Latest news with #childpsychology
Fox News
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Fox News
Ron Howard's daughter had 'messed-up' childhood fixation that worried her parents
For Bryce Dallas Howard, growing up in Hollywood had its pros and cons. During a recent interview, the "Jurassic World" star - whose parents are actor and filmmaker Ron Howard and Cheryl Howard - opened up about the "difficulties" she endured as a child and the steps taken to better her experience. "I was such a messed-up kid – I would walk around the Disney lot reading about euthanasia," Bryce, who is currently promoting her new film "Deep Cover," told The Independent. "But I also wasn't dark. There was just a sort of intensity to my feelings and the stories I was curious about." "When I was growing up, I had a lot of difficulties learning and communicating," she continued. "I was always very happy and smiley, but not extremely verbal. It was unclear what intelligence was there, and how much I was really processing." Bryce, who is the eldest of four children, recalled her parents taking her to a child psychologist at the time. "'Can we talk about the dead babies?' the therapist would ask," the actress said. "'Because Bryce talks a lot about dead babies.'" Nevertheless, Bryce said she is thankful her parents supported her as she sought out a career in acting. "I felt very lucky because I never had it in my head that if I wasn't making a living from acting, I was then failing," she said. "I'm a third-generation performer. The layers of privilege that I've experienced means that there's a lot that I'm aware of [about the industry], and there's a lot that I will never be able to understand because of that." Bryce's parents celebrated a major milestone over the weekend: their 50th wedding anniversary. "#GoldenAnniversary Grateful for 50 amazing years and the family and experiences it has yielded," Ron, 71, wrote on Instagram. "What an adventure down river through calm soothing waters and some tricky rapids as well. Our key … love and respect each other enough to just keep paddling," he continued, adding, "Thank God for you, Cheryl." In March, Ron opened up about his marriage to Cheryl, saying he is "supremely fortunate." "I think there's just a lot of luck in a marriage lasting a long time. I don't think it's something you can will into existence," he told People. "It's a good idea to obviously put yourself out there and be caring and loving and be considerate and all of those things, but you really have to grow together. And we've had that good fortune of our chemistry staying strong, our interests having grown and evolved, but somehow remaining compatible. And so there's an element of luck there. I count myself as supremely fortunate."
Yahoo
3 days ago
- Health
- Yahoo
7 Things Elementary-Age Kids Worry About the Most, According to a Child Psychologist
7 Things Elementary-Age Kids Worry About the Most, According to a Child Psychologist originally appeared on Parade. Think back to when you were in elementary school. Between the fun stuff, like recess, field trips and sleepovers, you likely worried about things from time to time, right? Back then, just like today, there were also bullies and friendship dynamics to navigate. Because kids interact with each other daily, often dealing with certain issues for the first time, any child can get stressed out. But what do elementary-age kids the most today?As it turns out, younger generations are more worried and anxious than previous ones, with research pointing to this fact, as reported by a 2011 American Journal of Orthopsychiatry study. Data from the National Survey of Children's Health also found that the prevalence of children diagnosed with anxiety rose from 9.5% in 2020 to over 11% in 2022 among children aged 6 to 11. With the rise of social media, reality TV and the pressure to achieve so much, it makes sense that kids are more anxious than are those the only things elementary-age kids worry about these days? How can parents support them? And when does worry become indicative of something larger, like an anxiety disorder? Parade reached out to a child psychologist to get some of these answers to help out kids and parents Like adults, children naturally worry. Child psychologist Jacque Cutillo, Ph.D., LLP, LPC, LMHC, Director of Specialized Operations at Youth Villages, says that at the elementary school stage, kids are figuring out their place in the world, testing their beliefs and managing increased responsibilities at home and at school. Additionally, they're navigating peer relationships, gaining independence and exploring interests. 'They develop flexible thinking, considering more 'gray' options instead of just black and white,' Cutillo remarks. 'And navigating the gray can bring new challenges in determining right and wrong.' Related: Have a Nervous Child in the Doctor's Office? Here's How to Ease Shot Anxiety in Your Kids As is the case with adults, yes, some kids are just predisposed to worry more. 'Some children do worry more than others, but there are both biological and environmental components to consider,' Cutillo says. For instance, some children have a lower tolerance when managing stressful events, or they might have higher standards they hold themselves to, which can result in increased worry. Also, as Cutillo points out, children's worries can fluctuate from day to day depending on the stressors they are facing. Finally, children are often mirroring how their parents navigate worries. As Cutillo says, if adults can navigate through stressful situations or tolerate levels of unknowns in their daily interactions, children will observe that modeled behavior and develop their own strategies for similar situations. Related: At times, kids can worry about adult concerns like housing, finances and adult relationships. 