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Relationship therapist issues warning over common habit that is actually a 'major red flag' - and could even be a sign you need to break up
Relationship therapist issues warning over common habit that is actually a 'major red flag' - and could even be a sign you need to break up

Daily Mail​

time5 days ago

  • Daily Mail​

Relationship therapist issues warning over common habit that is actually a 'major red flag' - and could even be a sign you need to break up

Being in the era of the smartphone means that it has never been easier for people to track where their significant other is at any given time. Popular applications like WhatsApp and Find My Friends make it easier than ever to keep tabs on where other people are. However, just because it is possible to track a person's movements, doesn't mean it's healthy. In fact, according to London-based therapist Phil Macleod, the practice can actually be a sign of underlying issues in a relationship. Phil, who is a therapist and founder of Thought Reader, told FEMAIL that use of location tracking is a 'care-versus-control issue'. He added: 'Occasional check-ins on a loved one's whereabouts can stem from genuine concern - making sure they're safe or that they arrived somewhere okay. 'But tracking someone all the time? That usually says less about love, and more about mistrust, anxiety, or deeper control issues.' In fact, he added, location tracking can even indicate that the relationship has some fundamental issues, if the habit becomes too important to one or both partners. Phil explained: 'When location tracking becomes routine, expected, or obsessive, it often signals that the foundations of the relationship - trust, mutual respect, and emotional safety - may be missing. 'And if one partner doesn't even know they're being tracked? 'That's a major red flag. It can be part of a broader pattern of covert control or spousal abuse, leaving the other person feeling watched, disempowered, or even trapped.' While some people may think that constantly monitoring their partner is about closeness, according to Phil, it could signal the opposite - a breakdown in emotional connection. He continued: 'When someone feels compelled to monitor their partner's every move, it's often because they no longer feel secure or emotionally safe, and that sense of closeness is being replaced by control.' This type of behaviour, which is often driven by fear or unresolved anxiety, is 'usually rooted in a past event or trauma', according to Phil. He added: 'It may reflect fear of abandonment, betrayal, low self-worth, or the belief that one is not "enough". 'Or it may emerge from trust issues that can't be resolved through logic alone.' 'But when fear starts to override trust, a relationship can shift from romantic to transactional - no longer rooted in intimacy, but in surveillance.' So if people find themselves in a relationship where their partner wants to always track them - or they always want to track their partner - it is worth considering what's really going on. Phil explained: 'When one or both people feel the need to track the other constantly, it's rarely about love. 'It's usually a sign of deeper psychological issues that need attention.

Therapist raises alarm bells over controversial 'speed dumping' dating trend - as people say it 'gives me anxiety'
Therapist raises alarm bells over controversial 'speed dumping' dating trend - as people say it 'gives me anxiety'

Daily Mail​

time03-08-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Daily Mail​

Therapist raises alarm bells over controversial 'speed dumping' dating trend - as people say it 'gives me anxiety'

