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Yahoo
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
This Is The Exact Amount Of 'Cyberstalking' You Should Do Before A First Date
Thanks to the internet, people can now walk into a first date armed with a full dossier on their potential new love interest. The problem with that approach is it's extremely creepy. At the same time, no one should enter a first date with a blank slate. For safety's sake, it's always a good idea to do some research beforehand, especially if you're a woman: 'The unfortunate reality is that people who identify as women are at more risk of physical harm when meeting someone for a date,' observed relationship coach Rachel Kahoopii. 'This is even more true for folks who are transgender.' How much research on your date is too much, though? Sure, we want — and deserve — to be safe when meeting someone new. But how do we walk this fine line of protecting ourselves while also allowing a relationship to grow organically? Most dating and relationship experts agree that the 'less is more' tactic is the way to go here. Conduct enough research so that you feel safe attending the first date, but don't go too far down the rabbit hole investigating your date's past. That's a one-way ticket to awkwardsville. 'I think not doing any cyberstalking at all is too little,' said Julie Nguyen, a Los Angeles-based certified dating coach with the dating app Hily. 'Everyone has a digital footprint, and checking out a few of their profiles helps make sure they are who they say they are, especially for women going on a date. This enables you to feel less like you're walking into the unknown and also helps you feel more confident about your match.' Read on for more of our experts' advice on how to determine the right amount of pre-first-date research. Sensible 'Cyberstalking' vs. Overkill A reasonable approach would be 'verifying what you already know about [the potential date] (e.g. they work where they say they do),' said Jaydi Samuels Kuba, CEO of LJMatchmaking and author of the book 'Your Last First Date: Secrets from a Hollywood Matchmaker.' 'A little curiosity is normal, and I think it can be smart when done lightly,' Nguyen said about gaming out your research. 'I always recommend doing enough to feel safe and feel out more of their energy. That can look like scrolling through their LinkedIn and Instagram, maybe checking out a mutual friend or two.' As long as you can corroborate that your upcoming date is who they say they are, there are no red flags just yet. But if you're doing things like running a paid background check, combing their social media profiles for conversation topics or doing deep dives into their past? Now you're entering overkill territory. And that can harm your relationship before it even begins. '[Research] becomes too much when you find yourself five years deep into their ex's tagged photos or listening to their Spotify playlists they made in college,' said Nguyen. 'When the investigation turns into getting overly attached by delving too deeply into their past, it can create too many expectations and overly inflate your perception of them.' How To Creep Your Date (Productively) Since you're inevitably going to do some investigation before the first date, just make sure you do so with intention. Ideally, you want to verify their identity. Samuels Kuba suggested starting with their social media: See if your date has at least one social media account, and if so, 'do they have a reasonable amount of friends/followers, and does it go far enough back to feel authentic?' Samuels Kuba acknowledged, however, that not everyone has social media. If that's the case, check if you have any mutual friends who can speak to your date's character. Check For Red Flags 'If your gut is telling you something is off, or they sound too good to be true, consider a phone call or virtual date, such as on Zoom, with them first,' Samuels Kuba said. 'Get a feel for what they are really like before agreeing to see them in person.' But a little bit of cyberstalking can also save you a lot of long-term heartache, specifically when it comes to identifying red flags. Kahoopii offers the following online research tips: Google their name to ensure they are who they say they are. Look at all of their social profiles and reverse image search their photos. It can be a red flag if someone doesn't have an online footprint. Even people who don't like social media typically have a LinkedIn profile. Check for extremist views, angry comments and shared memes that are overtly violent. This is less about being compatible with someone's viewpoints and more about emotional maturity and comfort with violence. A small amount of cyberstalking might also highlight green flags, which can assuage predate jitters. You're likely in a good position for that first date if their 'interests are consistent across all of their social media pages,' Nguyen said. Social media photos, she said, can also confirm your date's 'niche hobby' and if they are indeed 'close with their friends.' Now Actually Go On The Date The whole point of a first date is to get to know each other, so 'don't spoil the process by over-preparing!' advised Kahoopii. Remember that 'a first date isn't a job interview where you need to demonstrate that you did your research about the company in order to be taken seriously.' As for conversation topics, 'I'd say to do zero prep work beyond what you already know about them or what they make available to you,' Samuels Kuba said. 