Latest news with #allyship
Forbes
4 days ago
- General
- Forbes
Allyship Is Leadership: Why People With Power Are An Untapped Resource
Flat vector illustration. Coqual, a research firm focused on inclusion, published the 'What Majority Men Really Think About Diversity and Inclusion' report to help understand how dominant group members felt about diversity and inclusion. Their report revealed an interesting finding. In response to the question, 'How important is diversity and inclusion to you at work?' only 10% said it was not important at all, 48% responded not very or somewhat important, with 42% saying very or extremely important. Coqual labeled these groups accordingly: 10% detractors, 48% persuadables, and 42% true believers. Based on this data, dominant group members appear to be open to diversity and inclusion, despite the perceptions of backlash and corporate retreat. The motivator for these persuadables: leaders who buy into the value proposition of diversity, inclusion, and the core tenets of allyship are 62% more likely to occupy the C-suite. Coqual's findings are consistent with qualitative data my team has gathered in listening sessions or focus groups. We have facilitated these sessions with middle management in organizations to help understand their perceptions of diversity and inclusion. The primary barrier for allyship is the lack of time or prioritization by the organization for them to attend allyship training or Employee Resource Group inclusion programs, followed by a lack of clear direction on what to say or do, resulting in inaction. These hopeful allies often want to be inclusive yet struggle to prioritize the time necessary to educate themselves and show up intentionally and consistently. Allyship Benefits As a social species, humans feel pressure to conform to social expectations, to be helpful and valued by the community. It was and still is necessary for our survival. We have evolved through being in groups and cannot survive alone; we need each other. Allyship principles hit this deep primal need to be relevant to others, to belong, to be a part of something bigger than us. Mental Health America's research indicates 'that those who consistently help other people experience less depression, greater calm, fewer pains, and better health. They may even live longer.' If you want to be happier and live longer, start with relationships. Try being a better ally. The benefits of allyship come in two primary forms, the human case and the business case, or research-backed evidence that diversity and inclusion lead to better outcomes. The human case is more emotional and stickier. It starts by examining your core values, your personal and professional relationships, and your own experiences with people of different backgrounds and lived experiences. In Potentia Talent Consulting Limited's February 2025 Male Allyship survey, they found the primary benefits of allyship were increased trust, connections, and ability to work across different cultures. In a fast-paced global economy, these skills are revered. In my allyship workshops, I usually share my ally why as an example. Allyship is personal for me. As a mother of a child with autism and an LGBTQ+ child and mental health issues present in my family, allyship is a way of life. I want the world to be fairer and more inclusive for my family. I also share a story about my daughter drawing a picture of her playing with a friend. It was the summer of 2020, the height of the Black Lives Matter movement, and we had just gotten a box of the new culturally diverse skin tone crayons. Jane, six years old at the time, drew a child of color asking them to be her friend, unprompted. When I inquired about the drawing, she simply replied, 'I want friends that are different from me.' Allyship in principle is so simple, children get it intuitively. It's as we age that we unlearn our curiosity and this deeply primal need for connection. As you reflect on your personal ally why, consider both the human case and the business case. I find that both are critically important to center in your allyship journey. One of my clients, Forté Foundation, an organization that promotes gender equality and allyship in higher education, has led a men as allies program since 2016. One of the first activities they recommend to senior male executives is conducting an interview with someone with different identities from themselves. Hundreds of alumni over the years have validated that this activity was most impactful for them as an ally. In their program, Forté recommends that the man ask a woman in their life about their personal experiences with their gender identity through a series of semi-structured open-ended questions that start with what or how. Consider facilitating a conversation with someone different from yourself by asking: A strong word of caution here. Please do not interview someone you have not already built trust with; it may have a negative effect on the relationship. Also, do not only talk to your children, especially your daughters. Having a daughter is one reason to be an ally, but it needs to go deeper than that. The business case for diversity and inclusion is strong. McKinsey & Company is best known for their bi-annual Diversity Matters report. Since 2015, they have reported significantly higher probabilities of higher profitability associated with diversity and inclusion. Their 