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India Today
2 days ago
- Lifestyle
- India Today
How to keep the spark alive between bottles and blowouts
Getting married is a major milestone in any relationship, but choosing to have a child takes that bond to an entirely new level. The real challenge, however, begins after the baby arrives. Sleepless nights, constant crying, hours of rocking the baby, and even the tiniest health scares can test your patience and your every small thing feels like an irritant, and the pressure can expose cracks even in the strongest of partnerships. Parenthood can be overwhelming, and for many couples, it's hard to survive the emotional and physical toll it are moments when all you want is a guidebook to navigate it all, something to remind you that despite the chaos, despite the exhaustion, when you look at your partner, unkempt and drained, you still see the most beautiful human being in the changes with a child, even love Having a baby takes a serious toll on the mother's body, and the dad, after a long day at work, is usually the one rocking the baby and helping his partner recover, just wishing for a little rest. With both feeling tired and not quite themselves, intimacy naturally fades into the background for a while. No matter how much you miss being close, things just aren't the same for some time."When a child arrives, the dyad becomes a triad. The romantic relationship, which was once central, now makes room for a third individual (baby) who has a dependency," Ruchi Ruuh, a Delhi-based relationship counsellor, tells India this, Priyanka Kapoor, a Mumbai-based psychotherapist, psychologist, couple and family counsellor, adds, "With the arrival of the baby, roles change as partners become parents, and it may take time to manage and absorb this, which can lead to confusion and stress. This change also impacts intimacy, which can lead to deprivation, emotional distance, frustration, fatigue, and conflicts."Ruuh agrees that partners have less time and energy for each other as the attention is now diverted towards raising the baby. Sleepless nights and child-raising stress can lead to conflicts frequently. As partners get into new roles, they may feel unseen or unsupported. You start dealing with new vulnerabilities around the new member in the priorities shift?The experts share that the arrival of a new member surely changes the priorities, but it shouldn't entirely replace the couple's connection."Parenthood and partnership must coexist. Being a good parent doesn't require abandoning being a good partner," says further explains, "In Indian households, there's often martyrdom in motherhood, where mothers disappear into the caregiving role. And fathers get busier providing and sometimes discount their presence at home. This imbalance can create resentment or emotional distance." Don't put your relationship on pause | Photo: Pexels/Juan Mendez Meanwhile, as per Kapoor, a couple should prioritise the child, as the first five years are the most important for the child's long-term emotional and physical well-being. However, balancing your relationship with your spouse is crucial too, and it is possible by putting in conscious romance still part of the story?Even with the child taking up all the attention and time, romance isn't secondary. "It's the glue that keeps the couple connected. After kids, it might look different, but it's still vital," says also states that being romantic is very important to keep the spark and interest alive; otherwise, the relationship can become dry and boring, and one can lose interest sneak in romance as new parents, create moments of micro-intimacy throughout the day. This could mean a check-in before bedtime, making a cup of tea for your partner, or just a long just this, but use love languages like physical touch, affirming words, acts of service, even a simple 'you're doing great', which can be romantic during this five minutes before bed just talking, no baby talk, no chores, can also be helpful. Share one high and one low from your day. It keeps the emotional connection partners take up co-parenting, they should keep certain things in mind that can benefit the relationship:You're a team, not opponents. Speak about your partner with respect in front of the divide the task, don't delegate. Shared responsibilities are a sign of equity, not of couples start keeping score of what they do. This can lead to resentment and feelings of rituals of connection. Weekly check-ins about parenting, talking about feelings that might be assume your partner should just know what your needs are. Convey them in a respectful quickly after conflict. Children pick up on tension. It models healthy conflict parenthood... togetherRuuh tells us that surviving parenthood together means being intentional partners, not just default parents. Your relationship will change, accepting that is key. With a little one in your family, life becomes more scheduled than spontaneous, and that's mentions that joining parenting groups can provide emotional support, practical tips, and a sense of community during a phase that often feels isolating. Connecting with others who are going through similar challenges can remind you that you're not hesitate to lean on family and close friends; they can help lighten the load, whether it's through babysitting, running errands, or just offering a listening is just as important. Often, one partner, usually the primary caregiver, bears the brunt of physical and emotional exhaustion. But when one person is completely drained, the relationship suffers too. Parenting starts with taking care of yourself| Photo: Pexels/Andrea Piacquadio Taking time to rest, eat well, pursue hobbies, or simply have a moment of quiet is not selfish, it's necessary. A well-cared-for parent is better able to care for the child and nurture the also shares that healthy parenthood can only be possible when the couple is in sync with each other and the partners are happy with each to her, communication is key. Be open with your partner about what you're feeling and experiencing, don't expect them to just also important for both partners to share common values and stay aligned on important matters like health, parenting responsibilities, and finances, which can often become sources of don't ignore each other's emotional and physical needs. Instead, make a conscious effort to bridge the distance and stay connected. Small acts of care and understanding go a long the burp cloths and sleepless nights, here's what might be hurting your relationship without you realising it:Unequal emotional and physical labour is a major stressor in relationships, especially in Indian households, where women often end up as the default parent and caregiver. This imbalance can lead to burnout and feelings of being taken for time, intimacy begins to fade when couples slip into the roles of only co-parents, rather than continuing to nurture their bond as lovers or friends. This emotional disconnect can significantly affect desire and resentment also builds when one partner feels unsupported or unappreciated, especially when their efforts in the relationship go unresolved fight doesn't just end, it leaves behind a layer of emotional distance. When conflicts aren't dealt with properly, they pile up, creating a wall between partners. Learning to communicate openly and resolve disagreements with empathy can protect, and even strengthen, the relationship.- EndsTrending Reel
India Today
24-07-2025
- Health
- India Today
Can art therapy sketch out the storm within?
