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Tom Daley on the 'Lonely' Times Behind the Olympic Successes

Newsweek

11-06-2025

Entertainment
Newsweek

Tom Daley on the 'Lonely' Times Behind the Olympic Successes

Tom Daley photographed for his documentary - Tom Daley - 1.6 Seconds. Tom Daley photographed for his documentary - Tom Daley - 1.6 Seconds. Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc "It was a very lonely period because no one really understood." British diver Tom Daley was thrust onto the world stage at his first Olympic Games in 2008, age 14. What remained hidden from the public was the strain success at a young age put on him. "It was a very lonely period because no one really understood." Daley reflects on his diving career and life in the new documentary Tom Daley: 1.6 Seconds ( "Growing up, you think you know everything.... It's only when you look back, you realize you knew absolutely nothing." Daley also had to contend with losing his father and coming out as gay. "It was quite scary to finally, actually, come out. Because I knew that it wasn't just going to be telling my family. There was going to be public opinion." And he recounts being bullied while growing up. "I almost felt guilty for being bullied at school. I'm really grateful and really lucky to be in the position that I'm in, yet I'm having this really rough time." Though revisiting the past was hard, the keen knitter is proud of his documentary. "It would be really cool for my kids to have something to look back on and see what happened in my diving career." SUBSCRIBE TO THE PARTING SHOT WITH H. ALAN SCOTT ON APPLE PODCASTS OR SPOTIFY AND WATCH ON YOUTUBE Editor's Note: This conversation has been edited and condensed for publication. Tom Daley of Great Britain with his gold medal won with team mate Matty Lee of Great Britain in the Men's Synchronised 10m Platform Diving at the Tokyo Aquatic Centre at the Tokyo 2020 Summer... Tom Daley of Great Britain with his gold medal won with team mate Matty Lee of Great Britain in the Men's Synchronised 10m Platform Diving at the Tokyo Aquatic Centre at the Tokyo 2020 Summer Olympic Games on July 26, 2021 in Tokyo, Japan. More Tim Clayton/Corbis via Getty Images What struck me watching the doc is how young you were when we all were introduced to you. What was it like seeing a lot of this old footage while doing the documentary? It was the first time that I'd seen most of that footage, if I'm being honest. Obviously, the Olympic stuff I had seen, but the home video stuff and all the footage—I was reacting for the very first time that I'd ever seen that. It was very surreal to look back at my whole life in that way. I remember watching it back the first time—I was very emotional. Because I was like, "Oh my gosh. This is all the stuff that I did and had to go through." And I kind of felt sorry for younger me and how I was thrust into this thing, not really knowing how to deal with any of it. Not really having any advice or knowing anyone that was going through the same thing. Because growing up in a small town of Plymouth, there weren't many people around that had had any similar experience. That's really it, how watching the doc we can feel how much you were thrust into the spotlight. I look back at it now as a parent as well. My oldest son turned 7 at the end of June, and that was the age I started diving. And I look at that, and I think, "Oh my gosh. That was the age where I started doing all of this stuff." I mean, with Robbie, if he wanted to, great. But it seems so young. And I only thought of it as being young now as a parent, because when I was growing up and I was doing it, I was like, I knew everything. I was an old person. As you're growing up, you think you know everything. And then it's only when you look back, you realize that you knew absolutely nothing. And it was a wild ride to go on, I'll tell you that. Queen Elizabeth II meets the Olympic diving team including Tom Daley (R) at a reception held at Buckingham Palace for the 2008 Great Britain Olympic Team on October 16, 2008 in London, England. Queen Elizabeth II meets the Olympic diving team including Tom Daley (R) at a reception held at Buckingham Palace for the 2008 Great Britain Olympic Team on October 16, 2008 in London, England. Tim GrahamWhy did you want to do the documentary now? Once I released my book in 2021, right after the Olympics in Tokyo, they approached me to do a little bit of a retrospective about my whole career and things like that, because there's so much footage out there from various documentaries that I've done in the past. But then it got to a point where they were like, "Oh, do