Latest news with #L
Telegraph
05-08-2025
- General
- Telegraph
Dear Richard Madeley: I've just found out my husband had an affair
Dear Richard, My husband and I have been married for over 40 years. Recently, I discovered quite by chance that he had an affair about 14 years ago with a woman 25 years his junior. They went their separate ways and I don't know of any other times he's strayed. Needless to say, I was utterly flabbergasted as I had absolutely no idea anything was going on at all. Since I discovered the affair, I've tried extremely hard to act normally around him but I'm now suffering from low self-esteem, and feeling insecure, anxious and vulnerable. It's undermined what I thought was a basically good relationship. I am in two minds as to whether to raise this with him – I also don't want to talk to our (grown-up) children about it. Part of me thinks these things happen and he has never been inattentive or cold towards me, so I shouldn't rock the boat or risk other things coming to light – I certainly don't feel 'vindictive' towards him, just hurt and confused. Should I bring the subject up? — L, via email Dear L, Well, well. Quite a conundrum for a Saturday morning. Firstly, my congratulations on keeping such a cool head. You would have been fully justified in confronting your husband the moment you discovered his infidelity – and I'm sure many of my readers, finding themselves in a similar position, would have done exactly that. But you have bided your time. You have paused to reflect. Interestingly (indeed paradoxically) it is you now who holds a secret – your husband's secret – and he who is living in blissful ignorance. He doesn't know what you know. That puts you in a position of power, L. The question, of course, is how and whether to use it – and to what end. And there I'm afraid I must reflect your request for advice about what to do next directly back at you. Not because I'm timid or dodging the question, or at a loss for an answer, but because you and only you, L, can possibly know what will work for you. The reasons for what he did present an almost infinite list of possibilities. Some explanations are somewhat kinder than others. Was he chasing some notion of lost youth? Was he insecure and in need of validation? Did he simply fall into temptation, come to regret it, and end the affair? Or is he – as you yourself speculate – a serial cheat? Is he a master of the double life? Is he anything but the man you have, for 40 years, taken him to be? You wouldn't be the first to discover, late in the day, that their partner is a Jekyll and Hyde. Judging by the tone and content of your letter, with its description of a warm and attentive partner, I doubt the latter, darker theories – although you never know. The problem is that if and when you confront him with his affair, he may simply lie about it and the reasons for it and, frankly, you'll be no further forward than you are now. The best advice I can offer is that you ask yourself a much simpler question. Can you live with this knowledge if you keep it to yourself, indefinitely? Will it eat away at you? Or would you find at least some catharsis in confrontation, even if telling your husband what you know doesn't necessarily bring you any closer to understanding or forgiving his behaviour? Only you can answer that, L. I'm so sorry that you should have to wrestle with such a difficult, painful question at this stage in your life and marriage. Of course, you just cut through all of it and divorce the old so-and-so. Kick him out. Have you considered that? Just a thought.
Yahoo
05-08-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Dear Richard Madeley: I've just found out my husband had an affair
Dear Richard, My husband and I have been married for over 40 years. Recently, I discovered quite by chance that he had an affair about 14 years ago with a woman 25 years his junior. They went their separate ways and I don't know of any other times he's strayed. Needless to say, I was utterly flabbergasted as I had absolutely no idea anything was going on at all. Since I discovered the affair, I've tried extremely hard to act normally around him but I'm now suffering from low self-esteem, and feeling insecure, anxious and vulnerable. It's undermined what I thought was a basically good relationship. I am in two minds as to whether to raise this with him – I also don't want to talk to our (grown-up) children about it. Part of me thinks these things happen and he has never been inattentive or cold towards me, so I shouldn't rock the boat or risk other things coming to light – I certainly don't feel 'vindictive' towards him, just hurt and confused. Should I bring the subject up? — L, via email Dear L, Well, well. Quite a conundrum for a Saturday morning. Firstly, my congratulations on keeping such a cool head. You would have been fully justified in confronting your husband the moment you discovered his infidelity – and I'm sure many of my readers, finding themselves in a similar position, would have done exactly that. But you have bided your time. You have paused to reflect. Interestingly (indeed paradoxically) it is you now who holds a secret – your husband's secret – and he who is living in blissful ignorance. He doesn't know what you know. That puts you in a position of power, L. The