Latest news with #SandwichGeneration
Yahoo
20-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
"You're doing two full-time, emotional jobs" – 3 women share their 'sandwich carer' experiences
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. With ageing populations globally, the 'Sandwich generation' is growing rapidly. It's estimated that 1.4 million adults in the UK and 11 million in the US, the majority of whom are women aged 35-64, spend many hours a week juggling the needs of family members at both ends of the age spectrum. Balancing these dual caregiving roles alongside work responsibilities and other commitments can create immense pressure, with many reporting feeling stressed, low on money and short on time. The mental health impact is also significant, with the Office for National Statistics finding 31% of sandwich carers in the UK report symptoms of depression or anxiety (vs 24% in the general population) and 19% diagnosed with depression (vs 13% among all adults). Different setups Rachael Piltch-Loeb, 35, is a Professor of Public Health who lives in New York with her husband and three young children. She recently wrote a book titled The Millennial Caregiver, sharing her experience of assuming a caregiving role for her father, who was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's at 58 in the same year her first son, now five, was born. 'It was one of the starkest contrasts to see the development of a child and the decline of a parent concurrently. My siblings and I took turns supporting my dad and offering respite to my mum, who was also working full time. "We each assumed different roles based on our own personal and professional commitments. Given my career experience, I took on the research and management of care decisions.' For Rachael, there were specific challenges in just entering the early stages of motherhood herself whilst taking on looking after a parent. Dementia specialist Victoria Lyons, 50, who works at Dementia UK, is currently caring for her mother-in-law as well as her children aged 12 and 15. 'Like many, I had my children later in life, so my mother-in-law is now 90. Having been a widow since 1977, she was diagnosed with dementia in lockdown and, whilst she still lives alone, we are just two minutes' walk away. "My husband, Andrew and I spend well over 30 hours a week with her, as well as both working. The longest we ever leave her is two to three hours.' Sarah Gates, 49, has also taken on the role of a sandwich carer, supporting her granny, father and mother alongside looking after her teenage children for eight years. She left her full-time lecturing job to be able to regularly visit her parents and grandmother (who lived 2.5 hours away) and still be hands-on at home with her teens. Sarah tag-teams on visits with her brother, David, but when her father died five years ago, she turned to Age UK, which helped organise a carer for her mum. 'Mum was hugely resistant and angry about receiving any help. Her 'PA' was originally introduced to help her with 'admin and typing'. Once she was accepted as a friend, her visits became part of the routine. "Now the team can cook meals, offer personal care and take Mum to appointments and out for a coffee too. Unfortunately, this amazing service comes at a cost, so we need to sell her house to fund getting her into a home near me.' Deeply challenging Despite Victoria's training as a dementia specialist, Admiral Nurse, her caregiving role at home puts significant strain on the family. She and her husband need to balance the school runs and kids' commitments while also getting her mother-in-law to a care centre three days a week, preparing her meals and seeing to her personal care. 'It's harder than I ever thought it would be, and we don't always get things right," she says. "My husband and I both try to keep a handle on our stress levels and minimise the impact on the children, but I know at times they both feel like it is 'nanny first.' "The experience has given the kids a greater understanding of what care means as well as an awareness of dementia. "Spending so much time with my mother-in-law, there are moments of joy and great laughter – Nanny has a very funny sense of humour and listening to her and the boys cracking up and playing together is a real bonus.' Look after yourself too Rachael has some advice for others faced with so many life transitions – starting families, building careers, trying to afford housing, then adding caregiving into the mix suddenly. 