Parents glued to phones risk raising aggressive, less empathetic kids, experts warn

Sinar Daily

2 days ago

SHAH ALAM – Constant parental distraction by phones and digital devices may be eroding children's ability to develop empathy, experts warn.
The lack of deep emotional engagement during early childhood, a crucial stage for learning compassion, could leave youngsters more self-focused and prone to aggression.
According to Dr Wan Munira Wan Jaafar, a senior lecturer at the Department of Social and Development Sciences, Faculty of Human Ecology, Universiti Putra Malaysia, many Malaysian parents today are caught in the grip of 'FOMO' (Fear of Missing Out), feeling the need to constantly check social media, and engage in 'phubbing'; the act of snubbing someone in favor of a phone.
'In sociological terms, Symbolic Interactionism explains how children develop meaning and social cues through face-to-face interaction; when these are replaced by distracted, partial attention, children miss opportunities to learn empathy and emotional reciprocity.
'Social Learning Theory further suggests that when parents model detachment and screen-preoccupation, children may normalise such behaviors and replicate them with peers,' she said when contacted recently.
Munira further warned that over time, this lack of deep emotional exchange at home can lead children to become more self-focused, less attuned to others' feelings, and in some cases, more prone to aggressive or bullying behavior.
She also pointed out the breakdown of traditional social bonds such as at home, in schools, and in communities do play a significant role in the rise of bullying among youth.
'In Malaysia's past, strong family ties, close teacher–student relationships, and the 'kampung spirit' of communal responsibility meant children were closely guided and corrected by multiple layers of authority and care,' she said.
She noted that today, urbanisation, busy dual-income households, and weaker neighborhood networks mean less adult presence and fewer opportunities for young people to develop empathy, respect, and conflict-resolution skills.
From a sociological standpoint, Munira explained that Social Disorganization Theory posits that when the institutions and social bonds that uphold order weaken, deviant behaviours such as bullying are more likely to emerge.
Similarly, Control Theory argues that strong bonds to family, school, and community act as a restraint on harmful behavior; when these bonds erode, youth may feel less accountable for their actions. The normalisation of bullying must end, particularly in boarding schools, where hazing and 'initiation' practices are sometimes dismissed as tradition. Photo: Canva
'Without these traditional support systems reinforcing pro-social values, aggressive behavior can flourish both online and offline,' she said.
Meanwhile, Manipal University College Malaysia Criminologist Nadiah Syariani Md Shariff highlighted that without proper guidance, children lack the ability to tell if the behaviours are good or not, therefore, if the imitated behaviours serve the child, these behaviours are most likely to remain and reinforce as they learn that it works or help them to get what they want.
Nadiah noted that violent media serves as modelling behaviours for children viewing, and many researches have found that frequent or repeated exposure to such content is likely to nurture aggression tendency within children by two-fold (can refer to Bobo-Doll Experiment about social learning in children).
'Children initially imitate the aggressive act from the media without knowing the possible impact of the action to them or others.
'If the act serves them, in most cases they do in making others comply, they learnt that would be the ideal response especially when conflict arises,' she told Sinar Daily.
Nadiah stressed that social media content is highly influential and unlike the past decade, youngsters nowadays are very much engaged in technology where most of their first-hand information is retrieved from the Internet.
She said that everything they learnt is mainly from the internet, therefore, if aggressive content such as bullying is repetitively appearing on their social media feed, this would desensitise youngsters to the act of bullying, and distort the perception of harm and consequences of bullying, making the act more readily adapted and imitated.
Nadiah also added that these toxic contents are easily and widely accessible online. Observing violent media is one, the dynamics of the online environment is another factor in escalating bullying tendency.
'For example, the algorithm in social media is tailored to personal preferences or previous view, further suggesting similar contents appearing repetitively, as if constantly 'feeding' the mind towards acceptance of pro-delinquent norms and values,' she said.
Online trends, she added, are meant to reach a wider audience, and it can also create a sense of attraction or competition which is further validated through likes, comments and shares.
Without much self-control or self-restraints, it becomes difficult for youngsters to resist the temptation or fear from missing out.
Nadiah emphasised that aggressive behaviour, including bullying, is learned through observation and imitation.
'Bullying behaviours are learned, whether online or offline. Learning at a young age is through the 'monkey see, monkey do' model and this usually takes place through observation of surroundings or during interaction with others, which is followed by imitation of the behaviours.
'These observed behaviours, whether good or bad, can be displayed or modelled by parents, peers, adults, or through media,' she said.