question, of course, is how and whether to use it – and to what end. And there I'm afraid I must reflect your request for advice about what to do next directly back at you. Not because I'm timid or dodging the question, or at a loss for an answer, but because you and only you, L, can possibly know what will work for you. The reasons for what he did present an almost infinite list of possibilities. Some explanations are somewhat kinder than others. Was he chasing some notion of lost youth? Was he insecure and in need of validation? Did he simply fall into temptation, come to regret it, and end the affair? Or is he – as you yourself speculate – a serial cheat? Is he a master of the double life? Is he anything but the man you have, for 40 years, taken him to be? You wouldn't be the first to discover, late in the day, that their partner is a Jekyll and Hyde. Judging by the tone and content of your letter, with its description of a warm and attentive partner, I doubt the latter, darker theories – although you never know. The problem is that if and when you confront him with his affair, he may simply lie about it and the reasons for it and, frankly, you'll be no further forward than you are now. The best advice I can offer is that you ask yourself a much simpler question. Can you live with this knowledge if you keep it to yourself, indefinitely? Will it eat away at you? Or would you find at least some catharsis in confrontation, even if telling your husband what you know doesn't necessarily bring you any closer to understanding or forgiving his behaviour? Only you can answer that, L. I'm so sorry that you should have to wrestle with such a difficult, painful question at this stage in your life and marriage. Of course, you just cut through all of it and divorce the old so-and-so. Kick him out. Have you considered that? Just a thought. Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more. Solve the daily Crossword
CTV News
23-07-2025
- CTV News
Alliston man accused of murder in 2023 disappearance of Derek Perry
Jonn Gagnon (L) and Krystal Carleton (R) are accused in the homicide of Derek Perry. (Supplied)
Malay Mail
20-06-2025
- Malay Mail
Shot cyclist may have hidden route through Singapore military live-firing zone, say sources
SINGAPORE, June 20 — The cyclist who was shot while riding in a live-firing zone in the Central Catchment Nature Reserve is being investigated for wilful trespass — and now faces fresh scrutiny over possible efforts to hide the route he and his friends took. Sources told The Straits Times (ST) that the 42-year-old man, identified only as L, did not immediately inform police or hospital staff that he had been in the vicinity of the Singapore Armed Forces' (SAF) Nee Soon Range when he was struck by a bullet slug on June 15. Although L was taken to the National University Hospital (NUH) at about 1pm, police were not notified until 11.55pm — over 12 hours later. The projectile, which lodged in his lower left back, narrowly missed his kidney. NUH said he underwent surgery at 10pm, when the foreign object was removed and identified as a bullet slug. 'During triage and initial clinical assessment, the patient did not report that he had been shot. There were no overt signs to indicate a firearm-related injury... 'Once the cause of the external wound was definitively determined, we notified the police immediately,' a hospital spokesman said. Both NUH and the Ministry of Defence (Mindef) said they are cooperating with police, who are now investigating whether L deliberately withheld key information. Meanwhile, checks by ST showed that L, a regular user of the Strava cycling app, had entered the Woodcutter's Trail — an unofficial and restricted track — from Chestnut Nature Park at about 11am with a group of roughly 10 riders. Another cyclist, W, a frequent riding partner, has since deleted his June 15 data from Strava. However, the route was still visible on his public Garmin profile. Mindef said the incident occurred around 11.40am, during an SAF live-firing exercise. L initially denied being in a restricted zone but admitted it the following day. The Gurkha Contingent was deployed to sweep the area that night. Strava logs reviewed by ST show L had used the trail regularly since 2014, with at least 10 rides logged there in 2025 alone. After ST visited a Pasir Panjang-area bike shop frequented by L and W, W made his tracking data private and L deleted his social media accounts. Other cyclists also began removing photos and videos of their rides in the area. Mindef reiterated that SAF training zones are off-limits under the Military Manoeuvres Act to protect public safety. Investigations are ongoing.
Daily Mail
19-05-2025
- Daily Mail
Two toxic WhatsApp words destroyed my holiday with friends. Now I'm desperate for payback over our pricey trip: VICKY REYNAL has the answer
Dear Vicky, I've booked a hotel with two friends for the bank holiday thinking the cost would split three ways. But my two friends have fallen out and now one of them is not coming. 'L' left the group chat in anger and her last words were 'I'm out'. L has written to me separately to say she has nothing against me, but didn't mention what will happen with her share of the trip. We each booked our own travel, but shouldn't she still pay for her share of the Airbnb
