Latest news with #Motherly
Yahoo
28-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
'I did this with my first baby—but never again': 10 real lessons from second-time parents
When I had my firstborn, my entire world shifted on its axis. I was consumed by the weight of doing everything 'right.' I wouldn't let anyone help. Not really. If a family member offered to rock him to sleep or feed him a bottle so I could rest, I smiled politely and declined. I felt a deep, unspoken pressure to be everything for him, every minute of the day. And yet, because of financial constraints, I had to return to work just eight weeks postpartum. I was physically and emotionally depleted, and still, I couldn't let go. Before I had my second child, I swore it would be different. I promised myself I would accept help, ask for it even. I wouldn't measure my worth by how much I could carry alone. Ironically, my second was born early, during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Support was scarce. And yet, despite the isolation, I learned to extend myself more grace. I stopped trying to do it all perfectly. I learned, like so many second-time parents do, that growth often comes through grief—letting go of what we thought parenting had to look like. A recent viral thread on Reddit asked parents to share what they did with their first kid that they would never do with their second. The answers struck a chord—and reminded me how deeply we evolve with each child. Here are some of the most powerful lessons, paired with expert-backed resources and tips from Motherly to help you navigate these second-time revelations with compassion. 'I struggled so much breastfeeding them both but with my second I gave myself a lot more grace.' — u/YorkshireDuck91Related: Breastfeeding is a full-time job—and this viral TikTok gets itTip: If you're feeling stuck, talking to a lactation consultant early on can help—but having formula options on hand doesn't mean you're giving up. Combo feeding isn't failure; it's flexibility. 'I tracked feedings and naps, then overanalyzed and compared my days… Now I just follow cues and go with the flow.' — u/ericandidRelated: Viral video shows why 'sleep when the baby sleeps' is a hilarious mythTip: It's okay to use tracking tools—but only if they serve you. Your baby's cues and your own intuition are just as valid as any chart. 'Encourage self play… Now our youngest plays with her dolls by herself for ages.' — u/FredmarklarRelated: 5 ways to support your toddler's independent playTip: Start small with independent play. Set up a cozy space nearby, and stay connected by commenting gently on what they're doing—no need to hover. 'Instead of 'be careful,' I say 'do what feels safe.'' — u/Fragrant_Summer_7223Related: 12 powerful parenting phrases that make talking to kids easierTip:Try phrases like 'show me how you're doing that safely' or 'listen to your body.' You're still keeping them safe—while helping build their self-trust. 'I excused their behavior a lot with my first… I've realized I'd rather he have fewer healthy people in his life than a bunch of toxic ones.' — u/Aggressive_Plant7983Related: Dad's viral Reddit post reveals why setting boundaries to protect kids—even from toxic family dynamics—is so hardTip: Boundaries don't have to be confrontational. Try, 'We're doing things differently this time,' or 'This is what works best for our family right now.' 'I don't think I'll have another but if I did I would stop stressing about milestones.' — u/FattyMcButterpants__Related: 5 ways to help your baby reach developmental milestones, according to a physical therapistTip: Milestone charts can be helpful—but they're not the whole picture. Trust your pediatrician and your gut if something feels off. Otherwise? Your pace is just fine. 'Didn't stick to a nap schedule. Almost eight years in, my firstborn is still a terrible sleeper.' — u/feedyrsoulRelated: Parents swear by this surprising sleep trick for babies—but does it actually work?Tip: Focus on consistency over rigidity. A calming bedtime routine and age-appropriate wake windows go a long way. 'I refused to give my first store bought food like fruit puree… With my second I'm like here you go strawberry and tomato smoothie.' — u/MyLifeForAiurDTRelated:3 baby food hacks recommended by a registered dietitianTip: Many store-bought options are just as nutritious. Choose what works best for your time, budget, and energy. 'I'm pretty laid back about a lot of things but I would have never introduced video games or YouTube to my kids if I could get a re-do.' — u/Valuable-Life3297Related: Study shows parents need to 'practice what they preach' when it comes to kids' screen timeTip: Use screen time intentionally. Co-view content when possible and keep open conversations going about what your child sees and feels. 'The baby book past the first six months.' — u/Ralph–HinkleyRelated: The invisible labor of motherhood is real—and it's exhaustingTip: Let go of the pressure to document every moment. Your love doesn't live in a baby book—it lives in your presence. There are so many things I wish I could go back and tell the version of me who became a mother for the first time. But I've also come to believe she did the best she could with what she knew. And with each baby, we evolve. Not just in how we parent, but in how we see ourselves. If you're parenting your second, or your fifth, and doing things differently this time—know that you're not failing. You're growing. And your kids are lucky to have a parent who is willing to do that. What's one thing you're doing differently this time around—and why does it feel right for your family now?
