Latest news with #JonathanRedelinghuys
The Citizen
6 days ago
- Health
- The Citizen
Gen Z is not okay, the internet is making it worse
Research shows that Gen Zs are the loneliest generation, despite having it all. Gen Z is the first generation that has grown up completely immersed in a digital world. But it's not just a world of convenience and technological progress. Instead, of simply getting dopamine hits from swiping, doomscrolling, cancel culture and a host of other anxiety-causing conditions have surfaced in substantial volumes. Loneliness, disillusionment and depression are becoming the mental health scourges of modern times. Clinical psychologist and medical doctor Dr Jonathan Redelinghuys said the signs are no longer subtle. 'They are not just moody teens. Many of them are genuinely unwell. Anxiety and depressive disorders are presenting earlier and more severely than we've seen in previous generations,' he said. Gen Zs were born between 1997 and 2012. Smartphones, social media and streaming culture have shaped their reality from birth. But hyperconnectivity, what Gen Zs grew up with, has come with a toll. A 2023 Pew Research Centre report found that nearly one in three teens said social media had a negative effect on their mental health. 'It's not just the content, it's the comparison. Gen Z is constantly measuring themselves against filtered, curated lives online. That's incredibly damaging,' Redelinghuys said. His observations match published research in the American Journal of Health Behaviour in 2020, which found that the more time adolescents spent on social media, the more likely they were to report mental health challenges. The American Psychological Association reported that 91% of Gen Z adults aged 18 to 23 experienced at least one physical or emotional symptom of stress in the past year. That's a lot higher than the general adult population, where the figure was pegged at 76%. Overstressed Gen Z's In South Africa, the numbers tell a scary story. Youth unemployment remains high, with StatsSA's 2024 data showing nearly 45% of South Africans aged 15 to 24 are without work. 'There's a sense of hopelessness. Many Gen Z's feel like they are climbing a ladder that is missing rungs,' Redelinghuys said. Add to this the escalating cost of living, student debt, and an increasingly competitive academic environment, he noted. 'The consequence can be mental burnout before life's even hit the fast lane.' ALSO READ: 7 reasons Gen Zs choose friends with benefits The American College Health Association's 2023 assessment noted an increase in academic anxiety, insomnia and emotional exhaustion among US college students. 'The pressure to succeed is immense. They are expected to perform like machines, while also navigating identity, climate fear and digital overload,' Redelinghuys said. A 2021 global study published in The Lancet Planetary Health found that 59% of young people surveyed were 'very' or 'extremely' worried about climate change, with over 45% saying that those fears affected their daily functioning. One respondent noted, 'It makes me anxious, like I have no future.' Redelinghuys said this kind of future-looking dread is increasingly common. 'They are not imagining it. They're growing up in a world where adults seem paralysed, and the problems feel insurmountable.' Gen Z – the loneliest generation Gen Z has also been labelled the loneliest generation. Research from Harvard's Graduate School of Education in 2021 found that more than 61% of Gen Z adults in the United States reported profound loneliness. Remote schooling, lockdowns and a lack of in-person social development during crucial years have left many of them socially fragmented. 'It's likely no different in South Africa,' said Dr Redelinghuys. It's a generation pedestalled for its openness, inclusivity and focus on self-expression. The McKinsey & Co report on generational trends noted that while many Gen Zer's explore diverse identities, they also face backlash, online harassment and internal conflict. It can become a major source of stress though. 'They are brave and honest about who they are, but society is still catching up. That creates tension,' Redelinghuys said. According to Dr Redelinghuys Gen Z's need a different approach to how generations prior was managed and psychologically healed or counselled. 'In a sense, they have inherited a rotten world of real-time conflict, environmental collapse and social disintegration. Couple this with a hyper-connected digital multiverse, and there can only be challenges,' he said. 'Interventions need to go beyond mindfulness apps and social media breaks. Schools, parents, policymakers. Everyone has a role to play. Gen Z is telling us they are not okay. We need to listen.' NOW READ: Why Gen Z fears phones
The Citizen
6 days ago
- Health
- The Citizen
Joyspan: The one life measure that really matters
