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Channel 4's Virgin Island pushes boundaries – but what is sex therapy?
Channel 4's Virgin Island pushes boundaries – but what is sex therapy?

Yahoo

time13-05-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Yahoo

Channel 4's Virgin Island pushes boundaries – but what is sex therapy?

Leave it to Channel 4 to broadcast a TV show that will get everyone talking — and Virgin Island is no different. The new sex therapy show follows 12 adult virgins as they embark on a two-week stay at a luxurious Mediterranean retreat. Across six episodes, they work with therapists Dr Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman, founders of US sex coaching centre Somatica Institute. Together with their team of specialists, Dr Harel and Hirschman aim to help participants confront and overcome their fears and challenges around intimacy. Their methods include a wide range of therapeutic techniques, from group sessions to more controversial practices such as surrogate partner therapy, where naked sex coaches may encourage participants to engage in physical touch and mutual pleasure as part of the process. The ultimate goal for each participant is to have had sex by the end of their stay. While some viewers have praised the show's boldness, others have criticised its methods, questioning the ethics and boundaries of the therapists' approaches. To better understand what sex therapy actually entails, Yahoo UK spoke with College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) accredited psychosexual and relationship therapist Miranda Christophers. Christophers explains that sex therapy is a talk therapy that covers a broad range of issues and concerns around sex and intimacy. "It can be around things like desire, arousal and sexual function in general," Christophers says. "So we would commonly be working with things like discrepancies in desire. In a relationship, for example, somebody might have lower or higher desire than their partner and that may be being problematic or their desire may not be what they want it to be." The therapist also sees clients who may be having issues with sexual function. This may be due to erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, as well as conditions like vaginismus, where the vaginal muscles involuntarily tighten, and dyspareunia, which is genital pain during or after sexual intercourse. Christophers also helps people understand their sexuality, which might include conversations around kinks, fetishes and preferences. She continues: "Some people might be working with things like deciding on their relationship styles or consensual monogamy may come into it. "They would also be working with things like changes around sex, in terms of like life changes. So it could be parenthood, menopause, illness and things like compulsive sexual behaviours." At The Therapy Yard, where Christophers is founder and clinical director, your first session starts with an assessment so that the therapist can have an understanding of your history and what it is that's bringing you to therapy. According to Christophers, people don't just attend sex therapy because they have an issue in their life — some clients simply want to enhance their sex life. "We go through the assessment, we would set some goals, and then we start to really work on whatever it is that somebody's looking to bring to therapy," she explains. Christophers use a variety of tools and programs to help provide clients with an understanding of how their bodies and desires work. They also explore what might be holding them back. She continues: "Generally speaking, you'd be given exercises, tools and things to go away and work on. A lot of sex therapists generally use a pluralistic approach, which means that we we draw on a number of different therapeutic models and approaches and tools in our work to really try and tailor it to each individual that we're working with." Some of the experts in Virgin Island refer to themselves as sex surrogates, which is someone who works with a client physically to help them with their issues surrounding sex and sexual intimacy. Surrogates guide clients through various exercises, such as relaxation, communication, and sensual and sexual contact, to help them build confidence and skills in intimacy. Christophers says this is something that is less common in the UK. "For registered and accredited sex therapists in the UK, sex therapy is a talking therapy. But it's worth nothing that in the UK, therapy is not a protected title in the same way people simply can't call themselves a doctor or a psychologist unless they actually are. "It's one of the reasons that there's quite a lot of work going on with professional bodies at the moment in terms of bringing in a streamlining in terms of training and qualifications." As per a press release from COSRT, psychosexual and relationship therapy is a specialised form of talking therapy that "never involves touch." It also states that no COSRT registered psychosexual and relationship therapist would be allowed to engage in physical activities with clients. COSRT's chair, Steve Johnson says: "Please let everyone be clear. Touch does not form any part of proper therapy to help with sexual or relationship issues. Boundaries and professional standards are vital so only use a therapist registered with a body such as COSRT. And if a psychotherapist or counsellor tries to touch you as part of therapy, walk away and report them." If you're wanting to look for a sex therapist, Christophers tells Yahoo UK that there are specific accreditations you should look out for: A postgraduate diploma in sex and relationship therapy (two-year specialised training) A level four casual psychotherapy training Potentially a master's degree or advanced diploma Key qualifications to look for include: Registration or accreditation with professional bodies like COSRT Ongoing professional development and continuing education "Therapy and generally, counselling, it's such a huge subject area. So really, if you're working specifically with things like sexual function, you really need to know what you're talking about and have had the specific training in it," she says. Read more about sex therapy: 13 Sex Tips From Actual Sex Therapists And Professionals That Just Might Spice Up Your (Sex) Life (Buzzfeed, 8-min read) Virgin Island stars defend sex therapists in controversial reality show (Yahoo Entertainment, 4-min read) Virgin Island: What is a 'surrogate partner' sex therapist and is it legal? (Independent, 3-min read)

