Latest news with #VelanKunjuraman
The Sun
2 days ago
- General
- The Sun
Modern challenges of adult bonds
PETALING JAYA: While the phrase 'best friends forever' (BFF) is as commonly used by adults as teenagers, its meaning becomes more nuanced and sometimes bittersweet with age. What once symbolised endless laughter, shared secrets and unwavering loyalty gradually transforms into fleeting messages, occasional catch-ups and friendships shaped more by convenience than connection. As people move into their 30s and 40s, life becomes increasingly occupied with careers, marriage, children and caring for aging parents, leaving little space for the deep, spontaneous bonds of youth. For many, the once-cherished ideal of a lifelong BFF evolves into something more practical and at times, more distant. Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia senior lecturer in anthropology and sociology Dr Velan Kunjuraman said the nature of friendship has shifted in the fast-paced, globalised society of today. Speaking in conjunction with World Best Friends Day today, Velan said adult relationships in Malaysia have become increasingly situational and why the longing for meaningful connection still runs deep. 'While Malaysian adults in their 30s or 40s may refer to someone as a 'best friend,' in reality, many of these relationships have become more superficial,' he said, adding that adult friendships are no longer defined by constant interaction or physical presence, as they were in youth. 'The concept of a BFF evolves with age. It depends greatly on the personality, lifestyle and values of a person.' Velan said a major factor behind this change is the growing weight of adult responsibilities. 'Friendships in adulthood are influenced by multiple factors – career demands, business networks, entertainment preferences and emotional support needs.' While personal values play a role in shaping friendships, responsibilities such as marriage and parenthood often reduce the time and emotional capacity available for maintaining close social ties. 'Sometimes, these obligations create barriers to sustaining long-term friendships.' Social connections are increasingly built around proximity and convenience, such as relationships with co-workers, neighbours or members of local communities. Velan also highlighted the influence of collectivist culture in Malaysia, especially on women, adding that historically, cultural expectations place a heavy domestic burden on women, limiting their social interactions beyond the household. On the impact of migration for work, study or marriage, Velan acknowledged that such transitions could disrupt longstanding friendships. 'When women move into the household of their husband, cultural expectations may make it hard to maintain connections.' Velan said while some manage to stay in touch, many friendships fade as new routines and responsibilities take precedence. 'Technology, while beneficial, could also be a double-edged sword. Social media platforms such as WhatsApp, Instagram and TikTok help adults stay connected. 'However, the nature of these interactions can sometimes feel performative or superficial, depending on how individuals engage with them,' he said, adding that forming new friendships in adulthood is also a growing challenge. 'Once people enter the workforce or take on family responsibilities, their social circles often shrink.' Adults may also become more selective in choosing friends, seeking those who share similar values or lifestyles. 'The absence of meaningful friendships in adulthood could negatively affect mental health, increasing the risk of loneliness, stress and depression. Friendship offers emotional support and a sense of belonging, both of which are essential for psychological resilience.'
The Sun
2 days ago
- General
- The Sun
Why Adult Friendships Change: BFFs and Life's Realities
PETALING JAYA: While the phrase 'best friends forever' (BFF) is as commonly used by adults as teenagers, its meaning becomes more nuanced and sometimes bittersweet with age. What once symbolised endless laughter, shared secrets and unwavering loyalty gradually transforms into fleeting messages, occasional catch-ups and friendships shaped more by convenience than connection. As people move into their 30s and 40s, life becomes increasingly occupied with careers, marriage, children and caring for aging parents, leaving little space for the deep, spontaneous bonds of youth. For many, the once-cherished ideal of a lifelong BFF evolves into something more practical and at times, more distant. Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia senior lecturer in anthropology and sociology Dr Velan Kunjuraman said the nature of friendship has shifted in the fast-paced, globalised society of today. Speaking in conjunction with World Best Friends Day today, Velan said adult relationships in Malaysia have become increasingly situational and why the longing for meaningful connection still runs deep. 'While Malaysian adults in their 30s or 40s may refer to someone as a 'best friend,' in reality, many of these relationships have become more superficial,' he said, adding that adult friendships are no longer defined by constant interaction or physical presence, as they were in youth. 'The concept of a BFF evolves with age. It depends greatly on the personality, lifestyle and values of a person.' Velan said a major factor behind this change is the growing weight of adult responsibilities. 