Latest news with #NatalieMoore
Arab News
23-05-2025
- Politics
- Arab News
Single UK Special Forces officer rejected 1,585 Afghan resettlement applications
LONDON: A court has been told a UK Special Forces officer personally rejected 1,585 applications from Afghans for resettlement in Britain. The applications were all from people with credible links to UKSF personnel, the Ministry of Defense told the court, amid an ongoing investigation into alleged war crimes by the Special Air Service in Afghanistan. The BBC revealed last week that the individual in question may have rejected applications from people with eye-witness testimony relating to the allegations. Numerous former Afghan special forces soldiers, known as Triples due to their regiment numbers, served alongside UK forces until the fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban in 2021. Thousands of them and their relatives have subsequently struggled to obtain permission to travel to the UK. The public inquiry into the conduct of UKSF soldiers in Afghanistan, meanwhile, lacks the power to compel former Triples soldiers to testify unless they are in the UK. In October 2022 Natalie Moore, the head of the Ministry of Defense's Afghan resettlement team, voiced concern that UKSF involved in applications for resettlement were giving the 'appearance of an unpublished mass rejection policy.' In January last year, former Veterans Minister Johnny Mercer told senior government officials there was a 'significant conflict of interest that should be obvious to all' in the processing of resettlement applications by UKSF personnel. 'Decision-making power,' Mercer claimed, over 'potential witnesses to the inquiry,' was 'deeply inappropriate.' Mercer also noted that a number of former Triples soldiers had been killed by the Taliban after being left to wait in Afghanistan, including one whose application was rejected having 'previously confronted UKSF leadership about EJKs (extrajudicial killings) in Afghanistan.' The MoD initially denied UKSF personnel had a veto over the applications of former Triples soldiers, who having been armed, trained and funded by the UK, were deemed at risk of reprisals if left in Afghanistan after the withdrawal of coalition forces. However, more than 2,000 applications deemed credible by caseworkers have been rejected by the UKSF. The MoD subsequently announced a review of the applications over fears the process was not 'robust.' An additional 2,500 rejected applications were placed under review this week by the government. So far, more than 600 of the 1,585 rejections attributed to the single UKSF officer have been overturned. The revelations about the UKSF member who rejected the 1,585 applications were made at a judicial review hearing brought by former Triples soldiers over the conflict of interest in resettlement decision-making, which also heard the MoD had launched two investigations into UKSF practices. One investigation, known as Operation X, said that it 'did not obtain any evidence of hidden motives on the part of the UKSF liaison officer.' It added it found 'no evidence of automatic/instant/mass rejections,' but failed to provide evidence in its conclusion, instead suggesting the decisions were made as a result of 'slack and unprofessional verification processes' by the UKSF officer and 'lax procedures followed by the officer in not following up on all lines of enquiry before issuing rejections.' Tom de la Mare KC, representing the Afghan Triple soldier who brought the case, accused the MoD of failing to disclose evidence of blanket application rejections, and of 'providing misleading responses to requests for information,' the BBC said. Cathryn McGahey KC, acting for the MoD, said 'there might have been a better way of doing (the applications process), but that doesn't make it unlawful.' Daniel Carey, partner at law firm DPG, acting for the former Triples soldier, told the BBC: 'My client spent years asking the MoD to rectify the blanket refusals of Triples personnel and has seen many killed and harmed by the Taliban in that time. 'He is pleased that the MoD have agreed to inform everyone of the decisions in their cases and to tell the persons affected whether their cases are under review or not, but it should not have required litigation to achieve basic fairness.'
