Latest news with #bestfriend
Daily Mail
3 days ago
- Health
- Daily Mail
Why this wedding photo has made me want to use weight-loss jabs: I've never silenced my self-loathing, says ELIZABETH DAY. Then I made myself a list... it changed my mind and can help you too
It was my 'sort of' wedding anniversary the other day. I say 'sort of' because we got married during Covid, which meant we had two ceremonies that were sandwiched between lockdowns. The first was in December 2020 and consisted of us, a couple of registrars and my best friend and her husband as witnesses. It turned out to be unbelievably romantic in a way neither of us had anticipated (I think, partly as a result of these low expectations, we placed no pressure on the occasion and that meant we could concentrate on the thing that most mattered – a celebration of love and intimacy).
Telegraph
6 days ago
- General
- Telegraph
The Midults: I slept with my male best friend – but I don't fancy him
Dear A&E, I slept with my best male friend (we were a bit drunk) and it was a terrible idea because I do not actually fancy him but he has brought up 'giving it a go' with me. Then I slept with him again because the sex is really, really great (the best I've ever had) even though I still don't fancy him – which is weird. I know it's a stupid idea to keep getting a bit drunk and having sex with him but I'm finding it hard to resist and I feel guilty and confused about how to navigate this. I truly love him and don't want to hurt him or lose him. – Licentious Dear Licentious, Interesting times, your end. Gosh, our 20s can be wilderness years, can't they? Some seem miraculously able to get themselves sorted romantically, financially, emotionally with little fuss, while others of us (no less kind or capable) flail about, wrecking everything and – hopefully – learning about ourselves and other human beings along the way. There are, to us, two stand-out phrases in your letter (edited above): ' the best sex I've ever had ' and 'I truly love him'. Then there's the self-confessed weirdness of the situation: 'I still don't fancy him'. No wonder you are confused. And he is not some random bloke, so there is jeopardy (and, perhaps, promise) woven through the fabric of your conundrum. You say you don't fancy him. Maybe this is worth examining more deeply because, even though you don't fancy him in theory, it seems that you do in practice. We can get stuck in our attitudes towards people and we would often do well to take pause and re-assess because we change. They change. The world changes. This has thrown up an opportunity – a necessity, really – for you to check in with yourself regarding what this relationship means to you; its limitations and its potentialities. As you get older it can get harder to know if you desire someone when you first meet them and, sometimes, if you have an overwhelming sexual response to a person it can prove to be a warning sign. A blazing sex fire that ignites within you the moment a person walks into the room is not necessarily a sign that you are meant to be with them. Odd and counterintuitive and annoying though that can be. And so we develop a kind of suck-it-and see litmus test. We date. We like them. We test drive. We test drive a few more times. And then we have more information regarding the connection and we decide whether we meaningfully step into that story. Well, Licentious, you got a bit tipsy and put your floor through the floor and found a few things out along the way, didn't you? You have fantastic sex with him. And fantastic sex tends to be about more than technique and friction. It tends to be about connection. You truly love him. This has the ingredients for something that could be quite big. But also quite sad. Should it go wrong. Why don't you fancy him? Is there something that really repulses you or is that just a decision that you made way back when? Is he, somehow, not what you thought you'd date. Is he taller, shorter, geekier, artier, more-reserved, less confident than the boyfriend template you held in your mind's eye? Is it that he's incredibly nice to you and available which makes him less interesting? Have a word with yourself and take this seriously. We do not want you flouncing off into the wide blue yonder, only to realise, latterly, that you have broken your own heart. You don't want to risk hurting him or losing him. You are quite far down the line with this risk already. 'No strings' is not an option. There are strings. There is a whole cobweb of shared history and friendship and camaraderie. Pretending that none of this has happened won't work. Continuing to sleep with him while pretending it doesn't mean anything won't work. In short, pretending won't work. This has relationship written all over it. It also has disaster written all over it. But that is the nature of human interaction. Run the calculations. Ask yourself how you would feel if he announced, tomorrow, that he had met someone. Consider your options. Do not open this up to your friendship group and make a decision by committee. You are entitled to a private life. And, if you decide that you do not fancy him and cannot take this further, talk to him. Tell him you love him too much to risk your friendship. Or that you do not feel you can 'give it a go' at this point in your life. And this probably means that you cannot have a drink anywhere near him and should put a warning by his name, on your phone, saying 'do NOT message.' Because good sex has a narcotic quality that makes it hard to resist. Or you go gently forwards with this. Quietly and honestly. Whichever path you choose, make sure he is fully aware of where you stand at all times. The greatest risk is a betrayal of trust. You may feel as though you have all the power but that will not be the case forever. By treating him with the utmost respect you will simultaneously be respecting yourself and laying down a blueprint for the way you conduct yourself in this world. And that has huge value.
