Latest news with #effort
Yahoo
31-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
"It Always Ends In Misery": People Are Calling Out The Subtle Relationship Mistakes Many Of Us Don't Even Realize We're Making
Relationships can be hard work, especially when we don't even realize in the moment what we could be doing to treat our partners (and ourselves) better. Recently, people on Reddit shared the sneaky little relationship mistakes that too many of us have no idea we're making, and I definitely felt called out by a few of them. Here's what people had to say: 1."Getting complacent and slowly putting less and less effort into the relationship." —Traditional-West-219 "Yeah, this is what got my last relationship. Four years in, and on the cusp of getting married, they just completely stopped putting any effort into any aspect of our life together. Glad they did it before we married so I could untangle myself from them without it being a legal issue, I suppose." —zaidelles 2."Keeping a list of things you did, thinking your partner has to match your efforts to keep it even. I did this, so it's your turn to do that. Surefire recipe to fuck up your relationship." —sneakertotheizm 3."Not keeping a separate life outside of them." —MNJayW 4."You're actually supposed to like your partner." —StructuralFailure "This is one of the things that has been the most shocking to me in my adult life. I've come across so many people who truly dislike their partners. How can you share your life with someone you actively dislike? Honestly, I'd rather be alone! I will never understand it." —Pascale73 5."Bending over backwards for someone who doesn't put any effort into the relationship. It always ends in misery." —Theemberveil 6."Trying to deal with things on your own because you don't want to burden your partner or upset them. You are in this together." —Spooge_Bucket 7."People not realizing that the smallest things make a difference. Putting clothes in the hamper. Making them a cup of coffee. Helping without being asked. Etc." —Valuable-Weakness909 "Exactly. It's wild how much those tiny things add up. The feeling of being cared for without having to ask. I think many people underestimate how much that matters." —rodenthammer 8."Viewing your partner as an enemy during arguments. It shouldn't be me vs you, it should be us vs the problem. A lot of people would rather feel like they got the last word in or were 'right' about something than make sure their partner feels safe, loved, and respected." —40_degree_rain "Whenever I get stressed, I can get a bit snappy. My husband has this really great way of saying 'hold on, we're on the same team,' which reminds me that it's us vs the issue, not us vs each other. He truly is my better half in every way." —VanessaCardui93 9."Putting your partner on a too high pedestal, instead of seeing them as an equal. Once they look down on you, they will always look down. Don't put them on a pedestal, and refuse to get on one too." —A-Druid-Life 10."Moving too quickly. Your brain feeds on that initial spark of love like a drug. You become addicted to it and aren't always able to effectively evaluate compatibility until a certain amount of time has passed, and that drug starts to wear off a bit. But by the time this has happened for most people, they might have already gotten engaged, moved in, or somehow else have tied their lives together." —ambarone 11."Never thinking about what you want from a relationship or why you are in one in the first place." —No_Salamander8141 12."Acting inconvenienced when your partner is trying to connect. My most recent ex would be on TikTok all day, and anytime I opened my mouth, they would sigh and act annoyed as though I was 'distracting' them. It got to the point where I just stopped trying to talk to them. Death of a relationship, right there." —TechnicallyVeryMoist 13."Leaning on and going to someone outside your relationship when your relationship has problems, instead of working it out with your partner." —Imaginary-Bear-4057 "I've seen this so much. People come to me talking about their relationships and what to do/how to fix them. When I ask, 'Have you talked to your partner about this?' they say no. So my response is, 'Maybe you should talk to them first; they don't even know this is something you're upset about.' It amazes me how people just won't talk to their partners." —SirMathias007 14."Staying in the relationship just because you've invested so much time (sunk cost fallacy). You're either going to be unhappy forever, or eventually realize you should have left a long time ago." —jawshankredemption94 "Especially if you have children, shared finances, or large assets. The sunk cost grows deeper and deeper. I laugh when I think back to falling for the sunk cost fallacy because it had been 8 months, and I didn't want to find a new flat for the last 6 months of uni. 17 years later..." —Submarineto 15."Focusing too much on all the things that you're doing for your partner that you're missing what they're doing for you. Similarly, focusing too much on their mistakes and completely missing your own." —loomin 16."This is something my therapist once mentioned. Adults forget how to PLAY. However you play (being silly, playing fun games, pranking each other, little things that make you