Unlike fleeting moments of happiness, joy isn't dependent on good news or good weather. We count our years. And we track our steps. We measure cholesterol and productivity. There are apps for all of these, but there's nothing that tracks joy. Well, except perhaps an old chocolate ad with a gorilla drumming and taking a moment to find pure joy in their own happy noise. But, pause, take a moment and ask yourself how much of your own life is actually spent simply taking a moment and experiencing joy. There's a word for it now. It's called Joyspan, and it refers to the amount of time in your life that is genuinely joyful. Not just the absence of stress, but moments of satisfaction, connection, and lightness of being. Think of baby's first steps, when gaga became mama, or when you simply overachieved against all your own expectations. When someone gifted you something that you really wanted, or when giving gave you a joyful feeling. There's nothing in formal science that defines Joyspan, but it's a ponytail word that's getting traction, because it's not something we can ignore, said medical doctor and psychologist Dr Jonathan Redelinghuys. 'Joyspan is a useful metric,' he said. 'We've spent years looking at how to prolong life, but not enough attention has been paid to the emotional content of that time. Joy is protective. It builds resilience, improves health, and widens our capacity for connection.' Joy builds resilience Unlike fleeting moments of happiness, joy isn't dependent on good news or good weather. It can be spontaneous, enduring, or simply a reflective moment. A Harvard study on adult development found that people with strong, joyful relationships lived longer and had better physical health outcomes than people with weaker social ties. Relationship expert Lisa Welsh from said that in her experience, couples who pay attention to the small, joyful interactions tend to report higher levels of emotional intimacy. 'Joyspan in relationships is often about micro-moments,' she said. 'Being heard, sharing a laugh, cooking a meal together. These are the things that sustain connection over time. Not grand gestures, but the dailies.' Also Read: Why Gen Z fears phones It's not only about relationships, either. Anne-Marie Viviers of Heavenly Healing, who incorporates bodywork, energy therapy and spiritual wellness practices, said joy must be cultivated just like physical fitness. 'Joy is not a bonus at the end of healing,' she said. 'It's part of the process. A body that is regulated, a nervous system that's supported, becomes more receptive to joy. It's not something you chase; it's something you clear space for.' Life's small things increase Joyspan Viviers believes that movement, scent, sound, and intentional rest all play a role in increasing Joyspan. 'People come for treatments to relieve stress, but what they often walk away with is more clarity and a lightness. That's the entry point to sustained joy.' There's some medical backup for Joyspan. A study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences linked positive emotional states, including joy, to better immune function, lower stress hormone levels, and improved cardiovascular health. Dr Redelinghuys said people tend to overlook the small wins in life. 'I often suggest to people to track their weeks. Not for tasks completed, but for moments of actual joy. What they find is that it's not really the expensive dinner or the promotion at work that creates joy. It's usually the moment a child says something funny, or that quiet few minutes before the rest of the house wakes up.' The impact of joy on mental health is also well documented. Studies show that sustained experiences of joy can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, improve emotional regulation, and increase motivation. Yet few people prioritise it in daily life, said Viviers. People are exhausted Welsh noted many of her clients arrive exhausted, not just physically but emotionally. 'They're trying to tick all the boxes like career, family, fitness and so on, but there's no space for joy. The first thing I get couples to do is reconnect with what makes them laugh together. If you're not laughing, you're not connecting.' Viviers believes modern life is overloaded with what she calls joy blockers. These are constant digital inputs and overstimulation from social media and online living. It can cause emotional fatigue. 'It's not just the phone in your hand; it's the information your nervous system is constantly trying to process. People are tired, not just from work, but from the intensity of everyday living.' Improving Joyspan doesn't require big life changes. Movement, gratitude, awe, and even a few minutes of mindfulness a day have all been shown to boost joy. A study by psychology academics Emmons and McCullough found that people who wrote down three things they were grateful for each day reported higher levels of life satisfaction over time. 'Joyspan doesn't need to be manufactured,' said Dr Redelinghuys. 'It needs to be noticed. It's already happening, and you just need to pay attention.' Now Read: Why are we so negative? An expert answers
The Citizen
28-07-2025
- Science
- The Citizen
Is your brain lying to you? Here's why your memory may not be accurate
