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ABC News
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- ABC News
Is it OK to shame the Coldplay kiss cam couple?
Sam Hawley: If you hadn't realised by now that cameras are everywhere, so-called Coldplay-gate is a great reminder. And the Kisscam vision of a canoodling couple at the concert, who are apparently having an affair, is proof again how quickly word can travel on social media. Saying it went viral is an understatement. Today, political scientists from Loyola University in Chicago, Jennifer Forstall, on public shaming and when it can sometimes be a good thing. I'm Sam Hawley on Gadigal land in Sydney. This is ABC News Daily. Jennifer, we better start with a little recap from the Coldplay concert last week in Boston. I think at this point we all feel like we were there. Jennifer Forestal: Right, yeah. Social media will do that. Sam Hawley: Yes, exactly. It's got a fair bit of attention. So it was during this concert that Chris Martin, Coldplay's frontman, announced that he would be singing to a select few people in the crowd using cameras to say hello to members of the audience. Just tell me what happened after that. Jennifer Forestal: Right. So as I understand it, the Kisscam, as it's often called, is sort of going through the crowd, catching couples. Chris Martin, Coldplay lead singer: We'd like to say hello to some of you in the crowd. How we're going to do that is we're going to use our cameras and put some of you on the big screen. Jennifer Forestal: And it happened upon a couple that was embracing and then very quickly realized the camera was on them and turned away, you know, ducked under the cover. Chris Martin, Coldplay lead singer: All right, come on, you're OK? Uh-oh, what? Either they're having an affair or they're just very shy. Jennifer Forestal: And it turned out that he was absolutely right. Sam Hawley: Yeah, what a moment. OK, then the identities, of course, of this couple in the vision is confirmed as Andy Byron, who's a married chief executive of a tech company called Astronomer and Kristen Cabot, the company's chief people officer, who, by the way, is not his wife. And things haven't been going so well for them since then, have they? Jennifer Forestal: That's right. I think Andy Byron was put on leave. I think maybe actually they both were put on leave pending investigation by the company. And then we've quickly found out that Andy Byron submitted his resignation, which was accepted. News report: Astronomer said in a statement that Andy Byron had tended his resignation and the board of directors have accepted that resignation. This clip went viral. Jennifer Forestal: I think the jury is still out on what's happening with Kristen Cabot. I believe she's still employed with the company right now, but we'll see what happens there as well. Sam Hawley: Yeah, and of course, this vision, it has been beamed around the world. The original footage was taken by a TikTok user known as Instaagrace. And that vision that she posted has been viewed 124 million times. It's pretty extraordinary. Jennifer Forestal: It really is. I think it speaks to just the kind of virality that we can see on these technologies these days. Part of it is just kind of the, it's salacious. The way that we all kind of like to watch disasters unfold in front of us. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that there's a kind of turn against sort of CEOs and wealthy elites more generally. So it feels kind of nice to see them sort of, see their life get ruined in front of our eyes. But at the end of the day, really, I think it's just another example of the sort of strife and effect, right? That if they hadn't done anything, if they would have just stayed sort of embracing and sort of waved at the camera, we wouldn't have thought twice about it. But it's the fact that they sort of reacted the way that they did that called attention to the fact that they were perhaps doing something wrong, which, again, if they would have just, you know, hugged each other and moved on, the camera would have gone to the next person. Chris Martin wouldn't have said anything. And we wouldn't be talking about this today. Sam Hawley: And the memes, you know, there's so many of them going around. They're calling it Coldplaygate. Jennifer Forestal: You know, they just kind of all are all over the place and they're all very funny. And I think some of what I think is so striking about this is that, to me, has been picked up in this kind of very funny way where it's not necessarily attacking the people involved, but it's kind of making light of the general situation and putting other people in that kind of circumstances rather than sort of going after the two people that were involved directly. Sam Hawley: The woman who posted this on TikTok, Grace Springer, she told The Sun newspaper that part of her feels bad for