20-05-2025
St. Paul Saints tempt fans with "Plain Night" after John Oliver taunts: "It's going to be meh"
Earlier this month, "Last Week Tonight" host John Oliver chided the St. Paul Saints, the Minnesota Twins' Triple-A affiliate team, for having a plain name in comparison to fellow minor leaguers like the Rocket City Trash Pandas or the Eugene Exploding Whales.
Oliver then pledged to treat one International League team to a "total rebrand," including a new name and mascot. The Saints were game, even though their home games are beloved for being rollicking, silly, pig-friendly fiestas. But the team's hopes were dashed when the winner was unveiled on Sunday's show: the Erie SeaWolves.
The Saints didn't get mad, though — they got promotional. The team says Thursday night's home game against the Norfolk Tides at St. Paul's CHS Field is dubbed "Plain Night," promising, "it's going to be meh."
The first 1,000 fans will receive a sheet of plain, white paper, and instead of the traditional peanut toss during the seventh inning stretch, white bread will be lobbed at attendees. But that's not all.
"If you're looking for some great dessert, look somewhere else because the concession stands will serve nothing but vanilla ice cream," the team wrote in its announcement on Monday.
But the cherry atop of the proverbial vanilla ice cream (and don't expect cherries or any other toppings at Thursday's game) is an incredible deal for anyone with "John" or "Oliver" in their names.
"The team will do something they have never done in 33 seasons, offer free tickets just because of what your parents decided to name you," the team wrote.
The Saints also note "John" and "Oliver" are "two of the Top 150 generic men's names in the world."
Fans will also be dazzled by a power point presentation of "all the names the Saints didn't choose in 1993," when the team was founded by Mike Veeck, Marvin Goldklang and Bill Murray. Yes, that Bill Murray.
And let it be known to those hoping to catch the lens of a camera operator for some jumbotron glory: only those dressed in khaki pants with their shirts tucked in have a chance to shine.
"Plain Night isn't about thrills — it's about embracing the underwhelming," the team wrote. "So, wear your beige, tuck in that polo, and prepare for a night that redefines 'just fine.' Baseball will be played. Possibly. Fun will be had. Arguably."
Plenty of Plain Night tickets are still available.
