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Forbes
4 days ago
- Business
- Forbes
Creating A Great Later Life: Purpose Doesn't Have To Retire
Finding the best path Although lots of the stories we tell each other about retirement from work are positive ("finally, you can do whatever you want!"), the reality can be less sunny. Studies show that depression often increases for many people post-retirement, especially those who have had very responsible jobs, or who identify strongly with their professional persona and accomplishments. If you're thinking about retirement, about cutting back from full-time to part-time work, or about shifting from a many-hours-a-week job to something less demanding, you might be wondering how the change will affect you–and how to make it as positive as possible. In writing my latest book, The New Old: Crafting Your Best Later Life, this issue was very personal for me: At the end of 2023, I mostly retired from Proteus International, the company I founded in 1990 and of which I had been the CEO ever since. I realized that I wanted to envision a post-work life that would be as satisfying and meaningful to me as my work with Proteus had been, and the folks in their 60s, 70s and 80s who I was interviewing for the book told me the same thing. So, the first principle of the book became 'Be the Boss of Your Life'–and the first chapter of that section is called Keep Envisioning Your Future. It talks about how to create a clear and meaningful vision for your 'third act,' that part of your life when raising your kids, if you have them, or advancing your career are no longer your primary focus. I explain exactly how to craft a personalized vision in the book, but here's a quick guide to the key steps. As you're looking to envision what your desired later life will be like, first decide what core question you want your vision to answer. For instance, it might be something like, 'How can I create a purposeful later life?' or 'How can I create a later life that truly satisfies me?' Look for a question that really gets to the heart of what's important to you in this 'third act.' Whenever I've done this kind of visioning, for myself or with others, I've found that having a what-am-I-solving-for question is extremely helpful; it provides a focus for your visioning, a clear challenge you're trying to address. And starting your question with 'How can I…?' is a great framework for opening your mind up to what's possible; it balances aspiration with practicality. The next step to envisioning your future life is to get clear about where you're starting from. In order to focus this current-state reflection so it's not too overwhelming, I suggest you only look at those things that are most relevant to the question you're trying to answer. For instance, if you've decided to use the question, 'How can I create a purposeful later life?', identify the aspects of your current life that will make it either easier or more difficult for you to create a purposeful later life. First, think about the positive things you have in your life right now–strengths, assets, attitudes, relationships, knowledge, capabilities–that could help you answer your question. Then, think about the negative things in your life–weaknesses, gaps, lacks, attitudes, difficulties–that might make it harder to find the answer to your question. For example, if you are very curious and like finding solutions, that could help you create a purposeful later life. If you have a hard time thinking about difficult realities, that could make it harder. Having a good, accurate sense of your current state relative to the question you're trying to answer is essential if you want your vision to be attainable. Once you know what you have going for and against you, you're much more likely to be able to create what I call a 'reasonable aspiration'–a vision for your future that balances the freedom, hope and joy of aspiring with the solid practicality of what's reasonable, given your actual current situation. Now comes the fun part; engaging that part of your brain that can envision the future. And just in case you're thinking to yourself, 'Wait, I'm not a visionary, I never have been'–let me disagree with you. Every human being with a functional brain has the capacity to envision realities that haven't yet occurred. Every time you've imagined a vacation to a place you haven't yet gone, or a relationship that might blossom, or even a gift you might want for your birthday. We humans spend a lot of time inventing and then thinking about realities that don't yet exist! And it turns out this uniquely human capability of envisioning a hoped-for future in this way can significantly increase the likelihood of our achieving that future. Here's a simple process for doing it in a somewhat directed way to help you more clearly picture the later life you want to create for yourself: 1) Select a time frame: We are time-bound creatures, so it's easiest for us to envision how something will be different at a certain point in time or during a period of time. We tend to do it automatically when thinking of our own hopes and dreams (When I finish this project… After the grandbaby's born… Next summer, when we're at the lake…). By this point, having already thought through your own current state relative to your challenge question, you may have a good idea of the time in the future on which you'd like to focus your vision. You might pick a specific point, like 'a year after I retire,' or 'when I'm 70,' or a period of time, like 'in my early 80s.' When I did this exercise a few years ago, the timeframe I chose was 'in my seventies.' 2) Imagine yourself there: At this point, you'll get in a metaphorical time machine and get out on the date or during the period you've selected above, with the assumption that in this future time, you've materially addressed your challenge question. In other words, in this envisioned future, you have 'created a purposeful later life,' if that was your question. It's important to let your imagination do its job and 'put you' in this successful future. One way to do that is to speak to yourself about this future time in the present tense, and to note a few things that are true in that time, to help put you there. (For example, 'My oldest grandchild is 21,' or 'The new decade has just started,' or 'It's been ten years since we sold the family house.') 