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Forbes
3 days ago
- Business
- Forbes
3 Strategies To Help You Disagree Like A Leader
The Hatfields and the McCoys have long captured the American imagination, pitting neighbor against neighbor in the mountains of Kentucky and West Virginia. Sensational journalism brought national attention to the feuding families and spawned the hillbilly stereotypes that still denigrate rural Appalachians. But the real story is—as most are—more complex. Post Civil War industrialization brought with it a rapacious need for timber, coal and an expanded railroad. The now famous feud, magnified and distorted by self-interested tycoons, escalated a simple disagreement to encourage a land grab in the Tug Valley, destroying rich resources, economic livelihoods and a previously peaceful way of life. We've just turned the page on a contentious election, leaving Americans feeling a lot like the Hatfields and the McCoys. But our sparring is just a symptom—of what happens when disagreement stops being dialogue and starts becoming demolition. Even among partners, even among friends, we're losing the ability to disagree without destroying each other. In an era of cancel culture, viral outrage, and political point-scoring, disagreement has become dangerous territory. We urgently need to re-learn the lost art of disagreeing with respect. And it's not just on the global stage. In boardrooms, classrooms, hospitals, and homes, disagreement now feels like an existential threat. We shout, we shut down, or we stay silent. What we rarely do is stay present—with openness, humility, and grace. But disagreement is not the enemy. Done well, it fuels progress, not division. Innovation, growth, democracy itself—none of it works without productive disagreement. So how do we navigate conflict without collapsing connection? How do we disagree—not just loudly, but wisely? Here are three strategies—drawn from research and real-world examples—that offer a way forward. In many organizations, disagreement is seen as a problem to solve—or worse, a liability to avoid. The goal is harmony. Alignment. Consensus. But that mindset often breeds groupthink and mediocrity. High-performing teams flip the script. They treat disagreement not as defiance, but as data. Not as disruption, but as a sign of engagement and a catalyst for smarter thinking. Pixar mastered this early on. Its famous 'Braintrust' meetings brought together directors, writers, and producers to openly critique films-in-progress. The feedback was fierce—storyboards dismantled, ideas shredded—but the environment was psychologically safe. As co-founder Ed Catmull put it, the magic was in 'candor without fear.' People walked out with sharper stories, not bruised egos. The science backs this up. A 2003 meta-analysis found that task-related conflict—disagreements over ideas, not identities—consistently improves team performance, especially when trust and psychological safety are present. Silence isn't a sign of harmony. It's often a sign of fear. Respectful disagreement doesn't just happen—it's engineered. It requires space, both cultural and structural. And in high-stakes or hierarchical environments, that space must be built with intention. Consider the aviation industry. In the 1990s, Korean Air faced a disturbing number of crashes. Investigators uncovered a deadly pattern: junior crew members often spotted mistakes but stayed silent—especially when it was the captain who was wrong. Deference and politeness were literally killing people. The fix wasn't just technical. It was cultural. Korean Air overhauled its communication protocols and launched a rigorous training program emphasizing open communication, teamwork, and the importance of all crew members speaking up, regardless of rank. As a result, the airline eventually became one of the safest in the world. The lesson? It's not enough to remove barriers—you have to install supports and good communication. Leaders must actively invite dissent, reward courage, and build systems that make disagreement safe. And no, that doesn't mean every meeting becomes a sparring match. It means building a culture where candor is expected, not punished. When people can't speak up, organizations can't move forward. Most of us don't avoid disagreements because we don't care—we avoid it because we're human. Our brains are wired for belonging, and conflict—especially unresolved conflict—feels like a threat to that connection. But discomfort is where learning lives. In 1960, civil rights leader Diane Nash helped lead a group of Black and white students in Nashville through intensive nonviolent protest training. Before they ever sat together in protest at a segregated lunch counter, they rehearsed how to withstand verbal abuse, physical threats, and emotional pressure. The goal wasn't just to resist—it was to remain present, with dignity and discipline, long enough to shift public perception. It was hard, but it worked. Today's workplace may not require that level of courage. But it does require staying power. Whether you're challenging a biased comment, unpacking a flawed assumption, or rethinking a failed strategy—real growth comes when we resist the urge to exit the discomfort too soon. Respectful disagreement requires lingering a little longer. Listening past your own rebuttal. Asking the second question. Resisting the simplicity of certainty and choosing instead to sit—briefly—in the complexity of someone else's view. Growth doesn't happen when we win the argument. It happens when we stay in it. The infamous feud didn't serve the Hatfields or the McCoys. It served the industrialists—timber, coal, and railroad barons—who capitalized on the chaos. As the families fought, outside interests moved in, seizing land, extracting resources, and destabilizing communities. The story is a reminder: when we become too consumed by conflict, we risk falling victim to someone else's agenda. The same is true today. The problems we face—at work, in politics, in our communities—are too complex and too urgent to let discord divide us. Especially when that division leaves us vulnerable to manipulation, distraction, or inaction. We don't need fewer disagreements. We need better ones—because the right kind of conflict builds trust, sharpens thinking, and moves us forward. It's not about being right. It's about getting it right—together. Instead of resisting the arguments of others, ask yourself: What am I missing? What might they see that I don't? The goal isn't to win. It's to stay in the room long enough to solve the problem. Because if we can't learn to disagree with respect, we'll lose far more than the argument. We'll lose the very tools we need to build what's next.