'First, lower the bar," advises Rachael. "You're doing two full-time, emotional jobs, so let go of the idea that you must show up 100% for everyone every day. It's ok if some days your toddler gets screen time, and your dad gets a frozen meal. "Second, accept help in whatever form it shows up, even if it's imperfect. And third, protect time for yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup – and I say that not as an inspirational quote but as a survival strategy.' Rachael's book is available to buy now, in paperback or Kindle editions. View Deal Practical advice Victoria recommends devices such as a Ring doorbell (to prevent wandering, reduce anxiety, and provide a sense of security) and a dementia clock in addition to lots of noticeboards, pictures and signage as helpful practical steps. Sarah found obtaining Power of Attorney (a legal document that grants a carer the authority to act on someone's behalf in legal, health and financial matters) a vital early step. 'We obtained two types of Power of Attorney (PoA) – one for health and one for finance, which were crucial in helping us look after Mum, Dad and my Granny (who died last year). "When it comes to health, PoA enables you to call the GP to get test results or to make decisions regarding end-of-life care when the time comes. "With finance, it meant being able to pay bills, budget for carers, order groceries online and help get cash for Mum when she'd forgotten her PIN number.' Getting help 'Caring for elderly parents, grandparents, and teenagers means you must expect the unexpected. Meeting everyone's basic needs is the easier part," Sarah reflects. "The hard part is the emotional fallout. Finding time to reassure a parent with dementia who feels lost and anxious alongside a teen who has had a horrible A-level exam and is upset and panicking is full on. "There's an underlying feeling of anxiety as you try to work out what's best to support your loved ones with such different demands, but I've become better at delegating, getting help and asking people for advice.' The constant balancing act of sandwich caring is highly pressurised, so seeking out guidance and help is essential. A growing network of services offers emotional support and practical input, as well as connecting communities of fellow carers and giving moments of peace amidst the pressure. In the UK For advice or support on caring for someone living with dementia, contact Dementia UK's Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline on 0800 888 6678 or helpline@ Carers UK, Action for Carers and Citizens Advice are also good sources of advice. In the US The Family Caregiver Alliance, the National Council on Aging, and local Area Agencies on Aging can provide help and advice on how best to support your family Solve the daily Crossword
Business Insider
18-06-2025
- Business
- Business Insider
Gen X's real estate gripes
Tales of intergenerational turmoil tend to strike a nerve, so I steeled myself for some angry emails last month when I wrote a story about the millennials who aren't ready to inherit homes from their baby boomer parents. Both boomers and millennials have good reason to get touchy about media scrutiny — each side has caught plenty of grief for the economic shortcomings of the younger generation. But in all my mental preparation, I failed to consider that my story would piss off an entire other cohort: Gen Xers. What I wrote still rings true: Millennials stand to inherit trillions of dollars' worth of real estate as baby boomers age out of the market, which means they'll soon be wading through complicated questions about trusts, taxes, and what to do with all of their parents' worthless junk. In nearly 3,000 words on this looming wealth transfer, however, I made no mention of Gen Xers. Readers let me have it. "You seem to not realize that there was a generation between the boomers and the millennials," one wrote. "Not trying to be a bitch, I just wanted to give you the opportunity to salvage your credibility." "Please remember that Gen X exists." In the grand scheme of internet discourse, the messages were polite and level-headed (typical Gen Xers), but there was one email that really stuck with me. It was from Amy Reed, a 52-year-old in Ohio, who wanted to emphasize that Gen Xers like her were already dealing with the nightmare scenarios outlined in my millennial-centric story. Members of the so-called Sandwich Generation, in their mid-40s to early 60s, are stuck with the daunting task of sorting out their parents' affairs while also helping out their own children. And nobody seems to care. "I know Gen X is the forgotten generation," Reed wrote. "It just hurts when I'm the one dealing with this." In my defense, baby boomers and millennials are the two largest living adult generations, and together they drive the housing market. Boomers own a whopping $19.7 trillion worth of US real estate, or 41% of the country's total value, so it's no surprise their concerns rise to the top in any discussion of America's homebuying shifts. Millennials may not be the richest, with only 20% of the nation's real estate value to their name, but they are the largest cohort by population (and maybe the loudest). By contrast, Gen Xers get lost somewhere in the middle. Their population numbers lag behind both millennials and boomers. While they own about $14 trillion of real estate, or 29% of the country's value, they've also had more