Virgin Island stars defend using 'sex surrogates' for TV romps on This Morning after vicious backlash - but disgusted viewers are having none of it
Virgin Island stars defend using 'sex surrogates' for TV romps on This Morning after vicious backlash - but disgusted viewers are having none of it

Daily Mail​

time13-05-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Daily Mail​

Virgin Island stars defend using 'sex surrogates' for TV romps on This Morning after vicious backlash - but disgusted viewers are having none of it

Two stars of Channel 4 's new show defended the use of 'sex surrogates' on Tuesday's episode of This Morning. Jason, 25, and Taylor, 29, appeared on the iconic sofa to chat to Cat Deeley, 48, and Ben Shephard, 50, about their experience at the retreat. The two are part of the group of 12 virgins of the brand new show, which premiered on Monday night, who travelled to an Island in Croatia to explore their sexuality with help from co-founders of the Somatica Institute and the Somatica method Dr Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman. The first episode saw the contributors open up about their feelings and why they haven't been able to be intimate with anyone, and one star called Zac, 28, managed to get up close and personal with one of the sex surrogates called Kat. Ben admitted that he was fascinated with the surrogates and asked them to explain the dynamics. Jason explained: 'I didn't have a surrogate. But the surrogates, Kat and Andre, are there for the more hands on, the nitty gritty. The physicality of it. 'You'll definitely see what happens with that...' Ben asked: If you are prepared and confident enough to go forward with something more physical... they are there to enable you to do that?' Jason replied: 'Yes. They are there to guide you through it and help you do it.' Ben pointed out: 'And help you so you know what you're doing... you can feel safe, you can feel confident. 'That's an extraordinary job, isn't it?' Taylor explained: 'It's better than if you're in a situation where you're going home and going to have to do this with a stranger, they are in a place where they are able to guide you through it, keep you safe, keep you calm, take you in a really therapeutic place. 'It's not like hooking up with somebody on a night out. It's therapy. 'It's all about taking you through the steps of intimacy and getting you there.' Those watching at home couldn't believe the concept of the show. One said on X: 'Are people really that desperate to get on TV? #virginisland #thismorning.' 'Honestly, who commissions this stuff?! #thismorning.' 'Another f**kin reality show #thismorning.' It comes after sex therapists Danielle and Celeste defended the use of surrogates in an exclusive chat with MailOnline. During the programme, all of the 12 virgins achieve a level of intimacy with either a surrogate or a coach during the course. Celeste describes the relationship between the client and surrogate as 'authentic' and shared how the dynamic can reflect what would happen in a 'real relationships', including the possibility of 'performance problems' from either the surrogate or client. 'It is really an authentic relationship,' she explained. 'So one thing that can happen in a relationship is that someone has performance problems, and so they would just communicate about it and say, oh, you know, something's not working here. Let's take a break. Let's try again.' The sexologist added: 'That authenticity is what actually prepares people to have real relationships out in the world. 'So it's not just like trying to force something and a lot of times surrogates do work with people who have pretty significant dysfunctions, and so they need to work with those kinds of things, both in their clients and if it comes up in themselves as well.' There's a 'triadic relationship' between the client, surrogate and a separate therapist to help tackle issues, including if the client develops feelings. Celeste explained: 'They have the therapist built into the relationship, because if feelings become developed, the therapist is available to talk the client through whatever feelings that they have around it.' She added: 'The therapist is there to keep that the container and the boundaries.' Danielle expressed that on the show, the boundaries in the relationship were clear between the contributors and surrogates. 'They felt like, 'Okay, this is a therapeutic modality that's going to help me grow', and that's how it was set up for them,' the expert shared. 