Latest news with #SandwichGeneration
SBS Australia
3 days ago
- General
- SBS Australia
After watching her live with dementia for 11 years, I'm relieved my mum's dead
Paula Brand cared for her mother in the final years of her life while also taking care of her daughter who has autism and ADHD. Source: Supplied With ageing parents living longer and children not leaving home, what's it like to be stuck in the middle? Watch Insight episode Sandwich Generation live on SBS On Demand . My mother died six months ago. I loved her but by the end, because of the dementia, I didn't like her. Her death was a relief. I'm also a single mother, raising my child who has autism and ADHD . To have some flexibility in my life, I run my own small business. I work six days a week, split shifts. I haven't had a relationship in 10 years. Every single emotion has been flattened. I have been squeezed so much, there's nothing left. My time is squeezed. My patience is squeezed. My love is squeezed. Caring for my mother on top of caring for my child for the last six years made my life a shit sandwich. I'm not a natural nurturer, so taking on a carer's role with my mother was very difficult. She both created and was positioned in difficult situations that made everything all the harder. She ran away from the aged care centre she was living in and got together with a man who she claims ended up stealing money from her. She also had to endure COVID-19 lockdowns while in aged care . I visited my mother every fortnight, which doesn't seem much. Though, after coping with her dementia for 11 years — and having the same conversations again and again about her boyfriend — my patience and love thinned. Dementia is hard on family members and "loving trips down memory lane" experiences are very rare. I found mum's aged care centre drab and dreary. It smelled horribly of chemicals, urine and death. When you get one day off a week, it's not the place you want to spend time. You force yourself to visit. To this day, I remember the stench. My daughter refused to step foot in the door as the smell was too much. In my caring of my mother, I had to also balance and prioritise the needs of my child. As a parent, my job is to keep my vulnerable child safe. Unfortunately, my daughter suffered from consistent bullying for over a year at school. Dealing with my daughter's bullying situation, my mum dying, being a single mum and running a business while in my late 50s, was overwhelming. In the end, we can all only do the best we can do, but was I loving enough to my mother? Probably not. Some people talk about this glorious moment of seeing their loved one's last breath while holding their hand. But I wasn't with my mum when she died. I decided not to be. I had to make the choice of who needs me more. I hadn't really seen my daughter for three days and she needed me. I don't think anyone should die alone but I had said my goodbyes to my mother. Though, sometimes I do find myself hoping she didn't miss me not being there. Dementia is the longest death, and in my mother's case, it was drawn out over 11 years. It was exhausting, depressing, lonely and extremely frustrating. I was her guardian for health, accommodation, medication. Every single part of her life, I was responsible. Because of that, I never felt like a daughter again. My role as her daughter ended years ago and I grieved it then. Seeing my mother's health and mind deteriorate over a decade made me realise I will not be going into aged care. If I do end up getting dementia, for me, the decision to continue living or not, will be a very difficult one. I don't think I would choose to have that life. I would not want to be a burden for my daughter, who is going to struggle through life anyway. But for now, the burden has been lifted and I'm in an era of freedom. I bought a campervan and have taken my daughter on road trips, and we've gone on overseas holidays to Bali and Thailand. We are reconnecting after I had to have split focus, taking care of my dying mother. It may sound horrible, but now that my mum is dead, I finally — at the age of 56 — get to have a life. Readers seeking confidential information and support on dementia can contact the National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500. Carer Gateway is an Australian government program providing free services and support for carers and can be contacted on 1800 422 737.
Yahoo
6 days ago
- Business
- Yahoo
'I Am Just Done' — Gen X-er Wants To Retire at 55 But Has No Money Saved in a Single-Income Household: 'Why Does Everything Have To Be So Hard?'
They've been called the Sandwich Generation, the Forgotten Generation, and America's Middle Child. But Generation X — those born between 1965 and 1980 — might just be the first group to age out of the workforce while still trying to figure out how to pay the electric bill. A post in the GenX subreddit struck a nerve with users who know that exact feeling of burnout. The original poster, nearing 55, shared a deeply relatable sentiment: "I am tired and not happy at work any more... I really just want time off with no work stress for a long while." They added, "I am just done... Why does everything have to be so hard?" Don't Miss: Hasbro, MGM, and Skechers trust this AI marketing firm — Deloitte's fastest-growing software company partners with Amazon, Walmart & Target – They weren't just venting. This was a cry for help from someone staring down the final stretch of their working years and seriously questioning whether they can hang on. "Not sure how I can do this anymore and survive till 60 when we can get at least some benefits," they wrote, referring to early retirement options. "Probably not enough to pay basic bills." With no savings, no second income in the household, and no motivation to switch careers or learn a new trade, the post reads like someone running on fumes. The user mentioned tapping into their retirement savings account just to cover living expenses, and now feels stuck with no off-ramp in sight. "Always been a single income family," they explained. "Savings are none... biggest issue is paying the basic bills and taxes." It's a familiar story for many Gen Xers — caught between aging parents, grown kids who might still live at home, and jobs that haven't exactly kept pace with inflation. And the numbers reflect that tension. Trending: Maker of the $60,000 foldable home has 3 factory buildings, 600+ houses built, and big plans to solve housing — According to Fidelity's Q4 2024 data, the average Gen X 401(k) balance is $192,300, with IRA balances around $103,952. Sounds decent — until you realize those are averages, not medians. The National Institute on Retirement Security reports the typical Gen X household has just $40,000 saved. Meanwhile, a Schroders survey found Gen Xers think they'll need $1.07 million to retire — but expect to have only about $603,000. That's a six-figure shortfall. Redditors weren't shy about pointing out the risks. One responded bluntly: "Honestly, if you're not financially prepared to retire, the choice isn't really up to you. You're stuck working