time than millennials to amass that wealth, riding out the market's gains since the global financial crisis. Gen Xers may inherit a portion of boomers' riches, but economists and demographers I talked to say the vast majority — or whatever is left of it after costly retirements and eldercare — will end up in the hands of millennials. I know Gen X is the forgotten generation. It just hurts when I'm the one dealing with this. Amy Reed, Gen Xer Reed was right, though. Gen X really is the forgotten generation. These poor middle-agers, former latchkey kids raised on MTV, are now toiling in the shadows, upstaged by the splashier generations on either side of them. "The boomers kind of sucked up all the air in the room," Eric Finnigan, a demograher at John Burns Research and Consulting, tells me. Millennials, by extension, get all this attention as the children of the boomers. Gen X, meanwhile, "has this reputation as kind of being on their own," Finnigan says. Gen Xers appear to be doing just fine on the housing front: They were the highest-earning buyers last year, and around 70% of them own their homes, data from the National Association of Realtors and the Census Bureau shows. But while millennials may look enviously at their ho-hum path to prosperity, Gen Xers got screwed in their own way, too. The typical Gen Xer bought their first home in 2004, in the thick of the housing bubble, NAR data shows. After the financial crisis, their cohort was the most likely to end up underwater on their homes. By 2014, more than a quarter of Gen Xers owed more on their mortgages than their houses were worth, NAR found, the highest rate of any generation. Most Gen Xers have recovered financially since then, says Jessica Lautz, an economist at NAR who studies demographic trends. Now, though, they're caught in a different kind of bind as they care for two generations with vastly different needs. A survey published in September by John Burns indicated that around 40% of Gen Zers living on their own still got financial help from their parents — most of whom are probably Gen Xers. "There's a lot of financial pressure on this generation, actually," Lautz says. Reed knows this all too well. We talked on the phone a few days after she emailed me, and I was struck by how much her predicament speaks to the stress of being a Gen Xer these days. Her parents are in their 80s, divorced, and dealing with various health issues. Each of them is a homeowner for now, but Reed knows that in the not-so-distant future, she'll have to move them into senior living. Then she'll have to figure out what to do with their property — not just the houses, but the decades' worth of stuff stashed inside. "That is just beyond daunting," Reed tells me. Reed and her husband also send money each month to their two children, ages 27 and 30, who rent homes in California and Arizona because they can't afford to buy. Reed says she's trying to save up to help them with down payments when they're ready. "I work full time, my husband works full time, and we just kind of do what we can," Reed says. "You just balance it, because you don't have a choice." There's a lot of financial pressure on this generation, actually. Jessica Lautz, deputy chief economist at the National Association of Realtors Reed says between the monthly payments to her children and all those trips to take care of her parents when health crises strike — not to mention the time off from work — she has no idea how much all of this is costing her. "I don't want to know," she says. "I just do it." Her own children, "cuspers" who may count as either young millennials or older Gen Zers, depending on your definition, are already begging her not to leave them with piles of stuff and an aging property that requires lots of maintenance. Reed's goal, she says, is to eventually sell their house and move into an apartment out west, closer to the kids. She hopes to leave them with money, not a bunch of open-ended questions. Such financial pressures have other Gen Xers fretting over whether they'll be able to afford retirements at all. One woman in her 50s told Business Insider last year that she had spent more than $100,000 taking care of her mother in a 15-year span. "I'm exhausted financially, and, frankly, I didn't consider growing up I'd be the financial rock of my family," she said. Every cohort is guaranteed to go through its own Sandwich Generation moment, caught at the life stage when its members are relied upon by both their parents and their children. It's difficult enough to shoulder all of those burdens at once. It's another thing to do it with hardly a pat on the back. Gen Xers aren't known for making a fuss, though. They've kept their heads down, grinding through their careers and bumping Nirvana through their headphones. Reed isn't any different. "I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing," Reed says. "And you know, how society views my generation? Whatever. I can't change it."