Yahoo
23-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Therapists Say This Is The One Thing That Harms Eldest Daughters' Happiness The Most, And As An Eldest Daughter, I Can Confirm
Are you too responsible for your own good? Are you highly critical of any mistake you make? Are you a perfectionist? You must be an oldest daughter. All jokes aside, while there are certainly youngest children, middle children, and only children who also possess these characteristics, these traits are most closely associated with eldest daughters ― a concept known as eldest daughter syndrome. A recent study about the topic found that firstborn daughters actually mature faster than other children because of the stress their moms experienced while pregnant. That means there is truly something to the popular videos and memes about the struggles associated with being an eldest daughter, which include having to take care of grown-up tasks as a kid, being the one to organize family gatherings, and an inability to ask anyone for help. It'll come as no surprise to any eldest daughter that this isn't easy, and it's likely overwhelming to think about everything that you feel you need to get done. (Side note: You don't.) If you are looking to feel happier and more fulfilled, therapists say there is one thing that's standing in the way of your happiness: over-responsibility. According to Natalie Moore, a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, it's common for eldest daughters to 'feel overly responsible for their family of origin.' They may feel responsible for younger siblings and even their parents, she added. They may also feel like they need to carry 'the mental load,' or the invisible tasks required to keep a family afloat, such as getting birthday gifts for a nephew or making sure that your siblings wish your parents a happy anniversary. 'And then this can generalize to other relationships, feeling responsible in their own families in their homes and even feeling over-responsible at work,' stated Moore. 'They have to always be the one to make sure that everything gets done and that everybody's getting their work done on time.' When you're worried about all of the things you need to take care of, it can be hard to let loose and have fun. For many eldest daughters, the responsibility is so much that they fill a parental role. 'I think one of the things for eldest daughters is that they often carry part of the parental burden,' said Danica Harris, a somatic therapist and coach based in Texas. This further speaks to the heightened responsibility that many feel. 'Sometimes that's explicitly told to them, that they are responsible. But a lot of times it's this implicit thing that happens in the family system where they will be responsible for some of the family stuff,' Harris noted. This can especially be true when there are more than two kids in a family — the eldest daughter almost becomes a substitute parent, she said. 'If we're talking about a heterosexual dynamic, so whereas dads maybe historically haven't done as much caregiving or things like that around the house, it's almost like the oldest daughter will be put into that role,' stated Harris. 'And so what ends up happening is there's a coalition between mom and the oldest daughter, and it's almost like those two run the house, those two run the family.' And that pressure to be responsible causes them to feel like they can't make their parents worry. Related: 19 Wholesome Posts I Saw This Week That Were So Cute, They Legitimately Put Me In A Happier Mood '[The] oldest girl almost always hears, 'You're the one I never have to worry about,' and it's like they get put into that role where it's, 'Oh, I'm not allowed to cause my parents worry,'' Harris said. This creates a huge sense of perfectionism, she said. 'And it leads the eldest daughter [to be] trapped in this one role where it's very rigid — I have to be perfect [and] there's a ton of self-criticism if they do anything wrong,' Harris explained. 'And so because they've been parentified and adultified, then they have really high expectations.' Societal pressures don't help, either. Related: "The Damage Is Irreversible." Doctors And Nurses Are Revealing The "Small" Health Signs That People Should Never, Ever Ignore You're likely aware that societal expectations for girls and women differ from those for boys and men, which only further adds to the over-responsibility that many oldest daughters feel, Moore said. 'We tend to expect girls and women to be more emotionally attuned and take on more of a caregiver role,' she said. 'So eldest daughters have that double dose. Not only are they the oldest, and so they're the most mature, [but also] there's those expectations on them.' This all puts an unfair burden on eldest daughters, which can diminish their happiness. This can take away from the oldest daughter's happiness because she feels more responsible and more grown-up than she should as a child, according to Harris. 'When we put adult responsibilities on children, they're going to feel like they're failing because they literally aren't equipped to do the thing,' said Harris. 'And if we feel like we're failing as kids, we're going to keep trying harder and harder and harder.' And these tough feelings don't just stop once an eldest daughter reaches adulthood. 'What you have to remember is that because these family roles and expectations were ... developed at such a young age, we're often not conscious of them,' Moore explained. 'It's something that eldest daughters just do without thinking.' Many eldest daughters have a natural impulse to check in on people and make sure everyone is doing what they should, Moore added. What's more, eldest daughters often become the leader of a friend group, or the friend who everyone can count on — 'but no one's there for you,' Harris said. And how would all of this not impact happiness? 'When anybody takes on more responsibility than is appropriate or they can handle, they're going to be more apt to feel overwhelmed,' Moore said. 'They can get burnt out. They can experience symptoms of anxiety or depression.' Additionally, they may even feel like a failure or guilty when they can't stay on top of everything, which further impacts joy, according to Moore. Awareness is the first step in moving past these issues. 'The first step in any kind of behavior change is awareness — becoming aware of the role, understanding and reflecting on where it came from ... noticing what about the role they like and don't like,' Moore said. There may be certain parts of the role that are harming your happiness, like the over-responsibility and the burnout. But there may be parts that you do enjoy, and that is OK. This could mean you're willing to give your siblings advice but they need to call before coming over to get that feedback. Or, if you like arranging your mom's birthday dinners, you can keep doing so but insist that your brother split the bill with you. 