Latest news with #Motherly
IOL News
08-08-2025
- Business
- IOL News
Motherhood meets leadership: unleashing the power of working moms this Women's Month
Working mothers represent a new breed of leaders Image: RDNE Stock project/pexels When we think of powerhouses in the workplace, we often picture polished suits, firm handshakes, and relentless schedules. But what if the most impactful leaders are also the ones juggling nappies, meal prep, homework, and spreadsheets all before 8am? This Women's Month, we're shifting the spotlight to a group that often leads quietly but effectively: working mothers. 'Working mothers represent a new breed of leaders,' says Anja van Beek, leadership and talent strategist. 'The women juggling diapers and deadlines, schoolwork and strategy, have a secret weapon, a unique blend of skills that's often overlooked in the boardroom.' But these women, who are the backbone of many households and businesses, continue to face invisible penalties for simply being mothers. The motherhood penalty is real and costly The 2025 State of Motherhood Survey by Motherly paints a stark picture: 66% of mothers have considered leaving the workforce or reducing hours due to the cost and stress of childcare. Even more sobering, the 2024 Bankrate Study reveals that full-time working mothers earn 35% less than fathers, amounting to a potential lifetime income loss of $600,000 (around R10.6 million). Here in South Africa, while the data mirrors global trends, there's an added layer of pressure due to economic inequality, lack of affordable childcare, and outdated workplace expectations. But it's not just financial; emotional strain is high, too. According to Gallup's Wellbeing Data, 50% of working mothers report severe mental fatigue and burnout, compared to 40% of men. 'Success looks different now' Van Beek, who has worked with female leaders for over eight years, tells "Independent Media Lifestyle", 'The motherhood penalty is still largely invisible, but it's there. From stalled careers after maternity leave to the assumption that ambition dims with motherhood, many women are unfairly measured by old standards.' She opens up about how her own definition of success has evolved: 'Success for me used to be about ticking every box, being everywhere, doing everything. Now it's about intentionality. It's about knowing what matters, saying no when needed, and understanding that boundaries don't make you less ambitious, they make you more focused.' Transferable skills: Van Beek believes the corporate world is missing out by overlooking the transferable skills women develop through motherhood: Time optimisation Conflict resolution Emotional intelligence Resilience Prioritisation under pressure 'These aren't just 'soft skills,'' she says. 'They're essential leadership tools. A mom who navigates a tantrum, packs lunch, and joins a budget meeting often all before noon isn't unfocused. She's laser-focused.' And yet, career gaps for caregiving are still seen as setbacks rather than growth opportunities. Ever heard of the "second shift"? That's the term used to describe the unpaid labour women do after work, cooking, cleaning, school runs, and providing emotional support. Image: The invisible load: A second shift Ever heard of the "second shift"? That's the term used to describe the unpaid labour women do after work, cooking, cleaning, school runs, and providing emotional support. Van Beek explains: 'I had a colleague who would wake up early to cook dinner before going to the office. For her, making sure the family had a meal ready when she got home was non-negotiable. That's a workday before the workday. And it's hardly recognised.' This invisible load contributes significantly to burnout and inequality in career progression. And while younger generations are increasingly willing to share responsibilities at home, traditional gender roles remain stubbornly persistent in many households. Rethinking leadership Women are often judged by different standards in the workplace. Van Beek notes that traditional leadership models, which are always available, desk-bound, and directive, tend to favour masculine traits. 'But there's a shift happening,' she says. 'The most successful teams are those that create psychological safety. That means team members feel seen, heard, and respected. And who better to foster that environment than mothers who do it daily for their families?' Feminine leadership traits like collaboration, empathy, and inclusivity are not only powerful, they're necessary for modern work cultures. Are companies ready for real inclusion? Some companies are making progress, especially in a post-Covid world that embraces flexibility and remote work. But Van Beek is quick to point out that not all workplaces are moving at the same pace. 'There's still a long way to go when it comes to fast-tracking women into leadership roles or recognising the value of diverse leadership styles. Coaching, mentorship, and structural support are still missing in too many places.' She recalls a recent workshop with 30 women in a male-dominated industry. 'The moment they felt heard, supported, and safe to speak up, they started thriving. That's the magic of women supporting women.' Don't underestimate the power of working moms. They've already proven they can do the impossible. Imagine what they could do with real support. Image: Rebrand Cities/pexels You can have it all, but define what 'All' means Perhaps one of Van Beek's most powerful takeaways is this: 'Yes, you can have it all. But 'all' must be defined by you. It may not be the luxury car or the corner office, it might be a flexible schedule, a slower pace, or time with your kids.' And every 'yes' requires a 'no'. Choosing reduced hours might mean postponing that overseas holiday, but it could also mean preserving your sanity and your sense of self. Working mothers are not just coping, they're leading with strength, creativity, and compassion. It's time for society and workplaces to catch up. 'Don't underestimate the power of working moms. They've already proven they can do the impossible. Imagine what they could do with real support.'