2024 report found a 39% higher chance of profitability with a gender and ethnically diverse leadership team compared to industry peers. What other opportunity in business could give you this type of return? The caveat is that diverse representation is not enough to achieve these outcomes. The organization also needs to have an inclusive environment to fully feel this impact. Diversity does not work without inclusion. Thus, the need for allies. Boston Consulting Group's study on How Diverse Teams Boost Innovation's biggest takeaway is a 'statistically significant correlation between the diversity of management teams and overall innovation. Companies that reported above-average diversity on their management teams also reported innovation revenue that was 19% higher than that of companies with below-average leadership diversity: 45% of total revenue versus just 26%.' In a hypercompetitive world where it is easy to copy a product, service, or price overnight, an inclusive culture is much more of a sustainable competitive advantage. It takes time to build and maintain an inclusive culture, making it difficult for a competitor to copy quickly. Perhaps the strongest evidence we have for the business case for diversity and inclusion is the newest generation entering the workforce: Generation Z. Born 1997 to 2012, Gen Z is unlike previous generations that were less likely to question authority and abide by workplace norms. They were raised in a much different environment. Growing up in the height of immigration in the United States, there is no majority race for Gen Z and they increasingly see gender as fluid or a continuum rather than a binary. The world is not black or white or women or men to them. I teach a class on inclusive leadership at the Kelley School of Business at Indiana University, and my students teach me that they were raised in a diverse environment and expect inclusion of differences. That is an important distinction for leaders who hope to be relevant to future consumers and employees. study validates this with 83% of Gen Z prioritizing diversity and inclusion when deciding where to apply for employment. Allyship is about relevance. There is also a misperception that diversity and inclusion is costly and only benefits certain groups. More often, what works better for some people works better for all people. When curb cuts went into effect in 1990 with the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act, bikeriders, stroller users, and small children also benefited, not just people in wheelchairs. Closed captions for people with hearing disabilities also benefit others who are visual learners. Texting was initially intended for people with hearing disabilities and now is a widely used form of communication we all benefit from. Despite its lack of popularity and the Supreme Court overturning affirmative action in 2023, white women benefited the most from affirmative action, receiving 63% of diversity and inclusion leadership roles over the time period it was administered. Inclusion rarely impacts a small group of people; it often benefits dominant groups too. Oppression hurts everyone, not just historically marginalized groups. Citigroup found racism costs $16T due to systemic issues of redlining affecting lending, wages, and housing. This hurts everyone when some groups are not able to fully participate in society. Making environments more neuroinclusive also benefits neurotypical people who also experience sensory overload. Homophobia and transphobia limit the ability to serve a $1T LGBTQ+ market. Just because you may not agree with or even fully understand someone else's identities should not prevent you from trying to be an ally. I will forever be an ally in training, as someone who has studied and taught inclusion for over ten years. Allyship SWOT Analysis At this point, I realize I have made a big assumption that you are ready to be an ally. If you have processed your fears and acknowledged that your power is a way for you to be helpful, you are likely ready for allyship. If you still are harboring fears or are unconvinced of the power you hold, maybe hit pause before moving forward. Performative allyship often creates more harm than good. Ally is not a perfect term. To act as an ally, you do not need to call yourself an ally. In fact, it is ill-advised to self-proclaim to be an ally. Allyship is in the eye of the beholder. Consider labeling yourself as an aspiring ally to help marginalized communities know you are open to support and sharing your power. There is no consensus on what we call people who are helpful to others who are different from themselves. I have conducted two informal polls on LinkedIn with this question in mind, what do we call people who help others different from themselves, in 2017 and 2025 and got mixed results both times. There is no one preferred word, with the most votes going to call them nothing at all or simple terms like 'good human.' People also prefer manbassador, accomplice, femannist, or advocate, yet there is no consensus on the word we use. I'm indifferent on what we call it, but we do need language to describe this behavior. If allyship was more common, I would agree we wouldn't need a word for it. The reality is we need language to describe these concepts. Without language, meaning is lost. Leadership has been well researched and studied. In 2016, Deloitte coined the six signature traits of inclusive leadership: cognizance or self-awareness, curiosity, cultural intelligence, commitment, courage, and collaboration. Rarely are leaders effective at all of these trades. Usually, there's a basket of strengths and those that you might choose to develop. In fact, self-awareness is shockingly low for leaders, with 85% of people claiming to be self-aware and only 15% have achieved that status, according to research by Dr. Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist and author. The Intercultural Development Inventory (IDI) measures cultural competency using five stages of development for inclusive leadership or allyship. Reflect on this continuum and be honest about where you might be now. Most people progress through these cultural competencies at their own pace. For some, the human case and business case can accelerate the process through denial and polarization. That is where fear and refusal to acknowledge power live. Having a strong why is essential before doing the work of acceptance and adaptation. Be honest about the stage that you are currently occupying, and remember you may occupy different stages in considering different identities or lived experiences of others. There are no shortcuts or fast forward buttons, as allyship is a practice. 'Success' might be considered not naming yourself as an ally, but rather being called an ally by someone in a community you want to impact. It's important to acknowledge each phase as a chance to be in an ally and realize that people can move toward greater skill, and move back to learning mode again, when they encounter challenges. The agility, humility, and curiosity of the aspiring inclusive leader is the key. One of my favorite exercises to facilitate as a part of an allyship program is what I call an allyship SWOT analysis. Like business, the S stands for your personal strengths, W represents your personal weaknesses, O's are opportunities to leverage your strengths, and T's are threats you need to mitigate for your weaknesses. Reflect on previous chapters, thinking about your fears as your weaknesses and access points to power as your strengths. Complete your allyship SWOT with guiding questions below: We know that with exposure to diversity, an inclusive mindset usually follows. Psychologists call this 'exposure therapy,' where they attempt to get their patients to increase their exposure to experiences they are fearful of to help lower their fear and anxiety through exposure over time. For diversity, this can also work when done intentionally, consistently, and gradually over time. For many Americans, university or their first job is their first experience with diversity. For me, that was my first corporate job working as a warehouse supervisor. For the first time, I was working with people from vastly different backgrounds, racially, culturally, and socioeconomically. At first, I felt those differences viscerally. I was anxious and fearful. Over time, as I got to know people as humans, I learned to embrace those differences. It made our team stronger. We ultimately won the coveted chairman's award for our team's engagement, a 95% score where industry averages hovered around 70%, an achievement that we would not have had without a diverse and inclusive workforce. Employee engagement is highly correlated with business performance. Highly engaged teams are 21% more profitable than organizations with low levels of engagement. Engaged companies grow profits up to three times faster than their competitors. As an ally, lean into your strengths and try to overcome your weaknesses. Expose yourself proactively to people and experiences that are different. It will make you a better ally, and a more effective leader. Allyship Is Leadership Reflect when you have been a part of a diverse and inclusive team, weren't the outcomes better? If you are unsure, this is what it looks like when you have a diverse and inclusive group: Allyship is leadership. There is no shortage of leadership books. Most focus on the importance of being self-aware and leading by example, self-awareness about understanding our lived experiences and biases. Because most of us have affinity bias ('like me' bias), we also have networks that are like us. Ninety five percent of people have like-me networks and 90% of people hire people from their networks, according to HubSpot research. Hiring managers are more likely to choose people they would like to have lunch with versus objectively qualified for the job. This is an opportunity for improved leadership through allyship. This reinforces the need for allies to broaden networks and grant equitable access to power and resources. The time is now to address this most certain business problem. Inclusion is non-negotiable for Generation Z. I have frequent conversations with my business school students and can tell you with certainty that younger generations were raised to care about and discuss social issues, and that does not stop in the workplace. Like a cake that has already been baked, inclusive values are inside Generation Z; there is no removing it. If you want to be relevant to future generations as a leader, consider this your call to action to allyship. What small step will you take today to share your power? August 8 is International Allyship Day. Celebrate and engage people with power in allyship and inclusion.