'So I don't feel there was even one moment that people got confused around.' The TV show has also enlisted two sex surrogate partners who will work alongside therapists to help the virgins and will take more of a physical approach than the therapists who are there to talk to the candidates about their emotions. The sex surrogates are prepared to have intercourse with those in treatment to help with problems that talking therapy cannot. However, while sex surrogacy is deemed controversial, the co-founders of the Somatica Institute, which specialises in sex and relationship coach training, have defended them - slamming intercourse on other shows as 'harmful and unrealistic'. Andre Lazarus, a certified intimacy, sex and relationship practitioner with more than a decade of experience, will appear as one of the surrogates on hand to help the virgins when the show airs on Monday evening. Kat Slade is the other 'sex surrogate' who will work alongside Andre to help the 12 virgins feel more comfortable with dusting off their sexual side. The certified surrogate partner and somatic practitioner got a Bachelor's degree from Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. NAME: EMMA AGE: 23 OCCUPATION: FOOD WORKER Emma said: 'I was the only virgin amongst my friendship group, I felt outnumbered. 'I believed I was the only human experiencing adult life without intimacy but I couldn't relax when there is the possibility of intimacy and I had to battle previous traumas. 'The fact that this concept was being brought to TV made me realise being over 21 and never having sex was not as rare as I thought it was.' NAME: BEN AGED: 30 Ben said: 'A friend sent me the casting call for Virgin Island on social media. I'm not sure if he knew I was a virgin, but he knew I'd struggled in this area. 'Funnily enough, my immediate response to his message was 'not a chance'.' NAME: DAVE AGE: 24 Dave said: 'An initial joke by some friends for some cheap laughs slowly became the opportunity of a lifetime. 'I have always struggled to open up to people but this led me to feel invisible - a feeling I couldn't take anymore. 'I felt like it couldn't continue and I wanted to do something drastic to get my life back on track. NAME: JASON AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: ADMIN WORKER Jason said: 'I always felt like a failure in terms of intimacy and socialness. 'I know the island was primarily for intimacy, but it had the amazing bonus of helping me improve my social skills – and for that, I will be forever grateful.' NAME: LOUISE AGE: 22 Louise said: 'I never really imagined applying for a show like Virgin Island but my friend sent me the application as a joke, and I thought, 'Why not?' 'I was at the point where I was willing to try anything. 'I had just accepted that there must've just been something wrong with me - I think the fact that my friends would see the word 'virgin' and think of me says enough to be honest.' NAME: CHARLOTTE AGE: 29 Charlotte said: 'Because I wanted to rid myself of my shame that I had surrounding my body, and my desire, and my ability to give myself pleasure. 'I wanted to be honest with myself so that I would not be hindered when having relationships in the future.' NAME: HOLLY AGE: 23 She said: 'I felt like I was at a point in my life where I was ready to experience being with someone, but I had a lot of anxiety and questions about myself that I felt I had to work through before taking that step. 'I was definitely nervous, not knowing what to expect, what the others were going to be like, whether I was actually going to get anything out of it.' NAME: PIA AGE: 23 Pia said: 'I applied for Virgin Island because of my struggles with vaginismus. 'I wanted to overcome the pain and anxiety I felt when exploring penetrative sex. 'Plus, I found intimacy incredibly overwhelming.' NAME: TAYLOR AGE: 29 Taylor said: 'I spent my whole adult life wondering why I found sexual things so difficult when others didn't. 'When I was a teenager, the risks of sex seemed to far outweigh the benefits, the only benefit anyone spoke of was babies, and I certainly wasn't ready for one of those. NAME: TOM AGE: 23 Tom said: 'I always found myself to be a freak because I struggled to lose my virginity whilst others around me continued to pop their cherries. 'It severely affected my mental health, filling me with self-loathing which in turn made me a worse person.' NAME: VIRAJ AGE: 25 Viraj said: 'I had a massive struggle to express myself in front of women. 'For me it wasn't about the intimacy stage but more with the confidence side of talking to women and making small talk. 'This whole idea was encouraged by my friends for me to get out of my comfort zone and go through with this.' NAME: Zac AGE: 23 Zac said: 'There was a man reporting that Channel 4 was looking for adult virgins to take part in an experimental TV show. This was of course describing me. 'At first I was like - no way, I'm not gonna do that, but I started to think about it more and more, and I realised that I wasn't really getting anywhere by myself, time was just passing me by with no real positive change.'