IOL News
08-08-2025
- Business
- IOL News
Why working moms are the secret weapon of the modern workforce
Working mothers represent a new breed of leaders, says the author. Image: Supplied 'Being a mom has made me a better businesswoman, and let's face it, when you have little kids you stop stressing the little things, because you simply don't have time to. I have always felt being a woman in business was an advantage, not a disadvantage, and being a mom even more so.' I read this in Harvard Business Review, and I couldn't agree more, especially when it comes to leadership. Working mothers represent a new breed of leaders. Yes, you read it correctly. The women juggling diapers, deadlines, schoolwork and dinner duties have a secret weapon: a unique mix of talents that make them untapped powerhouses in the boardroom. Today's rapidly evolving work requires a new era of thinking. We often underestimate how real-life experience can be applied in the working world. Transferable skills can be carried over from one role or experience to many other work-related scenarios. As a working mom myself and having led many successful and multi-national teams, I have witnessed the direct impact a working mom has on a business. The productivity she drives and the different perspectives she brings to the boardroom table. Having had a look at the statistics, I am a bit worried. According to the 2025 State of Motherhood survey by Motherly, a staggering 66% of mothers said that the cost and stress of childcare led them to consider leaving the workforce or reducing their hours. Younger moms, especially Gen Z, report even deeper challenges, including limited access to flexible schedules and paid leave, with Gen Z mothers 2.5× less likely to have position flexibility than Millennials and half as likely to receive paid maternity leave. Meanwhile, a 2024 Bankrate study shows the motherhood wage penalty is still widening. In 2024, full-time working mothers earned 35% less than fathers, which could translate into a lifetime loss of up to $600 000 over 30 years. I am sure the South African statistics would be a similar picture. Furthermore, Gallup's recent wellbeing data further confirms that working women, especially mothers, experience higher levels of stress and burnout compared to men. About 50% of working mothers report feeling the mental load intensely, versus 40% of men, reflecting the dual pressures of work and home life. These figures reinforce that supporting mothers requires more than acknowledgement. Of course, realising the potential of working mothers entails more than simply appreciating their abilities. Companies must step up with helpful policies such as affordable childcare, flexible work schedules, and family leave alternatives. So, why are working moms the leaders most businesses have been overlooking? Here's a few real-life examples of transferable skills: Empathetic navigators: Balancing family and professional responsibilities take skills, and empathy is one of them. Working mothers comprehend the complexities of different lives, need to negotiate multiple points of view, and bridge gaps between competing agendas. This qualifies them as master communicators and conflict resolution specialists, both of whom are highly skilled in developing cohesive, high-performing teams. Innovative problem solvers: Working mothers become innovative problem solvers when faced with daily challenges of managing a household. They hack their way through creating low-cost meals for picky eaters, making the budget work in increasing living costs and solving short notices schedule daycare and extramural activity changes. This resourcefulness and daptability lead to innovative thinking and solutions to challenging business challenges. Master of several schedules: Do you find yourself juggling laundry, conference calls, and budget presentations? Working mothers are Olympic-level time management experts. They prioritise quickly, delegate with laser intensity, and achieve more productivity in a short period than most people do in an hour. Developing resilient teams: Raising children teaches valuable resilience and mind-managing skills. Working mothers learn to recover from setbacks, adjust to new circumstances, and persevere even when the going gets rough. Optimism, humour, and emotional maturity are contagious, resulting in teams that learn from their errors, flourish under pressure, and adopt a growth mindset to never give up. One of my clients, a super ambitious and career-driven person, expressed she was worried about how she would 'cope' with being a mother and achieve her goals when she was pregnant. Fast forward to two years later, she told me that becoming a mother, made her better at what she was doing in her role – gave her different perspectives and that 'urgent' had a new meaning… especially when compared to a baby who needs a bottle… right now. Blending Work and Life: Real people with real-life experiences are what the working world requires. Working mothers recognise the value of balancing job and family life. They embrace flexible hours, support family-friendly policies, and set a good example