Singletons have warned against a controversial break-up trend called speed dumping. Modern dating isn't for the faint-hearted, with trends such as 'ghosting' - where daters disappear without a trace or explanation - becoming prevalent around the globe. But now there's a new trend that sees people doing the exact opposite and being upfront with their one-time love interest - though not everyone agrees it's better, or, crucially, kinder. The approach, known as speed dumping, typically occurs within short-term relationships, after a couple of dates or even after the first meeting. 'Speed dumping is a modern phenomenon replacing ghosting,' therapist and founder of Thought Reader Phil Macleod told the Daily Mail, adding, 'It is a quick and direct break-up, usually over social media or text message.' Having decided that their match wasn't for them, the disappointed party will rush to confidently tell the other person exactly that, while remembering to sign off their message politely with well wishes. An example might be: 'It was lovely to meet you and I think you're a great person. I had a wonderful time with you, but I don't think we're compatible in the long term. I wish you all the best!' While the move has met a mixed reception online, some have embraced the trend. For instance, one person responded to an Instagram post on the trend by claiming: 'It's called being an adult!' A second person added in the comment section: 'We're going full circle in learning how to be civil in dating'. While a third said: 'A million times better than ghosting. A little communication, via text or call, goes a long way.' Over on global discussion platform Reddit, the 'DatingOverSixty' subreddit took up the subject of speed dumping, with one person admitting: 'I'd much rather get the 'No' text rather than being ghosted. Not hearing gives me anxiety.' Yet, while it might appear to be an 'adult' or 'civil' approach compared to the more cowardly ghosting, speed dumping has equally been dubbed performative or, more damningly, an ego trip. Indeed, while these apparently straightforward and gracious messages are considered sincere by some, others see them as defensive or a way of saving face. Hannah George, a nutrition assistant from New York, explained that while she was in the habit of sending text messages after subpar dates, she was put out by one she received from a man she'd only met once. The 24-year-old's date didn't simply say he didn't wish to see her again but rather explained that spending time with his family had made him nervous and convinced him that he couldn't be with her. 'I thought it was a little bit too long, you didn't mean this much to me,' Hannah told the Wall Street Journal. Another woman revealed that she was irritated after having received 'not interested' messages from a string of men she'd been out with just once - men that she had no intention of pursuing anyway. Brand strategist Fiona Duerr told the publication: 'It's almost like who can get to it first. Why reject someone when they were not even asking to be rejected?' At the same time, some people online appeared to be repelled by the idea of speed dumping, with one person writing: 'I'm never going to do this and I do not want anyone to do this for me'. Therapist Phil Macleod believes that, at least in some cases, speed dumping may 'come from a place of deep anxiety, trauma or fear of being hurt themselves.' Eager to point out that partners in long-term relationships sometimes deploy the same tactic of simply sending a message to break up rather than engaging in a conversation, Phil added that speed dumping may equally indicate 'a lack of emotional literacy'. He said: 'As society becomes more digitally connected but emotionally distanced, communication has become faster, more transactional, and less personal. 'People now often communicate in short bursts - text messages, emojis, and disappearing messages - rather than face-to-face or through meaningful conversation. 'This shift makes it easier to send a quick goodbye than to engage in a difficult dialogue.' Highlighting the fact that humans crave closure 'and like everything to be emotionally tidy,' he argues that speed dumping skips over that completely. He added: 'From a therapeutic standpoint, it reveals a troubling lack of emotional literacy. We aren't being taught how to end things with empathy - or how to have difficult conversations.' It comes after dating experts issued a warning over the controversial 'cookie-jarring' dating trend - as people labelled it 'gross'. The trend, which first originated in 2019, refers to the practice of dating a person you've put in a reserve position while you're dating someone else, in order to keep your options open. And it seems to have made a comeback for 2025, with more and more singletons taking to social media to express their concern that they've been 'cookie-jarred' by a potential partner - in the UK and beyond. If things aren't going well with their first option, people might 'dip back into' the cookie jar to explore their other options - with no real intent of pursuing anything long term. As a result, daters are seeing multiple people at one time, leading to confusion for all parties involved. People have been left horrified by the trend, with some calling it 'gross' and 'disgusting', but others noted it's been 'going on since time began' and is just 'part of dating'. Dating experts have also warned against the trend - saying those taking part will just 'shoot themselves in the foot' in the future. Positive Psychology Coach Arrezo Azim shared on TikTok: 'Let's be honest, you're keeping them on the side because you want to have somebody else as back-up in case this doesn't work out.

Woman Makes Horrifying Discovery About Entire Apartment: 'See a Doctor'
Woman Makes Horrifying Discovery About Entire Apartment: 'See a Doctor'

Newsweek

time25-07-2025

  • Health
  • Newsweek

Woman Makes Horrifying Discovery About Entire Apartment: 'See a Doctor'

Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. The comfort of home was shattered for one woman who made a horrific discovery about her apartment. In a chilling TikTok video, the creator said that her entire apartment was consumed by mold—she showed viewers widespread black and dark discoloration on walls, furniture and personal items. Since the clip was posted, it has received more than 8 million views. "I'm actually on the verge of tears," the woman began in her video. "My whole apartment is mold. I did not realize it was this bad. I didn't notice it." As she pans the camera, the extent of the damage becomes terrifyingly clear. "I'm looking at this, and I'm like, 'Huh. That's, like, darker than I remember it.' This is all mold." The discovery extended beyond walls and into her personal belongings—including her wall mirror and even her Ugg boots. "I don't know if I just haven't been looking at these things, or it just happened so gradually, but my entire apartment is literally mold," she said. The Psychological Impact The woman's shock and disbelief resonated with many, as mold can often spread subtly before becoming overtly noticeable. Newsweek spoke to Phil Macleod, a therapist and founder of Thought Reader, who offered insight into why such a pervasive issue might go unnoticed. "When you're familiar with a place such as your home, you stop seeing it with fresh eyes as you are too used to or familiar with the surroundings," Macleod said. "This is because the brain naturally filters out what it deems unthreatening, so gradual changes like spreading mold can go unnoticed until there's a noticeable visual or sensory 'shock' that suddenly stops you in your tracks." This sudden realization can be deeply unsettling, leading to a "fight or flight" response that releases cortisol and adrenaline. Macleod added that the experience can be "deeply unsettling." "Our homes are often our prized possession; they are supposed to be our sanctuaries," he said. "When that space feels threatened, it can feel as if your entire sense of safety has been turned upside down, leaving you vulnerable, shaken and shocked." Stock image: A woman sits on her apartment floor, looking at mold on the walls. Stock image: A woman sits on her apartment floor, looking at mold on the walls. Visivasnc/Getty Images Urgent Advice From Commenters Beyond the emotional toll, the discovery of mold in one's home carries significant health risks. TikTok commenters swiftly advised the woman to prioritize her well-being. "Mold tech here," one person wrote. "All soft items can be washed. All hard items, wiped, sterilized. Porous items toss. Move. And see a doctor. Detox. This job is huge." Another user, who had personal experience, reinforced the medical warning: "Please also see a doctor," they wrote. "I moved out of a moldy apartment a year ago and I am still struggling with the aftermath health-wise." In an update, the creator shared that she consulted a mold expert who told her to evacuate her apartment so he could test the air quality. "I'm gonna pack up some things, get a lot of vinegar and skedaddle," she said in the video. "He told me that I shouldn't be in here without a mask, but I've been living here for a good bit of time now, so what's another hour? I'm gonna go pack." Newsweek reached out to @ava_dettore5 for comment via TikTok.

