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Forbes
3 days ago
- General
- Forbes
Why Capable Women Still Feel Disempowered In Male-Dominated Industries
Yann Dang, Aspire Coaching | Leadership & Emotional Intelligence Coach for Women in Male-Dominated Industries | Host of The Balanced Leader. In male-dominated industries, many women are recognized for their intelligence, work ethic and strategic thinking. They're the ones others trust to deliver. They earn results—and respect. But when the moment calls for bold influence—advocating for themselves, disrupting the status quo or commanding a room—something shifts. Their voice softens. Their presence tightens. Their ideas are delivered with disclaimers. In my experience, this doesn't happen because they're unsure of their thinking, but because they've been conditioned to lead safely instead of powerfully. What I've Observed Across High-Stakes Industries As a former global finance leader turned executive coach, I've worked with senior women across law, tech, healthcare and finance. Time and again, I've witnessed a quiet but persistent pattern: The most capable women are often the least visible in power dynamics. Not because they lack skill, but because they've learned to stay credible by staying small. Even I wasn't immune to it. I once sat in an executive meeting with a question I knew needed to be asked. But I hesitated, waiting for the "perfect moment." Then my CEO asked it. I didn't speak because I hadn't yet learned to trust that I deserved to take up space. That moment stayed with me. It revealed something deeper: my own (and other women's) internalized belief that value must be earned and preapproved. Three Patterns That Quiet A Woman's Power Many women are raised to earn approval through achievement. They over-deliver, over-prepare and over-function their way into reliability. But reliable doesn't always translate to powerful. In fact, it often positions women as fixers rather than visionaries. Leadership presence isn't built on proof. It's built on grounded clarity. High-pressure moments—especially those involving power dynamics—often trigger the body's stress response. The signs aren't always obvious. Sometimes it looks like self-editing, deflecting or shrinking. Other times, it's a sudden flood of over-explanation or apology. Years ago, being challenged publicly would send me into a spiral. I believed I had to have all the answers in the moment or risk losing credibility. But what I've learned is that composure comes from regulation, not perfection. Leadership doesn't mean reacting quickly; it means responding intentionally. For me, that begins with taking a deep breath and deciding to slow down. Women are told to "speak up" and "own the room"—yet are penalized for doing so. To survive, many walk a tightrope: confident, but not too confident; straightforward, but not too direct; passionate, but not too emotional. Over time, leadership becomes a performance instead of an expression of truth. In my work, the women who step into real influence don't become louder. They become less edited. They stop asking for permission and start leading from alignment. Three Phrases Smart Women Say That Quiet Their Own Power Even the most accomplished women can unknowingly diminish their authority with subtle language shaped by decades of conditioning. Here are three phrases I hear often in coaching conversations and what they reveal: Translation: "I don't want to take up space unless I can justify it." One client said this after a successful board presentation. She wanted to create a new slide deck to "explain" her follow-up ideas. I asked her, "What if you didn't 'explain'? Just declare what you know to be true, and ask for confirmation instead of trying to convince?" That's the shift: from justification to declaration. That's where power lives. Translation: "I'm worried I'm being too much—or not enough." This phrase often comes from an unconscious need to check one's tone or clarity in real time. But it subtly undermines authority. A more powerful alternative? "Let me know if you'd like more detail." It keeps the door open, without shrinking the message. Translation: "I'm trying not to be a bother." The word "just" is a linguistic shrink ray. It minimizes the importance of what follows and is a common form of self-protection. Here's the fix: Drop the "just." Say what you mean—directly and unapologetically. Internal Safety Is The Missing Piece Most leadership training focuses on communication skills, influence tactics or presence techniques. But few address the invisible drivers beneath behavior: • The fear of being misunderstood • The tension in the body during challenge • The years of socialization that have taught women to lead via performance, not presence What's missing isn't capability. It's internal safety. When that's cultivated, everything changes. A Small Moment That Revealed A Big Shift One of my clients, a senior executive, made a mistake during a high-stakes presentation. In the past, she would have unraveled—rushed to recover, lost her composure, spiraled internally. Instead, she paused. She took a breath. She acknowledged the error calmly and continued leading. And her credibility didn't suffer; it actually strengthened. Because real power isn't about never faltering. It's about knowing how to come home to yourself quickly—especially under pressure. Presence, Not Perfection When women reclaim their internal authority, they stop seeking constant validation. They stop diluting their leadership to remain palatable. They begin to speak—not for approval—but from alignment. And that's the shift others notice. Because power isn't about being the loudest in the room. It's about trusting your voice enough to speak when it matters—without waiting for permission. Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
