a series of strange and unexplained symptoms. He had severe chest pain, was unable to keep food or even water down and kept "chucking up bile". Though he had a sense that something might be wrong, Dan was reluctant to seek medical help. "I'm really stubborn when it comes down to going to the doctors," the 43-year-old from Ipswich tells the BBC. "I didn't want to be a burden." Dan's pain continued to get worse, until he was "near enough screaming on the floor in pain" and had to take time off work. It was the worst pain he's ever experienced, he says upon reflection. But "I honestly thought I could try and fix it," Dan recalls. It was his wife who finally managed to push Dan to see the doctor. His GP sent him straight to hospital, where he was diagnosed with a gallbladder infection and spent a week recovering. He was told he had been close to getting sepsis. Dan's story mirrors those of other men who've told the BBC they've also put off seeking medical treatment - often until their symptoms became unbearable or until a loved one pushed them to get help. It's well known that men go to the doctors less than women, and data backs this up. The NHS told the BBC it doesn't release demographic data about GP appointments. But according to the ONS Health Insight Survey from February, commissioned by NHS England, 45.8% of women compared to just 33.5% of men had attempted to make contact with their GP practice for themselves or someone else in their household in the last 28 days. Men were more likely to say they weren't registered at a dental practice and "rarely or never" used a pharmacy, too. They also make up considerably fewer hospital outpatient appointments than women, even when pregnancy-related appointments are discounted. Men are "less likely to attend routine appointments and more likely to delay help-seeking until symptoms interfere with daily function," says Paul Galdas, professor of men's health at the University of York. This all affects men's health outcomes. Experts say there's a long list of reasons why men might put off seeking medical help, and new survey data from the NHS suggests that concerns about how they are perceived come into play. In the survey, 48% of male respondents agreed they felt a degree of pressure to "tough it out" when it came to potential health issues, while a third agreed they felt talking about potential health concerns might make others see them as weak. The poll heard from almost 1,000 men in England in November and December 2024. Society associates masculinity with traits like self-reliance, independence and not showing vulnerability, says social psychologist Prof Brendan Gough of Leeds Beckett University. "Men are traditionally supposed to sort things out themselves". "It's worrying to see just how many men still feel unable to talk about their health concerns," says Dr Claire Fuller, NHS medical director for primary care. She notes that men can be reluctant to seek medical support for mental health and for changes in their bodies that could be signs of cancer. "GPs are often the best way to access the help they need," she adds. 'Men are inherent problem-solvers' Kevin McMullan says he's learned from working for men's mental health charity ManHealth that men want to solve their own problems. He says he struggled with his mental health for years before he finally got help. "You want to fix it yourself. Men are inherent problem-solvers and how you are feeling is a problem in the same way that having a flat tyre is a problem," says Kevin, 44, from Sedgefield in County Durham. This is something that the Health Insights Survey indicates, too. The data suggests that when people were unable to contact their GP practice, men were significantly more likely than women to report "self-managing" their condition, while women were more likely than men to go to a pharmacy or call 111. "Many men feel that help-seeking threatens their sense of independence or competence," Prof Galdas says. Prof Galdas points to other factors deterring men from going to the doctors, like appointment systems that don't fit around their working patterns. Services also rely on talking openly about problems, he suggests, which doesn't reflect how men speak about health concerns - and there are no fixed check-ups targeting younger men. Women, in contrast, are "sort of forced to engage in the health system" because they might seek appointments related to menstruation, contraception, cervical screenings or pregnancy, says Seb Pillon, a GP in Bolton. And they're largely in control of organising their family's healthcare, too. For example, roughly 90% of the people who contacted the children's sleep charity Sleep Action for help in the last six months were mums, grandmothers and other women in the children's lives, its head of service Alyson O'Brien says. Because women are more integrated in the healthcare system - through seeking support for both themselves and their children - they're more health-literate and are often the driving force behind their partners seeking medical help, according to Prof Galdas. And men just have a different attitude towards healthcare, Dr Pillon says. He believes many see it solely as treatment - solving their problems - rather than preventative. Men are, for example, less likely to take part in the NHS's bowel cancer screening programme. As Prof Galdas says: "men often seek help when symptoms disrupt their ability to function." 