Yahoo
03-04-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
Why it's time to let new moms vote by proxy
Let's be real: We love to say we're living in the modern age, but when it comes to how we treat new mothers in Congress, we're stuck in the 1950s. Case in point? Representative Brittany Pettersen brought her four-week-old newborn across the country because—despite just having given birth—she had to be physically present in Washington, D.C. to cast a vote. And all of this? Totally preventable. Welcome to the urgent case for proxy voting for parents in Congress. And this week, House Republicans are fighting against two new mom congresswomen—one Democrat, one Republican's efforts to allow new parents the right to vote by proxy while recovering from birth. Rep. Brittany Pettersen, a Colorado mom of two (including that brand-new baby), has lived the challenge of legislating with a newborn firsthand—and she's had it. 'There are medical reasons when you're pregnant and close to your term and you can't fly for votes and up through giving birth and recovering and taking care of your newborn and 24/7 care,' she told Motherly in an interview this week. 'We are perfectly capable of modernizing the way that we do things to account for situations like this. It's unacceptable that we are so far behind the times.' Unacceptable is an understatement. When Pettersen flew with her newborn son Sam for that vote, she did it not because she wanted to—but because there was no alternative. 'I was devastated with the choice in front of me,' she said. 'There was no way that I was not going to be here, but I was devastated… I could not leave my newborn baby for days.' Related: Why pregnant lawmakers deserve remote voting This, in a job that already requires being in two places at once—home with your kids and at the Capitol with your colleagues. Proxy voting is a practical solution to an outdated problem. It simply allows a representative to cast their vote without being physically present. Revolutionary? Hardly. Common sense? Completely. Vote Mama founder Liuba Grechen Shirley put it plainly: 'Our political system was designed by older, wealthy, white, land-owning men at a time when women couldn't even vote. For moms, it's even harder—votes are called at unpredictable times… No proxy voting means flying across the country right after giving birth to cast a vote.' She's not being hyperbolic. That's the literal truth of how our democracy works—or doesn't—for moms. To date, only 13 voting women in the entire history of Congress have given birth while serving. Pettersen is the thirteenth. Since America's founding, hundreds of millions of women have given birth. Yet only 13 have been serving in Congress while doing it. Why? Because the system was made to keep mothers out. Representative Anna Paulina Luna (R-Fla) was the twelfth. Now, she and Pettersen are working together across the aisle to fix it. 'This is reflective of when we actually get to know each other… when we see each other as other human beings,' Pettersen said. 'When we come together on issues… it's about being moms and going through the rare experience of being pregnant and giving birth while in Congress.' They know that proxy voting is just the beginning. So what happens when more moms do make it to Congress? 'We can completely reshape the policies and priorities of the United States and actually meet the needs of families,' says Pettersen. Liuba Grechen Shirley agrees: 'Legislators legislate based on their lived experience. When moms lead, they prioritize investments in families, education, and the economy in ways that actually work for people.' But without structural reforms, most moms won't make it to the floor—literally. Grechen Shirley outlines a few of the policies that would change that: Paid leave for legislators (yes, even Congress doesn't have this!) On-site childcare and childcare reimbursements Changing tables and pumping rooms in government buildings Campaign funds for childcare And, of course, proxy voting 'These aren't radical ideas—they're significant, barrier-breaking reforms,' she says. 'There are more millionaires in Congress than moms.' Let that one sink in. The usual suspects defending the status quo. 'We're hearing arguments about unconstitutionality. We're hearing arguments like 'show up for work or don't run for Congress,'' Pettersen said. 