Virgin Island experts hit back as controversial Channel 4 show face complaints hours before launch night
Virgin Island experts hit back as controversial Channel 4 show face complaints hours before launch night

The Sun

time12-05-2025

  • Entertainment
  • The Sun

Virgin Island experts hit back as controversial Channel 4 show face complaints hours before launch night

CHANNEL 4's Virgin Island is more than just steamy romps and sex sessions, it's really about unpicking past traumas that have plagued 12 virgins for their whole life. Although the series feature some racy, nude and steamy moments, it also delves deep into the heart-warming stories from the 12 virgins opening up on camera for the first time. 8 8 8 The first episode, which airs tonight on E4, is worlds apart from any other dating show we've seen on TV. It takes 12 vulnerable individuals who are ready to bare their soul and get to the root cause of their life-long intimacy issues, all with the help of some very highly skilled sex experts. Viewers will be left shocked at one particular scene which introduces surrogates partner therapy, which is designed to help the virgins become more comfortable with sex, their body, and the emotional and physical skills they need for intimacy. Sexual surrogacy can be controversial but in an exclusive chat with The Sun, sexologists Dr Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman - who co-founded the Somatica Institute - have defended the technique. Kat Slade and Andre Lazarus are the two trained surrogate partners who are tasked with helping the group tackle their issues around intimacy. Danielle exclusively told The Sun: "We had a lot of confidence in the process, we've been doing it for such a long time and even if they waiver they get too curious to quit, there is something very powerful in saying I am committed to this, it's not always comfortable. While Celeste shared: "Sometimes people on these shows quit, but we were so proud nobody quit." "They got so much support, there is a team of therapists, there was a psychiatrist, there is a duty of care, they are so well taken care of," Danielle shared. Celeste continued: "I think there are always critics out there but I think at the same time so many people need this work, we want to spread it around the world." EXCL Watch the moment Virgin Island stars demonstrate raunchy intimate act - leaving one Islander breaking down in tears Despite the virgins not being in a romantic relationship with their surrogates, Celeste and and Danielle admitted intimacy shouldn't have limitations and can be learnt through a variety of ways. Danielle said: "We look at intimacy through this isolated experience, only with romantic partners, but there is so much you can learn around intimacy with people who are not your partners, with strangers. "They practise intimacy and show feelings and that's so profound. "The beauty that we saw is how they bonded as a team and learnt about each other with the tools, they learnt to be vulnerable, they learnt to share feelings, they became such a beautiful co-hort." Celeste added: "There are some nice flirtations there among the group that you will see." Celeste and Danielle will be on hand to help the group of 12 lose their virginity on-camera. It comes after a new Channel 4 survey shows that young people are waiting longer than ever to lose their virginity. More than 36 per cent of young people (16-24) are virgin, with almost one in five 19 per cent of 16–30-year-olds are virgins. Reasons cited for not losing virginity include lack of self-esteem, living with parents and mental health struggles. With the rise of young adult virgins, the experts are hoping the show will be commissioned for a second series to help more people. Danielle said: 'I started actually as a talk therapist, and I got my Masters in clinical social work. 'But for me, with ­talking therapy, you just keep talking, and people don't really shift. 'I just realised how much power and empowerment and doing experiential work and learning through semantics in the field of intimacy is the way to go." Celeste added: 'My Masters was in human sexuality studies, then I did some research on adolescents sexuality development and oral sex. 