SBS Australia
30-05-2025
- General
- SBS Australia
After watching her live with dementia for 11 years, I'm relieved my mum's dead
Paula Brand cared for her mother in the final years of her life while also taking care of her daughter who has autism and ADHD. Source: Supplied With ageing parents living longer and children not leaving home, what's it like to be stuck in the middle? Watch Insight episode Sandwich Generation live on SBS On Demand . My mother died six months ago. I loved her but by the end, because of the dementia, I didn't like her. Her death was a relief. I'm also a single mother, raising my child who has autism and ADHD . To have some flexibility in my life, I run my own small business. I work six days a week, split shifts. I haven't had a relationship in 10 years. Every single emotion has been flattened. I have been squeezed so much, there's nothing left. My time is squeezed. My patience is squeezed. My love is squeezed. Caring for my mother on top of caring for my child for the last six years made my life a shit sandwich. I'm not a natural nurturer, so taking on a carer's role with my mother was very difficult. She both created and was positioned in difficult situations that made everything all the harder. She ran away from the aged care centre she was living in and got together with a man who she claims ended up stealing money from her. She also had to endure COVID-19 lockdowns while in aged care . I visited my mother every fortnight, which doesn't seem much. Though, after coping with her dementia for 11 years — and having the same conversations again and again about her boyfriend — my patience and love thinned. Dementia is hard on family members and "loving trips down memory lane" experiences are very rare. I found mum's aged care centre drab and dreary. It smelled horribly of chemicals, urine and death. When you get one day off a week, it's not the place you want to spend time. You force yourself to visit. To this day, I remember the stench. My daughter refused to step foot in the door as the smell was too much. In my caring of my mother, I had to also balance and prioritise the needs of my child. As a parent, my job is to keep my vulnerable child safe. Unfortunately, my daughter suffered from consistent bullying for over a year at school. Dealing with my daughter's bullying situation, my mum dying, being a single mum and running a business while in my late 50s, was overwhelming. In the end, we can all only do the best we can do, but was I loving enough to my mother? Probably not. Some people talk about this glorious moment of seeing their loved one's last breath while holding their hand. But I wasn't with my mum when she died. I decided not to be. I had to make the choice of who needs me more. I hadn't really seen my daughter for three days and she needed me. I don't think anyone should die alone but I had said my goodbyes to my mother. Though, sometimes I do find myself hoping she didn't miss me not being there. Dementia is the longest death, and in my mother's case, it was drawn out over 11 years. It was exhausting, depressing, lonely and extremely frustrating. I was her guardian for health, accommodation, medication. Every single part of her life, I was responsible. Because of that, I never felt like a daughter again. My role as her daughter ended years ago and I grieved it then. Seeing my mother's health and mind deteriorate over a decade made me realise I will not be going into aged care. If I do end up getting dementia, for me, the decision to continue living or not, will be a very difficult one. I don't think I would choose to have that life. I would not want to be a burden for my daughter, who is going to struggle through life anyway. But for now, the burden has been lifted and I'm in an era of freedom. I bought a campervan and have taken my daughter on road trips, and we've gone on overseas holidays to Bali and Thailand. We are reconnecting after I had to have split focus, taking care of my dying mother. It may sound horrible, but now that my mum is dead, I finally — at the age of 56 — get to have a life. Readers seeking confidential information and support on dementia can contact the National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500. Carer Gateway is an Australian government program providing free services and support for carers and can be contacted on 1800 422 737.
Yahoo
26-05-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
'I Am Just Done' — Gen X-er Wants To Retire at 55 But Has No Money Saved in a Single-Income Household: 'Why Does Everything Have To Be So Hard?'
