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National Post
10-08-2025
- National Post
Terry Newman: Let's talk about post-sex regret, baby
Post-sex regret is not a bad thing in itself. It is a normal, and even potentially constructive, emotion. While the feeling of a regretted sexual act or entire encounter is experienced negatively, it also creates an opportunity to reflect and change our behaviours to avoid future regret. It becomes a problem when an individual, without having voiced any objection during an act or encounter, takes that feeling of post-sex regret and hurls it as an accusation toward an unsuspecting sexual partner. Article content Article content To me, this is a likely part of the dynamic in the Hockey Canada trial, which concluded late July with the acquittal of five players accused of sexual assault and had devastating effects on the lives of everyone involved. Article content Article content The trial led to the complete disruption of the lives of five junior hockey players: Michael McLeod, Carter Hart, Alex Formenton, Dillon Dubé and Cal Foote. Four of the five players lost active contracts with the NHL when they were charged in 2024. They are all barred from playing in the league, pending a review of Justice Maria Carroccia's decision, which ruled that their accuser, E.M., was not credible or reliable and that she had given 'actual consent not vitiated by fear.' Article content This ruling was based on evidence that E.M. had not only consented, but was an active participant who made sexual requests of the players. According to the testimony of Tyler Steenbergen, one of the players who was present that night but not charged, 20-year-old E.M. laid on a sheet at one point masturbating, on her own accord, demanded sex from the 18 and 19-year-olds, and called them 'pu–ies' when they declined her offer. E.M. even agreed with another player who recounted that she took on a 'porn star' persona. The judge found that this evidence helped establish that E.M. had 'communicated her willingness to engage in sexual activity' that night. Article content Article content One consent video was recorded of E.M. smiling and saying, 'I'm OK with this.' It was taken without her knowledge and the judge found it convincing enough to say, 'It presumably depicts how she was behaving at the time. She was speaking normally, she was smiling and did not appear to be upset or in distress. She did not appear to be intoxicated.' Article content Article content A second video was recorded at 4 a.m. in which E.M. said, 'It was all consensual,' multiple times, smiling. 'Would you … You are so paranoid, holy. I enjoyed it. It was fine. It was all consensual. I am so sober that's why I can't do this right now.' Article content To me, it looks like the complications came from what happened during and after her advances. Article content One player testified that he was shocked by E.M.'s boldness and had laughed awkwardly at her ' offers.' She testified that she was offended when one of the players asked if 'she was sure she did not have any STDs,' considered this 'disrespectful' and ' rude.' E.M. was bothered by the fact that they seemed annoyed when she came back to the room to look for a lost ring. E.M. also testified that she had a boyfriend at the time and felt guilty about cheating on him.
Toronto Star
31-07-2025
- Toronto Star
Teaching boys to respect the opposite sex starts at home
After the Hockey Canada trial, here's what we need to teach our young men, June 25 The primary responsibility for teaching boys to respect women and girls starts at home with the parents and continues through school. This is the beginning of a journey that will lead to respecting the people who we will interact with for the rest of our lives. The outcome of the 'Hockey Canada Trial' — as it has come to be known — seems to indicate that just because a sexual activity may be legal should not necessarily mean that it is right or morally acceptable. When young adult men have become conditioned to be positive and respectful, it is highly unlikely they will deviate from this norm. ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW Robert Ariano, Scarborough How about teaching women to respect themselves? After the Hockey Canada trial, here's what we need to teach our young men, June 25 Teach women to respect themselves, is my response to Elizabeth Renzetti's article. Justice Maria Carroccia correctly stated it is not the function of the court to deal with the morality or the decency of those involved. While I don't condone the behaviour of the young men in this case, this young woman walked away with $3 million from a civil case and her identity protected while she destroyed the reputations of five other persons. She gets no sympathy from me. Francine D. McMullen, Etobicoke In Canada if you can score goals this sort of behaviour is OK So, the hockey players were found not guilty. Hmm. When I was younger, I never had a one-night stand/date, where afterwards I invited my team, buddies, co-workers over to have sex with her. I never went on a date where afterwards I had to collaborate with five or six other guys to get our stories straight. But it's Canada and if you can score goals, that kind of stuff is OK. Entitlement on one side. Victim blaming on the other. Mark Yates, Elmira, Ontario In Hockey Canada trial, silence was a strategy If the accused in the Hockey Canada trial walk free, this will be the reason why, July 23 Anne Bokma makes an excellent point that under Canada's legal system the complainant in a sexual assault trial is required to take the stand to testify and be cross-examined by defence whereas the defendants are allowed to be silent. How is this fair? ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW The defendant already has a significant advantage in a criminal trial as the Crown must prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. Is it not reasonable that the Crown be allowed to call the defendant to the stand and also be questioned under oath? While this likely would not have changed the findings of not guilty in this Hockey Canada case, it puts the trial on a more equal footing for the complainant. It's no wonder so few women who are sexually assaulted come forward. Robert D. Domoney, Richmond Hill Column twists professional integrity into moral betrayal Why would female lawyers represent men in sexual crimes? July 28 The piece opens with a perfunctory nod to the presumption of innocence, only to spend the rest of its length undermining that very principle. But the presumption of innocence is not a legal technicality — it is a pillar of justice in a democratic society. It guarantees that every person, regardless of the charge, has the right to a fair trial and to be defended against the full weight of the state. Without this, our justice system becomes mere performance, stripped of moral legitimacy. The author takes issue with female defence counsel for their roles in cases like Ghomeshi and more recently 'E.M.,' where the courts ultimately found the complainants to be unreliable. To frame these lawyers as betraying women is to fundamentally misunderstand their role and the value they bring to an adversarial system that — while far from perfect — requires accountability, fairness, and rigorous scrutiny on all sides. It is offensive — and telling — that the author suggests women are chosen to defend sexual assault cases for optics rather than ability. We categorically reject that notion. Our female colleagues are among the most capable, courageous, and respected advocates in the field. They bring invaluable perspective, strategic insight, and often a level of nuance that improves — not diminishes — how complainants are treated in court. This commentary didn't just take aim at individual lawyers. It reinforced a broader, corrosive narrative that women in criminal defence are somehow complicit in oppression simply for upholding the rule of law. That idea is dangerous. We cannot allow such thinking to take root — not in media, not in the profession, and not in public discourse. ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW These women face challenges their male colleagues often don't — misogyny, moral judgment, and the constant burden of justifying their place in the courtroom. They should not be left to manage this climate of hostility alone. As male defence lawyers, we have a responsibility to push back when professional integrity is twisted into moral betrayal. This kind of discourse degrades the legal profession, undermines trust in the justice system, and disrespects the very people it claims to protect. Female defence lawyers don't need to be defended. They need to be backed up. And we're here to do just that. Mark Berry, Andrew Hindi, Allen Goldin, David Fai, Ervin Ariaee, Chris Johnson KC, Scott Wright, Philip Derksen, JB Emmons, Parm Taunk, Paul Doroshenko KC, Dale Marshall, Brian Coleman, KC, Rishi Gill, Robert Bellows, Andrew Cochrane, Bobby Movassaghi, Hovan Patey, Kevin Filkow, Patrick Johnston, Aasheesh Puri, Bill Jessop, Dave Ferguson, Ian Gauthier, Daman Mander, Jayse Reveley, Graeme Jose, Duncan Chiu, Robb Larmer, Larry Myers KC, Kyle Komarynsky, Paul Van Benthem, Cameron Johnson, Garen Arnet-Zargarian, Joshua Krueger, Jason Tarnow, Aman Jaswal, Brock Martland, Richard Neary, Eric Warren, Edison Heba, Wesley Solmon, Andrew Coulthard, Austin Nix, David Payn, Alexander Khamdamov, Greg Diamond, Declan McGovern, Sarab Atwal, Matthew Hauzar, Burnaby, BC Role models are important When I was on a very crowded shuttle bus on Bloor Street on Sunday morning, a preteen boy spontaneously gave up his seat to a mother and her very young daughter. The mother gave the seat to the daughter. (I was standing at the time.) Role models are important. In light of the behaviour of the five hockey players in London, it is good to see at least one young male is setting a good example for other males. Bruce Couchman, Toronto Opinion Headlines Newsletter Take a stand with this regular roundup of the best from our columnists. Error! Sorry, there was an error processing your request. There was a problem with the recaptcha. Please try again. Please enter a valid email address. Sign Up Yes, I'd also like to receive customized content suggestions and promotional messages from the Star. You may unsubscribe at any time. By signing up, you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google privacy policy and terms of service apply. Opinion Headlines Newsletter You're signed up! You'll start getting Opinion Headlines in your inbox soon. Want more of the latest from us? Sign up for more at our newsletter page.
