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Black America Web
3 days ago
- Health
- Black America Web
The Uncomfortable Realities Of Middle-Aged Black Manhood
Source: Riska / Getty Welcome to the other side of 40, fellas. We made it. Not necessarily intact, not exactly thriving, but here we are. Still standing, still stubborn, still trying to figure out if our cholesterol numbers are good or just 'good for now.' Middle-aged Black manhood is an oxymoronic state. One foot planted in the land of group chats, salt-and-pepper beards, and Spotify playlists curated for grilling meat. The other foot? Knee-deep in unresolved trauma, aching joints, and a drawer full of receipts you swore you didn't need to keep. And let's not even talk about the vitamin collection on your bathroom sink. If your medicine cabinet looks like the supplement aisle at CVS, congratulations, you're officially on the other side. But this milestone, this strange liminal space between youth and elderhood, is where it gets real. For Black men, it comes with unique hazards, both hilarious and haunting. It also comes with a choice: Do we keep playing the game the way we always have? Or do we start making different moves, not just for ourselves, but for the people coming up behind us? Let's start with the first hard truth: Some problems can't be solved. We were taught to fix things. Broken faucet? Fix it. Car making that weird noise again? Fix it. Relationship in shambles? Fix it. Can't fix it? Blame yourself. But some things can't be solved. Some things need to be accepted. Others need to be mourned. And the hardest part? Some problems need to be handed off to someone else who actually knows what they're doing. Accepting that doesn't make you weak. It makes you wise. And at this age, wisdom is better than pride. Pride can get you jammed up. Wisdom gets you home. Go to therapy, Homey. Let's be honest: if you're a Black man in your 40s, you've survived some wild times. You remember D.A.R.E. shirts, stop-and-frisk, the rise and fall of Roc-A-Fella Records, and that one summer when everyone wore tall tees like they were clergy robes. We've got stories. We've got trauma. And many of us have spent years stuffing those experiences into an emotional junk drawer that's now overflowing. Therapy isn't weakness. It's maintenance. You're not trying to rebuild the whole car; you're just making sure it still runs. You don't want to be 60 still haunted by what a 20-year-old you never got resolved within himself. Hair is a blessing. If you're still visiting your barber on the regular and not just out of nostalgia, you're among the chosen. Treat that man like the sacred elder he is. Tip him. Bring him coffee. Because if he's still making your line-up crisp, he's doing God's work. Your circle will shrink. This is the decade where people start to drift. Not always because of drama (though there's always a little of that), but because life pulls us in different directions. Some of your boys will become unrecognizable versions of themselves. Others will simply ghost. And a few… well, they won't be here anymore. What remains is something deeper. Fewer people, but stronger ties. Folks you can call when life punches you in the face. People who understand your silences. These are your real ones. Cherish them. Quiet beats being right. You learn real quick that being right ain't always worth it. Sometimes silence is the win. The peace that comes from letting something go, not because you're wrong, but because you're wise enough to know the argument ain't worth the headache, is the real flex. Let the group chat fight over LeBron vs. Jordan. You've got a lawn to water and a 401(k) to understand. Your jeans are cooked. We need to talk. Your jeans? They're not 'cool' anymore. Either they're too skinny, too baggy, or too washed. Denim no longer loves you the way it used to. Accept it. Invest in a pair that respects your knees and doesn't offend the youth. You don't need to be trendy, but you also don't want to look like you time-traveled from a 2004 G-Unit mixtape release party. Dairy is the ops. Let's just say it: ice cream is not your friend. Mac and cheese? Delicious betrayal. That triple-cheese pizza? That's a 3 a.m. intestinal apocalypse waiting to happen. We once feared lactose for what it did to others . Now it comes for us. This is war. Choose your battles. Know the locations of all nearby restrooms. Regrets are easier to carry than denial. You've made mistakes. Wasted money. Fumbled love. Messed up good things. You could spend years pretending none of it happened, or you could own it, learn from it, and try not to fumble the next good thing that comes your way. Regret doesn't have to be a weight. It can be a compass. Hydration is life. Water is your new best friend. Gone are the days of chugging Gatorade and Red Bull like they were potions of youth. Your kidneys deserve better. Your prostate demands respect. Hydrate or suffer. You're planning for a future you may not see. This one is the uncomfortable reality. You start thinking about what happens after you. You open that high-yield savings account. You Google 'best life insurance for