They've been called the Sandwich Generation, the Forgotten Generation, and America's Middle Child. But Generation X — those born between 1965 and 1980 — might just be the first group to age out of the workforce while still trying to figure out how to pay the electric bill. A post in the GenX subreddit struck a nerve with users who know that exact feeling of burnout. The original poster, nearing 55, shared a deeply relatable sentiment: "I am tired and not happy at work any more... I really just want time off with no work stress for a long while." They added, "I am just done... Why does everything have to be so hard?" Don't Miss: Hasbro, MGM, and Skechers trust this AI marketing firm — Deloitte's fastest-growing software company partners with Amazon, Walmart & Target – They weren't just venting. This was a cry for help from someone staring down the final stretch of their working years and seriously questioning whether they can hang on. "Not sure how I can do this anymore and survive till 60 when we can get at least some benefits," they wrote, referring to early retirement options. "Probably not enough to pay basic bills." With no savings, no second income in the household, and no motivation to switch careers or learn a new trade, the post reads like someone running on fumes. The user mentioned tapping into their retirement savings account just to cover living expenses, and now feels stuck with no off-ramp in sight. "Always been a single income family," they explained. "Savings are none... biggest issue is paying the basic bills and taxes." It's a familiar story for many Gen Xers — caught between aging parents, grown kids who might still live at home, and jobs that haven't exactly kept pace with inflation. And the numbers reflect that tension. Trending: Maker of the $60,000 foldable home has 3 factory buildings, 600+ houses built, and big plans to solve housing — According to Fidelity's Q4 2024 data, the average Gen X 401(k) balance is $192,300, with IRA balances around $103,952. Sounds decent — until you realize those are averages, not medians. The National Institute on Retirement Security reports the typical Gen X household has just $40,000 saved. Meanwhile, a Schroders survey found Gen Xers think they'll need $1.07 million to retire — but expect to have only about $603,000. That's a six-figure shortfall. Redditors weren't shy about pointing out the risks. One responded bluntly: "Honestly, if you're not financially prepared to retire, the choice isn't really up to you. You're stuck working until you drop." Another added, "If you're tired and stressed now, you're really going to hate being homeless."One user shared how both of their parents tried to retire early without enough savings — and are now in a financially precarious position. Another noted how hard it is to return to the workforce after stepping away, especially when ageism enters the equation. "Once you exit the workforce it's really hard to get back in," one wrote. "Especially when you're bumping up against ageism." Still, not all hope was lost. Some commenters offered practical — if less-than-glamorous — alternatives, like part-time work, co-living arrangements, or even moving to a country with a lower cost of living. One suggested meeting with a financial planner and setting more realistic goals — and then adding 10%–20% to account for inflation and unpredictability. The truth is, retiring without savings is less of a personal failure and more of a systemic crunch Gen X has quietly carried for years. But as several users pointed out, unless you're ready to radically downsize your lifestyle, the dream of walking away at 55 might not be a real option. At the very least, talking to a financial advisor could help sort out what's possible — and what's wishful thinking. Because as one Redditor bluntly put it: "Even 'enough' is rarely enough anymore." Read Next: Invest where it hurts — and help millions heal:. 'Scrolling To UBI' — Deloitte's #1 fastest-growing software company allows users to earn money on their phones. Image: Shutterstock UNLOCKED: 5 NEW TRADES EVERY WEEK. Click now to get top trade ideas daily, plus unlimited access to cutting-edge tools and strategies to gain an edge in the markets. Get the latest stock analysis from Benzinga? APPLE (AAPL): Free Stock Analysis Report TESLA (TSLA): Free Stock Analysis Report This article 'I Am Just Done' — Gen X-er Wants To Retire at 55 But Has No Money Saved in a Single-Income Household: 'Why Does Everything Have To Be So Hard?' originally appeared on © 2025 Benzinga does not provide investment advice. All rights reserved. Error in retrieving data Sign in to access your portfolio Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data
Forbes
22-05-2025
- Health
- Forbes
Here's A Medicare Checklist For Your Parents (And Maybe You, Too)