'It's the same stuff we've heard as women for our existence… I can't believe how many people say that women shouldn't be in Congress.' That's not just sexism—it's sabotage. Because when mothers are excluded from leadership, so are their priorities. The pandemic proved we can rethink work. It showed us that flexibility isn't a luxury—it's a lifeline. And yet here we are, still forcing women to choose between healing from childbirth and casting a vote that could impact millions of lives. Pettersen's advice? 'Reach out to your members of Congress and ask them to support our resolution… Support other women who are running for office. Encourage other moms to step up and run. This is how we're going to change things.' It's time to let moms vote—from wherever they need to be. Related: Congress introduces massive bill to improve mothers' health: 'This crisis demands urgent attention'
Yahoo
06-03-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Dad breaks down in tears—the transition to 2 kids is harder than he ever expected
Transitioning from one to two kids can be beautiful, but it's also brutally hard for many parents. One dad's raw, emotional video about the struggle of juggling a newborn and a heartbroken toddler has struck a nerve, racking up 3.4 million views on Instagram and several comments from parents who deeply relate. In the video, creator Eric Jensen, visibly exhausted and holding back tears, opens up about the emotional toll of trying to be present for his preschool-aged son and his newborn baby. 'I'm not really sure how people go about handling the transition from one to two kids. It's really hard in so many different ways,' he says. His biggest heartbreak? Seeing his firstborn struggle. 'I can really tell that my son is having a hard time. His whole life has changed. This morning, I was like, 'Hey, let's go on a walk, and we'll bring the baby with us.' Super fun, like, we can just do a little brother walk, right? And he's like, 'No, please. Just us. You're my best friend. Please. Just hang out with me, please.'' If that doesn't gut-punch every parent who has ever worried about their firstborn feeling left out, nothing will. For many parents, the shift from one to two kids is one of the most challenging transitions in family life. You love your newborn desperately, but you also mourn the undivided attention you used to give your first child. The guilt cuts deep. 'Every time we leave our little baby, I die a little bit inside,' the dad confesses. 'It's just so hard for me to miss out on those little moments.' Commenters flooded the post with support, sharing their own experiences. @kiergaines admitted: 'The jump from 1 to 2 is insane. 3 years later and we're still constantly adjusting. It gets more manageable with time, idk if it ever becomes easy.' @matthewcookeofficial offered encouragement: ' Sounds like you're doing great. The children are fortunate to have such a loving father. ' Related: Dad learns he's having twins—his reaction is an emotional rollercoaster At Motherly, we've heard from countless parents who describe the first few months after baby #2 as an emotional whirlwind. In an article on adjusting to life with two kids, one mom summed it up: 'I was so worried then about the unknown and making my daughter 'share' my husband and me and the life we'd all built together, but we didn't know what we didn't know, and that's that I had nothing to worry about.' Experts suggest that including your older child in baby care—giving them little 'helper' jobs, setting aside one-on-one time, and reassuring them that their place in the family hasn't changed—can ease the transition. One viral comment even suggested sending a 'gift' from the baby to their big sibling, with a note saying, 'Dear Big Brother, thank you for sharing Mommy and Daddy with me. I can't wait to grow up and play with you!' Related: Daughter shares her exam results—her dad's reaction brings the internet to tears As exhausting and emotionally draining as this stage is, one thing is clear: it gets better. So if you're in the thick of it, overwhelmed and wondering how anyone manages two kids—know that you are not failing. You are growing. Your heart is stretching in ways you never thought possible. And someday, your kids will look back and see nothing but love. For more support on parenting transitions, read this Motherly guide on making space for your firstborn after baby #2.