dads.' You ask yourself questions like, 'If something happened to me, would my people be okay?' Because now it's not just about you. It's about the ones you love, the ones you mentor, and the ones who'll walk the paths you help pave. This is legacy season. Plan accordingly. Middle-aged Black manhood isn't a crisis. It's a crossroads. Yes, your back hurts for no reason. And yes, you might still be chasing dreams that feel further than they used to. But now you know what matters. You've lived enough to stop performing and start being. So make better decisions. Drink more water. Call your people. Make that therapy appointment. Save that money. Embrace your softness without sacrificing your strength. And build a life that makes the younger version of you proud and the older version of you peaceful. You made it to halftime. Now let's finish strong. SEE ALSO: This Was Supposed To Be A Review Of 'Forever,' But It's Not Dear Old Morehouse: Can We Not With Cornel West? SEE ALSO The Uncomfortable Realities Of Middle-Aged Black Manhood was originally published on Black America Web Featured Video CLOSE
Yahoo
08-05-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
New Homey app helps simplify affordable housing lottery application
NEW YORK (PIX11) — Two men set out on a mission to make applying for affordable housing easier for New Yorkers. Co-founders Wout Stienaers and Piet Goris launched the app Homey in March to shorten and simplify the process for applying for New York City housing lotteries. More Local News 'Homey is sort of like a translator in between our users and then the housing connect system,' said Stienaers in an interview with PIX11 News. App users create a profile and answer questions based on those asked by NYC Housing Connect. Homey focuses on asking the questions most needed to assess someone's eligibility for the lottery and eliminates some of the more detailed questions about things like one's assets. More: Latest News from Around the Tri-State After a Homey profile is created, a mirror profile is created on NYC Housing Connect using the information from the app. Users will then get alerts for any housing lotteries they're eligible for and can have Homey apply on their behalf. Applicants can continue to track their submissions and get real-time updates on their lotteries through the Homey app. How to apply for affordable housing in NYC 'We get all the emails and all the information from Housing Connect, we translate that to our users, and then we translate the input from our users to Housing Connect, and that way it makes it way easier for the users to actually use the system,' Stienaers said. The co-founder says the idea came from his own experience of trying to navigate NYC Housing Connect to apply for affordable housing. He's now working on adding new features to apply for Section 8 and housing vouchers. 'New Yorkers are busy. Between work, family, and life, they don't have time to constantly monitor new lotteries or deal with confusing paperwork,' said Stienaers. The Homey app is one of the recent services aimed at making affordable housing easier to obtain for New Yorkers. The NYC Department of Housing Preservation and Development has recently launched a new website that makes it easier to find affordable housing rentals after a previous lottery winner has moved out. Dominique Jack is a digital content producer from Brooklyn with more than five years of experience covering news. She joined PIX11 in 2024. More of her work can be found here. Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Time Out
01-05-2025
- Business
- Time Out
This useful new app automatically applies for affordable housing units that you qualify for
If you've ever tried applying for New York City's affordable housing lottery and ended up rage-scrolling rental listings instead, you're not alone. A few months ago, Wout Stienaers decided to give the Housing Connect portal a try. 'I figured it'd take, what, 30 minutes?' Stienaers wrote on LinkedIn while chronicling his experience. 'Instead, I ended up drowning in forms, wondering whether it's even worth it to try finishing the application process.' That frustration led to Homey, a new mobile app that cuts through the red tape and actually helps New Yorkers apply for the affordable housing units they qualify for. Think of it like TurboTax, but for the housing lottery—and about 90% less painful. Unlike Housing Connect, which was designed for desktop (despite nearly a quarter of NYC households lacking one), Homey is mobile-first. It takes about seven minutes to set up a profile, skipping the redundant and privacy-invading questions that bog down the official site. Instead of listing every financial account in your household, you just confirm that your total assets fall under the limit, with a built-in safety buffer to protect your eligibility. But the best part? Homey automatically applies to all the lotteries you qualify for—no need to check back constantly, sift through fine print or risk missing deadlines. The app inputs your information into the Housing Connect system and tracks your application status in one place. And yes, it's already helping.