you want to do something where you look back on everything?" And I was like, "Yeah, that would be great. But also, surprise! I'm also going back to dive again for another year." And it was one of those things that just—I don't know—it always feels weird when people approach you to do things like that. Because you're like, "Oh, what? Who would care? Who's interested in any of that?" But then I actually thought about my kids in that moment. Like, you know what? It would be really cool for my kids to be able to have something to look back on and see what all happened in my diving career. So, if anything, it's like a token—a thing for them, really. The doc also reveals things that I don't think a lot of us knew, like your experience with going back to school after the Olympics, and the bullying you were subjected to. What was it like watching all of that? Very lonely, honestly. It was a very lonely period because no one really understood. I had my best friends—Sophie, who is still my best friend today, who I never spoke to about diving. She's there to be, like, "Yay! That was great." But she doesn't have any interest in knowing what's going on within it. Well, maybe she does have interest. But she doesn't see me just as a diver. She's my best friend. So I think that's something that's really quite nice to have, and I'm really grateful for her. Obviously, I had my parents and my diving teammates, but no one really understood what it was like to be that young when I was going away on team competitions, because they were all so much older than I was at the time. So there was nothing that we had ever in common. So it was a very lonely existence. I almost felt guilty for being bullied at school, because I was like, I never want to bother anyone about this. I'm really grateful and really lucky to be in the position that I'm in, yet I'm having this really rough time. It was like being pulled from one side to the other of like, "Yay, great. I'm succeeding in this." But then, "Oh no, I'm being pulled this way." It was this constant back and forth. It was quite difficult to have that moment where I was just like, "You know what? I feel very alone. I don't really know what to do." That's part of the reason why I think I kept finding myself putting on this other personality to be able to hide from that bit of me that was really struggling. Because I never really wanted to confront it, whether that was being gay, being bullied, knowing that my dad was terminally ill, and having all these things that I had to deal with. I never wanted to come across as the person that felt sorry for himself, because I felt so grateful and lucky to be in the position I was and I didn't ever feel like I was in a position to ever complain about that. How was it grappling with your own sexuality while dealing with all of that at that time? It's really difficult. Going through childhood and growing up is difficult anyway, for anyone. We have all of these things pulling us in different directions, telling us what we should be, shouldn't be, how we should portray ourselves. But it was very difficult to explore who I was sexually because I was always really worried about being caught. Because you know what society says that you should be. So then when there's something wrong with you or you're slightly different, you feel like, "Oh, gosh, I can never actually explore that side of me, because I don't want things to go wrong." And then I was getting advice from different people where it was—it just felt very lonely and a very difficult thing to have to go through and navigate. It was also one of those things that I couldn't tell anyone that I was struggling with that side of things, because as soon as I told someone, that meant I came out, and I wasn't ready to do that. So it was quite scary to finally, actually, come out. Because I knew that it wasn't just going to be telling my family. There was going to be public opinion, and it was scary. But [I'm] very grateful and lucky that it did go way better than I had expected. It's touching in the doc to see the impact your father had on you, and the impact of his passing at such a young age. How hard was it looking at that old footage, and what impact do you think he had on your Olympic success? My dad was a great guy, and he taught me so many valuable lessons I didn't even know he was teaching me at the time. Mainly to not care what anyone else thinks. As long as the people around you are happy and healthy and you're not hurting anyone, you're doing well. And he taught me so much about perspective. But seeing those videos back for the first time when they first came up, oh my gosh, it took me