'When Danielle and I met for the show, we were like, 'Let's not do this the same old way'. We really need to bring in experiential work, because people try something, and once you try something it's much ­easier to go out and try it again.' Filmed on a private island in Croatia, the virgins were cut off from the outside world, with no phones. They were stripped back and given basic outfits on the day of their arrival, in a bid "remove competition" and create "equality". CONSENT IS KEY 8 8 In a world where safeguarding contestants is more important than ever, bosses have ensured duty of care is at the forefront. The onus is very much on ensuring the virgins have the power to say yes or no and being able to consent or withdraw when they want. Virgin Island producer Robert Davis said: "We really wanted to make a documentary with young people and their relationship with sex and intimacy. "We didn't want to do it in the conventional sense, we wanted to do create an immersive experience with other people involved." While Channel 4 executive Jonah Weston added: "The first thing to say is how many people applied for the show, there were hundreds and backed up our hunch that we were onto something amazing. "But obviously duty of care is so important to us at Channel 4, there was a question of brilliant casting team, psychologist really working with those people to obviously get the right mix of people that felt representative of what was going on in Britain. "But also getting people that we felt were able to go through this process because how courageous those people were to go on that course to undertake that, let alone doing it on TV. "It was really important to us to ensure they were fully briefed in exactly what was going to happen and they were prepared for those emotions that might come up and they were ready and strong enough to tackle that journey. "It's hugely challenging for them because that's the process and that's the work. "But at the end you'll see a moment, after 30 years in TV, that was one of the most heartwarming moments I'd ever seen, there was not a dry eye on set, it was absolutely incredible. "It really vindicated everything in designing this absolutely brilliant course and this space that these 12 people felt challenged but ultimately safe and looked after and really be able to let themselves go and really say for the first time what they were thinking and feeling. "They were always the people driving this exercise." Robert insisted: "Consent was key, they were always in control, they could take it as far as they wanted to or not - that was paramount." NOT YOUR AVERAGE REALITY SHOW 8 8 You may think you've seen every dating reality show possible, but Virgin Island breaks the mould. It comes after a new Channel 4 survey shows that young people are waiting longer than ever to lose their virginity. More than 36 per cent of young people (16-24) are virgin, with almost one in five 19 per cent of 16–30-year-olds are virgins. Reasons cited for not losing virginity include lack of self-esteem, living with parents and mental health struggles. Each contestant has an emotional story that is sensitively explored through a group of highly skilled experts. In one scene, 23-year-old food worker Emma is left in floods of tears as she watches them demonstrate some intimate acts. In the clip, leading expert Danielle demonstrates the "against the wall" technique that gets hearts racing and eyes fluttering. She tells the virgins that she hopes during the experiment they will be able to reach a position where they can partake in such acts. Emma has a deeper reaction as she begins to sob whilst sat on the floor and watching Danielle take part in the racy demonstration. Along with intimacy coaching and taking sessions, the virgins are also helped by professional sex surrogates. C4 exec Jonah said: 'That whole surrogacy process is about working out how you can be with a human being in the real world rather than just objectifying somebody on the internet. 'It's just bringing it away from that online world, getting them in a place where they can be with each other and deal with ­people on an old- fashioned human basis.' Robert continued: 'It's a TV first, and nobody really knows what's going to go on. Our biggest worry was how are they going to take to the therapy? Would they accept it? 'And was it going to be a success or were they going to run away? 'And what we got was a little bit of scepticism at first. Gradually as the process went on they fell more and more in love with the therapy and it ends up being transformational." Discussing how the experts put the contestants at ease during the surrogate process, Danielle added: 'I think they wanted to lose their virginity! They came in very excited about that and were looking forward to the experience. 'So they're scared, but also wanting to get there. "Everything is done very gradually and each individual process. "It was really important to have surrogates, who are highly trained professionals. 'It was great for them to have this option.' Viewers will get to watch some of the contestants struggle with basic touch - with one even swerving a hug in favour of a handshake. Although popping their cherries were the end goal, it wasn't the only goal, as Jonah explained: "Success took many different forms, there were different wins for different people." Danielle added: 'It wasn't just that they were coming here to lose their virginity. 'Success took many forms. And there were different wins for different people. 'They all left with an absolute spring in their step.' Virgin Island airs tonight on Channel 4 at 9pm. 8