3) Describe what you see and feel: When you've grounded yourself in this future time you've selected, notice first who you are. Notice things about yourself that demonstrate that you are the person who is living a purposeful life–what does that look, sound, and feel like? Write down your thoughts as they occur to you. Once you've noted the key elements of who you are in this future time, 'look around you': What does your life consist of? How are you spending your time? What impacts are you having on those around you? Again, write down your thoughts as they occur to you. 4) Extract your key vision elements: Now you'll 'boil down' your stream of consciousness brainstorm to pull out the key elements, those things that are most important to you in this envisioned future. First, review and select the few most essential (to you) elements that describe who you are in this optimal later life. Then, select the few things that feel most important to you about how you're living your life–what you're doing, thinking, and accomplishing. These few sentences are the core of your answer to your challenge question: they summarize how your purposeful later life will feel and look. As I noted, I explain this process in much more depth in the book, with space to do the activities I've just proposed–but this brief intro will get you started. And because examples are useful and powerful, here a couple of later life visions from the folks I interviewed and worked with in the course of writing the book: A former executive and thought leader in his eighties: A retired college professor and author in her seventies: I hope this approach will support you in creating a later life that feels joyful, intentional and satisfying to you. Because, in the words of my dear friend Marie Holive - 'Purpose doesn't retire.' So, here's to creating the later life you truly want…
Forbes
27-05-2025
- Business
- Forbes
Afraid To Retire? How To Approach Later Life Differently
Wondering what's next If thinking about retiring worries you or makes you nervous–you're not alone. In a recent survey, 61% of the respondents said they feared retirement more than death! And while many of the respondents cited financial concerns as a major reason for their fear, many had social and personal reasons, as well: And I suspect these kinds of concerns might actually be more prevalent than the survey showed, because talking about financial concerns is easier than talking about emotional difficulties. That is, for many people, it's less uncomfortable to say 'I'm worried about having enough money in retirement' than it is to say, 'I'm worried about losing my social connections and my identity.' When I was interviewing people in their 60s. 70s and 80s for my latest book, The New Old, one very brave and honest interviewee told me this had been his biggest fear about leaving his job as a senior executive. He said, 'I was embarrassed to feel this, but it was true. My identity was so wrapped up in my career, that I simply couldn't imagine who I would be if I was no longer doing that work. It took me awhile to figure out.' I think this is at least partly true for most of us who have had responsible, demanding jobs–especially when those jobs have been very meaningful to us. I found myself in this situation in my late 60s, when I realized that I wanted to start stepping back from Proteus International, the company I had created and run for over 30 years. It made me very anxious, and so I decided to use an approach for facing and overcoming fears that had served me in good stead for many years: As soon as I noticed my anxiety, I made the effort to name my fear (step 1). And what I saw after some self-reflection was that I didn't know who I would be if I wasn't working many hours a week as 'the founder and CEO of Proteus.' I had spent decades with that as a big and important (to me) part of my identity–and the idea of not having that was scary. I asked myself what was the worst thing that could happen to me in this situation (step 2), and I realized that it was the possibility of not having a clear sense of identity and not having impact or influence, that is, not making any positive difference in the world. I then thought about how I could make that outcome less likely, and I understood that I needed to clarify what I wanted my post-work identity to be (step 3). I started by summarizing my curiosity about my later-life identity into a simple question. That question was, 'How can I become what comes after the butterfly?' Here's how I came to that: up to that point, I had been thinking of my life as being like the evolution of a caterpillar to a butterfly. I saw my childhood and youth as the caterpillar stage, and it seemed to me that the deeply self-reflective time I spent in a spiritual community in my twenties was 'being in the cocoon.' I saw being the mother of my children and founder and CEO of my company as my butterfly stage. However, unlike an actual butterfly, I was now seeing that stage wasn't the end for me: I had to discover and build my next stage of evolution. Creating that curious question–'How can I become what comes after the butterfly? –helped me move past my fear into finding answers to that question that resonated for me and making plans to help ensure I moved in that direction (step 4). Then, I began taking action to move toward that new post-butterfly identity, (part of which, for me, was writing The New Old.) So, I encourage you to feel and name your fears about retiring, and then let yourself acknowledge the worst things that could happen if those fears came true. Allow yourself to see and name even the deep, difficult things like, 'I could feel useless," or "People might see me as being less valuable.' Once you've let yourself see and feel those fears and have said to yourself as honestly as possible what they are (step 1), you can get clear about the worst that could happen relative to them (step 2). Then, you can move through those fears by deciding how to make them less likely or less negative (step 3). Finally, you can plan to do that and take action to implement your plans (step 4). Once you've seen what you're most afraid of in changing your relationship to work, and are doing what you need to do to move through and past those fears, you might be surprised. Many of the folks I interviewed for The New Old have found a new sense of joy and meaning in the later lives they're creating for themselves. Some are building knowledge or skills that always interested them, but that they never had the time to pursue previously. Some are building 'portfolio" lives consisting of some of the work they've done before and most enjoyed - as consultants or in a volunteer capacity - and other work they've decided to explore. Still others are devoting their time to pure play: travel, sports, time with friends and family. And I have to say, I'm having a marvelous time in my 70s; I feel like I have the time and bandwidth to discover and explore new things every day, and to continue to support my business in the ways my partners (who are now running it) find most helpful. As a friend of mine said, when I shared this with her, 'Yes. Purpose doesn't retire.' I hope you've found this helpful–and I'd love to hear what you're finding and doing as you explore your own third act….