out. I was not ready to be hit with that straight away. I don't know if anyone else feels the same as me, but I feel guilty sometimes about the fact that, as I'm getting older—I lost my dad when I was 17, and of course, I like to think that he comes into my head every single day. But then there's some times where he doesn't—then I'm like, I don't want to forget about him, but I don't know how to feel about it being so present all the time. And just seeing that documentary and knowing that that's there for me to be able to always look back on and cherish those memories is pretty special. Tom Daley (L) and Dustin Lance Black pose at the PFLAG 50th Anniversary Gala at The New York Marriott Marquis on March 3, 2023 in New York City. Tom Daley (L) and Dustin Lance Black pose at the PFLAG 50th Anniversary Gala at The New York Marriott Marquis on March 3, 2023 in New York City. Bruce Glikas/WireImage There's also the impact of your husband, Dustin Lance Black. From the doc it does feel like so much of your life aligned after meeting him, from your marriage to even your Olympic games. Yeah, it gave me a sense of perspective. Of realizing that I'm more than just a diver. That diving isn't what matters most in life. It's all of the stuff on the outside. It's your friends, it's your family, it's feeling loved and supported. And without that, it's really difficult to succeed and not put the tons and tons of pressure on yourself. But when you go into a competition knowing that you're going to be loved and supported regardless of how you do, it's so incredibly freeing, and allows you just to be able to fly in the way that you never thought that you even possibly could. You've accomplished so much at such a young age. What do you do now? Honestly, I spend all my time knitting. There's lots of knitting that happens, which is great. Made with Love, my knitting business, is where my passion lies, and I want to keep expanding. But I also have done different TV hosting things. I just finished shooting a TV show in the U.K. called Game of Wool, which is basically like the knitting version of [The Great British] Bake Off. It's like a competition show. I'm hosting, and then there's two judges, 10 contestants. Each week, someone gets cast off—if you're a knitter, that is a knitting pun, when you cast off your work from your needles. It has been really fun. There's lots of things that we've been doing and working on with that. So yeah, we'll see what comes from that. But ideally, to work in TV hosting and expand my Made with Love passion. Britain's Tom Daley (L) knits in the stands next to Lois Toulson during the men's 3m springboard diving semi-final during the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at the Aquatics Centre in Saint-Denis, north of Paris, on... Britain's Tom Daley (L) knits in the stands next to Lois Toulson during the men's 3m springboard diving semi-final during the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at the Aquatics Centre in Saint-Denis, north of Paris, on August 7, 2024. More OLI SCARFF/AFP via Getty Images How often do people ask you to randomly knit them things? Oh, all the time. I get asked to knit things all the time. And if I knit you something, that means that you're really important. Because I'm so busy with knitting things all the time for different people and different things. I do just genuinely love it. An ideal day would literally just be sitting by a pool—actually, I've done that my whole life—maybe on the beach, let's say. And just knitting the whole day. It's just so therapeutic to me. I often look forward to going on long-haul flights just to be able to have uninterrupted knitting time. Wow. You are going to be a great senior citizen. I know! I'm so ready for being a senior citizen. Well, kind of. Not really. But yeah, I feel like I'm going to be able to pass the time. As long as my hands are still working nicely as I get older. What do you ultimately hope people take from this documentary? I mean, there's so many different things. I think, obviously, never giving up on your dreams and working as hard as you possibly can toward them. But also accepting help, keeping people around you and being able to keep those open lines of communication. Being able to really have a support system around you—whether that's family, whether that's friends—and realize a sense of perspective that you're more than just what you do. And if you take a step back or take a break from what you do, and you see it from a different perspective, it really allows your perspective to shift when you go back into it. So I think that's one thing that I hope people take away from the documentary.