EXCLUSIVE Revealed: The 'sex surrogates' who will make love to virgins on camera: Polyamorous ex-marine and a choreographer offer their very unique services in Channel 4 show's controversial Virgin Island show
EXCLUSIVE Revealed: The 'sex surrogates' who will make love to virgins on camera: Polyamorous ex-marine and a choreographer offer their very unique services in Channel 4 show's controversial Virgin Island show

Daily Mail​

time12-05-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Daily Mail​

EXCLUSIVE Revealed: The 'sex surrogates' who will make love to virgins on camera: Polyamorous ex-marine and a choreographer offer their very unique services in Channel 4 show's controversial Virgin Island show

The sex surrogates will help reality show contestants to lose their virginity on camera in a controversial new Channel 4 show have been revealed as a polyamorous relationship coach and a female choreographer who is also a reiki practitioner. Virgin Island, Channel 4 's six-part series, will see 12 individuals who have never had sex before travel to Croatia with the aim of losing their virginity on camera. The first-timers, who are all aged between 22 and 30 years old, will work with a range of sex and relationship coaches, sexologists, 'bodyworkers' and even tantric masseurs to help them overcome their fears of intimacy. The TV show has also enlisted two sex surrogate partners who will work alongside therapists to help the virgins and will take more of a physical approach than the therapists who are there to talk to the candidates about their emotions. The sex surrogates are prepared to have intercourse with those in treatment to help with problems that talking therapy cannot. However, while sex surrogacy is deemed controversial, the co-founders of the Somatica Institute, which specialises in sex and relationship coach training, have defended them - slamming intercourse on other shows as 'harmful and unrealistic'. Celeste Hirschman, who has a Master's degree in human sexuality studies, said she felt it would be more helpful if a 'more realistic' perception was put out in the media. Andre Lazarus, a certified intimacy, sex and relationship practitioner with more than a decade of experience, will appear as one of the surrogates on hand to help the virgins when the show airs on Monday evening. Andre, who is based in San Francisco, had a traumatic introduction to sex when he was raped at 18 years old. 'Growing up, I experienced sex differently from my friends, community, and the societal messaging that teaches us there are set rules and restrictions to sex, intimacy, and relationships,' he candidly wrote on his website, Coming Closer with Andre Lazarus. 'At 18 years old, I had the unfortunate journey of my first sexual experience being traumatic. I was raped. 'Little did I know how impactful that trauma would be in shaping my life and the person I would become in this world for the better.' After distressing ordeal, Andre said he felt a calling to start healing work and says his passion lies with 'serving others'. The US citizen spent his younger years serving as a Marine Corps Officer. During this time, he married his 'first true love' but shortly realised that did not want be loyal to just one person for the rest of his life. Instead, Andre felt as though monogamy was 'something expected by society and not my heart.' The pair then divorced, with the sex expert feeling like a 'failure as a husband' while simultaneously feeling as though there was a 'big shift growing inside of me'. Andre then relocated to San Francisco and found a new partner who is more understanding of his non-monogamous lifestyle and the pair have been together for more than 10 years. 'With her support, I learned that I had a powerful gift to connect with people in a sexual space, helping to open up sexual desires, removing shame around sexual exploration, and healing old wounds around abuse and sexual trauma,' he said on his website. Andre described feeling freer since starting his journey in the sex surrogate and relationship coaching industry which led to him discovering that he is multisexual. Multisexuality is a term used to describe individuals who are attracted to multiple genders. 'While it took me many years to realise my sexuality, the moment I did, I was able to fully embrace my power,' he added. After his path of self-discovery, Andre says he has become someone who 'loves with sexual energy, other beings and love itself'. Andre believes that one of the biggest misconceptions that people have about adult virginity is that it is a 'fixed statement' or 'something you lose'. He said: 'Virginity, at any stage of life, isn't a pathology, it's just a part of someone's lived experience. People find intimacy at different paces and stages of life, and it is ultimately a choice someone is making to be a virgin. 'Some are waiting for the right connection, some have had traumatic experiences, and some just haven't had access to safe and affirming spaces. 'None of that makes them any less whole, attractive, or capable of love and pleasure. Virginity isn't a problem to solve, it's just one chapter in an evolving story.' An estimated one in eight 26-year-olds are still virgin which is a whopping increase from one in 20 in previous generations, according to a study by University College London. During the show, all of the 12 virgins achieve a level of intimacy with either a surrogate or a coach during the course. Celeste Hirschman and Dr Danielle Harel, co-founders of the Somatica Institute hinted that this show will differ from other shows that show sex on TV and be more candid rather than staged. When asked if she felt there was too much sex on air, Celeste Hirschman told MailOnline: 'I don't know if there's too much, but the quality of sex on television is abysmal. 'It's like three kisses up against the wall, pulling off the pants, sticking it in, and then it's over.' 'So I feel like if they portrayed sex that was more realistic, more connected, more at a pace that is like what people actually do, then it might be a boon to have that much sex on television,' Celeste explained. 'But if it's just this crap sex, then, yeah, I think it's it's not helpful at all. In fact, it's quite harmful. It creates expectations that are ridiculous.' Danielle agreed, adding: 'And if you ask me, what's better to see so much violence on TV or sex, I'll choose sex any minute, especially if it's shown in a much more realistic and connected way.' Andre said that one of the biggest sex myths is that sexual experiences always have to end in orgasm for it to be 'successful'. Andre added: 'We've been sold this fantasy where two people spontaneously combust with desire and it's all fireworks and instant chemistry. 'In real life, good sex takes communication, curiosity, and practice and removing the pressure of having to "get there". 