by prioritising wellbeing. This fosters a work environment where social safety is evident; employees feel valued and supported, and with that sense of belonging they understand their contribution to the team is meaningful, resulting in higher employee engagement and retention. If leaders expect performance, they need to be vigilant in creating an environment where people can perform. Businesses benefit from investing in the wellbeing of working mothers because it leads to a happier, more productive, and innovative teams. So, the next time you're looking for a leader, go beyond the obvious candidates. They're also found in real-life experiences of playrooms, kitchens, and school drop-off areas. And it is the mothers who face those challenges day after day who deserve to be considered. You may be surprised to discover the value of skills coming from life experiences and community roles, you may not have expected. Anja van Beek, Talent Strategist, Leadership & HR Expert and Executive Coach. Image: Supplied
Yahoo
28-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
'I did this with my first baby—but never again': 10 real lessons from second-time parents
When I had my firstborn, my entire world shifted on its axis. I was consumed by the weight of doing everything 'right.' I wouldn't let anyone help. Not really. If a family member offered to rock him to sleep or feed him a bottle so I could rest, I smiled politely and declined. I felt a deep, unspoken pressure to be everything for him, every minute of the day. And yet, because of financial constraints, I had to return to work just eight weeks postpartum. I was physically and emotionally depleted, and still, I couldn't let go. Before I had my second child, I swore it would be different. I promised myself I would accept help, ask for it even. I wouldn't measure my worth by how much I could carry alone. Ironically, my second was born early, during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Support was scarce. And yet, despite the isolation, I learned to extend myself more grace. I stopped trying to do it all perfectly. I learned, like so many second-time parents do, that growth often comes through grief—letting go of what we thought parenting had to look like. A recent viral thread on Reddit asked parents to share what they did with their first kid that they would never do with their second. The answers struck a chord—and reminded me how deeply we evolve with each child. Here are some of the most powerful lessons, paired with expert-backed resources and tips from Motherly to help you navigate these second-time revelations with compassion. 'I struggled so much breastfeeding them both but with my second I gave myself a lot more grace.' — u/YorkshireDuck91Related: Breastfeeding is a full-time job—and this viral TikTok gets itTip: If you're feeling stuck, talking to a lactation consultant early on can help—but having formula options on hand doesn't mean you're giving up. Combo feeding isn't failure; it's flexibility. 'I tracked feedings and naps, then overanalyzed and compared my days… Now I just follow cues and go with the flow.' — u/ericandidRelated: Viral video shows why 'sleep when the baby sleeps' is a hilarious mythTip: It's okay to use tracking tools—but only if they serve you. Your baby's cues and your own intuition are just as valid as any chart. 'Encourage self play… Now our youngest plays with her dolls by herself for ages.' — u/FredmarklarRelated: 5 ways to support your toddler's independent playTip: Start small with independent play. Set up a cozy space nearby, and stay connected by commenting gently on what they're doing—no need to hover. 'Instead of 'be careful,' I say 'do what feels safe.'' — u/Fragrant_Summer_7223Related: 12 powerful parenting phrases that make talking to kids easierTip:Try phrases like 'show me how you're doing that safely' or 'listen to your body.' You're still keeping them safe—while helping build their self-trust. 'I excused their behavior a lot with my first… I've realized I'd rather he have fewer healthy people in his life than a bunch of toxic ones.' — u/Aggressive_Plant7983Related: Dad's viral Reddit post reveals why setting boundaries to protect kids—even from toxic family dynamics—is so hardTip: Boundaries don't have to be confrontational. Try, 'We're doing things differently this time,' or 'This is what works best for our family right now.' 'I don't think I'll have another but if I did I would stop stressing about milestones.' — u/FattyMcButterpants__Related: 5 ways to help your baby reach developmental milestones, according to a physical therapistTip: Milestone charts can be helpful—but they're not the whole picture. Trust your pediatrician and your gut if something feels off. Otherwise? Your pace is just fine. 'Didn't stick to a nap schedule. Almost eight years in, my firstborn is still a terrible sleeper.' — u/feedyrsoulRelated: Parents swear by this surprising sleep trick for babies—but does it actually work?Tip: Focus on consistency over rigidity. A calming bedtime routine and age-appropriate wake windows go a long way. 