‘We separated due to…': What choreographer Prabhudeva and ex-wife Ramlath's story teaches us about emotional maturity after divorce

Indian Express

29-05-2025

People rarely speak about their past relationships with grace, especially when the split was messy and played out in the public eye. But 14 years after her divorce from choreographer and filmmaker Prabhudeva, his ex-wife Ramlath finally broke her silence. In an interview with YouTube channel Aval Vikatan, she reflected on their separation and co-parenting journey without bitterness. 'We should have the maturity to accept whatever happens in our life. We separated due to many reasons, but I am not angry at him,' she said.
The couple, who parted ways in 2011, have remained respectful of one another publicly, even when their personal lives were being intensely scrutinised. Speaking about their son Rishi Raghavendra Deva's recent stage debut with his father, Ramlath called it a proud moment. She praised Prabhudeva's role as a parent, saying, 'His children are his life. He is very attached to both of them. The father-son trio talk to each other irrespective of the situation.'
She added that when it comes to parenting decisions, 'We take every decision mutually.' Even while addressing their past, she remained grounded in mutual respect, stating, 'I would be angry with him if he had said anything bad about me after we broke up, but he never did. I would not say anything bad about someone like that.'
Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, says, 'Emotional maturity after a breakup or divorce isn't automatic; it's cultivated through self-awareness, reflection, and time. Acceptance begins when we stop resisting reality, which we often do because it is uncomfortable, and start acknowledging our pain without judgment. Breakup or divorce can trigger deep emotional and attachment wounds, making them incredibly painful to go through.'
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Practices like mindfulness, journaling, and therapy help individuals process grief and shift from blame to understanding, he adds. 'Emotionally mature individuals also recognise their role in the relationship's dynamics, which prevents the past from controlling their present.'
Arora states that co-parenting can work by 'clear communication, setting respectful boundaries, and maintaining a consistent, mutually developed, parenting plan.' He says that it helps when both parties prioritise the well-being of the children over personal grievances. Both the partners need to regulate their emotions, manage triggers effectively and sometimes learn to set their interests or bitterness, if any, towards the other person aside.
Arora explains, 'Refraining from public blame, especially when emotions are raw, is not weakness — it's strength. It protects not only one's own peace but also the mental health of any children involved. Public resentment often prolongs pain. It keeps individuals emotionally tethered to the past. On the other hand, when one chooses silence or respectful distance, it can open space for personal healing and growth.'
Moreover, he states that when co-parents speak poorly of one another, it deeply impacts children. They may feel torn or internalise the negativity. Respectful silence fosters a healthier environment for everyone involved, even in the face of disagreement.