The Independent
6 days ago
- General
- The Independent
Why I, as a straight woman, will be marching at Trans+ Pride
I'm not a marcher at heart. I tend to panic in crowds or really anywhere without a good mobile signal if I'm not on horseback. I don't attend parades because they're usually too hot. In short, I'm like a rather pathetic indoor plant. Nonetheless, I will be donning tabard and face mask to steward the accessibility block of London Trans+ Pride: the 'plus' is to include anyone's identity; the mask protects the disabled marchers who lead the march. I'll be there with the many other non-trans people who have attended excruciatingly comprehensive training sessions on Zoom, all wanting to show support for a community who have been made Villain of the Week by a tiny yet overexposed force desperate to stamp on someone more vulnerable than themselves. Certainly, this was why my friend Sara and I first volunteered last year; neither particularly keen joiner-inners, both requiring continuous applications of SPF50 to safely set foot outdoors in July, but rendered so cross by what was being said about trans people in our name that we did what generations have done and channelled our Inner Aunt. Certainly not in The Handmaid's Tale sense, and perhaps slightly less in the formidable Wodehosian, but in allyship; caring about people who aren't your children, and fulsomely advocating for them. I had no idea what on earth to wear to a march, or who would be there, so I wore a wonderfully pedantic T-shirt made by my friend Helen Zaltzman for her language podcast The Allusionist, highlighting that the singular use of 'they' has been in use since 1375. In the lack of a protest sunhat, I wore a cap I'd won in a competition by the, erm, Equestrian Noticeboard. Shortly after I arrived, another steward said hello. It turned out that they worked for a very popular horsey brand and had been volunteering at Trans+ Pride marches since their child came out. Offering support to this march as a straight cisgender person matters (sorry if you dislike that term – please blame academic science). The unfolding campaign against trans people is a ringingly clear repetition of Britain's appalling treatment of gay men through the 80s and 90s. The highest-profile curb on trans rights came in April, when the Supreme Court ruled the legal definition of a woman is someone born biologically female. The focus on trans women – never trans men – narrows the idea of 'What is a woman?' to one that affects anyone who doesn't fit stereotyped femininity. When I was a contestant on Only Connect in 2022, someone tweeted that they were 'supporting the trans team', presumably because I am a very tall Second Alto with my dad's jawline. I took this as both a compliment and further proof that anyone who says 'You can just tell ' where appearance is concerned is unrelentingly stupid. The trans people I know are objectively more attractive than I am, for one. The 'gender critical' crowd's nonsensical rubbishing of anyone who seems different impacts us all – not just in terms of how we are perceived, but in taking us backwards. It is rolling back our humanity. The most moving signs I saw at last year's Trans+ Pride were those held by parents, warmly offering free hugs to people whose own parents didn't accept them. It reminded me of last month's exhibition of the UK Aids Memorial Quilt at the Tate Modern and everything I have learned about the Aids epidemic when families shunned their children or banished their partners. Being 'critical' of someone's right to exist is perilously close to fascism. The United States has shown where such anti-freedom legislation can lead in the shortest time. Rolling back on trans rights is a dangerous path – and one that entirely distracts from the real issue. No man, God bless them, needs to spend years transitioning in order to attack women. Anyone with that cruelty in mind can do so by simply walking through their front door. It is important for us to stand up now, however much we feel it doesn't affect us, because, truly, it does. In the years since Section 28 was ended, I've seen relatives' views on gay people evolve from 'He must be terribly sad' to greater understanding. It hasn't 'made' any of my straight relatives gay. My own understanding has evolved, too, because a side effect of Section 28 was breeding ignorance – and that despite the work Channel 4 did to quietly educate British kids through late-night documentary strands and Eurotrash. New rules suppressing trans discussion in schools, brought in by this Labour government, won't stop young people questioning their identity. It will only make them less safe – just as it did when 'gay' rang out as an insult across BBC radio and school playing fields. The legacy of Section 28 showed us Britain that suppression only wounds; it doesn't prevent. However much their identity might frighten you – or, perhaps, society's response to this identity – you cannot stop someone being who they are, only delay it. Nor can you make anyone what they are not. The government may have forgotten the sins of the past – even, and most shamefully, those among them who themselves are gay – but I have not. I have no wish to return to being the ignorant person I was, nor letting wildly over-amplified voices overtake society's reason. Life unquestionably has particular challenges for each of us, but those of us who are heterosexual and non-trans are lucky enough to be playing in society's default mode. Standing up for the rights of our fellows under challenging circumstances is not limited to the distant past. It continues to be the most British of values – and the right thing to do.