Are you, or someone you love part of the Sandwich generation? Sandwich generally means something you eat that consists of two pieces of bread with a filling between them. But in 1981, it became the name of a generation. Initially, it described a segment of the middle-aged generation (young Baby Boomers) who were caregivers, 'sandwiched' between their young children and aging parents. Today, Boomers may find themselves sandwiched between their grandchildren, children, parents, maybe even, grandparents. Sometimes, the Boomers may need caregivers, as well. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that Baby Boomers most often cared for a parent or parent-in-law (42%). Besides all the physical, emotional and mental issues related to that care, there are many Medicare concerns that need to be addressed. In my experience, those often seem to get lost in the shuffle. But when there is a health crisis, not having addressed Medicare issues can intensify the situation. It's never too late to get ready. This checklist will help you fill in the gaps just in case and, if you are a Boomer, it might be good to do this for yourself, another 'just-in-case.' Because Medicare encompasses so many Social Security issues (and vice versa), let's start with that. Verify that contact information (name, address, email) is current. One of the biggest roadblocks in verifying identity with Social Security is a name or address that doesn't match the system's records. There's no need for information about your parents' health and medical coverage when they are healthy and managing on their own. But when a medical crisis is wreaking havoc, you'll need that information so you might as well get it now. Just as with Social Security, you need more than a POA to talk with Medicare. You must be a Medicare representative to talk to Medicare and deal with claims, appeals, and grievances. Complete a form and submit it to Medicare. If you want to talk with a Medicare Advantage or drug plan representative about a billing or coverage issue, you may need to complete a form for the plan. Medicare Part B, medical insurance, Medicare supplement plans, some Medicare Advantage plans, and most Part D drug plans come with monthly premiums. Failing to pay them can lead to cancelation of the coverage. Once that happens, there is often a delay in getting the coverage back in place. With Part B and Part D coverage (either a standalone plan or incorporated into an Advantage plan), there can be lifelong penalties. If the Medicare supplement is canceled, it may be necessary to pass medical underwriting to get the coverage reinstated. Here are a few things to know about payment for each type of coverage. Part B: Medicare Advantage and Part D plans: Medicare supplement plans: There is no option for deducting these premiums from Social Security. The next best option is to arrange for automatic deductions from a checking or savings account. As you may have noticed, the safest solution is to set up everything on auto pay. One client did not trust auto-pay, so he opted to just send payments via US Mail. The next time I heard from him two years later, his Part B had been canceled for nonpayment of premiums. He wasn't sure exactly what happened. You don't need to check out these documents if your parent is independent. Just know where they are. Before my father went in for major surgery, he showed me his hiding spot in the basement ceiling. I suspect as soon as he was back home, he moved them. If there's a hospitalization, this information will be important. Some days, it seems as though the mailbox is filled with only junk mail. However, it's important to dig through that for any important mailings. I have heard from children of retirees who learned that their parents' retiree coverage was changed to a Medicare Advantage plan when they started getting bills from their doctors who were suddenly out-of-network. Every January, I get calls from those who did not pay attention during Open Enrollment. Their premiums skyrocketed or an expensive drug was no longer covered. Someone turning age 65 today has almost a 70% chance of needing long-term care services and support in their remaining years. Over half of middle-income Baby Boomers believe that Medicare will pay for their ongoing long-term care, so they believe they're covered. If you don't know whether your parent has planned for these costs, this could fall on you. The average annual amount caregivers spend out-of-pocket on caregiving is $7,242. Plus, all the hours of caregiving provided by family members is worth $204,000. Maybe, it's time to have a conversation. I know from experience that this is not easy, but you can get through this with a plan. Arrange the steps in a logical order and check them off. Then, you will be prepared for whatever lies ahead.
