EXCLUSIVE Revealed: The 'sex surrogates' who will make love to virgins on camera: Polyamorous ex-marine and a choreographer offer their very unique services in Channel 4 show's controversial Virgin Island show

Daily Mail​

12-05-2025

The sex surrogates will help reality show contestants to lose their virginity on camera in a controversial new Channel 4 show have been revealed as a polyamorous relationship coach and a female choreographer who is also a reiki practitioner.
Virgin Island, Channel 4 's six-part series, will see 12 individuals who have never had sex before travel to Croatia with the aim of losing their virginity on camera.
The first-timers, who are all aged between 22 and 30 years old, will work with a range of sex and relationship coaches, sexologists, 'bodyworkers' and even tantric masseurs to help them overcome their fears of intimacy.
The TV show has also enlisted two sex surrogate partners who will work alongside therapists to help the virgins and will take more of a physical approach than the therapists who are there to talk to the candidates about their emotions.
The sex surrogates are prepared to have intercourse with those in treatment to help with problems that talking therapy cannot.
However, while sex surrogacy is deemed controversial, the co-founders of the Somatica Institute, which specialises in sex and relationship coach training, have defended them - slamming intercourse on other shows as 'harmful and unrealistic'.
Celeste Hirschman, who has a Master's degree in human sexuality studies, said she felt it would be more helpful if a 'more realistic' perception was put out in the media.
Andre Lazarus, a certified intimacy, sex and relationship practitioner with more than a decade of experience, will appear as one of the surrogates on hand to help the virgins when the show airs on Monday evening.
Andre, who is based in San Francisco, had a traumatic introduction to sex when he was raped at 18 years old.
'Growing up, I experienced sex differently from my friends, community, and the societal messaging that teaches us there are set rules and restrictions to sex, intimacy, and relationships,' he candidly wrote on his website, Coming Closer with Andre Lazarus.
'At 18 years old, I had the unfortunate journey of my first sexual experience being traumatic. I was raped.
'Little did I know how impactful that trauma would be in shaping my life and the person I would become in this world for the better.'
After distressing ordeal, Andre said he felt a calling to start healing work and says his passion lies with 'serving others'.
The US citizen spent his younger years serving as a Marine Corps Officer. During this time, he married his 'first true love' but shortly realised that did not want be loyal to just one person for the rest of his life.
Instead, Andre felt as though monogamy was 'something expected by society and not my heart.'
The pair then divorced, with the sex expert feeling like a 'failure as a husband' while simultaneously feeling as though there was a 'big shift growing inside of me'.
Andre then relocated to San Francisco and found a new partner who is more understanding of his non-monogamous lifestyle and the pair have been together for more than 10 years.
'With her support, I learned that I had a powerful gift to connect with people in a sexual space, helping to open up sexual desires, removing shame around sexual exploration, and healing old wounds around abuse and sexual trauma,' he said on his website.
Andre described feeling freer since starting his journey in the sex surrogate and relationship coaching industry which led to him discovering that he is multisexual.
Multisexuality is a term used to describe individuals who are attracted to multiple genders.
'While it took me many years to realise my sexuality, the moment I did, I was able to fully embrace my power,' he added.
After his path of self-discovery, Andre says he has become someone who 'loves with sexual energy, other beings and love itself'.
Andre believes that one of the biggest misconceptions that people have about adult virginity is that it is a 'fixed statement' or 'something you lose'.
He said: 'Virginity, at any stage of life, isn't a pathology, it's just a part of someone's lived experience. People find intimacy at different paces and stages of life, and it is ultimately a choice someone is making to be a virgin.
'Some are waiting for the right connection, some have had traumatic experiences, and some just haven't had access to safe and affirming spaces.
'None of that makes them any less whole, attractive, or capable of love and pleasure. Virginity isn't a problem to solve, it's just one chapter in an evolving story.'
An estimated one in eight 26-year-olds are still virgin which is a whopping increase from one in 20 in previous generations, according to a study by University College London.