Forbes
20-07-2025
- General
- Forbes
The Invisible Current: How Inclusion And Allyship Unlock Untapped Power
Underwater view with tuna school fish in ocean. Sea life in transparent water For many of us, power feels like an elusive concept, something held by a select few at the top. Yet, what if the truth is far more common? What if, like fish unaware of the water they swim in, most of us possess more power than we realize? This unacknowledged power, when recognized and strategically shared, becomes the bedrock of true inclusion and impactful allyship. In today's dynamic professional landscape, understanding and leveraging this invisible current of power isn't just about doing good; it's about fostering innovation, driving growth, and creating a truly equitable environment for all. From "Power Over" to "Power With": A Paradigm Shift in Allyship The traditional view of power often leans into a "power over" dynamic—a hierarchical model where control and dominance reign. Think of the executive who says, "I'll talk to your manager on your behalf," or the seasoned professional who insists, "I had it hard, so you also must work hard." While seemingly helpful or even motivational, this approach inadvertently reinforces existing power structures and can breed dependency. It centers the aspiring ally, rather than empowering the individual they aim to support. The true essence of allyship, however, lies in shifting to a "power with" mentality. This involves standing shoulder-to-shoulder with others, facing challenges as equal partners. As Bill Carmody, CEO of Trepoint, eloquently shared in our interview for my new book We Want You: An Allyship Guide for People with Power, his allyship journey began with the realization that he possessed rights others did not. This spurred him to consciously recruit more women and people of color, and to actively amplify their voices when they were marginalized. This isn't about giving away power; it's about sharing it, recognizing that power, far from being finite, is an infinite game that strengthens and expands when distributed. Consider the contrast: instead of "I will set up the meeting for you," an ally practicing "power with" might say, "I'll introduce you, and I trust you to manage the meeting. Let me know how I can help." This empowers the individual, fosters autonomy, and builds a more collaborative relationship. It's about brainstorming strategies together, offering empathy, and asking, "What does support look like for you?" This subtle yet profound shift from a top-down approach to a lateral partnership is fundamental to cultivating genuine inclusion. Values-Centered Allyship: Connecting Beliefs to Action At the heart of effective allyship lies a deep alignment with shared values. Instead of dwelling on differences, true inclusion through allyship focuses on recognizing and centering common values. According to the Schwartz Theory of Basic Values, our values are deeply held beliefs that shape our motivations and behavior. They are not merely abstract concepts but powerful drivers of our actions. For instance, if "security" is a core value, an ally might prioritize creating a safe and stable environment for colleagues, becoming a trusted confidante for challenges. If "universalism" resonates, as it did in the gay marriage example, the focus shifts to understanding, appreciating, and protecting the welfare of all people. The key is to move beyond mere proclamations and embody these values through concrete actions. An organization that prioritizes core values can foster inclusion by unpacking the specific behaviors that support them. When values like respect, trust, or belonging are clearly connected to inclusive behaviors, it encourages more individuals to step up as allies. It's about making a habit of connecting your actions, and those of your team, to these inclusive values. The Responsibility of Power: A Call to Allyship Leaders, by virtue of their position and influence, inherently wield significant power. Jeffrey Pfeffer's "7 Rules of Power" distinguishes between formal power, derived from job titles, and informal power, which stems from personal qualities, relationships, and expertise. Regardless of its source, power presents a profound opportunity to help others. Rather than viewing it as a negative or something to hoard, we should reframe power as a chance to be an ally. The challenge, however, is that power can often feel invisible to those who possess it. Like the fish in the water, it can be difficult for those in dominant groups (e.g., white, male, financially secure) to recognize that their lived experiences and access to resources may differ significantly from others. As an allyship trainer, I like an identity exercise, like the one licensed from the Cultural Intelligence Center, can make this invisible power visible. By reflecting on various identities—race, gender, socioeconomic class, abilities, and more—and assessing how safe one feels expressing them in the workplace, individuals can uncover unconscious biases and power differentials. It's crucial to understand that the goal of this self-awareness isn't to induce guilt or shame but to acknowledge the power that comes from proximity to other powerful individuals or from simply being part of a dominant group. While being in a dominant group doesn't guarantee access to power, it often confers the benefit of the doubt and predisposes others to assume power, even in the absence of a formal title. Consider the sales leader who unconsciously defaulted to engaging with dominant-group-presenting individuals in a mixed group, misreading the room and ultimately losing sales opportunities. This highlights the real "opportunity cost of exclusion": lost sales, reduced profits, and diminished impact. Or, another well-intentioned leader who was "flabbergasted" when his female staff member asked him to present her idea because "they will take it more seriously if it comes from you." This raw moment revealed the ingrained power dynamics at play. Instead of simply presenting others' ideas as their own (a "power over" approach), allies share their power. That might mean inviting others to the meeting and pre-endorsing their ideas, using their influence to amplify others' voice. By ensuring proper credit, the "power with" approach creates more opportunity for everyone involved. Unlocking Your Potential for Allyship If you're still not convinced of your own power, or if you're unsatisfied with the quality of your relationships, the good news is that practicing allyship might be the perfect solution. It's about deepening existing relationships, building new and stronger connections, and ultimately, using your power for good. Harvard's study on happiness finds that relationships are the biggest driver of happiness. Want to be happier? Try being a better ally to others. No one has life easy. Allies refuse to let their own hardships define the experiences of others. Instead, they transform their past struggles into fuel for preventing similar difficulties for others. "If I had it hard, what could I do to prevent that from happening to other people?" This reframing is the essence of compassionate allyship. It's time to discard the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality, which falsely assumes equal access to power and resources. Not everyone has bootstraps because not everyone is swimming in the same water. Practical Steps to Power-Sharing for Inclusion You possess power, and you can use it to foster inclusion. Here are concrete actions to reframe power as an opportunity for allyship: These actions, though seemingly small, create significant ripples. A single email, a meeting invitation, or a supportive mention can achieve more in seconds than others might accomplish in weeks. By intentionally including others and sharing your power, you enhance your own relevance, enrich your team's perspective, and contribute to the overall success and profitability of your organization. Power, when wielded for good, is undeniably a force for good. It's an open invitation to embrace your role as an ally and create a more inclusive and equitable world. What small step will you take today to share your power? August 8 is International Allyship Day. Celebrate and engage people with power in allyship and inclusion.