turning these people's lives upside down. But she says, play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. But she also said on TikTok that she's glad people are entertained, but she's really urged them to keep in mind the CEO's wife and his family. Grace Springer, TikTok user: But at the end of the day, Andy's wife and his family, they're very real people. So just keep that in mind. Jennifer Forestal: Yeah, of course. And I mean, you know, I've seen this is sort of a topic of debate, especially in this particular instance of public shaming or cancel culture, whatever you want to call it, is that these this particular instance happened in a public forum. You know, kiss cams are not necessarily an unusual invasion of privacy. They've been around for decades or pretty familiar to anybody who's been to a sporting event or a rock show or anything like that. So, you know, there's some argument to the point that's like, you know, if you are going to show up in a concert of 60,000 people, you know, don't expect to see privacy. It's not like they were filmed in their privacy of their own home or in a place that you might expect to get some sort of privacy. On the other hand, you know, it is sort of pointing out the just general surveillance state that we all live under these days, right? That anything can go viral, anything can be filmed by anybody else and uploaded to social media where it could get picked up and viewed by millions. And so I think there's a lot to consider. You know, it's not necessarily a straightforward, you know, they did something wrong and they should pay or they're completely victims in the situation. I just it's I just think it's complicated. Sam Hawley: Well, Jennifer, let's just unpack this a bit more, because as you say, it is actually rather complicated. This is basically public shaming, isn't it? It is. Just explain that a bit more. Jennifer Forestal: Yeah. So public shaming is oftentimes a general term that we use when people have violated some sort of social norm and are sort of publicly shamed, meaning they're like put through the ringer publicly. People sort of admonish them for doing this, whatever sort of violation it is. And so, you know, in a lot of ways, oftentimes when we think about public shaming in a digital age, it's called cancel culture. We think of things like going viral on Twitter, people being racist and things like that. And so what we're seeing here is in some ways an example of public shaming in the sense that this is a couple who have violated a norm of monogamy, presumably, and are sort of being publicly rebuked for going outside of the standard modes of behavior. And so people are sort of taking them to task and ridiculing them for that norm violation. And so, you know, some people would say that this is a violation of their privacy, that this is an overreaction or an inappropriate public reaction. And others would say, you know, it's exactly what they deserve for violating a social norm of monogamy. Sam Hawley: But Byron, he's hardly Jeffrey Epstein, right? Or Harvey Weinstein. He's just some guy who's gone to a concert. And people have deemed that he's behaved badly, but it seems pretty over the top, the amount of interest in him. Jennifer Forestal: Yeah, this is oftentimes one of the criticisms that we see of online public shaming in particular, right? That the scale of social media, the fact that so many people can jump on something so small, the fact that things can go public that wouldn't ordinarily be public, that this is a kind of violation or a kind of pathology of public shaming, that it's no longer working the way we might have in the past intended it to, where people, you know, broke a rule, were shamed for it, they changed their behavior and were welcomed back into the fold. And so, yeah, a lot of people would say this is the problem with cancel culture is that it incentivizes these overreactions, that their mob rule kind of goes unchecked, that there's no accountability for people who shame. And so they kind of, you know, go after people with no real seeming concern about what they might be doing to the victim of public shaming. And, you know, there's a lot to be said for that argument. I think that that is right in a lot of ways. I don't, you know, I think that there is a role for public shaming in public life. And I think it's worth thinking about sort of what is going on in cases of online public shaming, where the scale, the accountability mechanisms are maybe missing to make it valuable. Sam Hawley: Mm, all right. So you believe that public shaming is not bad in all cases. So just give me some examples when in fact it has led to good. Jennifer Forestal: So there are some violations that we, you know, wouldn't want to see people engage in, but we don't want the state to be involved in either. Right. So we don't want people to, for example, lie to their friends, but we also