'Adults are sharing more about things that impact their family with their children. Children are more frequently privy to family concerns at an earlier stage of navigating the concern before adults have a plan to solve the issue,' Cutillo says. Calling them 'macro-level concerns,' Cutillo says that modern-day issues such as politics and immigration can be top of mind for children. 'Children are far more observant now about local, national and international issues because of increased exposure,' she explains. Peer concerns, such as feeling included, fitting in and navigating relationships can be a big source of worry. Cutillo says that kids compare themselves to their peers, from what snacks they bring to lunch to how they perform on a test. 'Competition and performance have become hallmarks in conversations, and needing to keep up continues to increase stressors to maintain relevancy and remain involved in peer groups,' she observes. Labeling it as social media 'infatuation,' Cutillo says that this state has become more common among children, even from a young age. 'Part of this is modeled behavior from caregivers who use their phone or other device to engage in social media usage or technology devices to distract and decompress,' she explains. 'Additionally, technology is everywhere, and a lot of social interaction happens over technology.' Related: Children may worry when trying to meet their own expectations, the expectations of the adults in their lives or simply by media that can influence them. 'Our children want to be good at things and want to have the skills to succeed," Cutillo says. "Children are doing the best they can with the skills they have, and some have developed the need to be perfect at everything they try.' Transitional experiences in life—both small and substantial—can create a lot of worry for a child. As Cutillo notes, it can be something as simple as a change in routine or a new activity, or it can be something larger, such as moving or experiencing loss. 'Changes in daily living result in worry for most people—it is not surprising that children experience the same feelings,' she says. Just like work worries for adults, kids get anxious about school as well. 'Many children experience worries about school performance,' Cutillo says. 'This may be regarding classroom activities, maintaining behavioral norms, standardized tests or public speaking.' Related: If Your Parents or Grandparents Did These 7 Things When You Were a Kid, You're Probably an Anxious Adult Cutillo says that parents can support their children by discussing their feelings openly, addressing daily worries and noticing changes in mood and behavior. 'Even small worries should be taken seriously, as they may be significant to the child,' she cautions. 'Engaging in problem-solving and discussing physiological symptoms helps model good skills and supports emotional development.' She also advises using age-appropriate language and monitoring the information your children are consuming (i.e. through social media). Limiting screen time and trying to avoid sensitive news topics can be beneficial when it comes to their a parent, you'll also want to be aware of how you're modeling healthy habits to your children. Cutillo also recommends answering children's questions honestly and appropriately, seeking answers together if needed. This can be addressed through kid-friendly resources like books, shows or podcasts. Lastly, you can work together to create a 'worry box,' something that can help kids manage their worries, and they can make it unique to them. She suggests using a shoebox or another small box with a lid, decorating it and having your kids place their worries inside for safekeeping, perhaps written on slips of Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Asking These 10 Questions 'When worries grow large and seem to be impacting daily activities or relationships, that is a time to seek further support to help your child navigate their worries,' says Cutillo. 'When worries become a problem, caregivers may notice a change in their child's mood or behavior. A typically energetic and outgoing child may withdraw or appear more subdued.'You might notice a change in tone or attitude if your child is experiencing stressors, as well. You should also watch for changes in physiological presentation as well, including difficulty falling or staying asleep, changes in appetite and reports of head or stomachaches, as she explains. Related: There's a chance that these everyday worries may indicate a clinical anxiety disorder. Cutillo says that these characteristics can include excessive worry about a variety of topics over a significant amount of time or a fixation around a specific phobia, social event or even being separated from a primary should you do if these are things you're noticing? 'Caregivers should reach out to their child's pediatrician or school support for further assessment and intervention,' Cutillo says. 'If you notice unsafe behaviors, such as self-harm or suicidal comments or behaviors, seek immediate support from a professional.' Up Next:Jacque Cutillo, Ph.D., LLP, LPC, LMHC, child psychologist and Director of Specialized Operations at Youth Villages 7 Things Elementary-Age Kids Worry About the Most, According to a Child Psychologist first appeared on Parade on Jun 7, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jun 7, 2025, where it first appeared.