'Massive waste of time' For Jonathan Anstee, 54, from Surrey, it took his symptoms getting drastically worse for him to book a doctors appointment, after months of stomach aches and blood in his stool. "The pain got a lot worse and the blood got a lot worse," Jonathan says. "But even when I went to the doctors, I was sat in the waiting room thinking 'this is a massive waste of time'." He was diagnosed with bowel cancer in September 2022. Throughout his life he'd generally avoided doctors appointments, Jonathan says. And as a father, "you're used to worrying about your kids and not yourself," he says. Going to the doctors for himself, not his children, seemed "a bit sort of indulgent", he says. Last year, Jonathan was told his bowel cancer was stage four. Having blood in his stool had felt too embarrassing to talk to his friends and family about at the time. Jonathan's advice to other men is: "There is absolutely no need to be embarrassed. The alternative could kill you - literally." 'Connection can make a big difference' In recent years, support groups for men with cancer and mental health conditions have sprung up. Matthew Wiltshire started the men's charity the Cancer Club after being diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2015. He died in 2023. Matthew felt there wasn't a space "where men were openly talking about what it's like to go through cancer," his son, Oliver Wiltshire, says. "He also noticed how much of the emotional load was being carried by the women around him." Through the Cancer Club, men can message online and attend sports events together. "Whether it's practical advice, honest chat or just knowing someone else gets it, that connection can make a big difference," Oliver adds. Experts say that while men's attitudes towards healthcare are gradually changing for the better, more work still needs to be done. Prof Galdas believes men will engage more if services are redesigned to meet their needs - proactively offering support, having flexible access and focusing on practical action to improve mental health issues. "There's good evidence from gender-responsive programmes in mental health, cancer care, and health checks showing this consistently," he says. For Dr Pillon, it's adding general health checks for men in their 20s to get them more used to accessing medical care. They're already available through the NHS for people aged 40 to 74, but introducing them for younger men who might not otherwise go to the doctors would "embed the idea that you can come and use health services", he says. If you have been affected by some of the issues raised in this story, information and support can be found at the BBC's Action Line.
BBC News
21-04-2025
- Health
- BBC News
Men's health: Why do men go to the GP less?
Two years ago, Dan Somers started to experience a series of strange and unexplained symptoms. He had severe chest pain, was unable to keep food or even water down and kept "chucking up bile".Though he had a sense that something might be wrong, Dan was reluctant to seek medical help. "I'm really stubborn when it comes down to going to the doctors," the 43-year-old from Ipswich tells the BBC. "I didn't want to be a burden."Dan's pain continued to get worse, until he was "near enough screaming on the floor in pain" and had to take time off work. It was the worst pain he's ever experienced, he says upon "I honestly thought I could try and fix it," Dan was his wife who finally managed to push Dan to see the GP sent him straight to hospital, where he was diagnosed with a gallbladder infection and spent a week recovering. He was told he had been close to getting story mirrors those of other men who've told the BBC they've also put off seeking medical treatment - often until their symptoms became unbearable or until a loved one pushed them to get help. It's well known that men go to the doctors less than women, and data backs this NHS told the BBC it doesn't release demographic data about GP appointments. But according to the ONS Health Insight Survey from February, commissioned by NHS England, 45.8% of women compared to just 33.5% of men had attempted to make contact with their GP practice for themselves or someone else in their household in the last 28 were more likely to say they weren't registered at a dental practice and "rarely or never" used a pharmacy, also make up considerably fewer hospital outpatient appointments than women, even when pregnancy-related appointments are are "less likely to attend routine appointments and more likely to delay help-seeking until symptoms interfere with daily function," says Paul Galdas, professor of men's health at the University of all affects men's health say there's a long list of reasons why men might put off seeking medical help, and new survey data from the NHS suggests that concerns about how they are perceived come into the survey, 48% of male respondents agreed they felt a degree of pressure to "tough it out" when it came to potential health issues, while a third agreed they felt talking about potential health concerns might make others see them as weak. The poll heard from almost 1,000 men in England in November and December associates masculinity with traits like self-reliance, independence and not showing vulnerability, says social psychologist Prof Brendan Gough of Leeds Beckett University. "Men are traditionally supposed to sort things out themselves"."It's worrying to see just how many men still feel unable to talk about their health concerns," says Dr Claire Fuller, NHS medical director for primary care. She notes that men can be reluctant to seek medical support for mental health and for changes in their bodies that could be signs of cancer."GPs are often the best way to access the help they need," she adds. 