don't want them to be punished, like by jail if they are. In order to make sure that people keep their promises, we would publicly shame the people that don't. And then they would understand that that's a problem. Other people watching the public shaming would understand that they too would be shamed if they lie to their friends. And so we would presumably establish the social norm of not doing that. Other things that are very good candidates for public shaming are things where the state won't, for whatever reason, get involved. So there's a great book by a woman named Jennifer Jacquet about how public shaming has really been effective to use for shaming companies or corporations. So companies are oftentimes outside. They're sometimes not regulated maybe to the extent that people would want. And so public shaming campaigns can oftentimes get corporations to act in ways that people would like to see them act without necessarily getting the state involved in regulating them. Sam Hawley: Well, we do live in a world, Jennifer, where it can take a very long time to build up a reputation, but a moment to lose it. Do you think there is actually a lesson in all of this for us? Jennifer Forestal: I think that there's probably a few lessons, maybe not all of which are actionable. You know, the first is that there's a kind of a pragmatic warning in this, which is, you know, for better or worse, people are watching you in public spaces and you can get filmed doing whatever you do. And so people should probably be aware of that. Again, I'm not sure that that's necessarily a good thing or the kind of world that we want to live in, but it is the world that we do live in. And so it's important that people just, you know, remember that when they go about their daily business. More sort of philosophically, I think that it's important to when we think about public shaming and when we think about people going viral, it is also important to remember that those are real people. You know, what seems to one person to just be a kind of joke that they throw off into a tweet doesn't matter as much from that perspective. But from the perspective of the butt of the joke, it's 100,000 mean comments or 100,000 jokes at your expense. And that can oftentimes do more damage than I think we tend to think about when it's just us writing our individual response. Also thinking about ourselves in terms of the sort of collectives that we are in online. Social media platforms are oftentimes not designed to help us think about ourselves as part of communities or collectives, but we are. And so I think, again, thinking a little bit more about our online presence as part of communities rather than as individual or isolated actions is also something to keep in mind as well. Sam Hawley: What do you think? Do you think this couple deserved the level of public shaming that they were exposed to? Jennifer Forestal: You know, I don't. I don't. Probably not. No. But I will say this. It was striking to me as someone who's been thinking about this for a while that I actually don't think that Andy Byron got the same level of kind of vitriolic response that other victims of public shaming have. So if you think about high profile cases of public shaming in the past, people like Justine Sacco, who had the kind of racist South Africa tweet, or Amy Cooper, who had an altercation with a Black man in Central Park a few years ago, that these women in particular were dragged through the mud. They wereâ€'death threats were sent to them. They faced all sorts of personal attacks in a way that I have not heard is true of Andy Byron. So there, I think, is also an important thing to consider here in terms of gender, which is how your social position can sometimes insulate you from the effects of public shaming and what kinds of people are oftentimes more vulnerable to these kinds of situations. And so while I wouldn't say that anyone is sort of deserving of this kind of attack, especially individuals like that, I also am sort of aware and cognizant of the fact that different people in different social positions sort of react to or have a different response to that kind of situation. Sam Hawley: And also, I guess, the lesson, the big one, is if you don't want to be seen with someone at a big public event, perhaps don't go to that event with that person. Jennifer Forestal: Yeah, or again, maybe just play it cool. If you're caught doing something that you don't want people to react to, don't react to it yourself. Sam Hawley: Yeah, the poker face would have gone a long way. Jennifer, thank you so much. Jennifer Forestal: Of course. Thank you for having me. Sam Hawley: Jennifer Forstall is an Associate Professor of Political Science at Loyola University in Chicago. This episode was produced by Sydney Pead. Audio production by Sam Dunn. Our supervising producer is David Coady. I'm Sam Hawley. Thanks for listening.