until you drop." Another added, "If you're tired and stressed now, you're really going to hate being homeless."One user shared how both of their parents tried to retire early without enough savings — and are now in a financially precarious position. Another noted how hard it is to return to the workforce after stepping away, especially when ageism enters the equation. "Once you exit the workforce it's really hard to get back in," one wrote. "Especially when you're bumping up against ageism." Still, not all hope was lost. Some commenters offered practical — if less-than-glamorous — alternatives, like part-time work, co-living arrangements, or even moving to a country with a lower cost of living. One suggested meeting with a financial planner and setting more realistic goals — and then adding 10%–20% to account for inflation and unpredictability. The truth is, retiring without savings is less of a personal failure and more of a systemic crunch Gen X has quietly carried for years. But as several users pointed out, unless you're ready to radically downsize your lifestyle, the dream of walking away at 55 might not be a real option. At the very least, talking to a financial advisor could help sort out what's possible — and what's wishful thinking. Because as one Redditor bluntly put it: "Even 'enough' is rarely enough anymore." Read Next: Invest where it hurts — and help millions heal:. 'Scrolling To UBI' — Deloitte's #1 fastest-growing software company allows users to earn money on their phones. Image: Shutterstock UNLOCKED: 5 NEW TRADES EVERY WEEK. Click now to get top trade ideas daily, plus unlimited access to cutting-edge tools and strategies to gain an edge in the markets. Get the latest stock analysis from Benzinga? APPLE (AAPL): Free Stock Analysis Report TESLA (TSLA): Free Stock Analysis Report This article 'I Am Just Done' — Gen X-er Wants To Retire at 55 But Has No Money Saved in a Single-Income Household: 'Why Does Everything Have To Be So Hard?' originally appeared on © 2025 Benzinga does not provide investment advice. All rights reserved. Error in retrieving data Sign in to access your portfolio Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data
Forbes
22-05-2025
- Health
- Forbes
Here's A Medicare Checklist For Your Parents (And Maybe You, Too)
Are you, or someone you love part of the Sandwich generation? Sandwich generally means something you eat that consists of two pieces of bread with a filling between them. But in 1981, it became the name of a generation. Initially, it described a segment of the middle-aged generation (young Baby Boomers) who were caregivers, 'sandwiched' between their young children and aging parents. Today, Boomers may find themselves sandwiched between their grandchildren, children, parents, maybe even, grandparents. Sometimes, the Boomers may need caregivers, as well. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that Baby Boomers most often cared for a parent or parent-in-law (42%). Besides all the physical, emotional and mental issues related to that care, there are many Medicare concerns that need to be addressed. In my experience, those often seem to get lost in the shuffle. But when there is a health crisis, not having addressed Medicare issues can intensify the situation. It's never too late to get ready. This checklist will help you fill in the gaps just in case and, if you are a Boomer, it might be good to do this for yourself, another 'just-in-case.' Because Medicare encompasses so many Social Security issues (and vice versa), let's start with that. Verify that contact information (name, address, email) is current. One of the biggest roadblocks in verifying identity with Social Security is a name or address that doesn't match the system's records. There's no need for information about your parents' health and medical coverage when they are healthy and managing on their own. But when a medical crisis is wreaking havoc, you'll need that information so you might as well get it now. Just as with Social Security, you need more than a POA to talk with Medicare. You must be a Medicare representative to talk to Medicare and deal with claims, appeals, and grievances. Complete a form and submit it to Medicare. If you want to talk with a Medicare Advantage or drug plan representative about a billing or coverage issue, you may need to complete a form for the plan. Medicare Part B, medical insurance, Medicare supplement plans, some Medicare Advantage plans, and most Part D drug plans come with monthly premiums. Failing to pay them can lead to cancelation of the coverage. Once that happens, there is often a delay in getting the coverage back in place. With Part B and Part D coverage (either a standalone plan or incorporated into an Advantage plan), there can be lifelong penalties. If the Medicare supplement is canceled, it may be necessary to pass medical underwriting to get the coverage reinstated. Here are a few things to know about payment for each type of coverage. Part B: Medicare Advantage and Part D plans: Medicare supplement plans: There is no option for deducting these premiums from Social Security. The next best option is to arrange for automatic deductions from a checking or savings account. As you may have noticed, the safest solution is to set up everything on auto pay. One client did not trust auto-pay, so he opted to just send payments via US Mail. The next time I heard from him two years later, his Part B had been canceled for nonpayment of premiums. He wasn't sure exactly what happened. You don't need to check out these documents if your parent is independent. Just know where they are. Before my father went in for major surgery, he showed me his hiding spot in the basement ceiling. I suspect as soon as he was back home, he moved them. If there's a hospitalization, this information will be important. Some days, it seems as though the mailbox is filled with only junk mail. However, it's important to dig through that for any important mailings. I have heard from children of retirees who learned that their parents' retiree coverage was changed to a Medicare Advantage plan when they started getting bills from their doctors who were suddenly out-of-network. Every January, I get calls from those who did not pay attention during Open Enrollment. Their premiums skyrocketed or an expensive drug was no longer covered. Someone turning age 65 today has almost a 70% chance of needing long-term care services and support in their remaining years. Over half of middle-income Baby Boomers believe that Medicare will pay for their ongoing long-term care, so they believe they're covered. If you don't know whether your parent has planned for these costs, this could fall on you. The average annual amount caregivers spend out-of-pocket on caregiving is $7,242. Plus, all the hours of caregiving provided by family members is worth $204,000. Maybe, it's time to have a conversation. I know from experience that this is not easy, but you can get through this with a plan. Arrange the steps in a logical order and check them off. Then, you will be prepared for whatever lies ahead.