Who even has time for a hobby these days? You're either buried in work or lost in an endless scroll of social media reels. Squeezing in an occasional vacation feels like a luxury, so having a regular hobby? Nearly here's the thing: hobbies offer more than just a pastime. They help quiet the noise of everyday life and bring a sense of calm. The only catch? Most hobbies require skill. Not anymore, at least not when it comes to don't have to be an artist to pick up a brush. Art therapy is gaining popularity for its soothing, almost meditative effect on the mind. From paint-by-number kits to diamond painting sets, all you need is a pre-printed canvas and a willingness to splash on some colour. Basically, art therapy is a way to feel better by making art. You don't need to be good at painting or drawing, anyone can do it. The idea is that creating art helps you express your thoughts and feelings, especially when it's hard to put them into words. Feeling stressed, anxious, sad, or overwhelmed after a long day? Just do some art so popular?According to Dr Sarthak Dave, an Ahmedabad-based psychiatrist, there's a lot of pain in the world, and countless ways to try and ease it. Yet, so many people still struggle to find relief. That's why more and more are searching for new ways that can help them feel better."Art therapy is something that seems to have come up after that. It's easily accessible and not very expensive. It doesn't need another person always by your side and gives you space to make mistakes. It's one of the safest and healthiest ways of dealing with your emotions," he tells India this, Dr Aarti Anand, senior consultant psychologist, Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, New Delhi, adds, "Art therapy is becoming increasingly popular because it aligns with a growing awareness of holistic and expressive therapies that address both mind and body. In today's fast-paced and overstimulating environment, many individuals find it hard to verbalise their emotional struggles. Art therapy offers a non-verbal, symbolic form of expression that feels safer for many."Mental health through artExperts believe that art therapy is beneficial in promoting mental health and well-being."Art therapy provides you with ample opportunities to work on yourself, recognise your qualities, strengths, and vulnerabilities. There is also a sense of pleasure and mastery that you can experience upon the manipulation of creative art media, which promotes well-being," shares Tanushree Sangma, expressive arts-based therapist and counselling psychologist, Fortis Hospital, Dr Dave mentions that some people are not so good at talking or writing, or may feel that what they're saying or writing is not doing justice to what they're feeling. For them, feeling and expressing their emotions through art is a better doctor adds that art therapy also helps with stress and anxiety. "Normally, the presence of anxiety or chronic stress puts a human being in fight-or-flight mode. Continuous fight-or-flight mode pushes them into a debilitating state. They start functioning in survival mode. Getting things out of their system removes the extra load and significantly decreases their symptoms, calming their nervous system. Their vitals start touching base. Their appetite, sleep, breathing patterns, etc., start getting normal." Art therapy can help you beat stress and anxiety | Photo: Pexels/Mikhail Nilov Dr Anand, meanwhile, shares that beyond emotional expression, art therapy can improve cognitive functioning, motor coordination, and problem-solving skills. It also enhances mindfulness and emotional regulation, both central in therapies like DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy).It also supports neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to form new neural connections. Repetitive creative acts, like colouring, can stimulate brain regions related to planning, attention, and sensory art can be a calming, meditative experience that encourages relaxation and mindfulness. It helps you slow down and stay present, offering a much-needed break from daily stress. Completing a piece of art can also boost your self-esteem, giving you a sense of accomplishment and helping you reconnect with your creative art therapy right for you?You don't need to be 'artistic' to benefit from art therapy. If you find it hard to express emotions with words, feel overwhelmed often, or just want a quiet, creative outlet to process your thoughts, art therapy might be worth a simple activity like using a paint-by-number kit can be a good way to start. If it helps you feel calmer or more in tune with yourself, it means you are headed in the right per Dr Dave, like any other therapy, if it starts showing results, if you start touching base, getting calmer, it means you are recovering. The socio-occupational dysfunction that was there because of continuous anxiety or stress, when it starts getting resolved, your behaviour, both socially and professionally, starts improving. That's when you know you're getting up or fly solo?"Whether you want to do art therapy solo or with your partner/friends depends on the therapeutic goal. Solo art therapy allows for introspection, privacy, and deep personal processing, which is ideal for those dealing with trauma, identity, or self-esteem issues," says Dr this, Sangma adds that art therapy, when done in a group, is designed in a way to work towards common goals and concerns of the group. Group sessions create a space for shared support, reduced isolation, increased social interaction, and interpersonal skill all depends on what you're looking for. If you simply want to unwind after a long day, painting on your own can be a great way to relax. But if you're hoping to strengthen your relationships or connect with others, a group art therapy session might be a better fit. You can even try art therapy in a group | Photo: Pexels/Cottonbro Studio Is there a downside?While art therapy is generally safe, there can be a few downsides. It can bring up deep or buried emotions. For some, this can feel intense or uncomfortable, especially if you're not ready to face certain sometimes feel self-conscious if they think they're 'not good at art', which can hold them back. It's important to remember that it's about expression, not therapy can be powerful, but it may not be enough on its own for serious mental health issues. It often works best alongside other forms of therapy or you take up art go of perfectionism and remember that it's not about creating exceptional art, but expressing yourself vital to focus on the process and not the end consistent, as with any other therapy, it takes time for results to show. Make sure to set small might feel burned out; in that case, take small breaks. Learn to make it part of your routine and make it a can bring buried thoughts or feelings to the surface. That's okay, it's part of the healing process.- Ends