The brain has evolved to prioritise processing speed, efficiency and emotional stability over factual accuracy. Seeing is believing. Thinking is believing. But not quite. Because even though you may be convinced of a certain reality and truth, it may not be the same for anyone else. Your brain is an expert editor and, if your life was like a movie, thank your largest organ for customising it to a personalised box-office hit. This is, because despite its brilliance of design, the brain is not a reliable narrator. It is less of an objective observer and more of a creative writer instead. It's always snipping, molding and rearranging stuff to suit the story it wants to tell you, and the rest of the world, for that matter. The human brain is designed for survival, not truth. Your brain is not wired for truth Psychologist and medical doctor Dr Jonathan Redelinghuys said that the brain has evolved to prioritise processing speed, efficiency and emotional stability over factual accuracy. However, by doing so, it often distorts reality through illusions, biases and misremembered events. These selective edits are not acts of ill intent but rather protective mechanisms that help us make decisions quickly and feel better about ourselves. Dr Redelinghuys said we hardly ever realise that our brain is duping us. 'Our brains aren't trying to deceive us out of spite,' he said. 'They're doing their best to keep us functional. But shortcuts for efficiency's sake can come at the cost of accuracy.' One of the more common ways this mental sleight of hand shows up is through cognitive bias. It's like a mental trick that feels like logic to you, but it isn't really. American psychologist Raymond Nickerson said in a research paper that people are far more likely to notice and remember information that supports their own beliefs, while conveniently ignoring anything that doesn't. This kind of bias meddles in almost everything in your life from who you vote for, to your opinion on load shedding, rugby, ham, or asparagus on pizza, and even the loud music your neighbour plays on a Sunday afternoon. Same experience, different memories Dr Redelinghuys said this is one of the reasons two people can have entirely different accounts of the same event, and both believe they are right. 'It feels like common sense at the time,' he said. 'But it's just your brain telling a story it wants to hear.' ALSO READ: 7 reasons Gen Zs choose friends with benefits Endemic to many politicians is the Dunning-Kruger effect. Psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger ran a study 25 years ago that showed how people with limited knowledge or skill in an area tend to overestimate their competence. Ironically, people who know their stuff, often underestimate their own abilities. 'It's not arrogance,' said Redelinghuys. 'It's that people who don't know enough are also the least equipped to notice how little they know.' In line with misplaced convictions, a 1975 study found that people often believe they can control outcomes that are purely random. This is why gamblers always think they are in for a win in the next spin or hand and why, somewhat stupidly, people who tap elevator buttons more than once believing, deep down, it will come faster. Dr Redelinghuys said the brain prefers a world that makes sense, even if it must invent that order entirely. 'We want predictability,' he said. 'So, the brain edits in control, even where there is none.' Memories more like scrapbooking than library Memories too, are not filed as if it were books in a library. Scrapbooking is a better description of what really happens. American cognitive psychologist Elizabeth Loftus said that people could be led to form entirely false memories. One experiment convinced participants they had been lost in a mall as a child. This even though that never happened. 'Memory is not a record of the past,' said Redelinghuys. 'It's a reconstruction that changes every time you call it up.' And then there is something called a flashbulb memory. It's recollections from emotionally charged events like for example, the 11 September World Trade Centre attack in 2001. While people reported on their own memories of the day and events with great confidence, researchers found the details often inaccurate. 'Confidence and correctness are not the same thing,' said Redelinghuys. 'You can be absolutely sure, and absolutely wrong.' More than a party trick Neuroscientist David Eagleman wrote in a 2001 study that visual illusions are not just party tricks either. They reveal how much of what we see is actively constructed by the brain. The famous blind spot in our vision is a literal gap in the data coming into our eyes. The brain just fills in the blanks without telling us. 'You're not seeing everything that's there,' said Dr Redelinghuys. 'You're seeing what your brain has predicted should be there. 'Once you realise how much of your reality is constructed, you can begin to question your assumptions and become a better decision-maker,' said Dr Redelinghuys. 'It requires rewiring your way of thinking to compensate for your brain's flaws, and then to use them effectively and impactfully in your life.' NOW READ: Why are we so negative? An expert answers