The Independent
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Independent
Watch: Ricky Gervais rails against cancel culture as he's honoured with a star on Hollywood Walk of Fame
Comedian Ricky Gervais has been honoured with a star on Hollywood's iconic Walk of Fame. While the star of The Office admitted he was 'humbled' to receive the tribute on Friday (30 May), he couldn't resist poking fun at the event in a broadside against cancel culture. 'Thank you so much for this honor. It's a genuine thrill to be part of such an exclusive club,' said Gervais. 'And just looking around earlier at all the other stars, absolute icons, you know, Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby, Fatty Arbuckle. 'And we've had a few weird years of cancel culture - people telling you what you can and can't laugh at or talk about, but we pushed back and we won until the next time.'
Yahoo
24-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Marlon Wayans weighs in on controversial Tony Hinchcliffe joke, which politician could be a comic
EXCLUSIVE: Marlon Wayans encouraged his fellow comedians to keep making those off-color jokes in a recent interview with Fox News Digital. Americans' funny bones seem to have stopped working in recent years amid a rise in cultural sensitivities. But Wayans said he's never let a changing culture affect him and not once has he watered down his humor. And he said he's not one to judge when other comics tell edgy jokes. One quip in particular caused a weeks-long controversy in the lead up to the 2024 presidential election. Comedian Tony Hinchcliffe spoke at a rally for President Donald Trump and joked that Puerto Rico was a "floating island of garbage." "There's always going to be different sides of me, but I'm always going to be like 85% comedian," Wayans told Fox News Digital. "And I think comedians have every right to poke fun at everything. Now, if you'd have told that joke maybe a different way, Puerto Ricans may have found it funny. But I'm pretty sure there's some Puerto Ricans that found it funny. It depends on how dark your humor is. And I think you have to have the courage to go, 'Hey, this is funny. Tony roasts for a living.'" Comedian Marlon Wayans Rejects Cancel Culture, Says It Only Exists 'In Society's Mind' "I'm not gonna cancel any comedian for a joke," Wayans added. "Even if it was a Black joke. You know, hopefully you told the joke that makes Black people laugh. You know, Don Rickles did some of the most edgy, racist humor, but man was he funny. And I'm always gonna subscribe to comedy." Read On The Fox News App Wayans said it's a comedian's job to push buttons and boundaries. "I know Tony and you know I've watched him perform at The Comedy Store," Wayans continued. "Tony's a funny dude, and I think, look, we gotta push the envelope. We gotta push buttons. We have to be able to make people feel uncomfortable. We're trying to make people laugh at themselves. We're not trying to hurt your feelings… but sometimes there's casualties in war." "Finding jokes is war," he explained. "And sometimes you step on land mines, and that's okay. Next joke. And every joke you tell is going to be like that. But you can't be – you gotta be fearless. You gotta just walk through that landmine. Some is going to blow up in your face. You know, I'm pretty sure some people enjoyed it. And then the majority of it, maybe they didn't. But, next joke." Bill Maher also defended Hinchcliffe's joke when he had the comedian on his "Club Random" podcast last week. "There's no doubt it's insulting to Puerto Ricans, but I have been over the same territory," Maher said. "I mean, I don't think I would do exactly that joke, but I certainly have done many that have been objected to.""My thing was always, you know what? Everybody has to accept, in the framework of comedy, insults… you know, and they're never fair," he added. Andrew Schulz Says 'Country Has Spoken Loud And Clear' On Wokeness After 'Unanimous' Trump Win On The Issue Wayans was one of the stars of "In Living Color," an "SNL"-like satire show that ran from 1990-1994, with his siblings Keenan Ivory Wayans, Damon Wayans, Shaun Wayans, and sister Kim Wayans. Eventual megastars like Jamie Foxx and Jim Carrey also served as cast members. "'In Living Color' was like my alma mater," Wayans fondly recalled. "It's like where I came up, it's my graduating class. I was the freshman and I learned so much. And that type of humor is ingrained in my soul. That's our family humor. So we're always gonna bring that. Every time we bring a Wayans project, we're always gonna have that flavor. That's just who we are. We're equal opportunity offenders, no holds barred. And we have fun, and we go dark, but with kids' gloves." That's true of his filmography too, Wayans said, referencing his 2004 movie "White Chicks," in which he and brother Shawn play two FBI agents who disguise themselves as White women in order to bait a kidnapper. Some have suggested the movie could never be made today. "The whole purpose is not to hurt feelings, it's to actually make people laugh," he added. "And even the people that… Our thing is, we try to make the people that we make fun of laugh the loudest. 