Forbes
13-07-2025
- General
- Forbes
The Paradox Of Power: 3 Fears That Hinder Allyship In The Workplace
Shot of a woman posing with a chalk illustration of flexing muscles against a dark background In today's rapidly evolving professional landscape, allyship and inclusion aren't just buzzwords; they're essential pillars for innovation, growth, and a truly equitable work environment. Yet, for many in positions of power, the path to becoming an effective ally is paved with unseen obstacles – not malicious intent, but deeply ingrained fears that subtly, yet powerfully, hold them back. Understanding these "fear stories" is the critical first step in fostering genuine allyship. The journey to becoming an inclusive leader often demands a paradoxical mindset: embracing vulnerability while wielding influence, and stepping back to uplift others while maintaining one's own standing. There are three key fears that frequently trip up even the most well-intentioned individuals. All Risk, No Reward: The Vulnerability Vortex One of the most significant barriers to allyship is the perception that the risks outweigh the rewards. As Jennifer Brown, author of How to Be an Inclusive Leader, highlights, "it is a big ask for leaders to be more visible and open themselves up to being scrutinized in an unforgiving environment." This scrutiny often manifests as a fear of vulnerability – of making mistakes, admitting ignorance, showing weakness, or being perceived as inauthentic. The reality is, mistakes are inevitable. You will say the wrong thing, use outdated language, or commit a microaggression. That's part of the learning curve in allyship. The crucial element isn't avoiding errors, which is impossible, but rather owning them, apologizing sincerely, and committing to improvement. This willingness to be imperfect fosters trust and demonstrates a genuine commitment to the journey of inclusion. Furthermore, admitting "I don't know" can feel counterintuitive for leaders. Yet, true allyship demands this humility. Pretending to have all the answers, especially concerning the lived experiences of others, is not only disingenuous but actively harmful. It's about asking thoughtful, open-ended questions and actively educating oneself, rather than centering one's own experiences. For instance, if a colleague of color shares an experience of racial bias, responding with emotional upset (even if valid) can shift the focus back to the person in power, burdening the individual seeking support. True allyship requires processing those emotions elsewhere, maintaining focus on the person who needs support. There's also the fear of showing weakness. Leaders often feel compelled to project an image of unwavering competence. However, authentic strength lies in vulnerability. Sharing struggles or uncertainties allows for deeper human connection and creates space for open dialogue. It signals that you're a fellow human on a learning journey, not a flawless savior. People are often drawn to authenticity and imperfection more than perceived perfection. Finally, the fear of being seen as "trying too hard" or having ulterior motives can stifle nascent efforts. While sincerity is paramount, early enthusiasm for allyship might sometimes appear "messy." The key is ensuring actions genuinely center the voices and experiences of marginalized communities, rather than being performative. True allyship is about consistent, selfless action, especially when it's challenging. Status Threat: The Zero-Sum Fallacy Inclusion initiatives, particularly those focused on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), can trigger a "status threat" among majority groups. As Harvard Business Review explains, those who have historically benefited from being in the majority may perceive DEI as a zero-sum game, fearing that gains for minority groups necessarily mean losses for them. Mishel Horta, Head of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging at DHL Express Americas, uses a powerful analogy: "It is not about us versus them, it's not a zero-sum game. It is about broadening the flashlight focus beyond the dominant group, they are still centered. It is about sharing and broadening the focus of the light with others outside of the initial focus. We all benefit from being seen by the light." This reframing is crucial: allyship is about expanding opportunity, not reallocating it in a punitive way. Given that a significant majority of leadership positions are held by men (for example, in 2023, women held