'I refused to give my first store bought food like fruit puree… With my second I'm like here you go strawberry and tomato smoothie.' — u/MyLifeForAiurDTRelated:3 baby food hacks recommended by a registered dietitianTip: Many store-bought options are just as nutritious. Choose what works best for your time, budget, and energy. 'I'm pretty laid back about a lot of things but I would have never introduced video games or YouTube to my kids if I could get a re-do.' — u/Valuable-Life3297Related: Study shows parents need to 'practice what they preach' when it comes to kids' screen timeTip: Use screen time intentionally. Co-view content when possible and keep open conversations going about what your child sees and feels. 'The baby book past the first six months.' — u/Ralph–HinkleyRelated: The invisible labor of motherhood is real—and it's exhaustingTip: Let go of the pressure to document every moment. Your love doesn't live in a baby book—it lives in your presence. There are so many things I wish I could go back and tell the version of me who became a mother for the first time. But I've also come to believe she did the best she could with what she knew. And with each baby, we evolve. Not just in how we parent, but in how we see ourselves. If you're parenting your second, or your fifth, and doing things differently this time—know that you're not failing. You're growing. And your kids are lucky to have a parent who is willing to do that. What's one thing you're doing differently this time around—and why does it feel right for your family now?
Yahoo
03-04-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
Why it's time to let new moms vote by proxy
Let's be real: We love to say we're living in the modern age, but when it comes to how we treat new mothers in Congress, we're stuck in the 1950s. Case in point? Representative Brittany Pettersen brought her four-week-old newborn across the country because—despite just having given birth—she had to be physically present in Washington, D.C. to cast a vote. And all of this? Totally preventable. Welcome to the urgent case for proxy voting for parents in Congress. And this week, House Republicans are fighting against two new mom congresswomen—one Democrat, one Republican's efforts to allow new parents the right to vote by proxy while recovering from birth. Rep. Brittany Pettersen, a Colorado mom of two (including that brand-new baby), has lived the challenge of legislating with a newborn firsthand—and she's had it. 'There are medical reasons when you're pregnant and close to your term and you can't fly for votes and up through giving birth and recovering and taking care of your newborn and 24/7 care,' she told Motherly in an interview this week. 'We are perfectly capable of modernizing the way that we do things to account for situations like this. It's unacceptable that we are so far behind the times.' Unacceptable is an understatement. When Pettersen flew with her newborn son Sam for that vote, she did it not because she wanted to—but because there was no alternative. 'I was devastated with the choice in front of me,' she said. 'There was no way that I was not going to be here, but I was devastated… I could not leave my newborn baby for days.' Related: Why pregnant lawmakers deserve remote voting This, in a job that already requires being in two places at once—home with your kids and at the Capitol with your colleagues. Proxy voting is a practical solution to an outdated problem. It simply allows a representative to cast their vote without being physically present. Revolutionary? Hardly. Common sense? Completely. Vote Mama founder Liuba Grechen Shirley put it plainly: 'Our political system was designed by older, wealthy, white, land-owning men at a time when women couldn't even vote. For moms, it's even harder—votes are called at unpredictable times… No proxy voting means flying across the country right after giving birth to cast a vote.' She's not being hyperbolic. That's the literal truth of how our democracy works—or doesn't—for moms. To date, only 13 voting women in the entire history of Congress have given birth while serving. Pettersen is the thirteenth. Since America's founding, hundreds of millions of women have given birth. Yet only 13 have been serving in Congress while doing it. Why? Because the system was made to keep mothers out. Representative Anna Paulina Luna (R-Fla) was the twelfth. Now, she and Pettersen are working together across the aisle to fix it. 'This is reflective of when we actually get to know each other… when we see each other as other human beings,' Pettersen said. 'When we come together on issues… it's about being moms and going through the rare experience of being pregnant and giving birth while in Congress.' They know that proxy voting is just the beginning. So what happens when more moms do make it to Congress? 