'If you're struggling with what to talk to them about, and it's only a first date, that's likely a sign that you don't have a strong enough connection with them. First dates should feel light — and not forced. If you have hobbies and interests, or values, in common, this will all come up naturally.' A first date is an opportunity to demonstrate your listening skills, so instead of showing off your exemplary research abilities, Kahoopii recommended bringing 'your attention and awareness,' because 'good connection and conversation come from being present.' '[On a first date], it's important to have mystery,' said Nguyen. 'Knowing just enough without their entire life story allows you to be present so you can dig deeper.' But that doesn't mean you shouldn't take a proactive stance: 'Share the stories that matter to you, and ask open-ended questions to peel back the layers,' Nguyen added. 'As long as you are meeting someone in a safe, public location, and you do not plan to go home with them afterward, try to leave as much as you can for the date itself,' Samuels Kuba said. Still, it's understandable if you are nervous about what questions to ask, so here are a couple of resources, courtesy Samuels Kuba, that can help you prep a few fun queries for your date: 'The Book of Beautiful Questions: The Powerful Questions that Will Help You Decide, Create, Connect and Lead'by 'questionologist' Warren Berger Psychologist Arthur Aron's 36 questions (featured in The New York Times) It's natural to turn our first-date 'elevator pitch' into a listing of our achievements, but remember that's only one facet of who we are. 'We often conflate someone knowing us with them knowing our histories and our accomplishments,' Kahoopii said. 'But who we are is revealed in the spontaneous moments we share on a date. Talk about your thoughts and feelings, not your resume — and ask for theirs! This is how you fall in love.' Related... 'Slow Burn' Is Trending On Dating Apps Right Now — But It Might Not Mean What You Think If You See This Word On A Man's Dating Profile... Run I Fell For A Catfish Who Scammed Me Out Of Thousands Of Dollars. Here's How It Happened. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
18-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Summer's shadiest toxic dating trend is rather gross: Here's how to know if it's happening to you.
People can be really terrible. Summer is here, and that means romance is heating up. At least for some people, because for others, matters of the heart are getting rather, well, shady. The latest toxic dating trend taking over the steamy season is summer shading, and it's the opposite of hot. It's actually very, very cold. Summer shading is, quite literally, when someone decides to "cool off" their relationship for the summer to free themselves up for flings, travel, whatever they want while staying commitment free. It's not exactly the same as breaking up with someone, or even ghosting them, but rather putting a relationship on pause — and sometimes it's happened before you even realize it. They stop making plans. "There's always something in the way of being able to see you right away or during a reasonable time frame," said Hily Dating App expert Julie Nguyen. Maybe they claim their friends are visiting, they are traveling out of the country, family stuff is happening, or work is really busy. "You don't feel like you're the priority. It begins to feel like you're an afterthought, someone they think about if they don't have anything else going on. You feel like you're sidelined for funner, more sparkly plans that don't do anything to center your relationship," said Nguyen. They're still quite social. It's not as if they are staying home, eating ice cream, and binge-watching Netflix. "They're full of energy, running around town, and having a lot of fun," said Nguyen. This may mean you're hearing about them out and about at parties and traveling, and maybe even seeing other people. "You hear about the fun adventures they're going on, the vacations they're seeing, and the people they're seeing. You're just not one of them. When you reach out to hang out, they seem like they have time for everything besides you," said Nguyen. You don't feel chosen. Everything is open-ended. As in their plans and how they feel about you. "They push things off until you're unsure when you're going to see them next. Everything feels vague as plans push off and conversations take days in between to respond. Making any plans or talking about the relationship becomes uncertain," said Nguyen. You feel like they're avoiding you more or you're being downright ghosted. Things feel increasingly distant and uncertain. "Maybe they drop a few breadcrumbs, they want to hang out again in a few weeks to keep you hanging on. You feel enough to keep hoping and hanging onto what you remember of the relationship, but you don't feel secure. It feels like you're stuck in emotional limbo," said Nguyen. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
18-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Summer's shadiest toxic dating trend is rather gross: Here's how to know if it's happening to you.