Yahoo
11-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
What Is ‘Lighthouse Parenting'? A Child Psychologist Shares the Benefits
Parenting isn't simply straightforward parenting these days. Currently, psychologists have taken to naming and defining different variations of parenting, from 'commando parenting' to 'FAFO parenting' to 'free range parenting.' But have you heard of one of the latest terms to start getting buzz—'lighthouse parenting'? These days, gentle parenting, attachment styles and common mistakes made by moms and dads seem to get most of the public's attention—after all, there are phrases that experts recommend avoiding, habits that should be stopped and more. But there are also suggestions on what habits to begin doing instead, which leads us to lighthouse we'll explain the ins and outs of this parenting style, according to a child psychologist. Initially defined by Dr. Kenneth Ginsberg as a form of balanced parenting that's both warm and empathic, essentially, lighthouse parenting provides the structure needed to 'keep children safe from harm and support their growth independence,' says child psychologist Dr. Caroline Danda. This is a form of parenting when parents show up consistently. As Dr. Danda describes, the lighthouse metaphor denotes parents who watch and prepare their children to navigate rocky shores and offer a secure base where children can venture out into the world—but return to their parents for support and guidance. 'Lighthouse parenting is not a new type of parenting, but rather revisits the concept of authoritative parenting, first championed by Diana Baumrind in the 1960s, and how to strategically apply these principles in today's world,' Dr. Danda explains. 'The focus is on developing meaningful, secure attachments through open communication, and setting expectations that allow growth and independence, based on the needs of the child and the environment.' This type of parenting actually tones down the focus on ensuring that kids are happy and successful in life. Rather, lighthouse parenting fosters qualities that can support growth and resilience, and acknowledges the reality that everyone struggles in 10 Things Every Kid Needs To Hear From Their Parents and Grandparents, Child Psychologists Say 'Being a stable force in your child's life means having solid ground underneath your feet,' says Dr. Danda. 'If we want our children to grow and thrive, we need to be able to embrace being human, taking care of our needs with self-compassion. Our kids trust we can support them and won't be overwhelmed by their challenges.' Lighthouse parenting isn't about being the 'perfect parent.' Instead, it's all about embracing both strengths and flaws, and models a growth mindset, as Dr. Danda says, adding, 'We know that actions speak louder than words.' Dr. Danda says that communicating effectively is a major part of lighthouse parenting, with its core found in active listening. To listen actively, you'll be curious about your child and their perspective, and in the process, you'll make them feel seen and heard. To keep your kids safe while lighthouse parenting, Dr. Danda says that you'll set clear boundaries around safety. 'At the same time, we offer kids gradual independence to take more risks and learn from experience,' she says. 'Essentially, kids know how far they can veer from shore.' 'The key component in building resilience is helping our children learn to embrace uncertainty, knowing they have support, in us and others, to navigate life's challenges,' Dr. Danda says. Although it might feel difficult, within lighthouse parenting, you'll allow your children to 'fail at the little things' so they can build skills from experiences and have 'the knowledge they need to weather the storms,' Dr. Danda shares. Additionally, she says that you'll provide a 'beacon of hope and safety' when you equip your children, as best as you can, with the tools they need and the knowledge you will remain available to support them. 'As children grow and mature, their sense of self evolves,' Dr. Danda shares. 'As parents, we are a reliable source that nurtures their strengths. We see our children's inherent good, no matter their challenges.' Related: These 125 Quotes on Being a Parent Will Give You All the Feelings From her professional viewpoint, Dr. Danda observes that lighthouse parenting is associated with improved academic achievement, social competence and higher self-esteem. 'Because the focus is less on happiness as a measure of success, lighthouse parents tend to be less controlling. In contrast, a helicopter or snowplow parent tries to make life easier for their children but inadvertently undermines the child's ability to gain confidence through mastery. Children may also base self-worth primarily on achievement,' Dr. Danda Why Apologizing to Your Kids Is Important—Plus, Therapists Explain How To Do It Effectively Dr. Danda shares her top tips for exercising lighthouse parenting: Paraphrasing and validating are truly parent superpowers. They slow down the conversation, allow children to feel seen and heard (but it doesn't mean you agree) and give parents time to think through the situation and respond versus react. It's also great modeling for effective communication and the foundation for building meaningful relationships. Listening is essential, particularly when children are sharing problems. Don't jump into conclusions, problem-solving, consequences or lessons to be learned too quickly. Cope out loud. When we cope well, it's usually an internal process of how we go from problem to calming to solutions. In contrast, kids can see when we aren't particularly resilient. Narrate identifying the problem, using self-calming skills and problem-solving. Take care of yourself. Model self-care and self-compassion. Nurture in yourself the same qualities that you want to see in your children. Be intentional and set aside time to reflect. It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day busyness of life. When we're constantly on the go, we become more reactive rather than thoughtfully responsive. Focus more on nurturing what's going well and your child's strengths rather than constantly pointing out their challenges. I like to say you can focus on pulling weeds, but if you don't nurture and plant the grass, then it's easy for the weeds to grow back. Celebrate and notice effort and qualities more than simply outcomes and achievements. It's through these qualities and perseverance that achievements occur. Prioritize family time, whether it's board games, family dinners, yard work, chores or watching shows. Spend time together. The best conversations often occur in the most mundane moments. Consider family meetings as a way to check in and create a sense of investment in the family. Set aside tech-free zonesand times (like during meals) so there are more opportunities to interact. Up Next:Dr. Caroline Danda, child psychologist.
