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Sinar Daily
20 hours ago
- General
- Sinar Daily
Parents glued to phones risk raising aggressive, less empathetic kids, experts warn
SHAH ALAM – Constant parental distraction by phones and digital devices may be eroding children's ability to develop empathy, experts warn. The lack of deep emotional engagement during early childhood, a crucial stage for learning compassion, could leave youngsters more self-focused and prone to aggression. According to Dr Wan Munira Wan Jaafar, a senior lecturer at the Department of Social and Development Sciences, Faculty of Human Ecology, Universiti Putra Malaysia, many Malaysian parents today are caught in the grip of 'FOMO' (Fear of Missing Out), feeling the need to constantly check social media, and engage in 'phubbing'; the act of snubbing someone in favor of a phone. 'In sociological terms, Symbolic Interactionism explains how children develop meaning and social cues through face-to-face interaction; when these are replaced by distracted, partial attention, children miss opportunities to learn empathy and emotional reciprocity. 'Social Learning Theory further suggests that when parents model detachment and screen-preoccupation, children may normalise such behaviors and replicate them with peers,' she said when contacted recently. Munira further warned that over time, this lack of deep emotional exchange at home can lead children to become more self-focused, less attuned to others' feelings, and in some cases, more prone to aggressive or bullying behavior. She also pointed out the breakdown of traditional social bonds such as at home, in schools, and in communities do play a significant role in the rise of bullying among youth. 'In Malaysia's past, strong family ties, close teacher–student relationships, and the 'kampung spirit' of communal responsibility meant children were closely guided and corrected by multiple layers of authority and care,' she said. She noted that today, urbanisation, busy dual-income households, and weaker neighborhood networks mean less adult presence and fewer opportunities for young people to develop empathy, respect, and conflict-resolution skills. From a sociological standpoint, Munira explained that Social Disorganization Theory posits that when the institutions and social bonds that uphold order weaken, deviant behaviours such as bullying are more likely to emerge. Similarly, Control Theory argues that strong bonds to family, school, and community act as a restraint on harmful behavior; when these bonds erode, youth may feel less accountable for their actions. The normalisation of bullying must end, particularly in boarding schools, where hazing and 'initiation' practices are sometimes dismissed as tradition. Photo: Canva 'Without these traditional support systems reinforcing pro-social values, aggressive behavior can flourish both online and offline,' she said. Meanwhile, Manipal University College Malaysia Criminologist Nadiah Syariani Md Shariff highlighted that without proper guidance, children lack the ability to tell if the behaviours are good or not, therefore, if the imitated behaviours serve the child, these behaviours are most likely to remain and reinforce as they learn that it works or help them to get what they want. Nadiah noted that violent media serves as modelling behaviours for children viewing, and many researches have found that frequent or repeated exposure to such content is likely to nurture aggression tendency within children by two-fold (can refer to Bobo-Doll Experiment about social learning in children). 'Children initially imitate the aggressive act from the media without knowing the possible impact of the action to them or others. 'If the act serves them, in most cases they do in making others comply, they learnt that would be the ideal response especially when conflict arises,' she told Sinar Daily. Nadiah stressed that social media content is highly influential and unlike the past decade, youngsters nowadays are very much engaged in technology where most of their first-hand information is retrieved from the Internet. She said that everything they learnt is mainly from the internet, therefore, if aggressive content such as bullying is repetitively appearing on their social media feed, this would desensitise youngsters to the act of bullying, and distort the perception of harm and consequences of bullying, making the act more readily adapted and imitated. Nadiah also added that these toxic contents are easily and widely accessible online. Observing violent media is one, the dynamics of the online environment is another factor in escalating bullying tendency. 'For example, the algorithm in social media is tailored to personal preferences or previous view, further suggesting similar contents appearing repetitively, as if constantly 'feeding' the mind towards acceptance of pro-delinquent norms and values,' she said. Online trends, she added, are meant to reach a wider audience, and it can also create a sense of attraction or competition which is further validated through likes, comments and shares. Without much self-control or self-restraints, it becomes difficult for youngsters to resist the temptation or fear from missing out. Nadiah emphasised that aggressive behaviour, including bullying, is learned through observation and imitation. 'Bullying behaviours are learned, whether online or offline. Learning at a young age is through the 'monkey see, monkey do' model and this usually takes place through observation of surroundings or during interaction with others, which is followed by imitation of the behaviours. 'These observed behaviours, whether good or bad, can be displayed or modelled by parents, peers, adults, or through media,' she said.