Tom Daley reveals whether he and husband Dustin Lance Black are planning to expand their family

Perth Now

07-06-2025

Entertainment
Perth Now

Tom Daley reveals whether he and husband Dustin Lance Black are planning to expand their family

Tom Daley doesn't want any more children. The 31-year-old former Olympic diver and his husband Dustin Lance Black, 50, are parents to sons Robbie, seven, and two-year-old Phoenix and are very content with family life the way it is. Asked if he wants to have more children, Tom told Britain's HELLO! magazine: 'Family of four is good.' Tom's boys make regular appearances on his social media channels, and while Robbie in particular seems to enjoy being in the spotlight, the former Team GB athlete is keen to 'protect' him from the downsides of game, such as bullying. He said: 'Robbie's got a lot of personality, but there's also a part of me, with everything I went through as a kid, that wants to protect him as much as possible.' Tom – who retired after the Paris Olympics in August 2024 with a total haul of five Olympic medals, including one gold - began diving when he was just seven years old and he is keen for his children to find their own passions in life, which he pledged that he and Lance will support however they can. He said: 'I want to be led by what they want to do. 'The way you can be your happiest is finding something you're passionate about, that you love to do, and then making it something you do every day. 'That's my hope for them.' Tom has opened up about battling an eating disorder in his new documentary 'Tom Daley: 1.6 Seconds', and though he is 'fine' these days, he will always have a 'very different' relationship with food and is paying particular attention to managing his 'expectations' now he is no longer expected to be in peak fitness. He said: 'Once you've had an eating disorder, you always have a very different relationship with food; you question everything you eat, the amount of exercise you're doing, the calories you're burning… 'Rationally, when I look at myself, I know I'm fine, but that's not what the eating disorder sees. 'The irrational part of your brain makes you question everything you do, making yourself not eat and then binge-eating. 'Now that I'm retired, I have to get used to the fact that I'm not able to train six hours a day, six days a week, and alter my expectations of what I do to stay happy and healthy.'

Tom Daley Explains How Marriage to Husband Dustin Lance Black Has Evolved Over Time

Yahoo

03-06-2025

Entertainment
Yahoo

Tom Daley Explains How Marriage to Husband Dustin Lance Black Has Evolved Over Time

Five-time Olympic medalist Tom Daley explained how the 19-year age gap between him and his husband, screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, has taken on a different shape since the couple first started dating more than a decade ago. Daley, 31, and Black, 50, got married in 2017 after four years together. In an exclusive interview with Us Weekly, the British diving star explained that the couple's age difference feels smaller by the year. 'One hundred percent,' said Daley, whose life and career are profiled in the new documentary Tom Daley: 1.6 Seconds. 'It's funny because the people that know us know that I'm the more mature person that kinds of runs the show in the house.' The couple share two sons, both welcomed via surrogate: Robbie, 6, and Phoenix, 2. Diver Tom Daley Shows Off 'Cardboard' and 'Anti-Sex' Beds in Olympic Village 'As we get older, I think we both align very well on what we want to achieve,' Daley added. 'We're both really big dreamers. I think that was the biggest thing for us, that we're both so supportive of each other. We don't limit the other person's dreams. We really make each other feel like we can achieve whatever we set our minds to.' Daley, who retired from professional diving after earning a silver medal at the 2024 Paris Olympics, recently aligned with Black on a full-time move to Los Angeles from Daley's native England. 'There were a number of reasons, honestly,' Daley said when asked about the family's decision to come stateside. 'Part of it was the fact that Lance moved to the U.K. for me to be able to do my diving for the longest time. He moved away from his business and his work. 'Now it's his turn' kind of vibe.' Following his retirement last year, Daley admitted it 'still feels weird' to be away from the pool in a professional capacity. 'I watch all the diving competitions,' Daley said. 'There's still part of me that's like, 'Oh, I could do that.' You know what I mean? Like, 'I could do it better than them. What are they doing? Come on. Is that really all they got?' There's still a part of me that's a bit like, 'Oof.'' Still, when asked if there was any chance he might change his mind about retirement, Daley was definitive. 'No, we're done,' he said. In the new documentary 1.6 Seconds, Daley emotionally recounts the death of his father, Robert, who died of a brain tumor in 2011, years before Daley started his own family. 'That was part of the reason to do the documentary, for them to be able to have something to look back on and get to know their grandad a little bit,' Daley explained. 'Get to know what their papa did with his whole life. I think that's something that's really important and one of the reasons the documentary happened in the first place. For my kids.' Olympian Tom Daley Reveals the NSFW Gift He Knitted for Diving Partner Noah Williams In the documentary, Daley is seen splashing around in the family pool with both of his sons. But when it comes to them potentially following in his footsteps, Daley said, 'That's on them.' 'If they want to start diving, they can tell me they want to start diving,' he noted. 'But I'm never going to push anything on them that they don't want to do. So, if they showed interest in it.' Daley continued, 'Robbie doesn't really show interest in that side of things. Whereas Phoenix is slightly more of a second child. Daredevil, crazy. You know, the feral child. There's slightly more interest.' Tom Daley: 1.6 seconds is available to view for free in the United States on