'Cause flattery is the greatest form of mockery. I mean, mockery is the greatest form of flattery. And so, they've been trying to — the internet or whatever — trying to cancel us for 'White Chicks' forever, but you can't. You know why? You know who loves 'White Chicks' the most? White chicks. So we told the joke the right way. And that's just how we do our family humor." Wayans was asked whether any politicians could have had a second career as stand-up comics. "I'm pretty sure there are… I don't know which one right now," he answered. "They're all a bunch of clowns and jokes to me. Just like watching a circus. I don't know what's happening. But you know who would be a really good standup comedian? I think Barack Obama would have been a great standup comedian. Like, he's funny. He's witty, he's charming, he's likable. And he, when he does his speeches, he takes his digs and they're funny. And you know it's like off the top. I think Obama's a funny dude." Obama and his former presidential opponent Mitt Romney were praised for their stellar comedic timing at the Al Smith dinner in 2012. A couple of the more memorable jokes from Obama included him poking fun at his middle name, Hussein, and his poor performance in his first debate against Romney, while also throwing in some jabs about Romney's wealth. "Trump's a different kind of comedian," Wayans said. "I think Trump is funny, and he doesn't even know he is. He just says crazy stuff. He's like somebody's crazy grandpa who just sits on a porch spitting out insanity, and you're going, 'Grandpa's crazy, but that one thing he said was kind of funny.'" Obama, Romney Joke At Al Smith Dinner In New York Wayans said he and his brothers always laugh off-camera together, too. "Oh, absolutely," he said. "We all, you know, take pride in making each other laugh and, you know, if there's a joke out there, all of us kick it around and try to find the best joke. And we're not trying to one up each other. It just happens. You just start riffing on a joke. Humor is, it's like a band, right? When someone starts playing, you know, a certain instrument in a certain key and you kind of jump in and start with the drums and then somebody else jumps in with the bass, and before you know it, you got this beautiful song. And that's how it is hanging out with my brothers and my sisters." Wayans is currently on his national Wild Child tour. He also has a comedy special, "Good Grief," currently streaming on Amazon article source: Marlon Wayans weighs in on controversial Tony Hinchcliffe joke, which politician could be a comic
CBS News
06-05-2025
- Entertainment
- CBS News
Tinx tackles cancel culture and romance in debut novel "Hotter in the Hamptons"
Tinx trades TikTok for the Hamptons in her new novel, "Hotter in the Hamptons" Social media star and bestselling author Christina Najjar, known as Tinx, is taking on cancel culture, reinvention and unexpected romance in her new book, "Hotter in the Hamptons," which was released on Tuesday. Najjar's debut novel follows Lola Fine, a New York City content creator who retreats to the Hamptons after being canceled, only to discover her summer neighbor is a culture critic who wrote a scathing exposé about her. The two unexpectedly begin a summer fling as Lola embarks on a journey of self-discovery. "I really wanted my heroine to be complicated and layered, because we're all complicated and layered," Najjar told "CBS Mornings." "I wanted her to be messy so that readers could see themselves in her, because we're really all imperfect. We're all works in progress." The Hamptons setting was chosen for its luxury and dramatic potential, Najjar said. "My followers know my obsession with rich mom places. And it's shrouded in mystery. It's luxurious. A lot of drama goes down there," she said. She even incorporated real locations to provide reference points for readers. The book includes aspects of queer romance, which has drawn some criticism given Najjar's identity as a straight woman. Najjar said that she worked with a queer collaborator to ensure authentic representation. "I think it's important to have a queer voice in the room, and that's why I wanted to work with a queer collaborator," she said. "So we got that lived experience in the book and I think we nailed it, and it was an incredible experience working with her. I can't wait for people to just read it and form their own opinions."