only 29% of CEO positions at Fortune 500 companies, while people of color held only 15% of CEO positions), this fear disproportionately impacts white men. Allyship can challenge existing gender norms, leading to fears of negative peer pressure, backlash from other men, a perceived loss of masculinity, or being negatively labeled. It can feel like swimming against the current when the unspoken code is solidarity with the group in power. For example, a man speaking out against gender inequality or a white person addressing racism might face pushback. The concept of "masculinity loss" is often rooted in outdated notions of strength. True allyship expands this definition, demonstrating that empathy, compassion, and standing up for justice are indeed powerful traits. It's about being secure enough in your identity to challenge harmful norms. The lack of visible role models can make allyship feel isolating. It takes courage to be among the first or few in your circle actively engaged in this work. This underscores the importance of building communities of allies and sharing experiences. Furthermore, the fear of being "cancelled" or labeled ("woke warrior," "snowflake") can be paralyzing. These labels often serve to silence dissent. However, allyship demands courage to stand up for what's right, even in the face of criticism, particularly from those who benefit from the status quo. Allyship is not about saviorism. Concepts like "white saviorism," where white individuals are portrayed as "rescuing" people of color (as seen in films like Hidden Figures or The Help which, despite their narratives, have been criticized for centering white perspectives), undermine genuine allyship. Active allyship involves taking risks and challenging the status quo, even if it doesn't directly benefit the ally. It's about trusting that a workplace that is better for historically marginalized groups will ultimately be better for everyone. A rising tide truly does lift all boats. Irrelevance: The Ego's Grip Perhaps the most potent fear, as Brené Brown's research on shame highlights, is the fear of irrelevance. In the context of allyship, this manifests as anxieties about loss aversion, worries about retaliation, ego preservation, and the struggle to decenter oneself. Our natural aversion to loss often makes us overestimate what we might lose by embracing change, even positive change. We get comfortable with the status quo, even if it's unjust. Allyship requires letting go of this fear and recognizing that a more equitable world benefits everyone, even if it means relinquishing unearned advantages. The unspoken worry about "revenge" from marginalized groups once they gain power can also be a deterrent. However, research by Melinda Gates in The Moment of Lift found the opposite: when women or people of color gain access to power, they are more likely to share it, not seek revenge. Allyship is about creating a just system, not protecting one's position. Our own ego can be a significant hurdle. The fear of losing control or power can prevent sharing it effectively. True allyship requires checking one's ego at the door, prioritizing what's right over being right, and humbly learning from others. Decentering ourselves is another critical, yet challenging, aspect. We are conditioned to be the main characters in our own stories. Allyship demands we step aside and amplify the voices of others, acknowledging that our experiences are not universal. It's about using our platforms to uplift, not self-promote. The risk of shame can be paralyzing. Shame about past actions, biases, or lack of knowledge is understandable. While shame can motivate change, it can also freeze us. The key is to acknowledge these feelings, learn from them, and commit to moving forward. The fear of a "zero-sum game" – the belief that supporting others means rooting against oneself – is also prevalent. While some resources are finite (e.g., only 500 companies in the Fortune 500), the pie often expands when inclusion thrives, creating new opportunities for all. Moving Forward: Becoming a Better Ally Understanding these fears is the first critical step toward transforming them into opportunities for growth and deeper engagement in allyship. The journey requires self-reflection and courage, but the rewards—a more innovative, equitable, and ultimately successful workplace for everyone—are immeasurable. Want to learn more? August 8 is International Allyship Day. Celebrate and engage people with power in allyship and inclusion.