The National
24-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The National
How Maia Kealoha's imagination brought Stitch to life on the Lilo & Stitch set
Native Hawaiian actress, 8, tells The National that, after growing up without siblings, Stitch was her 'best friend'
The Sun
17-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
My boyfriend wants to film himself having sex with my best mate & for me to watch it – our non-monogamy has gone too far
1 DEAR DEIDRE: OPENING up our relationship has been thrilling and better than I expected, until my boyfriend's latest suggestion - that he sleeps with my childhood best friend. Non-monogamy made our sex life far more exciting as we shared our adventures with each other. I've had three different partners, he's had two and we always talk about our experiences after. It's such a thrill. But now he's been making a move on a friend of mine and it feels too close to home. And instead of just talking about their adventures after, he wants to record it and 'enjoy the footage together'. His request feels like he's overstepping the mark. I almost thought we didn't need to say it but surely we shouldn't be bringing in people we know already - let alone people we are close to. And it's one thing talking about our escapades and another thing being confronted with the evidence. My boyfriend and I met three years ago in London, after I moved from the south coast. I'm 27 and he's 28. Dear Deidre After Dark- Understanding open relationships We've been living together for just over two years and everything has been great. It was my suggestion to try polyamory. Although at first he was cautious, after we both researched how to open up your relationship, he agreed to give it a go. We've been non-monagamous for over a year now and make sure that we keep checking in with each other. Our rules are simple, that we tell each other who we are seeing, and that we let the other person know our relationship status. People warned me it would wreck our relationship but I'd say it's done the opposite - up until now anyway. Our sex life is so much better and we talk about our sexual exploits with others which is so erotic. I look at friends in long term relationships and can see they are getting bored staying in together night after night. There is always so much going on in London, and I've loved exploring all the different areas when I've been on different dates. I've seen three different guys regularly and my boyfriend has two regular women he hooks up with. I've never felt a twinge of jealousy before, but I could tell when he came back to my home town with me at Christmas he'd taken a shine to my friend. Not long after we returned he told me he's started messaging her and was going to ask her out. He seemed surprised when I got upset. He'd be making a big effort to see her as he'd have to travel over an hour and a half to get there. Am I being over sensitive or does he want to go too far? The Different Types of Non-monogamy There are many types of non-monogamous relationships. All of them allow sex with more than one person but the expectations for things like emotions, priority and lifestyles are very different. Open Relationship/Monogamish A committed couple that allows each other to have sex with other people. Polyamory Multiple emotional and sexual relationships at the same time, with the consent of everyone involved. Hierarchical polyamory A 'primary' couple prioritise each other, but each has multiple romantic, sexual relationships too. Non-Hierarchical Polyamory Individuals engage in multiple romantic, sexual relationships without assigning priority. Polyfidelity (also known as Triads, Couples or Quads) Three or more people involved in an exclusive relationship. Solo Poly Having multiple intimate relationships with people while otherwise living a single lifestyle. Swinging A couple who have sex with other people, usually simultaneously. Casual sex, casual dating, friends with benefits Dating or having sex with multiple people, while remaining uncommitted to anyone. Relationship Anarchy Doing away with some or all of the traditional 'rules' applied to romantic relationships. Polygamy Polygamy is being married to more than one spouse. Polygamy isn't legal in the UK. DEIDRE SAYS: You've researched how to make non-monogamy work so will know the first rule is that you both have to be 100% happy with the arrangement. The moment one of you feels unhappy or even unsure is the time to pause and reevaluate. Talk to your boyfriend about your reservations. He won't appreciate your position unless you explain. This potential liaison isn't solely about your boyfriend and his extra partner, it's also about a pre-existing relationship between you and your childhood friend. While you are totally at ease with your open relationship in London, bringing it closer to home, where you grew up and your family is, understandably feels different. And as you say, your boyfriend would have to make a big effort to meet your friend, which could mean he's getting emotionally involved. Opening up your relationship for sexual relationships is one thing, but multiple romantic relationships can be much harder to navigate. Again you both need to be clear about what you want from non-monogamy - is this about multiple sexual partners, or are extra emotional relationships okay? My support pack Non-Monogamy explains more. Dear Deidre's Non-Monogamy Files Deidre's mailbag is bursting with open relationship problems. One reader was cut off by her best friend after finding out about her polyamorous relationship; another from a different subscriber who struggled with the reality of telling his family about his throuple, while one man was asked to open his relationship to hide his wife's true sexuality. Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors. Sally Land is the Dear Deidre Agony Aunt. She achieved a distinction in the Certificate in Humanistic Integrative Counselling, has specialised in relationships and parenting. She has over 20 years of writing and editing women's issues and general features. Passionate about helping people find a way through their challenges, Sally is also a trustee for the charity Family Lives. Her team helps up to 90 people every week. Sally took over as The Sun's Agony Aunt when Deidre Sanders retired from the The Dear Deidre column four years ago. The Dear Deidre Team Of Therapists Also Includes: Kate Taylor: a sex and dating writer who is also training to be a counsellor. Kate is an advisor for dating website OurTime and is the author of five self-help books. Jane Allton: a stalwart of the Dear Deidre for over 20 years. Jane is a trained therapist, who specialises in family issues. She has completed the Basic Counselling Skills Level 1, 2, and 3. She also achieved the Counselling and Psychotherapy (CPCAB) Level 2 Certificate in Counselling Studies. Catherine Thomas: with over two decades worth of experience Catherine has also trained as a therapist, with the same credentials as Jane. She specialises in consumer and relationship issues. Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you. You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at: deardeidre@
Independent Singapore
17-05-2025
- General
- Independent Singapore
I gave 7 years of emotional and financial support to him, only to lose him to his female best friend
SINGAPORE: A woman shared her heartbreak on social media, saying that even after seven years of emotionally and financially supporting her boyfriend, he ultimately became closer to his female best friend instead. Posting on the NUSWhispers Facebook page on Tuesday (May 13), she revealed that she had gone to great lengths to stand by her boyfriend during their time together. She worked multiple jobs, took on debt, and even sacrificed her own well-being just to support him. She also admitted she endured much of the pain in silence, often lying to her friends to hide how badly she was hurting. 'I didn't want to let my friends know and worry about how much I was hurting, so I made up 'perfect' stories for them. I equated love with sacrifice, so I just kept giving even when it hurt,' she wrote. However, while she was giving him her full emotional and financial support, he was growing increasingly attached to another woman he described as his 'best friend like a sister.' According to her, this friend received all his time, attention, and emotional support—things she had longed for but rarely experienced. 'She [the girl best friend] was allowed to get all the best parts of him and took all his free time. He would defend her whenever I spoke about it,' the woman wrote. 'When it was really supposed to be me who was holding his hand, it was he who brought her to meet his family and stood by his side, while I never once met his family.' The woman further shared that she constantly felt neglected, as her boyfriend often told her he was too tired or busy to spend time together. Yet somehow, he always had time and energy for this other girl. When she confronted him about this, he dismissed her concerns as misunderstandings and insisted they were 'just like siblings.' 'I wasn't blind, I was in denial,' the woman wrote. 'After all this time, I have come to terms with the reality: I was never 'the one.' I was just defined by how much I gave and by how profoundly I lost. I was stupidly blinded, and I tried to convince myself to believe in their words that they were 'nothing'.' At the end of her post, the woman said that she shared her story 'not as a call for her boyfriend to return' but as a form of closure. 'I'm done, and I finally walked away.' 'Do not trust a guy with an opposite-gender best friend…' After reading the woman's post, many commenters commended her strength and applauded her choice to finally leave the relationship. One said, 'It takes tremendous courage to walk away from someone you deeply loved and invested in, especially after so many years. Don't let anyone make you feel small for choosing yourself. You did the right thing, and you deserve someone who values you the way you love others.' Another wrote, 'Proud of you for walking away. Keep your head held high.' Others also jumped in to remind women not to stay in relationships where they're being taken advantage of. Many pointed out that love should be mutual, and if one person is doing all the giving while the other barely puts in any effort, it's not worth staying. One explained, 'If a man loves you, he will never ask you to split the bills 50:50 or ask you for money or borrow money from you. He will take good care of you financially, even if he does not have enough money for himself. He will put much effort into you and action. 'Never ever help a man financially. Because he just manipulates you, never date a broke, lazy man; he just uses you for ladders, and he will choose another woman he likes.' Another added, 'Do not trust a guy with an opposite-gender best friend. Period.' In other news, a young Singaporean who recently secured offers to study medicine at both National University of Singapore and Nanyang Technological University has taken to social media to express her growing frustration with her parents, who not only refused to fund her university education but still expect her to 'support them financially in the future.' In a post on the r/SGExams subreddit, the student shared that she had chosen to pursue her studies locally to save on accommodation costs, thinking it would lighten the load for her parents. However, despite her parents being financially capable, they informed her last year that they would not be paying for her university fees. Read more: 'They won't pay my uni fees, but want financial support later' — Singaporean says of her parents Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)
