Latest news with #KiranaCounselling
Indian Express
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘We separated due to…': What choreographer Prabhudeva and ex-wife Ramlath's story teaches us about emotional maturity after divorce
People rarely speak about their past relationships with grace, especially when the split was messy and played out in the public eye. But 14 years after her divorce from choreographer and filmmaker Prabhudeva, his ex-wife Ramlath finally broke her silence. In an interview with YouTube channel Aval Vikatan, she reflected on their separation and co-parenting journey without bitterness. 'We should have the maturity to accept whatever happens in our life. We separated due to many reasons, but I am not angry at him,' she said. The couple, who parted ways in 2011, have remained respectful of one another publicly, even when their personal lives were being intensely scrutinised. Speaking about their son Rishi Raghavendra Deva's recent stage debut with his father, Ramlath called it a proud moment. She praised Prabhudeva's role as a parent, saying, 'His children are his life. He is very attached to both of them. The father-son trio talk to each other irrespective of the situation.' She added that when it comes to parenting decisions, 'We take every decision mutually.' Even while addressing their past, she remained grounded in mutual respect, stating, 'I would be angry with him if he had said anything bad about me after we broke up, but he never did. I would not say anything bad about someone like that.' Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, says, 'Emotional maturity after a breakup or divorce isn't automatic; it's cultivated through self-awareness, reflection, and time. Acceptance begins when we stop resisting reality, which we often do because it is uncomfortable, and start acknowledging our pain without judgment. Breakup or divorce can trigger deep emotional and attachment wounds, making them incredibly painful to go through.' A post shared by J I N A D H A T T A N (@jinadhattan_official) Practices like mindfulness, journaling, and therapy help individuals process grief and shift from blame to understanding, he adds. 'Emotionally mature individuals also recognise their role in the relationship's dynamics, which prevents the past from controlling their present.' Arora states that co-parenting can work by 'clear communication, setting respectful boundaries, and maintaining a consistent, mutually developed, parenting plan.' He says that it helps when both parties prioritise the well-being of the children over personal grievances. Both the partners need to regulate their emotions, manage triggers effectively and sometimes learn to set their interests or bitterness, if any, towards the other person aside. Arora explains, 'Refraining from public blame, especially when emotions are raw, is not weakness — it's strength. It protects not only one's own peace but also the mental health of any children involved. Public resentment often prolongs pain. It keeps individuals emotionally tethered to the past. On the other hand, when one chooses silence or respectful distance, it can open space for personal healing and growth.' Moreover, he states that when co-parents speak poorly of one another, it deeply impacts children. They may feel torn or internalise the negativity. Respectful silence fosters a healthier environment for everyone involved, even in the face of disagreement.
Indian Express
12-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘Main kisi ajnabee ko apne dil ki baat…': Aamir Khan says he resisted therapy during separation from Reena Dutta; why some men struggle to seek support
Opening up about one of the most emotionally turbulent phases of his life, Aamir Khan recently shared his deeply personal thoughts on seeking therapy during his separation from Reena Dutta. In a conversation with Pinkvilla, he reflected on his initial resistance to marriage counselling, recalling how unfamiliar and uncomfortable the process felt to him. 'Jab Reena aur main alag ho rahe the toh uss waqt kareeban dedh saal ek marriage counselor ke paas gaye the, mera pehla experience tha therapy, counselling ko lekar aur mujhe yaad hai ki main uske sakht khilaaf tha (When Reena and I were separating, we went to a marriage counsellor for about a year and a half. It was my first experience with therapy and counselling, and I remember that I was strongly against it),' he said, admitting that therapy was something he had never previously considered. Aamir also described the mental blocks he carried before opening up to a professional. 'Maine Reena ko bola, 'Mujhe nahi bolna kisi strange insaan ko ki mere kya jazbaat hain ya mera aapka rishta kya raha hai. Main kisi ajnabee ko apne dil ki baat kaise rakhun?' (I told Reena, 'I don't want to tell a stranger what I'm feeling or our relationship has been like. How can I share the matters of my heart with someone I don't even know?').' Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, tells 'We, as Indians, are raised in the culture of 'ghar ki baat ghar mein hi rahni chahie (What happens at home, should stay at home).' Meaning that the private conversations are not to be shared with the outside world, with the fear of being judged, looked down upon and worst 'nazar'.' A post shared by SHS BLOG (@shadabhussainsiddiquishsblog) On top of this, he says that men are raised in cultures where emotional privacy, self-reliance, and stoicism are subtly or overtly encouraged. And being a 'girl,' crying or being vulnerable are considered non-masculine. 'For many men, talking about 'jazbaat' (emotions) is deeply personal and sometimes shame-laden, especially if emotional expression was never modeled or validated during upbringing. Furthermore, therapy can feel like surrendering control—sharing pain with someone unfamiliar, risking judgment, or fearing that one's reality might be reframed in unsettling ways,' notes Arora. Counselling isn't just about reconciliation, especially during or after a separation. Arora explains, 'It helps people reflect on their patterns, emotional blind spots, unmet needs, and sometimes, unspoken guilt. It allows partners to grieve the loss while also re-examining who they were in the relationship and who they are becoming outside it.' It becomes increasingly challenging if kids and co-parenting are involved. 'But counselling post-separation takes more individual form, laden with introspection and retrospection. It can quietly but powerfully nudge people toward accountability — not in the legal sense, but in the emotional one,' concludes the expert.