Courier-Mail
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Courier-Mail
Coldplay warns fans after kiss cam couple furore
Don't miss out on the headlines from Music Tours. Followed categories will be added to My News. Coldplay front man Chris Martin made a warning to concertgoers on Saturday night, US time, letting them know the kiss cam was about to be turned on and could broadcast their relationship to the world. Adulterers be warned: disentangle pronto. It comes after the extraordinary fallout from a Coldplay concert in Boston last week when the kiss cam settled on Andy Byron and Kristin Cabot who were embracing at the time. Both were senior executives at New York data firm Astronomer with Mr Byron the company's chief executive. X SUBSCRIBER ONLY The image of the pair canoodling and then frantically ducking for cover went global. 'Either they're having an affair or they're very shy,' Martin said from the stage. Mr Byron is married and not to Ms Cabot. Astronomer placed Mr Byron on leave and he has subsequently resigned. Chris Martin of British rock band Coldplay. (Photo by TOBIAS STEINMAURER / APA / AFP) On Saturday, Martin forewarned the crowd im Madison, west of Milwaukee in the US state of Wisconsin, so a similar awkward encounter could be avoided. 'We'd like to say hello to some of you in the crowd, how we gonna do that, is we gonna use our cameras and put some of you on the big screen,' Martin told the crowd at a show at Madison's Camp Randall Stadium. 'So please, if you haven't done your makeup, do your makeup now,' he added. Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and colleague Kristin Cabot at a Coldplay Concert in Boston on the concert Kiss Cam. Picture: supplied They went global after ducking for cover from the camera's glare. Picture: TikTok Kiss cam CEO's salary emerges It's emerged that as CEO of Astronomer, Mr Byron had been on a tidy sum. According to the New York Post, Mr Byron was paid between $US469,000 and $US690,000 ($A717,000 to $A1 million) a year, plus performance-based bonuses. He is believed to be worth $US50 million ($A76 million), and the most recent valuation for Astronomer placed the company's worth at $US1.3 billion ($A2 billion). However, he won't be getting that pay cheque after he resigned from his leadership role at the firm. Astronomer confirmed Mr Byron had quit on Saturday. 'Astronomer is committed to the values and culture that have guided us since our founding. Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability, and recently, that standard was not met,' a spokesman said, reported The New York Post. 'Andy Byron has tendered his resignation, and the Board of Directors has accepted. 'The Board will begin a search for our next Chief Executive as Cofounder and Chief Product Officer Pete DeJoy continues to serve as interim CEO.' Andy Byron has resigned as CEO of the AI-centric New York firm Astronomer. Picture: Astronomer Mr DeJoy seemed to be enjoying the furore. He 'liked' a LinkedIn post from Zachary Hensley — who was the vice president of technology and operations at Astronomer from 2019 to 2024 — in which he admitted, 'Yes, I've laughed at the memes'. The former staffer shared, however, that he had mixed feelings about the entire ordeal, adding, 'But I also know Astronomer is more than one moment or one person. It's a team of smart, kind, driven people doing incredible work. And I'll always be rooting for them.' Mr Hensley noted in his post that despite seeing all of the memes and having shared 'more than a few,' he 'felt a strange mix of pride, nostalgia, and whiplash' before gushing about his time at the tech company. Originally published as Coldplay warning after kiss cam couple furore
Metro
7 days ago
- Entertainment
- Metro
What to do when your partner betrays you — and everyone else knows about it
To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports HTML5 video Being cheated on can be devastating – but discovering it in public or realising you're the last one to know takes heartbreak to a whole new level. This week, Coldplay's Chris Martin playfully remarked that a couple were 'either having an affair or they're just very shy' as they dodged out the way of a Kisscam during the band's concert at Gillette Stadium in Boston. Internet sleuths quickly claimed the pair were Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and his HR chief Kristin Cabot. While the the exact nature of what was going on between them is yet to be confirmed, a woman reported to be Byron's wife, Megan Kerrigan Byron, later deleted her social media – and Chris told the crowd: 'I hope we didn't do something bad.' So, whatever happened between Andy and Kristin, what should you do when your partner betrays you and everyone's there to witness it? It's one thing to be hurt in private. But it's another to be publicly humiliated, with friends, colleagues and strangers in the loop. Claire Renier, dating expert at happn, says the public element adds an extra layer of embarrassment. 'Your partner cheating in private is heartbreaking and a complete violation of your trust,' she tells Metro. 