Latest news with #LauraBoyle
India Today
4 days ago
- General
- India Today
Why arbitrary-versary might be killing the romance in your relationship
Is remembering anniversaries necessary in a relationship? Hold, don't come at us just wedding anniversaries or birthdays used to be an annual affair, and even then, many couples would let it slip. But in today's relationship landscape, the annual celebration has slowly turned into a relay of mini-milestones. Staying together for 1, 3, or 6 months? That's a celebration, too, for could be a year since your first kiss, the first time you cooked together, or the day your partner gave you their Instagram password. Put a date on it — that's the word on the street. Basically, anything can call for a toast. Arbitrary or not, it now deserves some kind of celebration because sometimes, you just might not have time for the actual one. It is, what people are calling - an arbitrary-versary, or simply, the 'arbitrary anniversary', a made-up date that celebrates mildly memorable things. View this post on Instagram A post shared by dani (@dani__brennan)This term was coined by Laura Boyle, a polyamory expert, who believes that these bizarre or wacky anniversaries are 'just a fun excuse to mark the passage of time with someone you love and intend to spend more time with.' Whether it's silly, sweet, or straight-up random, the point is that you are choosing to honour it together. And hey, it doesn't even have to be your actual anniversary. Arbitrariness at its peak!Too arbitrary?advertisementIn her blog post, Boyle talks about celebrating random dates in a romantic relationship because, sometimes, life just happens, and you either forget or can't celebrate it properly. Citing an example, she writes in her post, 'I'm the partner who knows it's not our actual anniversary but will send you a 'happy anniversary of our first kiss! ''. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Alex Blue Davis (@alexbluedavis)Sweet as it may sound, but are these mini-celebrations simply a cute way to connect, or are we actually complicating things more? This brings us back to the question: Is remembering anniversaries even necessary?The answer? Not experts believe that remembering an anniversary isn't strictly necessary. What is of more importance is genuine care, attention and some couples, marking specific dates, whether traditional milestones or random moments, feels heartfelt and strengthens their bond. On the other hand, for others, rigidly tracking dates can feel more like a chore than make them happy.'If you consistently show up for your partner, listen actively, offer support, and share quality time, then the exact date holds less weight. Instead of focusing on remembering 'the day,' prioritise ongoing gestures of appreciation,' says Dr Chandni Tungait, psychotherapist and founder-director of Gateway of it (un)complicate things?These light-hearted celebrations are meant to take the pressure off. Even if you forget a formal anniversary, you can still toast to a fun memory. It probably helps you catch your feelings while you're busy catching deadlines. In the end, it's all about keeping the spark to Dr Tungait, these micro-rituals train your nervous system to associate each other with comfort, enhancing emotional co-regulation during stress.'Arbitrary anniversaries serve as deliberate 'positivity anchors' in memory; each reminder nudges your attention back to joyful, inconsequential events, helping to counterbalance conflict or frustration. They build a private language too - phrases like 'Late-Night Subway Laughs' become shortcuts to warmth, making it easier to reconnect even in chaotic times', she a butWhile it may seem all rosy, it is no fix-it-all hack, and experts Because let's be real, if you already struggle to remember birthdays or your parents' anniversaries, adding more events to your calendar might be stressful. Worse, if it becomes performative, the spontaneous affection might get lost under all that one partner requires such constant reminders to feel secure, it might point to some deeper trust or intimacy issues. And then, it's not much of a celebration, it's a what's the solution?Arbitrary anniversaries work best when they arise organically and remain low-pressure. They should complement, not replace, honest communication, emotional vulnerability, and consistent used thoughtfully, these small celebrations enrich a relationship without creating dependency or masking deeper issues. Because the 'G' in gestures need not stand for 'grand' every time. It's about the joys in little moments.'Avoid turning every moment into a calendar event. Balance is key - choose a few genuinely meaningful, fun moments to celebrate as reminders of your bond,' Dr Tungait concludes.
BBC News
16-03-2025
- BBC News
Oldham: 'Fly-tippers blocking road stop me getting to work'
A pharmacist has told how fly-tippers dumping waste on the road outside his house have left him unable to get to Din, who lives on Moss Lane in Ashton-under-Lyne, Tameside, said fridges, rubble, furniture had all been left strewn in the street. The 44-year-old added: "About once a month we get a big load of commercial waste. A fire engine or an ambulance couldn't get down this road, so its safety as well."Asked about one particular recent dumping, Tameside Council said: "We visited the incident, found some evidence, and the waste was removed on the same day." When BBC Radio Manchester visited the area there was a sofa, a fridge, mattresses, carpets, plastic sheeting and car tyres all dumped by the roadside. Mr Din said the illegal tippers have "no consideration for other people"."My kids have been late for school and I've had to replace car tyres due to screws from commercial waste which have been left in the road," he Council has the power to fine fly-tippers £200 while courts can impose unlimited fines and up to five years in prison for large-scale incidents. Over the last financial year the council issued 236 fixed penalty notices for fly-tipping – more than any other local authority in north-west Robinson, who's in charge of waste enforcement, said the authority had adopted a "zero tolerance approach"."My team go time and time again to the same places looking through bags of waste, finding evidence and making sure these people are paying for their actions," he said."Its not a nice job but somebody's got to do it." The number of incidents recorded in Tameside was 2,905 in 2023/24 - a reduction of 34% on the previous Laura Boyle, executive member for environment services, said fly-tipping was "a blight on our environment"."It can be anything from small black bin-bags full of waste to sofas and TVs," she said."The people doing this are disrespecting our environment, they're disrespecting our neighbours and we're not accepting fly-tipping on the streets of Tameside." Despite a fall in Tameside, councils across England dealt with 1.15 million cases of fly-tipping in 2023/24 - an increase of 6% on the previous Ogden-Newton, chief executive of Keep Britain Tidy, said: "Fly-tipping is wrecking both the environment and communities where it significantly contributes to people feeling left behind." The BBC also discovered cases of fly-tipping in the Medlock Valley in Park Bridge, on John Street West in Ashton under Lyne and on Lime Street in Council holds regular clean-up days as part of its Our Streets campaign to work with the community to help make the area cleaner. Listen to the best of BBC Radio Manchester on Sounds and follow BBC Manchester on Facebook, X, and Instagram. You can also send story ideas via Whatsapp to 0808 100 2230.