Indian Express
23-04-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘Maa and Naseer had a more rocky relationship': When Ratna Pathak Shah recalled her family's disapproval of her marriage to Naseeruddin Shah and the key to their lasting relationship
Marriage often brings together not just two individuals but also their families, cultures, and beliefs. Actor Ratna Pathak Shah shared how her family initially disapproved of her marriage to Naseeruddin Shah, while his family was more accepting. In an interview with Hauterrfly, she recalled, 'My dad was not entirely happy, but unfortunately, he passed away before we got married. Maa and Naseer had a more rocky relationship, but they settled also and eventually became friends.' She continued, 'Naseer's family surprisingly didn't make a fuss at all. Not once did anybody ever even mention the 'C' word, convert. Nobody said anything about me. They just accepted me for what I am. I'm very, very lucky because I've heard of people who have trouble settling down.' Ratna also reflected on the dynamics of their marriage. She said, 'Just listen to each other, man. Actually talk to each other. I respect him and his struggles very much more than my own because I got it easy. Naseer comes from a very traditional, particular kind of background.' Reflecting on the secrets of a successful marriage, she said, 'Naseer said to me very early on in our relationship that it's a good idea never to label a relationship, husband, wife, lover, girlfriend, boyfriend. Why label if you can just keep yourself more at the level of human beings, interact.' Her insights shed light on how relationships evolve over time and the key factors that contribute to a strong partnership. How to navigate family disapproval without deepening divisions Family disapproval can create emotional stress, not just within the family but also between partners. Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder at Kirana Counselling, tells ' Family disapproval can trigger deep emotional and attachment wounds. This can create stress not just within the family, but in the couple subsystem as well, as partners may polarise — one defending the family while the other defends the relationship.' View this post on Instagram A post shared by HAUTERRFLY | A Fork Media Group Co. (@hauterrfly) Healthy communication is key. 'The core idea while navigating such stuck points is to turn the conversation away from jibes, criticism, assumptions, and expectations towards a conversation about values, vulnerability, and individual as well as family needs,' he explains. Strong couples co-regulate, validate each other's emotions, and create unity despite external pressures. Can rejecting traditional gender roles improve marital satisfaction? Breaking away from traditional gender roles in marriage can be liberating, but if not managed well, it may lead to challenges. 'Rejecting traditional gender roles can lead to more marital chaos if it were to exist in isolation without strong communication about one's needs, wants, boundaries, and expectations,' says Arora. While roles exist for equitable distribution of tasks, sudden rejection of predefined roles without discussion can disrupt the household dynamic. The solution? 'Clear communication, first within the couple and then with the family,' he advises. When done well, this strengthens emotional bonds and builds trust, ultimately enhancing marital satisfaction. Does avoiding labels in a relationship help or hurt? Arora explains, 'According to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, secure bonds thrive on clear emotional engagement and mutual responsiveness. If the lack of labels becomes a way to avoid emotional vulnerability or commitment, it can erode trust.' However, for some, avoiding labels can be freeing. 'Labels can be liberating and can aid the person to explore and experience their sense of individuality and the process of being with someone,' he says. Ultimately, it comes down to intent. 'It boils down to the intention of the individual and what they hope to gain from the dynamic,' Arora notes.