'Why get there when the journey can be long, delicious and so much more pleasure than any orgasm could muster. Sex is a skill, a dance, like speaking a language…it's not something we are just good at or need to rush.' Kat Slade is the other 'sex surrogate' who will work alongside Andre to help the 12 virgins feel more comfortable with dusting off their sexual side. The certified surrogate partner and somatic practitioner got a Bachelor's degree from Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. The public liberal arts and sciences college allows its students to choose the subjects that are 'most compelling' to them without being 'limited by traditional majors or minors', along with putting each student on their own pathways. Kat also achieved a Master of Arts degree from New York University at its Gallatin School of Individualised Study, which offers 'flexible degree requirements' and allows students to create their own programme of study. The surrogate decided to take up somatic dance, which can be described as 'dancing from the inside out' and focuses on the internal experience of the body rather than what the movement appears like on the outside. Kat - who is also a certified reiki practitioner - says she particularly loves working with clients who have 'limited sexual and relational experiences and with survivors of sexual trauma'. She believes that she can help provide a 'safe and supportive' environment to help those explore their sexuality for the first time, along with learning about the body. 'This therapy can help people navigate their first sexual experiences with guidance, understanding and care,' she wrote on her website. Kat - who is certified on the American Board of Sexology and is trained in choreography and creative art therapy - said surrogate therapy can assist those suffering from trauma from past sexual experiences as it helps them rebuild their sense of safety and 'reclaim their bodies'. VIRGIN ISLAND: MEET THE CAST! NAME: EMMA AGE: 23 OCCUPATION: FOOD WORKER Emma said: 'I was the only virgin amongst my friendship group, I felt outnumbered. 'I believed I was the only human experiencing adult life without intimacy but I couldn't relax when there is the possibility of intimacy and I had to battle previous traumas. 'The fact that this concept was being brought to TV made me realise being over 21 and never having sex was not as rare as I thought it was.' NAME: BEN AGED: 30 Ben said: 'A friend sent me the casting call for Virgin Island on social media. I'm not sure if he knew I was a virgin, but he knew I'd struggled in this area. 'Funnily enough, my immediate response to his message was 'not a chance'.' NAME: DAVE AGE: 24 Dave said: 'An initial joke by some friends for some cheap laughs slowly became the opportunity of a lifetime. 'I have always struggled to open up to people but this led me to feel invisible - a feeling I couldn't take anymore. 'I felt like it couldn't continue and I wanted to do something drastic to get my life back on track. NAME: JASON AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: ADMIN WORKER Jason said: 'I always felt like a failure in terms of intimacy and socialness. 'I know the island was primarily for intimacy, but it had the amazing bonus of helping me improve my social skills – and for that, I will be forever grateful.' NAME: LOUISE AGE: 22 OCCUPATION: CARE ADVISOR Louise said: 'I never really imagined applying for a show like Virgin Island but my friend sent me the application as a joke, and I thought, 'Why not?' 'I was at the point where I was willing to try anything. 'I had just accepted that there must've just been something wrong with me - I think the fact that my friends would see the word 'virgin' and think of me says enough to be honest.' NAME: CHARLOTTE AGE: 29 Charlotte said: 'Because I wanted to rid myself of my shame that I had surrounding my body, and my desire, and my ability to give myself pleasure. 'I wanted to be honest with myself so that I would not be hindered when having relationships in the future.' NAME: HOLLY AGE: 23 OCCUPATION: DOG GROOMER She said: 'I felt like I was at a point in my life where I was ready to experience being with someone, but I had a lot of anxiety and questions about myself that I felt I had to work through before taking that step. 'I was definitely nervous, not knowing what to expect, what the others were going to be like, whether I was actually going to get anything out of it.' NAME: PIA AGE: 23 Pia said: 'I applied for Virgin Island because of my struggles with vaginismus. 'I wanted to overcome the pain and anxiety I felt when exploring penetrative sex. 'Plus, I found intimacy incredibly overwhelming.' NAME: TAYLOR AGE: 29 Taylor said: 'I spent my whole adult life wondering why I found sexual things so difficult when others didn't. 'When I was a teenager, the risks of sex seemed to far outweigh the benefits, the only benefit anyone spoke of was babies, and I certainly wasn't ready for one of those. NAME: TOM AGE: 23 Tom said: 'I always found myself to be a freak because I struggled to lose my virginity whilst others around me continued to pop their cherries. 'It severely affected my mental health, filling me with self-loathing which in turn made me a worse person.' NAME: VIRAJ AGE: 25 Viraj said: 'I had a massive struggle to express myself in front of women. 'For me it wasn't about the intimacy stage but more with the confidence side of talking to women and making small talk. 'This whole idea was encouraged by my friends for me to get out of my comfort zone and go through with this.' NAME: Zac AGE: 23 Zac said: 'There was a man reporting that Channel 4 was looking for adult virgins to take part in an experimental TV show. This was of course describing me. 'At first I was like - no way, I'm not gonna do that, but I started to think about it more and more, and I realised that I wasn't really getting anywhere by myself, time was just passing me by with no real positive change.' 'Surrogate partner therapy can provide a compassionate and individualised approach to help survivors heal and rediscover pleasure and connection,' she added. However, Kat draws the line at working with couples and says she will help coach them but will not partake as a part of the 'surrogate partner therapy process'. She first became interested in becoming a sex surrogate after she experienced somatic and relational work firsthand, which led to a 'life-changing transformation'. She told Channel 4: 'One of the biggest misconceptions is that adult virginity is rare, leading many to feel isolated and ashamed. In reality, it's more common than people think. 'Many individuals may start their sexual experiences later in life and still go on to have rich and fulfilling sex lives.' She also believes that it is a 'myth' that sex should flow perfectly without any communication and says that honest talks with your partner are 'essential' to have an enjoyable experience. Celeste describes the relationship between the client and surrogate as 'authentic'. 'It is really an authentic relationship,' she explained. 'So one thing that can happen in a relationship is that someone has performance problems, and so they would just communicate about it and say, oh, you know, something's not working here. Let's take a break. Let's try again.' There's a 'triadic relationship' between the client, surrogate and a separate therapist to help tackle issues, including if the client develops feelings. Celeste explained: 'They have the therapist built into the relationship, because if feelings become developed, the therapist is available to talk the client through whatever feelings that they have around it.' She added: 'The therapist is there to keep that the container and the boundaries.' Danielle expressed that on the show, the boundaries in the relationship were clear between the contributors and surrogates.