'We can completely reshape the policies and priorities of the United States and actually meet the needs of families,' says Pettersen. Liuba Grechen Shirley agrees: 'Legislators legislate based on their lived experience. When moms lead, they prioritize investments in families, education, and the economy in ways that actually work for people.' But without structural reforms, most moms won't make it to the floor—literally. Grechen Shirley outlines a few of the policies that would change that: Paid leave for legislators (yes, even Congress doesn't have this!) On-site childcare and childcare reimbursements Changing tables and pumping rooms in government buildings Campaign funds for childcare And, of course, proxy voting 'These aren't radical ideas—they're significant, barrier-breaking reforms,' she says. 'There are more millionaires in Congress than moms.' Let that one sink in. The usual suspects defending the status quo. 'We're hearing arguments about unconstitutionality. We're hearing arguments like 'show up for work or don't run for Congress,'' Pettersen said. 'It's the same stuff we've heard as women for our existence… I can't believe how many people say that women shouldn't be in Congress.' That's not just sexism—it's sabotage. Because when mothers are excluded from leadership, so are their priorities. The pandemic proved we can rethink work. It showed us that flexibility isn't a luxury—it's a lifeline. And yet here we are, still forcing women to choose between healing from childbirth and casting a vote that could impact millions of lives. Pettersen's advice? 'Reach out to your members of Congress and ask them to support our resolution… Support other women who are running for office. Encourage other moms to step up and run. This is how we're going to change things.' It's time to let moms vote—from wherever they need to be. Related: Congress introduces massive bill to improve mothers' health: 'This crisis demands urgent attention'
Yahoo
06-03-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Dad breaks down in tears—the transition to 2 kids is harder than he ever expected
Transitioning from one to two kids can be beautiful, but it's also brutally hard for many parents. One dad's raw, emotional video about the struggle of juggling a newborn and a heartbroken toddler has struck a nerve, racking up 3.4 million views on Instagram and several comments from parents who deeply relate. In the video, creator Eric Jensen, visibly exhausted and holding back tears, opens up about the emotional toll of trying to be present for his preschool-aged son and his newborn baby. 'I'm not really sure how people go about handling the transition from one to two kids. It's really hard in so many different ways,' he says. His biggest heartbreak? Seeing his firstborn struggle. 'I can really tell that my son is having a hard time. His whole life has changed. This morning, I was like, 'Hey, let's go on a walk, and we'll bring the baby with us.' Super fun, like, we can just do a little brother walk, right? And he's like, 'No, please. Just us. You're my best friend. Please. Just hang out with me, please.'' If that doesn't gut-punch every parent who has ever worried about their firstborn feeling left out, nothing will. For many parents, the shift from one to two kids is one of the most challenging transitions in family life. You love your newborn desperately, but you also mourn the undivided attention you used to give your first child. The guilt cuts deep. 'Every time we leave our little baby, I die a little bit inside,' the dad confesses. 'It's just so hard for me to miss out on those little moments.' Commenters flooded the post with support, sharing their own experiences. @kiergaines admitted: 'The jump from 1 to 2 is insane. 3 years later and we're still constantly adjusting. It gets more manageable with time, idk if it ever becomes easy.' @matthewcookeofficial offered encouragement: ' Sounds like you're doing great. The children are fortunate to have such a loving father. ' Related: Dad learns he's having twins—his reaction is an emotional rollercoaster At Motherly, we've heard from countless parents who describe the first few months after baby #2 as an emotional whirlwind. In an article on adjusting to life with two kids, one mom summed it up: 'I was so worried then about the unknown and making my daughter 'share' my husband and me and the life we'd all built together, but we didn't know what we didn't know, and that's that I had nothing to worry about.' Experts suggest that including your older child in baby care—giving them little 'helper' jobs, setting aside one-on-one time, and reassuring them that their place in the family hasn't changed—can ease the transition. One viral comment even suggested sending a 'gift' from the baby to their big sibling, with a note saying, 'Dear Big Brother, thank you for sharing Mommy and Daddy with me. I can't wait to grow up and play with you!' Related: Daughter shares her exam results—her dad's reaction brings the internet to tears As exhausting and emotionally draining as this stage is, one thing is clear: it gets better. So if you're in the thick of it, overwhelmed and wondering how anyone manages two kids—know that you are not failing. You are growing. Your heart is stretching in ways you never thought possible. And someday, your kids will look back and see nothing but love. For more support on parenting transitions, read this Motherly guide on making space for your firstborn after baby #2.