Tom Daley talks of 'lonely experience' as a gay athlete

The Advertiser

01-06-2025

Entertainment
The Advertiser

Tom Daley talks of 'lonely experience' as a gay athlete

Tom Daley had a "very lonely experience" as a closeted athlete. The 31-year-old diver has now been married to Hollywood director Dustin Lance Black, 50, since 2017 but endured some personal struggles before disclosing his sexuality to the world in his late teens, and wants to help those in a similar position to him avoid ending up in a "dangerous" place. He told Variety: "They don't know what to do, how to navigate and obviously coming out in certain places is a very different experience than coming out in the UK or the US, so it can be quite dangerous. "I always say to them that I can be there as a sounding board just because it is a very lonely experience." Daley- whose father Robert died from a brain tumour in 2011 at the age of 40 - has sons Robbie, six, as well as two-year-old Phoenix with his husband and admitted that losing his dad was one of the "most difficult" things he has ever had to go through but still takes inspiration from his dad when it comes to his parenting style. He said: "I model lots of my parenting and lots of the things that I do every day around what I learned from my dad. He my biggest cheerleader. He was there for every training session, every competition, and he was a huge part of my life, day in, day out. "Losing him was one of the most difficult things that I ever had to deal with. "Yet I was dealing with that in a very public way in the UK. Looking back on all of that footage was quite challenging to watch because I felt really sorry for the younger Tom that I kind of was just carrying on and putting on a brave face, and I didn't ever want to bother anyone with how I was feeling because I didn't want to ever make anyone else feel uncomfortable." The Olympian has discussed his life and career at length in the new documentary, Tom Daley: 1.6 Seconds, but admitted that he initially had reservations about speaking about such personal things on camera. He said: "I wasn't sure about doing it initially. You know what? This is something that I would love to be able to then show my kids in the future and be able to be like, 'Look, this is what Papa did. This is the thing that Papa was doing day in, day out' And the things that I did, and be able to get to know the relationship I had with my dad and all of that stuff." Tom Daley had a "very lonely experience" as a closeted athlete. The 31-year-old diver has now been married to Hollywood director Dustin Lance Black, 50, since 2017 but endured some personal struggles before disclosing his sexuality to the world in his late teens, and wants to help those in a similar position to him avoid ending up in a "dangerous" place. He told Variety: "They don't know what to do, how to navigate and obviously coming out in certain places is a very different experience than coming out in the UK or the US, so it can be quite dangerous. "I always say to them that I can be there as a sounding board just because it is a very lonely experience." Daley- whose father Robert died from a brain tumour in 2011 at the age of 40 - has sons Robbie, six, as well as two-year-old Phoenix with his husband and admitted that losing his dad was one of the "most difficult" things he has ever had to go through but still takes inspiration from his dad when it comes to his parenting style. He said: "I model lots of my parenting and lots of the things that I do every day around what I learned from my dad. He my biggest cheerleader. He was there for every training session, every competition, and he was a huge part of my life, day in, day out. "Losing him was one of the most difficult things that I ever had to deal with. "Yet I was dealing with that in a very public way in the UK. Looking back on all of that footage was quite challenging to watch because I felt really sorry for the younger Tom that I kind of was just carrying on and putting on a brave face, and I didn't ever want to bother anyone with how I was feeling because I didn't want to ever make anyone else feel uncomfortable." The Olympian has discussed his life and career at length in the new documentary, Tom Daley: 1.6 Seconds, but admitted that he initially had reservations about speaking about such personal things on camera. He said: "I wasn't sure about doing it initially. You know what? This is something that I would love to be able to then show my kids in the future and be able to be like, 'Look, this is what Papa did. This is the thing that Papa was doing day in, day out' And the things that I did, and be able to get to know the