The Guardian
09-05-2025
- General
- The Guardian
Six conversations that will unlock your relationships, from first date to old friends
In polarising times, when technology has too often made us even more isolated, opportunities for meaningful conversation can go unnoticed. But what are we really missing? What do we forgo when we don't take the chance to talk? And which conversations matter most? Here, experts highlight six conversations we should be having with one other, but aren't. 'Disagreeing in front of children can feel difficult for parents who fear it will upset them,' says Dr Laura Weingarten, a principal child clinical psychologist in the NHS. 'The difficulty with this is that children will often pick up on the dispute anyhow and internalise difficult emotions that they don't understand.' Instead, says Weingarten, be mindful of your child observing your interactions with your partner or others, and use it as a platform to model the expression of those emotions. While it is unhelpful for a child to witness disregulated 'arguing' between caregivers (ie, screaming rows), a difference of opinion is healthy and normal. Explaining and modelling that disagreements are OK, giving those 'difficult' emotions labels, and letting them understand that we can reach a positive resolution will stand them in good stead for life.' A good opportunity to start a conversation is when the child themselves has had difficulty managing a disagreement, for example with a sibling over a toy. 'Find the words they can't necessarily find themselves,' says Weingarten. 'You could start by saying, 'I can see you are feeling upset and that must be very difficult for you.' Tell them, 'I'm here for you and I understand.' This shows them that disagreement is manageable and isn't something to be afraid of. In those moments, you can also revisit a time when they witnessed disagreement, and make sure they noticed the resolution afterwards by saying, 'Do you remember that time Mummy was upset with Grandpa, then they made up? See, it's OK when we disagree and talk to each other about it.' 'It is difficult for people of all ages, but especially teenagers, to ask for what they want in an effective way,' says Weingarten. 'But once they have mastered the balanced art of expressing their needs and wants without being combative or blowing things out of proportion, all conversations become easier.' Wanting to feel socially accepted can make this a particularly hard task in the teenage years. 'This makes it a good time to have the conversation,' says Weingarten. 'They may find it hard to ask for a teacher's support without feeling frustrated, or to speak to a friend who didn't invite them to a party without being angry. Explaining how to communicate effectively will allow them to achieve what they want and need without jeopardising relationships.' Weingarten suggests talking to your teenager about the need to do this fairly, explaining that they never need to over- or under-apologise, exaggerate or act helpless when expressing their wants. In practice, this means helping your teen to feel confident describing the difficulty they have with a situation and then expressing how they feel to you and others: 'Tell them they don't need to say sorry for what they want, but neither do they need to shout it. For example, they could tell a friend planning a night out, 'I'm OK with you wanting to do something different, but I know that I won't feel good there. Please can we choose somewhere else or do our own thing this time?' They should be able to communicate in this clear, honest way, safe in the knowledge that it is fair to everyone involved,' says Weingarten. Family therapist and associate professor at the University of Exeter Prof Hannah Sherbersky explains that relatives can sometimes get stuck 'in role' with one other: 'It's exciting to remember that the people we love who are older have lived out completely different roles that bear no resemblance to the one they now inhabit in relation to us,' she says. She suggests asking them about what they were doing when they were your age to spark a new type of conversation: 'They might tell you about a relationship, a job, where they were living, a move.' The conversation provides an opportunity that might otherwise be missed to learn from and know a different version of an ageing relative; it can also inform our own decision-making and place in the world. Sherbersky says: 'We get very caught up in what's different between us and other generations rather than what is the same. With this conversation, the elderly relative is invited to step back into another aspect of themselves that perhaps they've lost touch with: a time they may have felt stronger or had more sense of agency in the world, or perhaps life was more complicated and they can reflect on how they feel more content now.' There are benefits for the younger relative too: 'It can give us perspective on where we are in our lives and help us think about our own future,' says Sherbersky. 