Summer's shadiest toxic dating trend is rather gross: Here's how to know if it's happening to you.

Yahoo

5 days ago

People can be really terrible.
Summer is here, and that means romance is heating up. At least for some people, because for others, matters of the heart are getting rather, well, shady.
The latest toxic dating trend taking over the steamy season is summer shading, and it's the opposite of hot. It's actually very, very cold.
Summer shading is, quite literally, when someone decides to "cool off" their relationship for the summer to free themselves up for flings, travel, whatever they want while staying commitment free. It's not exactly the same as breaking up with someone, or even ghosting them, but rather putting a relationship on pause — and sometimes it's happened before you even realize it.
They stop making plans.
"There's always something in the way of being able to see you right away or during a reasonable time frame," said Hily Dating App expert Julie Nguyen. Maybe they claim their friends are visiting, they are traveling out of the country, family stuff is happening, or work is really busy. "You don't feel like you're the priority. It begins to feel like you're an afterthought, someone they think about if they don't have anything else going on. You feel like you're sidelined for funner, more sparkly plans that don't do anything to center your relationship," said Nguyen.
They're still quite social.
It's not as if they are staying home, eating ice cream, and binge-watching Netflix. "They're full of energy, running around town, and having a lot of fun," said Nguyen. This may mean you're hearing about them out and about at parties and traveling, and maybe even seeing other people. "You hear about the fun adventures they're going on, the vacations they're seeing, and the people they're seeing. You're just not one of them. When you reach out to hang out, they seem like they have time for everything besides you," said Nguyen. You don't feel chosen.
Everything is open-ended.
As in their plans and how they feel about you. "They push things off until you're unsure when you're going to see them next. Everything feels vague as plans push off and conversations take days in between to respond. Making any plans or talking about the relationship becomes uncertain," said Nguyen.
You feel like they're avoiding you more or you're being downright ghosted.
Things feel increasingly distant and uncertain. "Maybe they drop a few breadcrumbs, they want to hang out again in a few weeks to keep you hanging on. You feel enough to keep hoping and hanging onto what you remember of the relationship, but you don't feel secure. It feels like you're stuck in emotional limbo," said Nguyen.
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