'A big part of this process is going to be setting boundaries and really rewriting your role to something that's more aligned with your current values and what you're wanting for yourself now,' Moore said. Inner-child work and self-compassion are important, too. 'A lot of times, what I will have clients do is be curious about something from their childhood they missed out on because they were busy over-functioning,' Harris explained. For example, if you wished that you could go to a swimming pool with your friends but always had to rush home to babysit your siblings, treat yourself with a visit to the pool. 'What did 'little you' want to do that you didn't get to do?' Harris said. Once you decide on that, do some of those things. 'Little-kid you had to be tougher than you should have ever had to be. So we want to comfort little-kid you now, so that you can feel like you can soften in the present,' she added It's also important to be gentle on yourself, which can include journaling, taking a responsibility off your plate so you can rest, or not punishing yourself when you make a mistake, Harris said. You should also find at least one person you can count on and go to when you're having a bad day — and it shouldn't be someone in your family system. 'I really think when we can soften to ourselves and be gentle with ourselves, every single thing in our life changes,' Harris added. 'We're going to have the same day no matter what. But if we can be kinder to ourselves through it, then at the end of the day we're not as miserable, we're not as tired, we're less fatigued.' For eldest daughters who thrive off rigidity and perfectionism, it can be hard to stop that cycle. 'It's like, 'If I'm not hard on myself, then I'm not safe,'' Harris said. But that isn't true, she stressed. What was true when you were a child is not true in adulthood, when you have more resources and autonomy. 'That's a hard thing for the brain to buy into, but if you can soften to yourself a little bit, the body really likes that message,' Harris said. 'The body really is thankful when we're not so hard on ourselves.'This article originally appeared on HuffPost. Also in Goodful: Men Are Sharing Things They Wish More Women Had Sympathy For, And I'm Already Laughing At How Women Will Respond To Some Of These Also in Goodful: 30 Absolutely Wild Medical Facts You've Probably Never Heard Of But Probably Should Hear Also in Goodful: Medical Professionals Are Sharing "Mundane" Things That Actually Make So Many People Sick
BBC News
03-04-2025
- Business
- BBC News
South West businesses fear big hit from National Insurance rise
Some business owners in Devon and Cornwall are worried a hike in National Insurance (NI) payments paid by employers could be "a hammer blow".NI contributions paid by employers will rise from 13.8% to 15% from Sunday, with the threshold traders have to start paying the tax on salaries dropping from £9,100 per year to £5, those criticising the move was Natalie Moore, from the Pickwick Inn at St Issey near Padstow, who said traders were already facing "crippling" government said it had taken "the necessary decisions on tax to stabilise the economy" and the changes would eventually raise £25bn per year. Chancellor Rachel Reeves had said among the changes were a rise in the employment allowance, which allows firms to reduce their NI liability, from £5,000 to £10, her situation, Ms Moore said the changes would cost more than £40,000, with staffing being the biggest financial hit."People sometimes ask us, 'how can you charge that much for the food?', but it's not the food, it's the people serving you or washing up where the cost comes," she said. "It's another hammer blow at a time when energy prices are crippling... the cost of living crisis is taking a huge hit not just hospitality, but on everything."Food prices are through the roof and it's a time when you really can't pass it on to the customer because disposal income is pretty much non-existent for lots of people." 'Stumbling block' Padstow Boatyard owner Will Claxton said the changes would make a "big difference" but in a negative Claxton said he already paid his staff more than the living wage, currently at £12.21 for over-21s, but added he would not be able to give pay rises due to the said the hike was a "stumbling block" and doubted whether he would be able to take on any apprentices this year."We desperately, desperately need to train up some skill in this country, but now that's just been made a lot more difficult," he said."As a business owner, it feels like the government see as driving around in Range Rovers going to play golf."But actually, we're really hardworking people who are really just trying to keep people employed and keep things going." Sally Everton, director of Visit Devon, said a lot of tourism bosses in the county had told her the NI changes would affect their ability to invest in their businesses or employing seasonal staff."Some people have said they might be able to limp through the summer, but whether it's viable to continue is a real concern," she said."The government's policy is growth, but this is not going to help growth across our sector, so it's very short-sighted." Jeff Goodwin, owner of Jeff Goodwin Hair in Exeter, said his business would not be affected too much due to the size of his salon, which has seven said the changes would have a wider impact on the industry and some salon's would salon owner of 41 years said a bigger concern were costs such as VAT and product prices."Keeping up with that and still managing to balance the books, if we put the prices up and pass it on to the customer, then they might comes less often or not come at all," he said."So we have to strike a balance all the time between absorbing costs and passing them on to the client." 'Creating opportunities' The government said it appreciated the "vital importance" of small businesses to the UK economy, adding it had achieved a "great deal" since the last general election.A spokesperson said: "We delivered a once-in-a-parliament Budget that took necessary decisions on tax to stabilise the public finances, including the NHS which has now seen waiting lists fall five months in a row."We are now focused on creating opportunities for businesses to compete and access the finance they need to scale, export and break into new markets."