'Men are inherent problem-solvers' Kevin McMullan says he's learned from working for men's mental health charity ManHealth that men want to solve their own problems. He says he struggled with his mental health for years before he finally got help."You want to fix it yourself. Men are inherent problem-solvers and how you are feeling is a problem in the same way that having a flat tyre is a problem," says Kevin, 44, from Sedgefield in County is something that the Health Insights Survey indicates, too. The data suggests that when people were unable to contact their GP practice, men were significantly more likely than women to report "self-managing" their condition, while women were more likely than men to go to a pharmacy or call 111."Many men feel that help-seeking threatens their sense of independence or competence," Prof Galdas says. Prof Galdas points to other factors deterring men from going to the doctors, like appointment systems that don't fit around their working also rely on talking openly about problems, he suggests, which doesn't reflect how men speak about health concerns - and there are no fixed check-ups targeting younger men. Women, in contrast, are "sort of forced to engage in the health system" because they might seek appointments related to menstruation, contraception, cervical screenings or pregnancy, says Seb Pillon, a GP in they're largely in control of organising their family's healthcare, too. For example, roughly 90% of the people who contacted the children's sleep charity Sleep Action for help in the last six months were mums, grandmothers and other women in the children's lives, its head of service Alyson O'Brien women are more integrated in the healthcare system - through seeking support for both themselves and their children - they're more health-literate and are often the driving force behind their partners seeking medical help, according to Prof men just have a different attitude towards healthcare, Dr Pillon says. He believes many see it solely as treatment - solving their problems - rather than preventative. Men are, for example, less likely to take part in the NHS's bowel cancer screening programme. As Prof Galdas says: "men often seek help when symptoms disrupt their ability to function." 'Massive waste of time' For Jonathan Anstee, 54, from Surrey, it took his symptoms getting drastically worse for him to book a doctors appointment, after months of stomach aches and blood in his stool."The pain got a lot worse and the blood got a lot worse," Jonathan says. "But even when I went to the doctors, I was sat in the waiting room thinking 'this is a massive waste of time'." He was diagnosed with bowel cancer in September his life he'd generally avoided doctors appointments, Jonathan says. And as a father, "you're used to worrying about your kids and not yourself," he says. Going to the doctors for himself, not his children, seemed "a bit sort of indulgent", he year, Jonathan was told his bowel cancer was stage blood in his stool had felt too embarrassing to talk to his friends and family about at the time. Jonathan's advice to other men is: "There is absolutely no need to be embarrassed. The alternative could kill you - literally." 'Connection can make a big difference' In recent years, support groups for men with cancer and mental health conditions have sprung Wiltshire started the men's charity the Cancer Club after being diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2015. He died in felt there wasn't a space "where men were openly talking about what it's like to go through cancer," his son, Oliver Wiltshire, says. "He also noticed how much of the emotional load was being carried by the women around him."Through the Cancer Club, men can message online and attend sports events together."Whether it's practical advice, honest chat or just knowing someone else gets it, that connection can make a big difference," Oliver adds. Experts say that while men's attitudes towards healthcare are gradually changing for the better, more work still needs to be Galdas believes men will engage more if services are redesigned to meet their needs - proactively offering support, having flexible access and focusing on practical action to improve mental health issues."There's good evidence from gender-responsive programmes in mental health, cancer care, and health checks showing this consistently," he Dr Pillon, it's adding general health checks for men in their 20s to get them more used to accessing medical care. They're already available through the NHS for people aged 40 to 74, but introducing them for younger men who might not otherwise go to the doctors would "embed the idea that you can come and use health services", he you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this story, information and support can be found at the BBC's Action Line.