People can be really terrible. Summer is here, and that means romance is heating up. At least for some people, because for others – matters of the heart are getting rather, well, shady. The latest toxic dating trend taking over the steamy season is summer shading, and it's the opposite of hot. It's actually very, very cold. Summer shading is, quite literally, when someone decides to "cool off" their relationship for the summer to free themselves up for flings, travel, whatever they want while staying commitment free. It's not exactly the same as breaking up with someone, or even ghosting them, but rather putting a relationship on pause – and sometimes it's happened before you even realize it. They stop making plans. "There's always something in the way of being able to see you right away or during a reasonable time frame," said Hily Dating App expert Julie Nguyen. Maybe they claim their friends are visiting, they are traveling out of the country, family stuff is happening, or work is really busy. "You don't feel like you're the priority. It begins to feel like you're an afterthought, someone they think about if they don't have anything else going on. You feel like you're sidelined for funner, more sparkly plans that don't do anything to center your relationship," said Nguyen. They're still quite social. It's not as if they are staying home eating ice cream and binging Netflix. "They're full of energy, running around town, and having a lot of fun," said Nguyen. This may mean you're hearing about them out and about at parties and traveling, and maybe even seeing other people. "You hear about the fun adventures they're going on, the vacations they're seeing, and the people they're seeing. You're just not one of them. When you reach out to hang out, they seem like they have time for everything besides you," said Nguyen. You don't feel chosen. Everything is open-ended. As in their plans and how they feel about you. "They push things off until you're unsure when you're going to see them next. Everything feels vague as plans push off and conversations take days in between to respond. Making any plans or talking about the relationship becomes uncertain," said Nguyen. You feel like they're avoiding you more or you're being downright ghosted. Things feel increasingly distant and uncertain. "Maybe they drop a few breadcrumbs they want to hang out again in a few weeks to keep you hanging on. You feel enough to keep hoping and hanging onto what you remember of the relationship, but you don't feel secure. It feels like you're stuck in emotional limbo," said Nguyen. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
29-05-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
A New Addition to SkinSpirit's Microneedling Menu
SkinSpirit Introduces Revolutionary Microneedling Treatment to U.S. Market designed to Treat Active Acne, Redness, Inflammation & more SEATTLE, May 29, 2025 /PRNewswire/ -- SkinSpirit, the premier destination for medical aesthetics, leading provider of Botox and dermal fillers, and experts in regenerative skincare announced their latest innovation for acne sufferers, the Clear + Even Clarifier Catalyst Serum. This is an advanced microneedling treatment designed to target active acne breakouts, reduce redness and inflammation while boosting collagen and elastin to improve overall skin health. Given the sensitivity of acne-prone skin, many individuals are highly selective with their skincare and hesitant to explore new options highlighting the need for a trusted and effective solution. Enter SkinSpirit's new Catalyst Serum to elevate your next Microneedling treatment with anti-inflammatory, antibacterial plant-based phytonutrients. Pair the Clear + Even Clarifier Catalyst Serum with microneedling to treat acne and calm redness, while promoting smoother, healthier skin — in as few as one treatment. Clients struggling with acne can now experience the powerful skin-rejuvenating benefits of microneedling, while simultaneously addressing their acne concerns. In a 15-week clinical study involving 60 participants with moderate to severe acne, 100% of providers and patients reported measurable improvement after just four treatments, as evaluated using the Global Acne Severity Scale. True to SkinSpirit's commitment to safety and efficacy, all new treatments are carefully vetted before reaching clients. "After the first session, I noticed a major difference. My skin felt smoother, and the acne was visibly diminishing. By the third session, my complexion was clear and glowing. I haven't worn makeup in weeks and get compliments all the time" said Serena Shihadeh from SkinSpirit's trial. Another patient, Julie Nguyen said, "My acne spiraled out of control, and nothing seemed to help. I decided to start the trial in late summer 2024. After just one session, I saw noticeable improvements within 2-3 weeks. By the second session, my skin had transformed. The results were life changing." The Clear + Even Clarifier Catalyst Serum is the latest addition to SkinSpirit's extensive menu of microneedling options including their Biostimulator + Hyaluronic Acid to enhance radiance and smooth, growth factors to treat fine lines & improve elasticity and exosomes+ to correct wrinkles, firmness and smooth texture. SkinSpirit continues to spearhead new innovation in the regenerative skincare category with this robust custom-made microneedling menu for all skin concerns. The Clear + Even Clarifier Catalyst Serum is available at most SkinSpirit clinics nationwide as of June 1st. About SkinSpiritA pioneer in medical aesthetic skin, face, and body treatments, SkinSpirit was founded in 2003 with a mission to bring joy to your skincare journey and elevate the beauty and confidence of every client through scientifically validated methods and a breadth of services performed by expert practitioners. Today, with 50+ locations throughout California, New York, Arizona, Texas, Utah, Washington, and Oregon (to name a few), SkinSpirit is a leading provider of Botox® and dermal fillers in the U.S. and known for award-winning facials and leading-edge expertise in skin rejuvenation and body treatments. Each SkinSpirit clinic blends our signature luxurious ambiance with bespoke touches for the ultimate, pampered medical spa experience. With the expertise of our unparalleled team of medical professionals, we provide top-tier client service, delivering safe, effective, and natural looking results that will keep you coming back for more. To find more information on SkinSpirit, please visit: follow us on Instagram @skinspirit or on Facebook @SkinSpiritClinicSpa. View original content to download multimedia: SOURCE SkinSpirit