Virgin Island stars hit back as surrogates who help 12 adults have sex for the first time are slammed in reality show
Virgin Island stars hit back as surrogates who help 12 adults have sex for the first time are slammed in reality show

Scottish Sun

time10-05-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Scottish Sun

Virgin Island stars hit back as surrogates who help 12 adults have sex for the first time are slammed in reality show

THE STARS of Virgin Island have hit back as surrogates who helped 12 adults have sex for the first time were slammed. The Channel 4 reality show follows 12 adult virgins as they embarked on a unique journey of self discovery. 8 The new Channel 4 series Virgin Island takes a group of adults on a journey of-self discovery Credit: Channel 4 8 Surrogates are on hand to help the contestants overcome emotional hurdles Credit: Channel 4 8 Sex & Relationship Coach Celeste Hirschman has defended the show for it's approach Credit: C4 On the new show Virgin Island, the group - who are all aged between 22 and 30-years-old - travel to a luxury island in the Mediterranean to learn more about intimacy. All the contributors will be tested in ways that they never have been before as they see if they can overcome the emotional fears that hold them back. A range of approaches will be used on screen, which will include both group sessions as well as surrogate partner therapy. The latter technique involves a certified surrogate partner who will help one of the contestants in cultivating meaningful connections in a supportive and safe environment. Meanwhile, Sexologists Dr Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman - who co-founded the Somatica Institute - are also on hand to help the group of 12 lose their virginity on-camera. The duo are the leading faces of the programme and they insisted that the show will help to change perceptions of how sex is shown on TV, Celeste told Mail Online: "I don't know if there's too much, but the quality of sex on television is abysmal. "It's like three kisses up against the wall, pulling off the pants, sticking it in, and then it's over.' She wants to help create a 'more realistic' perception of intimacy that hasn't been shown on-screen. The expert continued: "So I feel like if they portrayed sex that was more realistic, more connected, more at a pace that is like what people actually do, then it might be a boon to have that much sex on television,' Celeste explained. EXCL Watch the moment Virgin Island stars demonstrate raunchy intimate act - leaving one Islander breaking down in tears "But if it's just this c*** sex, then, yeah, I think it's it's not helpful at all. In fact, it's quite harmful. It creates expectations that are ridiculous." Her co-star Dr Danielle was in agreement as she explained: "If you ask me, what's better to see so much violence on TV or sex, I'll choose sex any minute, especially if it's shown in a much more realistic and connected way." Kat Slade and Andre Lazarus are the two trained surrogate partners who are tasked with helping the group tackle their issues around intimacy. Celeste described the relationship between the pairing with the contestants as 'authentic' as she explained that it is a reflection on what would happen with real relationships. The quality of sex on television is abysmal. Sexologist, Celeste Hirschman She said: "It is really an authentic relationship, so one thing that can happen in a relationship is that someone has performance problems, and so they would just communicate about it and say, 'oh, you know, something's not working here. Let's take a break. Let's try again.' "That authenticity is what actually prepares people to have real relationships out in the world." She continued: "So it's not just like trying to force something and a lot of times surrogates do work with people who have pretty significant dysfunctions, and so they need to work with those kinds of things, both in their clients and if it comes up in themselves as well. "There's a 'triadic' relationship between the client, surrogate and a separate therapist to help tackle issues, including if the client develops feelings. Adding: "They have the therapist built into the relationship, because if feelings become developed, the therapist is available to talk the client through whatever feelings that they have around it. "The therapist is there to keep that the container and the boundaries." 8 Dr Danielle Harel also leads the show as she defended the purpose of the show Credit: C4 8 The experts insist they want to improve the perception of sex on-screen through the series Credit: C4 8 12 contestants aged between 22 and 30-years-old aim to loose their virginity on camera Credit: C4 8 Surrogate Partner Therapist Andre Lazarus is one half of a duo to help the contributors through the process Credit: C4 8 Kat Slade is the other expert to assist the process Credit: C4 Virgin Island will premiere on Channel 4 on the 12th May at 9pm.

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