Sinar Daily
20 hours ago
- Sinar Daily
Zara Qairina's case shatters myth that bullying is a boy problem
While girls are often perceived as less aggressive, research shows they can be just as involved in bullying. By NUR ADNIN MAHALIM 16 Aug 2025 10:30am The tragic death of 13-year-old Zara Qairina Mahathir has upended the long-standing stereotype that extreme bullying is largely a male issue, bringing attention to the growing prevalence and severity of female-led aggression. Photo for illustrative purposes only - Canva SHAH ALAM – The tragic death of 13-year-old Zara Qairina Mahathir has upended the long-standing stereotype that extreme bullying is largely a male issue, bringing attention to the growing prevalence and severity of female-led aggression. While girls are often perceived as less aggressive, research shows they can be just as involved in bullying, particularly through relational aggression such as exclusion, public shaming and online harassment. Universiti Putra Malaysia, Faculty of Human Ecology, Department of Social and Development Sciences senior lecturer Dr Wan Munira Wan Jaafar said in Malaysia, shifting social dynamics and the influence of digital culture have blurred gender lines, with girls increasingly participating in both verbal and physical bullying. 'Feminist sociology points out that these behaviours are shaped by social expectations and power relations. 'When young girls feel the need to assert dominance, defend status or respond to peer pressure, they can adopt behaviours traditionally associated with male aggression. 'Ignoring the reality of female-led bullying risks leaving such cases underreported and unaddressed,' she told Sinar Daily. She added that Zara's case is a stark reminder that aggression is not defined by gender but by the environment that enables and normalises it. 'Effective bullying prevention must consider all genders and address contributing factors at home, in schools and across the wider community,' she added. Wan Munira highlighted the most effective way to curb bullying is to address it on multiple fronts, be it at home, in schools and within the wider community. Parents, she said, played a critical role by staying engaged in their children's lives and modelling empathy and respect. She said that schools must implement strong anti-bullying policies, while encouraging peer support programmes that promote kindness over cruelty. Wan Munira emphasised that the community and religious leaders could help rebuild social bonds by creating safe spaces where youth feel supported and accountable. 'From a psychological theory of social behavioural lens, Social Learning Theory reminds us that behaviour is often imitated, so adults must demonstrate the values they want children to adopt and Control Theory emphasises the importance of strong bonds and consistent consequences to deter harmful acts. 'Tackling bullying is not just about punishing offenders; it's about creating a culture, both online and offline, where respect is the social norm,' Munira said. Zara Qairina was reported to have fallen from the third floor of a religious school dormitory building in Papar on July 16, before being pronounced dead the following day at Queen Elizabeth I Hospital. Zara Qairina was found unconscious on July 16 after reportedly falling from the third floor of her religious school dormitory at Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Agama (SMKA) Datuk Mustapha in Papar, Sabah. She was pronounced dead the next day at Queen Elizabeth I Hospital (HQEI). Her death sparked widespread public outrage, particularly on social media, amid allegations that she had been a victim of bullying at the school. More Like This
Sinar Daily
02-08-2025
- General
- Sinar Daily
It starts at home: Raising children who don't become bullies
PARENTS and guardians naturally want to protect their children from harm, whether online or in real life. But in focusing solely on their safety, many overlook a difficult truth: what if their child is not the victim, but the bully? It's a scenario no parent wants to imagine, but it is vital to address. The best way to prevent bullying is to start early, before harmful behaviours take root. Experts believe that teaching empathy, promoting moral courage, and modelling respectful behaviour are crucial in raising children who don't become bullies. By encouraging open communication, celebrating kindness, and providing positive examples, parents can shape the attitudes and actions of their children in meaningful ways. According to University Putra Malaysia, Institute for Social Science Studies (IPSAS), Laboratory of Youth and Community Wellbeing, Head Laboratory, Dr Aini Azeqa Ma'rof, Malaysia's multicultural society offers valuable opportunities for teaching empathy. She stated that intercultural friendships, storytelling, and community involvement help reduce 'in-group' bias, one of the common contributors to bullying. Image for illustrative purposes only. - CANVA 'Teenagers are deeply influenced by peer norms. According to the Theory of Planned Behavior, behavior is shaped by perceived social norms, attitudes, and perceived control. 'To encourage 'upstander' behavior, adults need to promote group norms that reward kindness and moral courage,' she said when contacted recently. Dr Aini emphasised that parents can strengthen empathy by encouraging children to consider other people's feelings through daily conversations. Referring to Bandura's Social Learning Theory, she reminded that children learn by imitation, so when parents act with kindness and respect, children tend to follow. She also highlighted the role schools can play by implementing peer-led initiatives, mentorship schemes, and digital storytelling campaigns where teenagers share real-life stories of standing up to bullying. 'Parents, meanwhile, can reinforce this by celebrating acts of allyship and encouraging ethical reflection: 'What kind of friend or person do you want to be?'' she added. Dr Aini stressed that an emotionally supportive home environment is key. Two-way communication helps children develop emotional regulation and self-awareness, both of which reduce the likelihood of bullying behaviours. She added homes where children can express their emotions without fear of punishment are more likely to raise emotionally intelligent individuals who understand fairness, compassion, and the consequences of their actions. 'Social psychology tells us about the bystander effect where people are less likely to intervene when others are present. Teens may feel unsure or afraid of backlash. 'Parents can counter this by role-playing scenarios at home, affirming that doing something like reporting, checking on the victim, alerting a teacher is better than doing nothing,' she said. Dr Aini further advised that rather than framing intervention as a confrontation, parents should present it as a form of community care: 'You're helping someone feel safe and seen.' This reframing encourages teenagers to move from fear to action. CPC International, managing director and child psychologist expert, Dr Noor Aishah Rosli. In support of these views, CPC International, managing director and child psychologist expert, Dr Noor Aishah Rosli, added that empathy needs to be actively modelled by parents, not just taught. 'Since toddlerhood, teach them about emotion through videos or pictures. Also encourage perspective- taking, for example 'how would you feel if that happened to you?' 'It also helps to use role play to help the children understand certain emotions,' she told Sinar Daily recently. She also recommended that parents regularly praise positive behaviour, using affirmations like 'good job' or 'great' to encourage moral development. She stressed that teenagers are more likely to intervene in bullying situations when they feel supported and when moral courage is modelled at home through discussions of real-life events. Dr Aishah added that schools should implement clear bystander intervention programmes and teach students assertiveness strategies, which empower them to act when witnessing injustice. She also highlighted the importance of creating an emotionally safe home environment with open, warm, and non-judgemental communication. This helps children regulate their emotions and feel confident discussing difficult situations. She said parents should respond to concerns with validation and understanding. 'Emphasise that doing nothing may unintentionally support the bully and even small gesture,' she added. Building a more compassionate and respectful community starts at home. Raising children who do not become bullies begins with early, intentional efforts to model empathy, teach moral courage, and encourage open dialogue. As the saying goes, prevention is better than cure, so let us take the first step to ensure a safe and caring environment for all.