During the show, all of the 12 virgins achieve a level of intimacy with either a surrogate or a coach during the course.
Celeste Hirschman and Dr Danielle Harel, co-founders of the Somatica Institute hinted that this show will differ from other shows that show sex on TV and be more candid rather than staged.
When asked if she felt there was too much sex on air, Celeste Hirschman told MailOnline: 'I don't know if there's too much, but the quality of sex on television is abysmal.
'It's like three kisses up against the wall, pulling off the pants, sticking it in, and then it's over.'
'So I feel like if they portrayed sex that was more realistic, more connected, more at a pace that is like what people actually do, then it might be a boon to have that much sex on television,' Celeste explained.
'But if it's just this crap sex, then, yeah, I think it's it's not helpful at all. In fact, it's quite harmful. It creates expectations that are ridiculous.'
Danielle agreed, adding: 'And if you ask me, what's better to see so much violence on TV or sex, I'll choose sex any minute, especially if it's shown in a much more realistic and connected way.'
Andre said that one of the biggest sex myths is that sexual experiences always have to end in orgasm for it to be 'successful'.
Andre added: 'We've been sold this fantasy where two people spontaneously combust with desire and it's all fireworks and instant chemistry.
'In real life, good sex takes communication, curiosity, and practice and removing the pressure of having to "get there".
'Why get there when the journey can be long, delicious and so much more pleasure than any orgasm could muster. Sex is a skill, a dance, like speaking a language…it's not something we are just good at or need to rush.'
Kat Slade is the other 'sex surrogate' who will work alongside Andre to help the 12 virgins feel more comfortable with dusting off their sexual side.
The certified surrogate partner and somatic practitioner got a Bachelor's degree from Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington.
The public liberal arts and sciences college allows its students to choose the subjects that are 'most compelling' to them without being 'limited by traditional majors or minors', along with putting each student on their own pathways.
Kat also achieved a Master of Arts degree from New York University at its Gallatin School of Individualised Study, which offers 'flexible degree requirements' and allows students to create their own programme of study.
The surrogate decided to take up somatic dance, which can be described as 'dancing from the inside out' and focuses on the internal experience of the body rather than what the movement appears like on the outside.
Kat - who is also a certified reiki practitioner - says she particularly loves working with clients who have 'limited sexual and relational experiences and with survivors of sexual trauma'.
She believes that she can help provide a 'safe and supportive' environment to help those explore their sexuality for the first time, along with learning about the body.
'This therapy can help people navigate their first sexual experiences with guidance, understanding and care,' she wrote on her website.
Kat - who is certified on the American Board of Sexology and is trained in choreography and creative art therapy - said surrogate therapy can assist those suffering from trauma from past sexual experiences as it helps them rebuild their sense of safety and 'reclaim their bodies'.
VIRGIN ISLAND: MEET THE CAST!
NAME: EMMA
AGE: 23
OCCUPATION: FOOD WORKER
Emma said: 'I was the only virgin amongst my friendship group, I felt outnumbered.
'I believed I was the only human experiencing adult life without intimacy but I couldn't relax when there is the possibility of intimacy and I had to battle previous traumas.
'The fact that this concept was being brought to TV made me realise being over 21 and never having sex was not as rare as I thought it was.'
NAME: BEN
AGED: 30
Ben said: 'A friend sent me the casting call for Virgin Island on social media. I'm not sure if he knew I was a virgin, but he knew I'd struggled in this area.
'Funnily enough, my immediate response to his message was 'not a chance'.'
NAME: DAVE
AGE: 24
Dave said: 'An initial joke by some friends for some cheap laughs slowly became the opportunity of a lifetime.
'I have always struggled to open up to people but this led me to feel invisible - a feeling I couldn't take anymore.
'I felt like it couldn't continue and I wanted to do something drastic to get my life back on track.
NAME: JASON
AGE: 25
OCCUPATION: ADMIN WORKER
Jason said: 'I always felt like a failure in terms of intimacy and socialness.