feel like a kid at heart), you need to keep doing that. It reminds you to be fun with each other, a trait that is usually lost pretty quickly after things get comfortable." —Forsaken_Ninja_7949 17."Being dependent on your partner for everything is usually a huge mistake that I've seen people make but won't admit. Maybe it worked back then, but now? That usually opens up to a situation they can't walk away from. I wouldn't feel comfortable getting into a relationship where my partner controls everything while I have nothing." —akaram369 18."Expecting it to be 50-50. Yes, it's great to be absolutely equal in the effort put in and received. But honestly, sometimes it's 70-30 because I'm having a really shitty time, and I only have the capacity to put in 30, and then my wife puts in more, recognizing that. Then other times it's 20-80 because my wife is the one who needs space and time to heal or cope with something, and can't put in the 50% needed. A relationship is supposed to be a safe place that rejuvenates you and energizes you; it's not supposed to be a place that drains your energy." —peepee2tiny 19."Arguing on an empty stomach. Like bro, are you mad or do you just need fries?" —BaseSure1172 20."Letting off the gas when it comes to changing things. I often fall victim to implementing a change we discuss at length, but then I think I have accomplished everything we talked about, and let it slip my mind, and repeat the cycle. Save yourself the trouble and don't lose focus on holding yourself accountable!" —Odious_Muppet 21."Forgetting to check in on your partner and your relationship. Just a simple, 'How do you think we're doing these days?' Forgetting to be curious about your partner just because you see and talk to them all the time." —bookishwayfarer 22."Texting all their challenging conversations. There's so much opportunity for miscommunication." —spider_hugs "My ex-wife was big on this. I would get texts a mile long in the middle of the day. Like, can you wait and talk in person???" —Suikoden420 23."This is one of the biggest issues for my husband and me: the benefit of the doubt. I ask him one sentence, and he will often misconstrue 10 different things that he thinks I feel, mean, or was actually saying. We are on the same team, we are partners — sometimes it's just a question. He is very defensive from his own family and childhood issues, and unfortunately, I get the brunt of it a lot." —passtheblame 24."Not expressing negative emotions or telling your partner they have upset you. This leads to built-up resentment and sometimes contempt." —Imaginary-Command542 "I had a relationship that I thought was great! Finally, a drama-free relationship! But eventually it made me realize that I found it hard to communicate with her how I feel about certain things that upset me, because I didn't want to create drama. Eventually, the relationship just crumbled because I became increasingly distant from her." —ihaten_blank_er 25."Arguing about the argument." —ImprovementFar5054 26."I love the advice a priest gave my friends. God doesn't pick your partner; he puts them on your path, and you pick them every day. Some days I get irritated with my wife, my kids, and my life, and then I remind myself that people beg and pray for what I have, and I stop, I give everyone forehead kisses and put down my phone, book, tools, etc, and sit and listen to them for 30 minutes. Listen to them talk, no feedback, no conversation, just listening and reacting to what they say. The value of just stopping and appreciating someone is immeasurable." —AwarenessPrimary7680 27."Not practicing humility. We are all human beings, we are allowed to make mistakes and be forgiven for them, but we have to couple it with the humility and integrity to properly apologize to the people we hurt and take accountability for the past. Without being able to properly face the past and practicing empathy for oneself and those around them, they will forever feel a perpetual victim to the world and people in their life, while never making the honest changes that could turn their life and how others treat them around." —Kali_404 28."Saying 'yes' too much or being 'too supportive.' I've seen people run themselves ragged and eventually want out of relationships because they feel like they have to support every whim of their spouse, and they eventually get exhausted and resentful. The spouse isn't always taking advantage of them either, they just feel like they have to say yes all the time." —GradeNo893 finally, "Most relationship struggles aren't caused by lack of love but by unspoken differences in how love, safety, and respect are understood. Not realizing that is the silent mistake." —Mi7che1l Is there anything you would add to this list? Tell me all about it in the comments or via the anonymous form below: Solve the daily Crossword
UAE Moments
25-07-2025
- Business
- UAE Moments
Your Daily Career Tarot Card Reading for July 26th, 2025
26.7.25 Strength: Drawing this card indicates that if you're willing to make just a bit more effort you can forge ahead now. Whether you're hoping to get a fabulous job or want to expand your business, this is your opportunity to go for it. Yes, you will need to apply yourself and may have to work harder and longer for a while, but it will be worth it.