Yahoo
05-03-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
‘Mean girl' mom demands teen return prom dress—what happens next has the internet stunned
A high school prom dress should symbolize joy, confidence, and self-expression—but for one Illinois teen, it turned into a nightmare of bullying and harassment. In a now-viral TikTok, Kathy Labedzki-Pierga, owner of Kasia's Bridal and Special Occasion boutique, shared an alarming story about a girl who faced relentless bullying simply for purchasing a purple sparkly gown. The video has now amassed 7.6 million views. Labedzki-Pierga revealed that after the teen posted a picture of her newly bought dress on a school Facebook page dedicated to preventing duplicate prom looks, another student—who had admired but never purchased the same gown—became outraged. But it wasn't just high school drama; the other girl's mother escalated the situation by repeatedly calling the boutique, demanding the dress be returned, and even threatening to involve her husband. 'You need to take that dress back from that girl because my daughter wanted that dress,' the mother insisted. When Labedzki-Pierga refused, the situation spiraled. The girl who had purchased the dress became a target for bullying, with reports that her car and house had been egged. 'I'm afraid for this girl's life at this point because I heard that they already managed to egg her car and her house,' Labedzki-Pierga said in her video. 'You guys, get real. It's not that serious.' While the incident sparked outrage and an outpouring of support for the bullied teen, it also raised an important question: Why is the mean girl culture still thriving, and what can parents do to stop it? Related: Mom says her tween daughter is bullying other kids over their clothes—so she's asking for advice The viral prom dress controversy highlights the urgent need to raise girls who lift each other up rather than tear each other down. As Labedzki-Pierga put it, 'If adults are bullying adults, then why are we surprised that this is happening in high school?' At Motherly, we believe in fostering kindness and inclusivity among girls, and research shows that parents play a key role in this. In the article 'Raising Girls Who Are Includers Instead of Mean Girls,' Motherly provides practical strategies for nurturing empathy and kindness in children. Here are a few takeaways: Model Inclusivity: Children absorb behaviors from the adults in their lives. If parents gossip, exclude, or react with hostility, their children are likely to mirror those actions. Instead, demonstrate kindness by embracing diversity in your own friendships and social circles. Encourage Empathy: Help your child step into someone else's shoes by asking questions like, How do you think she felt when that happened? This fosters emotional intelligence and helps kids recognize the impact of their actions. Praise Kindness, Not Just Achievement: Shift the focus from external success (like being the best athlete or the most popular student) to internal values like being a good friend and standing up for others. Teach Assertiveness, Not Aggression: There's a difference between standing up for oneself and putting others down. Encourage your child to communicate their feelings and needs while respecting others. Help Them Recognize Toxic Behavior: Sometimes, girls go along with mean behavior out of fear of becoming the next target. Teach them to identify exclusionary actions and have the courage to say, That's not okay. Create a Culture of Inclusion: Encourage playdates, group activities, and events that bring together different social groups. When children learn to mix with diverse peers early, they are more likely to value inclusivity later. As parents, teachers, and role models, we have the power to shape the next generation of girls into confident, supportive leaders. The viral prom dress incident is a heartbreaking reminder of why we must actively fight against mean girl culture. It starts at home, with the values we instill in our children every day. Related: Why this dad refused to punish his son for bullying—and what he did instead Let's raise girls who know that confidence isn't about putting others down—it's about lifting everyone up.
Yahoo
25-02-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Measles outbreak: What parents need to know and how to protect their kids
If you're a mom, the last thing you want to hear is that a highly contagious disease is making a comeback. But measles cases are rising in several states (including Texas, New Mexico and New Jersey), and public health officials are urging parents to take precautions—especially for babies too young to be vaccinated. It's completely normal to feel worried, but understanding the facts can help you make the safest choices for your family. To better understand the current outbreak and how parents can protect their children, Motherly spoke with Dr. Kristina Bryant, a pediatric infectious disease expert and member of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Committee on Infectious Diseases. Measles is a highly contagious viral disease caused by the rubeola virus. It spreads easily through the air and infects the respiratory system before spreading to other parts of the body. Before the vaccine, millions of children contracted measles every year. While measles was declared eliminated in the U.S. in 2000, recent outbreaks show how quickly it can return without widespread immunization. Related: Born before 1989? You might need another measles vaccination The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has reported a growing number of measles cases across the U.S., with outbreaks linked to international travel and declining vaccination rates. 'When measles immunization rates fall, the measles virus can begin to circulate, and outbreaks occur,' says Dr. Bryant. 