The Citizen
08-07-2025
- General
- The Citizen
7 reasons Gen Zs choose friends with benefits
Between studying, side hustles and WhatsApp storms, most Gen Zs barely have time for their own thoughts, let alone high-maintenance relationships. Romance can be overrated, and so can hours of endless swiping left and right on dating apps, not to mention the cycle of drinks at bars, buying drinks for a cutie in the corner or, for that matter, eternal date night. At least that's according to a growing number of Gen Zers who are swapping candlelit dinners and romcoms and sexting for something far more simple. Friends with benefits or FWB, is intimacy served with simplicity. It's the bring it on without the string it along. Clinical psychologist Dr Jonathan Redelinghuys said that the change toward this type of intimate relationship is simply about putting your cards on the table and being straightforward about wants, desires and turn-offs. 'It is not that Gen Z fears commitment,' he said. 'They value authenticity and autonomy. Having friends with benefits allows them to explore connection without the societal script of traditional relationships.' Seven reasons for FWB It delivers sex without emotional pressure FWB removes performance anxiety of the emotional kind. Nobody has to flick-flak or tiptoe on a date or put their best foot forward to get some nookie. 'It's about sharing intimacy without the morning after 'awalkward',' said Dr Redelinghuys. 'It's a conscious decision to separate physical needs from emotional entanglement.' Friendship and trust When you trust a friend, it makes everything easier, say Gen Zs. There's no expectation beyond a good time. Afterwards, it's a slap on the back, and after her bra is fastened, you can still go out for a beer with mates. 'Being able to have regular great sex with someone I actually know, like, trust and respect? Hell yeah,' wrote a Reddit user. Dr Redelinghuys added, 'Trust is the key differentiator here. FWB isn't about random hook-ups. It's about familiarity, comfort, and honesty.' Also Read: Why are we so negative? An expert answers Diary-flexible Between studying, side hustles and WhatsApp storms, most Gen Zs barely have time for their own thoughts, let alone high-maintenance relationships. It's fast-paced, and having friends who can turn on the tap of a bit of naughty whenever cuts out date nights and emotionally draining check-ins or 'where are yous'. It's not about avoiding relationships, said Dr Redelinghuys. 'They are choosing what fits their lives right now. It's pragmatism, not detachment.' No-bungle booty Judgement-free exploration It's a space that friends create for one another where anything can go, measured against mutual consent and boundaries. A space where Gen Zs say they try new things like exploring fantasies or just getting in touch and comfy with your own naughtiness. It's judgment-free, and a subreddit user expressed it aptly: 'Allow me to finally meet, explore, control, and work on accepting my sexuality… I'm proud of myself.' According to Dr Redelinghuys, 'The Gen Z generation is highly self-aware. FWB gives them a playground for discovery without the weight of emotional expectations.' Post Breakup Comfort Who wants to get back in the dating game after a breakup, anyway? Nobody wants to go swimming with sharks right after being bitten. Instead, Gen Zs look for companionship on an emotional and physical level. It's companionship without pressure, a familiar body without the need to get into anything emotional. 'There's a psychological reassurance in reconnecting with someone familiar,' said Dr Redelinghuys. 'It allows for emotional healing while maintaining boundaries.' Forget soap operas Bye Bye Drama Gen Z does not seem into the drama of dating. It can be exhausting. The texting, ghosting, situationships, checking in, checking out. Wondering about I love yous. Friends with benefits skip the queue and go straight to fun, honesty and, well, comfort. 'The two most honest, pure, uncomplicated and beautiful relationships I ever experienced were FWB,' a Reddit user confessed in r/AskWomen. Dr Redelinghuys agreed, 'Sometimes simplicity is healthier. FWB can be a drama-free arrangement when both parties communicate openly and respect the rules.' Deeper connections without blunt force trauma Not every friends-with-benefits situation must be without strings, forever. It could start that way, but sometimes, it grows into something real, deep, and well beyond what either party may have expected. And the beauty of it would have been that there was no pressure upfront, no emotional blunt force trauma. Dr Redelinghuys said that friendship lays a strong foundation for any relationship. When intimacy is layered on top, deeper connections often emerge organically. And, according to Reddit users, it happens more often than people admit. 'It started as casual, but we grew closer because we were just so honest from the start,' one user shared.