New York Times
06-07-2025
- Health
- New York Times
How to Decide, According to Neuroscience
It can be hard to align a meaningful life with the human craving for instant gratification. Many of the goals we care about most require planning and effort to achieve, yet our brains are configured to pursue rewards that come as soon as possible. Even deciding how to spend a weekend can feel like an impossible negotiation of trade-offs: Work or family? Save money or go out with friends? Rest or show up for a cause you care about? Understanding how our brains weigh these decisions can help us bridge what feels good now with what truly matters. Recalibrating our decision-making process can help. That means making time to identify our bigger goals and thinking through clear and specific steps toward them. Then we can find ways to make small choices feel rewarding in both the near and the long term. Seeking out social rewards, reframing our choices and making small changes to how we consider each decision can help. This can make it easier to take action — even when challenges feel overwhelming. Humans weigh choices in a brain network called the valuation system. It's where we identify the options we're choosing between, calculate the likely reward for each and make a choice. Close-to-home rewards ignite the system that pushes us to act. But when the rewards are distant or vague — such as influencing a sweeping government policy or making a major life change — the brain struggles to see the payoff, and motivation falters. That's why doughnuts can win out over our health goals and why we might binge-watch a show instead of going to a town meeting, even if we'd say that the latter actions are more compatible with who we want to be. In brain scans, neuroscientists like me can see these processes unfold. Rewards that are far in the future, situations that are geographically far removed or events happening to someone else are all represented in similar ways; future you is akin to an acquaintance. The less vividly we imagine a reward, the less weight it gets in our value calculations. But when we try to motivate ourselves, we often focus on long-term benefits rather than nearer-term rewards. We're working against our brains when we try to motivate ourselves this way. This year, I found myself in a situation that tested my ability to align how I was spending my energy day to day with things I care about deeply. The Trump administration cut billions of dollars in science, health and defense research investments to universities, which directly affects my lab at the University of Pennsylvania. This was part of a larger effort to cut health and science funding that will result in enormous economic pain, leave patients without care and make it harder to develop treatments for diseases like cancer, heart disease, dementia and depression. I've lost loved ones to these diseases. I know the people whose jobs are at stake. And I know the cost of halting a clinical trial midway through. Despite understanding the stakes of these cuts, when the news first arrived about Penn, I felt paralyzed. I was unable to see how anything I could possibly do would help the situation. I'd lay in bed, doomscrolling — stress, after all, changes how the valuation system functions. Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
UAE Moments
01-07-2025
- Business
- UAE Moments
Your Daily Career Tarot Card Reading for July 2nd, 2025
2.7.25 Strength: Drawing this card indicates that if you're willing to make just a bit more effort you can forge ahead now. Whether you're hoping to get a fabulous job or want to expand your business, this is your opportunity to go for it. Yes, you will need to apply yourself and may have to work harder and longer for a while, but it will be worth it.
Washington Post
13-06-2025
- Sport
- Washington Post
In Charlie Hustle's day, 110% effort was non-negotiable. In modern baseball, it's more complicated
DENVER — Imagine this inspirational slogan on a T-shirt: Give 70% effort. It's not quite as catchy as the 110% baseball players have been instructed to exert since Little League. But maybe, just maybe, Jazz Chisholm Jr.'s on to something with his theory that going 70% might be the way to be his best self — and cut down on strained obliques or pulled hamstrings in the process.