'For this to happen publicly with the world's eyes on it can bring forth feelings of embarrassment and shame, beyond just the emotional turmoil of being betrayed.' It's easy to feel conscious with public eyes on the situation, but Claire says it's important to focus on yourself and your relationship during this period. 'Block out the outside noise and prioritise the next steps in your relationship and in your life,' she says. The world might be waiting for Andy Byron and Kristin Cabot to submit a statement on what has or hasn't happened, but don't feel obliged to post any explanations on social media or let friends know what's what. It can be difficult not to feel resentful at your partner after cheating, so Claire says it's important to 'take some time to calm down and clear your mind before having a conversation about everything'. Claire says: 'Staying with a partner after infidelity can be a difficult decision, and there's no right or wrong answer. You shouldn't judge yourself for staying, as it's based on an individual's preference, situation, circumstances and feelings.' But, if you can't get past the betrayal, she advises ending the relationship sooner rather than later. 'Be clear-cut about the ending and don't hesitate back and forth in a limbo state as that will only cause you further heartbreak, and you won't be able to heal.' Although difficult, she says 'walking away is a form of self-respect', especially if your trust has been shattered. Some couples may decide it's something they want to work through. If this is the case, it's important to be transparent. More Trending 'Set expectations moving forward, and forgive and move on. You can't hold it against them for every little thing or build resentment otherwise the relationship won't recover,' Claire says. 'Trust can be rebuilt, but only if both parties are willing, and some couples come back stronger after it, but only when the cheater takes accountability and the betrayed partner genuinely wants to rebuild.' If this is the route you want to take, Claire suggests going to couples counselling to help work through the process with a professional. 'It's important to not be alone, and lean on your support system in this challenging period,' she says. 'It's important to confide in friends, family, or even a therapist. You should talk to people who can help you process what happened without judgement. While there are no definitive signs of infidelity, Claire says sudden shifts in behaviour could indicate problems in a relationship. Still, she urges couples not to jump to conclusions without a conversation. 'You know your relationship and your partner better than anyone, and if you feel that something is off, listen to your instincts and have a conversation.' However, she adds that it's important not to be paranoid about every little sign or warning. Here are five red flags to look out for – and what they could mean, according to Claire. Are they taking more interest in their appearance? In any new relationship, it's common to want to dress to impress. However, if you're already in a committed relationship and your partner suddenly changes their attention to their looks or is hitting the gym more, it could be that they're trying to reignite the attraction and spark in your relationship, or it could potentially indicate that they're trying to impress someone else. Is your partner acting cagey with their tech? If they've changed their passwords, are now less likely to leave their devices lying around, or quickly take their device out of your hand if you're passing it over or checking something on it, this could potentially be an indication they have something to hide. Have they changed up their behaviour and routines? If your partner has recently altered their behaviour or routines significantly and consistently, this can be a sign something isn't right. There may be patterns emerging that are different to before. Are you feeling a greater emotional or physical distance from them? If someone is cheating, they are more likely to take a step back from their relationship with you, whether this is being less affectionate, more critical, or even less interested in physical intimacy. Even if they're still physical, they may emotionally distance themselves by spending less quality time, having conversations or doing things together. Have you noticed any differences in your finances? In a relationship, it's common to share your finances – whether this is by having a joint account or knowing where your partner's accounts lie. If you're suddenly seeing anything like unusual charges, unexplained cash withdrawals or even a decrease in shared funds, you should have an honest conversation with your partner about it. Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: Think twice before you mock the Coldplay kiss-cam couple MORE: A weekly 'porn night' helps keep my relationship alive MORE: Story about Kiss Cam Guy has taken a bizarre twist with a dash of denial Your free newsletter guide to the best London has on offer, from drinks deals to restaurant reviews.
