Latest news with #billsharing
Yahoo
16 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
Dear Richard Madeley: ‘Should invited guests at a family dinner pay the bill?'
I was asked to a family dinner by a friend who lives abroad and who I had not seen for a couple of years. The friend was celebrating a niece's birthday. We were a group of 15 at a rather lovely restaurant; the menu had been chosen in advance. I imagined I was my friend's guest, but when the bill arrived, he summarily requested a sum from all the adults equally (taking no account of the fact that some of us had roamed more freely across the wine list than others). Of course I would have come in any case, but it would have been nice to know. I have to host a similar family dinner later this summer, for which I was expecting to pick up the tab. I'm now minded to rethink, and ask the grown-ups to split the bill – but what's the 'done' thing these days? — R, via email There is no 'done' thing. Not any more. I get so many letters like yours. Everyone's at sea over etiquette, on all levels. Weddings, funerals, 21st birthdays… it really is make-your-own-rules-up time. The thing is to be crystal clear well in advance, so everyone understands where the parameters are. That's where that niece's birthday dinner went wrong. You felt ambushed when you were asked to chip in to a bill you assumed would be taken care of by her uncle. It's completely up to you what you do about your own upcoming family bash. Either reassure everyone that it's all taken care of, or explain – again, well in advance –that the bill will be split between everyone there. But in the latter case, don't get into complicated calculations about who drank what, who had the garlic bread and who didn't, who ordered foie gras and who slurped soup. Just divide the total by the number of guests. Remember, you want everyone to just bring themselves – not their calculators. You can find more of Richard Madeley's advice here or submit your own dilemma below. Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more.
Telegraph
16 hours ago
- General
- Telegraph
Dear Richard Madeley: ‘Should invited guests at a family dinner pay the bill?'
Dear Richard, I was asked to a family dinner by a friend who lives abroad and who I had not seen for a couple of years. The friend was celebrating a niece's birthday. We were a group of 15 at a rather lovely restaurant; the menu had been chosen in advance. I imagined I was my friend's guest, but when the bill arrived, he summarily requested a sum from all the adults equally (taking no account of the fact that some of us had roamed more freely across the wine list than others). Of course I would have come in any case, but it would have been nice to know. I have to host a similar family dinner later this summer, for which I was expecting to pick up the tab. I'm now minded to rethink, and ask the grown-ups to split the bill – but what's the 'done' thing these days? — R, via email Dear R, There is no 'done' thing. Not any more. I get so many letters like yours. Everyone's at sea over etiquette, on all levels. Weddings, funerals, 21st birthdays… it really is make-your-own-rules-up time. The thing is to be crystal clear well in advance, so everyone understands where the parameters are. That's where that niece's birthday dinner went wrong. You felt ambushed when you were asked to chip in to a bill you assumed would be taken care of by her uncle. It's completely up to you what you do about your own upcoming family bash. Either reassure everyone that it's all taken care of, or explain – again, well in advance –that the bill will be split between everyone there. But in the latter case, don't get into complicated calculations about who drank what, who had the garlic bread and who didn't, who ordered foie gras and who slurped soup. Just divide the total by the number of guests. Remember, you want everyone to just bring themselves – not their calculators.
Yahoo
08-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Birthday Dinner Ends in Dispute Over $1K Bill After One Guest Orders for Everyone
One woman attended her friend's birthday dinner expecting to order her own meal Instead, one of the guests decided to order "family-style," not taking into consideration anyone else's food preferences or dietary restrictions When the bill came, one woman refused to split the bill evenly, considering she had only ordered two thingsA birthday dinner in San Francisco turned into a financial and emotional headache for one out-of-town guest, whose attempt to celebrate a friend's birthday ended up costing more than she anticipated. The situation sparked a debate on Reddit over how group meals should be handled, especially when attendees have differing food preferences, dietary restrictions, and various spending limits. The poster, who doesn't drink and follows a pescatarian diet, says she left feeling 'taken advantage of' after being asked to contribute far more than the cost of her order. Her refusal to split the bill evenly left some frustrated, and others rethinking the purpose of group celebrations. At the center of it all: an unspoken rule about 'splitting evenly' that not everyone agreed to. 'There were about 10 of us. I don't drink alcohol and I don't eat red meat,' the Reddit user wrote. 'When we got there, one person (not the birthday girl) took it upon herself to order for the whole table, deciding we'd eat 'family style.' ' Caught off-guard, the poster clarified her dietary needs and managed to order separately — a $23 pasta and a $10 mocktail. What followed was a feast, but one that didn't cater to everyone. When the food arrived, it became clear that it was far more than the group needed — two oversized meat and seafood platters, multiple appetizers, and several desserts. Most of the guests had multiple cocktails, each priced over $20, however, one attendee didn't eat at all because "she couldn't afford to eat out but wanted to come 'for the vibes.'' Meanwhile, another friend ate a portion of the meal and left early. 'The woman who ordered everything put it on her card and took home all the leftovers (which were a lot),' the poster recalled. A few days later, the birthday girl revealed the bill had come to over $1,000 and asked each person to contribute $150. Shocked, the Reddit user refused, explaining that her order came out to $40, at most, with tip. The birthday girl offered to reduce her share to $100, but it was clear she wasn't happy. 'She said the expectation at group dinners is everyone splits evenly, like it's the 'cost of entry' to share the experience,' the friend wrote. However, that rationale didn't sit right with the poster. 'Why should people be expected to subsidize others' expensive tastes — especially when they didn't agree to a shared meal, didn't drink, and ordered conservatively?' she questioned. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. A large number of commenters jumped to the user's defense, agreeing with her line of reasoning. 'Lack of communication for sure! For an event like this, the details should be laid out and agreed to in advance,' one user wrote. 'Nobody should be left feeling they can't afford the dinner, and nobody should 'order for the table' without asking for people's preferences or deciding a budget.' Another user emphasized: 'If you order a spread of food expecting others to pay, they better have been consulted with and agreed beforehand. End of story, and those who didn't even partake from said spread definitely owe nothing.' The user further explained that this was her first time meeting most of the group — she only knew two people there, including the birthday girl. The idea of going 'family style' apparently stemmed from a quick conversation among some attendees at one end of the table, which she didn't overhear. And yet, despite the confusion, the user says she was the only person who offered to help cover the birthday girl's share of the meal. 'So far, it seems like I am the only one who offered to pay any of the bday girl's meal,' she noted. 'I think others were taken aback by how expensive this came out to? Not sure.' In the aftermath, tensions remain and the birthday girl is now 'mortified' and worried that her friend who initially covered the bill might be stuck paying a large portion of it. Nevertheless, the poster is choosing to stand her ground. 'I don't think I'll ever even agree to come to a group dinner without discussing how the check will be managed ahead of time,' she admits. 'Idc if that makes me look like a stingy penny pincher. I just don't feel comfortable after this experience.' Read the original article on People
