Latest news with #assertiveness
Yahoo
3 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
DEAR ABBY: Retiree is finally ready to make time for herself
DEAR ABBY: I have spent 40 years serving the public and my country, putting other people first and feeling guilty if I didn't. However, I am becoming resentful of the demands for my time. I'm retired, and my husband still works. We have always split the expenses 50-50, even though I make less than 40% of his income. Once I retired, my share of the household chores and errands increased from 75% to 90%. I wanted to make life easier for my husband, but now he expects me to run personal errands for him, too. All the wear and tear and gas usage is borne by my car, which is considerably older than his. I have a friend and walking partner who has been having different issues she needs help with. She has always talked about the close friends she has known for decades and sees regularly. They all live about 20 minutes away and are retired, in good health and able to drive. I offered her my help in the past, but now she and her friends think I should be her go-to person since I live closer to her than they do. I have my own schedule and routine now. I like having some days free to do what I feel like and not have to fulfil demands from others. How do I let people know MY time is valuable and discourage them from expecting me to help them? — TOO NICE AND HELPFUL DEAR TOO NICE: It is not a crime to tell someone you don't have time to do what they want you to do. It's time to sign up for some assertiveness training so you can learn how to say no. (No, I'm not kidding.) If you do as I suggest, it might even improve your marriage. Your doctor or health insurance company can refer you to someone qualified. DEAR ABBY: The floor I work on has a cluster of offices surrounding a central kitchen area. Fifteen of us share the appliances, including a hot water reservoir with a tap. The building is old and has lead pipes, so a service brings in large plastic bottles for a water cooler. Usually, whoever arrives first in the morning fills the tank on the water heater from the cooler, and we all use it to make hot drinks during the day. I just found out that a new employee has been filling the tank from the contaminated tap! When I asked her about it, she said that the microplastics in the water jugs were more dangerous than the lead in the pipes. She's very committed to this idea and is not going to budge. I don't think this is right. I will heat my own water from now on, but how should I warn the others in the office? The source of our tea water seems like a silly thing to start an office tiff over, but I also think people need to know their water is unsafe. — NOT DRINKING IN NEW YORK DEAR NOT DRINKING: I agree the employees in your office should know about this. At least they will be on notice about which 'poison' they are consuming. Report this to HR or your employer, so the announcement can come from on high and you can stay out of the line of fire. — Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Globe and Mail
16-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Globe and Mail
Your daily horoscope: May 16, 2025
IF TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY Set yourself targets that you can reach under your own steam rather than having to rely on the energy and goodwill of other people. Also, have a serious clear-out of all those possessions you no longer need. Clutter is the enemy of creativity. If you feel like you need a break then take one and ignore those who say you have no time to slow down. You do in fact have all the time in the world, so be kind to yourself and make sure you greet the weekend feeling relaxed. You may have to do some serious digging to find out what is really going on in your everyday environment. The more friends and neighbors try to tell you there is nothing to be worried about the more concerned you should be! Is a family matter worth getting worked up about? Almost certainly the answer is NO, so refuse to let your fears get the better of you and act as if everything will work out for the best in the end. Strangely, it usually does in these situations. If someone you work or do business with criticizes you for no good reason today you cannot afford to let them get away with it. If you fail to stand up for yourself on this occasion they will see it as a sign of weakness, so speak up. Mars in your sign makes you even more assertive than you usually are but there is a danger you could go too far and give others the impression that you think of yourself as some sort of dictator. That's a good way to spark a revolution! You may not be the sort to waste precious time on activities that don't have a measurable end but even a Virgo needs to relax once in a while. Kick off your shoes, turn on the TV and give yourself permission to chill for an hour or three. Keep your plans to yourself today because the less other people know about what you are up to the more likely it is you will make a success of it. The planets indicate this is one of those occasions when you should work on your own. You may lack some of the material resources that your rivals can call on but you have what they do not possess: strength and stamina and self-belief. Focus on your No. 1 goal and act as if it's success is a forgone conclusion. You need to be careful when dealing with people in positions of power because if you say something that is even remotely critical they won't take kindly to it. For your own self-protection keep your thoughts to yourself for the time being. You seem to be leading a charmed existence at the moment and long may it continue. Your run of good luck is more likely to persist if you stick with your top objective rather than chop and change. Why tinker with a winning formula? If that little lightbulb in your head sparks into life today you must drop whatever else you may be doing and chase after that new idea. As someone who likes to move with the times you won't be afraid to change course completely. You need to take what a partner or loved one tells you today very seriously indeed. You may be inclined to believe that they are overreacting but the planets warn it could be you who has failed to recognize what is really going on. Discover more about yourself at