The Citizen
03-07-2025
- General
- The Citizen
Never say these 7 things on a first date
Some turns of phrase are turn-offs before even the second glass of red wine lubricates what is already a stressful encounter. Whether you've swiped right or simply met someone at a bar, a first date can often be hell. Putting your best foot forward is important, and being blunt could get anyone booted from a seat at the relationship table from the start. Some turns of phrase are turn-offs before even the second glass of red wine lubricates what is already a stressful encounter. To help you avoid a disaster date, here are seven conversations not to have: 'I'm just looking for something fun… unless you change my mind.' This isn't flirty. It's mixed signalling and, as psychologist Dr Jonathan Redelinghuys explains, it sets the tone for a power imbalance where one person holds back while dangling vague promises. 'Mixed messages early on create anxiety and mistrust,' said Dr Redelinghuys. 'It implies emotional unavailability and a lack of respect for the other person's intentions.' 'My ex used to…' or 'You remind me of my ex.' A cold shoulder guarantee. Nobody wants to be compared to a former lover. Leave your ex-anecdotes at the parcel counter and forget to collect it when you go home. 'Mentioning an ex shows emotional residue that hasn't cleared,' said Dr Redelinghuys. 'It immediately positions your date as a comparison, not an individual.' A study found that ex-talk drastically reduces attraction and perceived emotional availability. Like a Reddit user said: 'He compared me to his ex-twice before the appetisers arrived. I excused myself.' ALSO READ: Will AI replace your psychologist? 'I looked you up.' Never, ever admit to CIA-ing the person you're spending time with on a date. Imagine telling your date that you saw their pics of an office party where they danced on the tables last year. 'Oversharing digital snooping shatters the illusion of organic discovery,' said Dr Redelinghuys. 'There's a fine line between curiosity and control.' 'I really do not like……' Keep your opinions on sensitive matters to yourself. This can be something as simple as supporting US President Donald Trump's Afrikaner refugee programme through to animal welfare, women's, or men's rights. Moreover, hate speech or prejudice that belongs to decades ago is not sexy. 'Expressions of intolerance signal emotional rigidity and poor empathy,' said Dr Redelinghuys. 'You will not get lucky spewing codswallop.' 'So, how much do you earn?' A Reddit user lamented that 'she asked about my salary right after asking what car I drove. Nope. No thanks.' Payslips are not love letters, and month-end is not Valentine's Day. Making a first date transactional, said Dr Redelinghuys, solicits judgment, and concomitantly, he added, 'you can make someone feel that the only value they have is what's in the bank.' A study by the Personal Relationships Journal found that asking questions about money too soon can lead to personal discomfort and may come across as overly materialistic. 'I've had more than 25 sexual partners.' So, here's my dirty laundry, you say. There are notches on my bedpost. There can be nothing worse than sharing a meal when your date pipes up and blurts out the contents of their little black book or, even worse, that they have some kind of unmentionable fetish. There's a time and place for everything, said Dr Redelinghuys. 'Early sexual disclosure without trust is often received as attention-seeking or emotionally reckless. It can make the other person feel like a statistic rather than a potential partner or just plain scared.' 'I'm just wanting to get married and have kids. Soon' Before you've had your first kiss or gafoofle, they tell you that there's a plan in motion and a checklist to boot. On this roadmap, there are kids at this time, a new house at that time, and grandkids further along the way. It's pressure that can make the oversharer seem desperate. 'There's a difference between being goal-driven and appearing desperate,' Dr Redelinghuys explained. 'It can overwhelm your date and create pressure before there's been any connection.' NOW READ: Quarter Life – your first existential crisis