'Friendships in adulthood are influenced by multiple factors – career demands, business networks, entertainment preferences and emotional support needs.' While personal values play a role in shaping friendships, responsibilities such as marriage and parenthood often reduce the time and emotional capacity available for maintaining close social ties. 'Sometimes, these obligations create barriers to sustaining long-term friendships.' Social connections are increasingly built around proximity and convenience, such as relationships with co-workers, neighbours or members of local communities. Velan also highlighted the influence of collectivist culture in Malaysia, especially on women, adding that historically, cultural expectations place a heavy domestic burden on women, limiting their social interactions beyond the household. On the impact of migration for work, study or marriage, Velan acknowledged that such transitions could disrupt longstanding friendships. 'When women move into the household of their husband, cultural expectations may make it hard to maintain connections.' Velan said while some manage to stay in touch, many friendships fade as new routines and responsibilities take precedence. 'Technology, while beneficial, could also be a double-edged sword. Social media platforms such as WhatsApp, Instagram and TikTok help adults stay connected. 'However, the nature of these interactions can sometimes feel performative or superficial, depending on how individuals engage with them,' he said, adding that forming new friendships in adulthood is also a growing challenge. 'Once people enter the workforce or take on family responsibilities, their social circles often shrink.' Adults may also become more selective in choosing friends, seeking those who share similar values or lifestyles. 'The absence of meaningful friendships in adulthood could negatively affect mental health, increasing the risk of loneliness, stress and depression. Friendship offers emotional support and a sense of belonging, both of which are essential for psychological resilience.' Cutline: With advancing age, youthful interactions may fade into occasional meet-ups and brief phone conversations. – theSunpix
The Sun
25-05-2025
- General
- The Sun
Fewer couples starting families amid shifting priorities
PETALING JAYA: Malaysia is facing an unprecedented decline in birth rates, a demographic shift that experts warn could have serious consequences for the nation's economy, workforce and social cohesion. Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia public health medicine specialist Prof Dr Sharifa Ezat Wan Puteh attributed the falling birth rate largely to the high cost of raising children, particularly in urban areas. 'Years ago, families often had five children. Now, the average is three, and it could fall further to two or even one, much like the trend in Singapore. 'It's not just housing or food. Even providing nutritious meals is expensive. Parents feel pressured to enrol children in preschool by age three, followed by entrance exams, tuition and other academic demands – all of which add to the financial burden.' She added that environmental factors are also playing a growing role. 'Air and water pollution, including exposure to heavy metals from traffic and industrial waste, has been linked to reduced sperm quality in men. Fertility isn't just about biology, it's also about the desire to have children and both are declining.' She added that while dual-income households are now the norm, even two salaries often fall short of what is needed to raise a family. 'It's no longer feasible for the husband alone to support the household. The wife also contributes significantly to family expenses. Yet, starting salaries remain low, even for professionals such as doctors, engineers and teachers. In an upper-middle income country such as Malaysia, a minimum wage of RM1,700 is still inadequate for a growing family.' According to the Statistics Department, only 93,500 births were recorded in the first quarter of 2025, an 11.5% drop from 105,613 during the same period last year. It marks the lowest quarterly birth rate ever recorded. The department attributed the decline to falling fertility and warned of broader social implications. Meanwhile, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia senior lecturer in anthropology and sociology Dr Velan Kunjuraman pointed to deeper societal shifts, shaped by modernisation and globalisation, which have redefined perceptions of marriage and parenthood. 'Young people today prioritise financial stability, personal freedom and career success before starting families. Marriage, once a key life milestone, no longer holds the same weight.' He observed that highly educated, career-focused individuals increasingly view marriage as optional, with some choosing to remain childfree to enjoy life without the responsibilities of parenting. Velan also highlighted the rising divorce rate and growing acceptance of alternative relationships, such as live-in partnerships, especially in urban areas. 'Marriage remains an important ethical and legal institution, but its meaning and practice have evolved. Gender expectations still play a role, some women see marriage as a threat to their independence due to the traditional caregiving roles still expected of them. 'Today, successful families are founded on shared responsibility and mutual respect.'