Forbes
08-07-2025
- General
- Forbes
Build Strategic Influence When You're Not In The Male Inner Circle
Yann Dang, Aspire Coaching | Leadership & Emotional Intelligence Coach for Women in Male-Dominated Industries | Host of The Balanced Leader. In male-dominated industries, many high-performing women rise through grit, expertise and results. Yet despite their proven value, they often find themselves on the outside of critical influence circles—especially when those circles are part of a long-standing male inner circle. They have a seat at the table, but not always a voice that drives decisions. Influence Requires More Than Access Visibility isn't the same as influence. You can be present in the room and still feel invisible in the conversation. You can share an idea—then watch it gain traction only when someone else repeats it. In my work as a leadership coach for high-achieving women, I've seen this play out repeatedly: capable, strategic leaders whose contributions are essential, yet whose power remains conditional. The reason isn't lack of ability; it's lack of strategic influence. The Influence Gap Isn't About Likability—It's About Strategy Influence is relational. It hinges on how others perceive your credibility, clarity and presence—especially when you're outside the male inner circle. But here's where it gets complicated: Many women feel conflicted about how to show up in these spaces. They don't want to compromise their values, self-censor or play into outdated norms. So they hold back. They wait for fairness. They resent the system—and understandably so. The Influence Shift: From Frustration To Authentic Connection Influence isn't about belonging. It's about being understood—even by those who don't look like you or come from the same networks. To gain access, leaders must expand their toolkit—and often flex behaviors traditionally outside their comfort zone. The goal? Move from oppositional positioning to strategic partnership without losing authenticity. But before that shift can happen, a deeper challenge must be acknowledged ... When Frustration Becomes Self-Sabotage In my work with senior women in male-dominated environments, I've seen how resentment—however justified—can erode strategic clarity. When a woman begins to believe 'they won't listen anyway' or 'they only promote each other,' she may stop showing up with influence in mind. She becomes guarded in meetings, short in emails or reactive in tone. Over time, the very behaviors meant to protect her power start to undermine it. Instead of positioning herself as a thought partner, she's perceived as emotionally distant or resistant to feedback. Instead of seeking allies, she avoids those who hold influence—especially those inside the male inner circle. Instead of asking clearly for what she wants, she waits for recognition that may never come. This isn't a flaw—it's a protective response. But one that quietly reinforces the very power dynamics she's working so hard to change. Influence Requires Intentionality, Not Approval Strategic influence doesn't mean people-pleasing or passivity. It means knowing how to: • Speak directly without defensiveness • Frame ideas in ways that resonate with others' priorities • Build trust before challenging the status quo • Ask for what you need—even when it feels risky This kind of leadership is nuanced. It's not about being louder. It's about being heard—because your message is tailored, timely and anchored in authority. A Real Example Of Strategic Influence In Action A senior leader I worked with was frustrated by being excluded from key strategy discussions. Her instinct was to pull back—stop offering ideas unless explicitly asked. Instead, she chose a different path. She identified a shared priority with the COO, proactively shaped a solution and presented it with clarity and confidence. By aligning her message with the broader business need—and delivering it with grounded authority—she gained influence not by force, but by focus. That one move repositioned her as a trusted strategic partner. Building Influence Is A Long Game—But It Starts With One Shift Influence isn't granted. It's cultivated. And it begins the moment a leader stops waiting for permission—and starts leading with clarity, composure and conscious connection. For women navigating the dynamics of the male inner circle, this shift is everything. Because you don't need to change who you are to be influential—you need to trust that your voice, when used strategically, is powerful. Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