Fast Company
28-06-2025
- General
- Fast Company
A practical guide to being an ally in the workplace
Pride Month is here, and there's no question we've come a long way since the first Pride events, which advocated for collective solidarity, individual identity, and resistance to discrimination and violence. Yet we still have much further to go. According to one recent report from the University of California at Los Angeles, nearly half of LGBTQ workers have experienced workplace discrimination or harassment at some point in their professional lives. Add in microaggressions, or the everyday slights that happen in plain sight in front of colleagues and managers, and the number is even higher. Here's where allies can make a difference—and there are plenty of them. One PRRI public opinion report indicates that three-quarters of Americans support policies that protect LGBTQ Americans from discrimination in housing, employment, and public accommodation. But being an ally to any minority is hard, especially when it's not always obvious when someone identifies as LBGTQIA+. So how can you be a better ally and bolster inclusion at work? Here are three ways (plus a bonus!) to be a more effective ally to the LGBTQIA+ community, from a business leader who also happens to be a lesbian. 1. Educate yourself Allyship isn't a passive thing that shows up without effort. Take it upon yourself to understand the struggles of your LGBTQIA+ colleagues and actively try to create change in your workplace. The LGBTQIA+ label is a huge catchall (and a long acronym by any measure). Learning about the everyday experiences of even part of this community is a great starting point to better understanding the struggles we face. In turn, you can take steps to become a more effective ally and drive informed change. At the very least, it'll help you recognize when you have the opportunity to stand up for, or against, something on our behalf. Checking unconscious biases is also part of this narrative. Being self-aware to identify behaviors we're not usually conscious of is the first step in learning how to avoid unintentionally acting on them. 2. Recognize your privilege and use it for good You don't have to apologize for it, you don't have to hide it, but you do need to understand your privilege and the power it bestows. Being a heterosexual person in the workplace—and in the world—gives you the chance to make a difference. It allows you to challenge bias, tackle unfairness, and effect change. And for a heteronormative individual, you can often do those things with far lesser risk. So be vocal. This doesn't have to be in a big, highly visible way—it can be as simple as respecting someone's chosen name or pronouns, and encouraging or gently correcting other people if they defer to the traditional he/she binaries. You have the armor of privilege. Embrace it and then use it to open doors for those who don't have that same protection. Incidentally, having these conversations outside of the workplace with family and friends educates them on what being an effective ally can look like and what they can do to help. The more people we can bring to a place of understanding and support, the deeper the change. 3. Change the culture Consistency is a major win when it comes to good allyship. It's essential to building trust and driving lasting change, so model inclusive behaviors. How? Good allies share opportunities with others: they cut out (and call out) microaggressions thinly disguised as banter; they use inclusive language with intention and sincerity; they listen to a member of the community over coffee and welcome someone into their space. It can be as simple as being the voice against presumptions in the workplace. I've seen this myself when colleagues default to gendered generalities. For example, there's using he/him pronouns when referring to generic or hypothetical humans ('Whoever we bring onboard, he should be highly skilled'). Or assuming someone's gender on the basis of their name when you don't actually know the person or how they identify ('I haven't met Ryan, but I hope he's top-notch'). By gently correcting ('Whoever we bring onboard, they should be highly skilled' or 'I haven't met Ryan, but I hope they're top-notch'), you remind others that gender isn't always what it seems—and that not everyone fits neatly into a gender normative box. It can also be about consciously changing patterned social behaviors. For example, if a coworker mentions that they're married, don't assume they have a husband or wife of a different gender. I can't count the number of times colleagues and clients have asked me 'What does your husband do?' over the years. I've had to come out again and again over the span of my career. Instead, consider asking about who they most enjoy spending time with outside of work or who the important people are in their life. It's an open question that, when asked in an authentic and respectful way, invites the other person to share within their own level of comfort. Continue to challenge the microaggressions. Culture change doesn't come solely from the top. It comes from repetition, from small corrections, and from people like you choosing to do the right thing consistently. The bonus: Don't beat yourself up The ever-evolving language of inclusion means we all trip up occasionally, even with the best of intentions. No one expects you to get it right every time. Don't sweat it. Even we trip up within our own community, be it over chosen names, pronouns, or how we support our loved ones who are transitioning. Give yourself some grace. If you make a mistake, apologize, learn, and keep going. Don't let a slip-up stop you from showing up. Allyship isn't about being perfect. It's rarely about big gestures. It's about showing up, paying attention, and doing what you can consistently. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means stepping forward on someone else's behalf. And sometimes it just means being someone others know they can count on. The small, everyday actions add up. And when enough people do them, that's when real change happens.