'I know the island was primarily for intimacy, but it had
the amazing bonus of helping me improve my social skills – and for that, I will be forever grateful.'
NAME: LOUISE
AGE: 22
OCCUPATION: CARE ADVISOR
Louise said: 'I never really imagined applying for a show like Virgin Island but my friend sent me the application as a joke, and I thought, 'Why not?'
'I was at the point where I was willing to try anything.
'I had just accepted that there must've just been something wrong with me - I think the fact that my friends would see the word 'virgin' and think of me says enough to be honest.'
NAME: CHARLOTTE
AGE: 29
Charlotte said: 'Because I wanted to rid myself of my shame that I had surrounding my body, and my desire, and my ability to give myself pleasure.
'I wanted to be honest with myself so that I would not be hindered when having relationships in the future.'
NAME: HOLLY
AGE: 23
OCCUPATION: DOG GROOMER
She said: 'I felt like I was at a point in my life where I was ready to experience being with someone, but I had a lot of anxiety and questions about myself that I felt I had to work through before taking that step.
'I was definitely nervous, not knowing what to expect, what the others were going to be like, whether I was actually going to get anything out of it.'
NAME: PIA
AGE: 23
Pia said: 'I applied for Virgin Island because of my struggles with vaginismus.
'I wanted to overcome the pain and anxiety I felt when exploring penetrative sex.
'Plus, I found intimacy incredibly overwhelming.'
NAME: TAYLOR
AGE: 29
Taylor said: 'I spent my whole adult life wondering why I found sexual things so difficult when others didn't.
'When I was a teenager, the risks of sex seemed to far outweigh the benefits, the only benefit anyone spoke of was babies, and I certainly wasn't ready for one of those.
NAME: TOM
AGE: 23
Tom said: 'I always found myself to be a freak because I struggled to lose my virginity whilst others around me continued to pop their cherries.
'It severely affected my mental health, filling me with self-loathing which in turn made me a worse person.'
NAME: VIRAJ
AGE: 25
Viraj said: 'I had a massive struggle to express myself in front of women.
'For me it wasn't about the intimacy stage but more with the confidence side of talking to women and making small talk.
'This whole idea was encouraged by my friends for me to get out of my comfort zone and go through with this.'
NAME: Zac
AGE: 23
Zac said: 'There was a man reporting that Channel 4 was looking for adult virgins to take part in an experimental TV show. This was of course describing me.
'At first I was like - no way, I'm not gonna do that, but I started to think about it more and more, and I realised that I wasn't really getting anywhere by myself, time was just passing me by with no real positive change.'
'Surrogate partner therapy can provide a compassionate and individualised approach to help survivors heal and rediscover pleasure and connection,' she added.
However, Kat draws the line at working with couples and says she will help coach them but will not partake as a part of the 'surrogate partner therapy process'.
She first became interested in becoming a sex surrogate after she experienced somatic and relational work firsthand, which led to a 'life-changing transformation'.
She told Channel 4: 'One of the biggest misconceptions is that adult virginity is rare, leading many to feel isolated and ashamed. In reality, it's more common than people think.
'Many individuals may start their sexual experiences later in life and still go on to have rich and fulfilling sex lives.'
She also believes that it is a 'myth' that sex should flow perfectly without any communication and says that honest talks with your partner are 'essential' to have an enjoyable experience.
Celeste describes the relationship between the client and surrogate as 'authentic'.
'It is really an authentic relationship,' she explained. 'So one thing that can happen in a relationship is that someone has performance problems, and so they would just communicate about it and say, oh, you know, something's not working here. Let's take a break. Let's try again.'
There's a 'triadic relationship' between the client, surrogate and a separate therapist to help tackle issues, including if the client develops feelings.
Celeste explained: 'They have the therapist built into the relationship, because if feelings become developed, the therapist is available to talk the client through whatever feelings that they have around it.'
She added: 'The therapist is there to keep that the container and the boundaries.'
Danielle expressed that on the show, the boundaries in the relationship were clear between the contributors and surrogates.