Brooklyn Beckham's 'quiet olive branch' to family with birthday post to sister
Brooklyn Beckham's 'quiet olive branch' to family with birthday post to sister

Daily Mirror

time10-07-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Daily Mirror

Brooklyn Beckham's 'quiet olive branch' to family with birthday post to sister

Former aspiring photographer Brooklyn Beckham posted a sweet tribute to his sister Harper on her 14th birthday amid the ongoing family feud between the 26-year-old and his parents Brooklyn Beckham has spent months snubbing his family on social media but recently shocked fans when he took to his Instagram Stories to wish his little sister, Harper Seven, a happy birthday. Brooklyn shared a picture of him and his wife, Nicola Peltz, posing with the youngest child of Victoria and David Beckham. The oldest of Posh and Becks' brood took to Instagram to share the touching message after speculation was rife on whether he would publicly post. The 26-year-old shared a snap of himself and wife Nicola Peltz alongside his sister on his Instagram Stories. In the image, Brooklyn was seen wearing a tuxedo, while Nicola had a white sleeveless shirt and bowtie. ‌ READ MORE: 'Amazon Prime Day saved me £90 on beauty last year – this time I've saved even more' ‌ Harper flashed a smile in between the pair in a pale pink dress. Brooklyn wrote on the upload: "Happy birthday harper we love u x," and tagged his wife. The actress, 30, reshared the post on her own Story. The post comes after both Nicola and Brooklyn snubbed Victoria's 51st birthday celebrations, David's milestone 50th birthday in May, the football star's recent knighthood and more. Amid the family feud, Brooklyn was quick to wish his father-in-law, Nelson, a happy birthday on social media before jetting off to Saint-Tropez for a getaway with Nicola, Nelson, Nicola's mum, Claudia, and her brothers Will and Zach. ‌ Even though there has been tension brewing within the Beckham family, mindset coach and hypnotherapist Phil Macleod revealed Brooklyn's birthday message to Harper is a sign 'he wants to soften things'. The founder of Thought Reader told the Mirror: "When it comes to family dynamics - especially in a spotlight like the Beckhams- every post, every silence, says something. From a mindset and psychology angle, Brooklyn's birthday message to Harper could be a quiet olive branch. ‌ "Maybe it's a sign he wants to soften things. Or maybe it's just him saying, 'You're still my sister,' without getting tangled in the wider family drama. It could even be a way of saying don't worry, you're not part of the family drama.. " Reiterating how fans don't know what's happening behind closed doors, he added: "There might've been a call or message already - this could just be the public layer we're seeing due to the pressures of the media speculating whether Brooklyn will reach out on his sister's birthday or not. "And one of the issues with the Beckham franchise is that it's a huge PR machine in all their daily activities. Which is why from the outside, it appears more for show (although I'm sure they do care and love her), than aimed at Harper directly.' ‌ Phil went on to point out how Harper, now 14, doesn't have even have an Instagram account, meaning she likely wouldn't have "seen the post firsthand". He said: "At 13, not being included directly can feel like being spoken about , not to . In a world where teens are already searching for belonging, that kind of indirect connection can hit harder than people realise. 'Psychologically, this is a very impressionable and sensitive stage. Children and teens at this age are figuring out who they are, where they fit, and what love looks like and what true connections are. When someone important to you goes quiet, and then speaks publicly instead of personally , it can stir up questions and emotions—'Am I still important to them?' 'Why didn't they tell me themselves?' And Those thoughts stick.' The expert said Brooklyn's recent post shows how he 'cares', "but for Harper's sake let's hope he reached out with a card, call or text, something human."

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