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Time of India
31-05-2025
- General
- Time of India
How to train your brain to not take things personally
We've all been there when someone makes a comment, criticises our work, or doesn't reply to a message, and suddenly we're spiraling into self-doubt. Taking things personally is a natural response, especially when we feel vulnerable or insecure. But if left unchecked, this habit can impact our mental well-being, our relationships, and even our career growth. Today, communication is often rushed, and feedback can be blunt or misinterpreted; learning how not to take things personally is a necessary emotional skill. The ability to detach from perceived remarks or criticisms doesn't mean you become indifferent, it means you become more grounded and resilient. As bestselling author Don Miguel Ruiz writes in his book The Four Agreements, 'Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.' His advice is a reminder that much of what we perceive as personal often isn't. It's about them, not you. Here are some practical ways to develop this essential skill Recognize that everyone has their own reality One of the biggest reasons we take things personally is assuming that others see the world the same way we do. by Taboola by Taboola Sponsored Links Sponsored Links Promoted Links Promoted Links You May Like After Losing Weight Kevin James Looks Like A Model 33 Bridges Undo In reality, the personalities of people are driven by their own experiences, beliefs, and emotional baggage. As Don Miguel Ruiz says, 'What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.' If someone lashes out or dismisses you, it likely has more to do with their inner world than with you. Pause before you react Our initial reaction to criticism or conflict is often emotional. Taking a moment to pause can help to shift from reaction to reflection. Asking oneself that is it really about me, or is this person just having a bad day? By delaying your response, one gives their rational brain time to catch up with their emotions. This small habit can make a huge difference in how you process interactions. Building self-awareness and realising your worth When we have low self-esteem, we're more likely to personalise every negative incident upon us. Strengthening self-worth creates a buffer against other people's opinions. Journaling, therapy, or even practicing positive affirmations can help to inculcate the belief that your value doesn't depend on how others treat you. Don't assume their intentions Sometimes we create an entire narrative based on a single comment, message, or glance. Instead of filling in the blanks with worst-case assumptions, seek clarity. If something bothers you, consider asking for clarification in a respectful way. Often, misunderstandings come up not from hatred, but also from poor communication. Letting go of the need for approval Not everyone will like you or agree with you, and that's okay. Trying to gain universal approval is not only impossible but exhausting. True confidence comes from making your actions also speak along with your values, not from chasing external validation. Letting go of the need to be understood or accepted by everyone is necessary for a positive mindset and growth. Health habits to lock down in your 20s One step to a healthier you—join Times Health+ Yoga and feel the change
Time of India
25-05-2025
- General
- Time of India
How to build emotional strength and stop taking things so personally
The world is interestingly connected through technology and social connections, and opinions flow quite freely and unfiltered through social media, workplaces, and daily conversations, so it becomes effortless to take things personally. May it be a colleague's passing comment, a stranger's harsh tone, or a friend's silence, any of these could feel like a direct attack. This emotional habit of interpreting neutral or negative experiences as personal can take a toll on our mental health, confidence, and relationships. But in reality, most of what people say or do has nothing to do with us. According to Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, 'Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.' That wisdom, although simple in words, carries a powerful message that challenges us to look inward before reacting outward. Learning not to take things personally is not about ignoring people's feedback or becoming emotionally numb. It's about understanding that our value isn't determined by someone else's mood, words, or projections. To sail through and tackle situations like these, one must keep the following things in mind. by Taboola by Taboola Sponsored Links Sponsored Links Promoted Links Promoted Links You May Like 2025 Top Trending local enterprise accounting software [Click Here] Esseps Learn More Undo It's usually not about you Most people act from their own fears, beliefs, past experiences, or stress. When someone lashes out or behaves rudely, it's often a picture of their internal struggle, not your worth. Don Miguel Ruiz emphasizes, 'When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts.' By identifying this, you can mentally separate your identity from someone else's behaviour and choose not to let it stay on your mind for long. Be carefully self-aware and have confidence in yourself When you have a strong sense of self-worth, external opinions carry less weight. You don't need constant validation when you're secure in your own values, goals, and identity. Building self-confidence takes time, but begins with identifying your strengths and accepting your flaws without shame. Ask yourself, 'Why does this bother me?' Often, our emotional triggers are reasoned in our own insecurities, not someone else's words. Take a pause before reacting T aking a moment to breathe before responding gives you power. That brief pause helps prevent emotionally charged reactions and allows you to analyse the situation practically. Is the comment really about you? Was the tone truly meant or just blunt? Practicing some meditation or quick breathing can help you create this mental space. As Viktor Frankl famously said, 'Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.' Do not have self doubt Not taking things personally doesn't mean tolerating bad behavior. If someone repeatedly disrespects you, it's okay to address it calmly or remove yourself from the situation. Healthy boundaries are about protecting your peace without blaming yourself or others. You can say, 'I'm not okay with that tone,' without spiraling into self-doubt. Practice detachment but compassionately Letting go of the need to be liked or understood by everyone is liberating and less heavy. This doesn't mean becoming indifferent or cold. Instead, aim for compassionate detachment, which means acknowledging others' pain or frustration without letting it shout down your self-image. It is important to always remind yourself that their opinion is not my reality. One step to a healthier you—join Times Health+ Yoga and feel the change