'According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, three outbreaks of measles have occurred in the United States so far in 2025. Almost all of the cases are in individuals who were not vaccinated against measles or whose vaccination status is unknown.' Because measles spreads through the air (think coughs, sneezes, and even just breathing in the same room as an infected person), it's one of the most contagious viruses out there. You can catch it up to two hours after an infected person has left a space. Babies under 12 months aren't yet eligible for their first measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) shot, making them more vulnerable if exposed. While most children recover without complications, measles can sometimes lead to more serious health concerns, including pneumonia, brain swelling (encephalitis), and, in rare cases, life-threatening complications, according to the CDC. Measles is one of the most contagious viruses in the world. If one person has it, 90% of unvaccinated people nearby will catch it. It's airborne: The virus can linger in the air for up to two hours after an infected person has left. It spreads before symptoms appear: A person with measles is contagious four days before the rash appears and up to four days after. 'Early symptoms of measles include fever, cough, runny nose, and conjunctivitis or 'pink eye,'' says Dr. Bryant. 'Most patients with measles ultimately develop a red rash that starts on the head and spreads down the body.' Measles symptoms typically appear 7 to 14 days after exposure. 'Increasing vaccine hesitancy, fueled by debates over the COVID-19 vaccine, may be playing a role,' Dr. Bryant adds. 'Some parents may not have reliable information about vaccines and may be reluctant to vaccinate because of misinformation. Importantly, parents need to know that vaccines do not cause autism.' If you've ever felt overwhelmed by conflicting vaccine information, you're not alone. It's completely understandable to have questions. But what we do know—after decades of research—is that the MMR vaccine is safe, effective, and has protected millions of children worldwide. The numbers tell the story: Nearly 40 million children worldwide missed a measles vaccine dose in 2023, according to the World Health Organization. U.S. childhood vaccination rates fell to 93% in the 2021-2022 school year, below the 95% needed for herd immunity, per the CDC. 1 in 5 people who get measles end up hospitalized, and 1-3 out of every 1,000 infected children will die from complications, per the CDC. Measles isn't just a rash—it's a serious illness that can lead to lifelong health problems. The MMR vaccine, on the other hand, has been safely protecting children for over 50 years and is over 97% effective after two doses. Measles follows a three-stage progression: Incubation (7-14 days): No symptoms, but the virus is multiplying. Prodromal phase (2-4 days): Fever, cough, runny nose, and red eyes develop. Rash phase (3-5 days): The rash appears and spreads across the body. A person with measles is contagious from four days before the rash appears to four days after it fades. There is no specific antiviral treatment for measles, so care focuses on relieving symptoms: Fever reduction: Acetaminophen or ibuprofen can help. Hydration: Encourage fluids to prevent dehydration. Rest: Let your child's immune system fight the virus. Vitamin A supplementation: The World Health Organization recommends two doses of Vitamin A (given 24 hours apart) for children with measles to reduce complications. Check Your Own Vaccine Status. If you were born after 1957 and had the two-dose MMR vaccine as a kid, you're likely protected. If you're unsure, ask your doctor for a simple immunity blood test. Ask About Early Vaccination. The first MMR dose is usually given at 12-15 months, but if you're traveling internationally or live in a high-risk area, your pediatrician might recommend an early dose as young as 6 months, per the AAP's guidelines. Avoid High-Risk Settings. If measles is spreading in your area, consider skipping crowded indoor spaces, especially places where kids gather (like playgroups or daycare) until your child is vaccinated. Watch for Symptoms. 'Measles virus spreads through the air and is very contagious. If you think that you or your child could have measles, let your doctor know when making the appointment so that special precautions can be taken to avoid exposing other people,' Dr. Bryant advises. Related: Measles outbreak: 6 things every parent must know & do 'For people who live in communities where measles is circulating, it is not too late to be immunized against measles,' Dr. Bryant says. 'I would encourage parents who are unsure if their child has received all recommended measles vaccines to contact their pediatrician or primary care provider.' Parenting comes with a million decisions, and vaccines are one of the biggest ones we make for our kids. If you've ever had questions or concerns, you're not alone. But what we do know—after decades of research and real-world experience—is that . While measles outbreaks are frustrating, the good news is that we have a way to prevent them. By staying informed, checking your family's vaccine records, and following expert guidance, you're taking the best steps to protect your little one. Measles Vaccine. American Academy of Pediatrics. Measles Vaccine. Measles, Mumps, and Rubella (MMR) Vaccination. CDC. Measles, Mumps, and Rubella (MMR) Vaccination: What Everyone Should Know. Clinical Overview of Measles. CDC. Clinical Overview of Measles. Measles (Rubeola). CDC. Measles (Rubeola). Protecting Your Baby From a Measles Outbreak: FAQs. American Academy of Pediatrics. Protecting Your Baby From a Measles Outbreak: FAQs. Measles Cases and Outbreaks. CDC. Measles Cases and Outbreaks.