relationship I had with my dad and all of that stuff." Tom Daley had a "very lonely experience" as a closeted athlete. The 31-year-old diver has now been married to Hollywood director Dustin Lance Black, 50, since 2017 but endured some personal struggles before disclosing his sexuality to the world in his late teens, and wants to help those in a similar position to him avoid ending up in a "dangerous" place. He told Variety: "They don't know what to do, how to navigate and obviously coming out in certain places is a very different experience than coming out in the UK or the US, so it can be quite dangerous. "I always say to them that I can be there as a sounding board just because it is a very lonely experience." Daley- whose father Robert died from a brain tumour in 2011 at the age of 40 - has sons Robbie, six, as well as two-year-old Phoenix with his husband and admitted that losing his dad was one of the "most difficult" things he has ever had to go through but still takes inspiration from his dad when it comes to his parenting style. He said: "I model lots of my parenting and lots of the things that I do every day around what I learned from my dad. He my biggest cheerleader. He was there for every training session, every competition, and he was a huge part of my life, day in, day out. "Losing him was one of the most difficult things that I ever had to deal with. "Yet I was dealing with that in a very public way in the UK. Looking back on all of that footage was quite challenging to watch because I felt really sorry for the younger Tom that I kind of was just carrying on and putting on a brave face, and I didn't ever want to bother anyone with how I was feeling because I didn't want to ever make anyone else feel uncomfortable." The Olympian has discussed his life and career at length in the new documentary, Tom Daley: 1.6 Seconds, but admitted that he initially had reservations about speaking about such personal things on camera. He said: "I wasn't sure about doing it initially. You know what? This is something that I would love to be able to then show my kids in the future and be able to be like, 'Look, this is what Papa did. This is the thing that Papa was doing day in, day out' And the things that I did, and be able to get to know the relationship I had with my dad and all of that stuff." Tom Daley had a "very lonely experience" as a closeted athlete. The 31-year-old diver has now been married to Hollywood director Dustin Lance Black, 50, since 2017 but endured some personal struggles before disclosing his sexuality to the world in his late teens, and wants to help those in a similar position to him avoid ending up in a "dangerous" place. He told Variety: "They don't know what to do, how to navigate and obviously coming out in certain places is a very different experience than coming out in the UK or the US, so it can be quite dangerous. "I always say to them that I can be there as a sounding board just because it is a very lonely experience." Daley- whose father Robert died from a brain tumour in 2011 at the age of 40 - has sons Robbie, six, as well as two-year-old Phoenix with his husband and admitted that losing his dad was one of the "most difficult" things he has ever had to go through but still takes inspiration from his dad when it comes to his parenting style. He said: "I model lots of my parenting and lots of the things that I do every day around what I learned from my dad. He my biggest cheerleader. He was there for every training session, every competition, and he was a huge part of my life, day in, day out. "Losing him was one of the most difficult things that I ever had to deal with. "Yet I was dealing with that in a very public way in the UK. Looking back on all of that footage was quite challenging to watch because I felt really sorry for the younger Tom that I kind of was just carrying on and putting on a brave face, and I didn't ever want to bother anyone with how I was feeling because I didn't want to ever make anyone else feel uncomfortable." The Olympian has discussed his life and career at length in the new documentary, Tom Daley: 1.6 Seconds, but admitted that he initially had reservations about speaking about such personal things on camera. He said: "I wasn't sure about doing it initially. You know what? This is something that I would love to be able to then show my kids in the future and be able to be like, 'Look, this is what Papa did. This is the thing that Papa was doing day in, day out' And the things that I did, and be able to get to know the relationship I had with my dad and all of that stuff."

Tom Daley opens up on 'very lonely experience' as a closeted gay athlete