'What qualities, transgenerational values, skills, stories and memories will be passed down?' This provides an opportunity to consider whether they are good things or whether they are influences we'd like to end. Sherbersky adds: 'Often we learn things about someone after they have died; what a shame not to have known it when they were alive.' By asking how they felt when they were reprimanded as a child, what you're essentially saying is, 'How did you respond to feedback?' says therapist and bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab. 'Knowing if they continued to repeat the issue, it they were a good listener, did they yell and fight with their parent, or did they think, 'This is something I can work on,' tells you what works and what does not.' She adds: 'You're saying, 'What is the thing that sets you off? Let me understand what's happening here, so I'm not pushing those buttons.' If you know they came from an overbearing parent, you don't want to mimic that behaviour; if they had an indecisive parent and you're indecisive, you can understand why they're short on patience – because they feel like they've been dealing with this forever.' Sign up to Inside Saturday The only way to get a look behind the scenes of the Saturday magazine. Sign up to get the inside story from our top writers as well as all the must-read articles and columns, delivered to your inbox every weekend. after newsletter promotion Without broaching this, couples may find themselves stuck in a loop of trying to get through to each another, says Tawwab. 'When long-term couples have this conversation, arguments are less explosive. They don't feel personally attacked even though their feelings are hurt. They're upset because there's a disruption, but they know 'you love me'.' 'Our attitude to wealth is tied to our values, making it among the most important topics if you're looking for a long-term partner,' says matchmaker Paul C Brunson, host of the podcast We Need to Talkand author of Keep Love. 'I tell people to ask: 'Would you rather a) be paid £50,000 while others make £25,000 in the same job, or b) receive £100,000 while others get £250,000?' This question unpacks empathy – one of the most important character traits that you see in high satisfaction relationships – and provokes considered thinking. It's not necessarily about the answer, it's about the thought process. If someone gives up or completely turns off to it, they're not ready to be a partner and put in the kind of consistent effort relationships require of us.' If there is disagreement, he says, it serves another purpose: 'You immediately have an opportunity to see if you can begin to resolve conflict with the person in front of you, which is the number one behavioural set you need in a relationship.' 'Each relationship meets a need and, in doing so, serves a function,' explains family and systemic psychotherapist Mark Stroud. 'In friendships, the need may be a sense of competition through playing sport, excitement from going clubbing, relaxing by drinking together. Often friendships meet more than one need but, almost universally, their function is an unspoken negotiation that is rarely, or never, talked about. When someone can no longer meet a need, maybe because their work or caring demands have changed, we can feel hurt.' Stroud says that by coming together and figuring out what the function of the friendship is, you can determine whether it remains the same for both people or if you want to renegotiate and agree to meet each other's needs in a different way now that circumstances have changed: 'It allows you to deepen and evolve your friendship. For example, clubbing might no longer be on the cards, but trips away could provide the excitement.' Stroud says this type of conversation can be hard. 'You should choose a setting and a way of talking that is familiar and comfortable to you both – on a bike ride, over a meal or going for a walk, depending if you're used to catching up with each other against some background activity or in a quiet spot. 'It can be helpful to start by raising the changes you have noticed, such as, 'We don't go out as much as we used to,' or, 'I've noticed our plans keep getting cancelled at the last moment.' Own how that makes you feel – for example by saying, 'It makes me sad because … '' But he adds: 'Make sure you don't locate the problem in them: apportioning blame will get in the way of thinking about how you 'do' being friends differently. Invite their experiences of the change too, and be open to their perspective – they may experience it as coming from your life. Remember to be curious about the other person's experiences and to be kind to each other; it takes two to make the friendship work.'
